I came a long ways to meet you, and I wondered if those of you who are sitting towards the back of the room would please move up to the front of the room. Rosie and Mark, would you come up? No, you have to leave to do some business, I understand. Thank you. Did you want to record this, Jean? Yeah, it's on. It's on? Okay. So there it is. So is this...

[01:05]

is this building called the Friends House? Friends Meeting. Friends Meeting House. So I just wanted to say at the beginning and say that I think it's wonderful to say that this is a Friends Meeting House and also mention that one time somebody, I heard anyway, that somebody asked this person who we call Shakyamuni, who lived in India 2,500 years ago, approximately. They asked him if friendship had something to do with the Buddha, the Buddha way, or the practice of the Buddha's teaching. And he said, yes, it does. As a matter of fact, There's nothing more to the Buddha way than friendship.

[02:13]

Friendship is the whole thing. And I hope I can say this with respect. An important religious leader, contemporary religious leader, said something like, only through friendship, he actually said, only through this friendship Does the door to true life open? And when I read that, I thought, yeah, just take out the this and say, only through friendship does the door or the gates of true life open. But he said this, and he meant the type of friendship. But I don't think, my only feeling is, a particular type of friendship isn't as friendly as all types of friendship. Friendship with everybody. And not just a mild friendship or this type of friendship.

[03:23]

But the friendship between all of us, the friendship between all Zen Buddhists, and the friendship between Buddhists and Muslims and Taoists and Christians and Jews and Baha'is and whatever, the friendship among all religious people and also among all non-religious people and also between people and plants, the friendship between the total environment and all beings, that unlimited, totally all-pervasive friendship That's the true way of life that I propose to you. So it's nice to be meeting in a friend's meeting house.

[04:27]

And it's nice of you to move closer when I invite you to. So sometimes people invite me to go someplace, and then they say, well, what's the topic of the event going to be? So then I suggest something, and then the whole world changes between that moment of suggestion all over the place. And then we arrive here. But until I try to honor what I said, you know, years ago, I would talk about. So fortunately I chose something which still applies, which is transforming the world in the light of Buddha's wisdom. I'm still really interested in transforming the world in the light of wisdom.

[05:35]

In the description I also suggested, I proposed that our world is constantly being formed and transformed in the darkness of delusion. There was limited space, so I didn't mention that our world is also constantly formed and transformed in the light of Buddha's wisdom. There's wisdom all around our world and delusion in our world and both wisdom and delusion have consequence. and they both form worlds together. The vision of the enlightened beings together with the vision of the unenlightened beings are transforming the world. I propose that to you.

[06:45]

And then I also said, I wrote, in the light of Buddha's wisdom, our world can be transformed in beneficial and liberating ways. The contribution that is made in the light of wisdom is a beneficial contribution to the transformation of the world and a liberating contribution. The contribution made by unenlightened consciousness is sometimes beneficial and sometimes not. Unenlightened beings can make beneficial contributions to the formation of the world, also harmful contributions, but they don't really make liberating contributions. That requires perfect wisdom. Still, I want to emphasize that we're working together with our more or less enlightened state, and we're working together with all enlightened states, and they are working together with us.

[08:04]

So I am proposing to you that every moment of your life, every moment of our life, you and I together with all other beings, And again, that means all of the humans, but also all of the rabbits and cats and dogs, etc. All living beings are constantly contributing to the formation of the world. In other words, I'm proposing the teaching that the world is formed by the actions, the intentions, and the stories of living beings. Every moment that you have a story in your mind, which is pretty much all the time, that story has consequence.

[09:08]

One of the consequences is to support in the next moment your life of telling another story. Another consequence is that your story together with everybody else's story, forms worlds. So we are constantly contributing to the formation of worlds. What most people would like is to make a contribution and liberating contributions to the world. Most people would like that. Most people would. I don't actually know if it's most. A lot of people would. I don't know if it's 51% or more. Because a lot of people, as you know, are so miserable that they actually might actually think, I would like to make a contribution to this blanketing blank world. This world that has been terrible to me and all these people who abandoned... I would like to make a bad contribution. Some people think that way.

[10:10]

But a lot of people, actually, would like to make a positive contribution to a world where some people would completely like to destroy. They still would like to make a positive contribution. I guess that most of you would, and I guess that this building is dedicated to friendship. to wishing to transform the world into a world of friends. And they say when they're in accord with their friendship are non-violent. And their friendship, when it's really strong, they have the courage to resist violent tendencies because they know how to be friendly to violence in themselves and Okay so far? And the next thing I said here in the description was when we thoroughly and graciously contemplate our stories and intentions which form worlds, these stories and intentions form worlds, when we graciously and thoroughly pay attention to them, take care of them,

[11:33]

like our most precious thing, actually. Take care of them as well as our most precious friend. Be friendly to our stories. Another way to say it is if we wholeheartedly, if you and I wholeheartedly contemplate our stories, which are forming worlds. then in that contemplation, in that wholehearted contemplation of our stories, the stories will be positively transformed. And those stories which are transformed in this wholehearted contemplation will transform the world in a beneficial and even liberating way.

[12:35]

Because even beneficial effects in the world, if people do not have the proper attitude towards them, the proper friendliness, they can still get attached to beneficial transformations. So we want positive transformations but also transformations of a world where we can let go of the world and the reality of change. And also part of what I want to say tonight is that in order to wholeheartedly, you might say, be abreast, contemplate our stories, which are being generated in our mind every moment, In order to do this wholeheartedly, we can only be wholehearted when we do the contemplation together. We create the world together.

[13:37]

We don't necessarily think we create the world together. And we can contemplate. I can contemplate my stories and you can contemplate your stories. You can contemplate your intentions. I can contemplate my intentions. But if I think, if my stories is that I can contemplate them by myself, my contemplation will not be gracious. Or rather, it will be only half gracious or partially gracious. My contemplation, our contemplation, well, my contemplation in the sense of me contemplating them by myself or with some people will not be wholehearted So I'm proposing that if we want our stories, which are our ongoing contribution to the formation of the world, if we want our stories to be good and liberating, we need to be wholehearted.

[14:44]

And in order to be wholehearted, we need to understand that we do not pay attention to our stories alone, that everybody's doing it with us. We need to remember to think that what we're doing, we're doing together. So, you know, it's okay to say, like, Miss Randigan asked me to transfer a cup of tea into water earlier tonight and I said okay so I went to get to transfer the tea into a from a cup of tea to make the cup pour into a glass so I would have a glass of tea which would fit into her car's decorum better. Approaching it she said can you do that by yourself? You know, kind of like, can you pour a cup of tea into a glass of tea?

[15:53]

And I said, no. I cannot do that by myself. Help me. In order to live wholeheartedly, we need to think. To have a new story. which is constantly changing the story of how we don't think alone. If you have a story that you can think something alone, it's okay. It's all right. You can have that story. And I would just mention to you that if you or I think that way, we're not being wholehearted. And in that half-hearted or It's actually like an inconceivably small version of your actual reality. In that tiny little version of your life, you won't develop the sufficient intensity to see the truth.

[16:58]

But you don't have to think that way. You can just open up and accept reality that you don't do things alone. That when I go to... You take the cup into the room and find the glass, which, you know, I found because Lynn came with me. Because I said I can't do this by myself, so she came with me. And she said, do you know where the glass is on there? I said, no. But she knew where they were, sort of. And she found them because many people helped her find them. And she got the glass, and then everybody helped me. Even you people helped me. pour the tea from the cup into the glass. Now, I'm not saying I've reached wholeheartedness in that activity, but I would say this. In fact, everything you do is wholehearted. But if you do it wholeheartedly, you might miss it.

[18:03]

And if you miss it, then you're missing it as consequence. And the consequence is less than most beneficial contribution as a result of the action which you do not open to the totality of. You're already doing everything together. We are already doing everything together. We need to train ourselves to open to this reality. And it is in this openness, in this wholeheartedness, The world is transformed the way everybody wants it to be transformed. That's my proposal. I, in case, you know, in case it's not clear, I just wanted to make it clear. It's clear to you, but I want you to know that I know somewhat that I'm a limited... I don't like to say flawed, but anyway, I've got problems. I have challenges.

[19:06]

I sometimes forget, actually, that I'm doing things together with everybody. And sometimes when I do, I notice it. Oh, I thought I did that by myself. Deluded. And I'm not that... I don't feel that bad when I... Actually, I don't feel that bad when I notice that I'm deluded. deluded in thinking that I can do something by myself, once I notice it, I don't feel so bad about noticing it and confessing it because I have heard, and it makes sense to me, that all great beings have noticed the same thing. They've noticed their delusions. All great beings are those who have noticed their own delusions. Some people who are... All great beings. Everybody's a great being, but those who have realized that they're great beings are those who have realized that they're deluded.

[20:12]

Everybody's a great being, but those who have not noticed that they're also deluded do not realize that they're a great being. The Buddhas are those, the enlightened, the thoroughly enlightened ones, who are teaching us over the infinite time and space, they are those who have noticed their own delusion and wholeheartedly contemplated their own delusion that they could do something by themselves, their own story that they do something alone. They have contemplated those delusions, understood them, and in understanding delusion realized Buddhahood. whole beings, those great beings who do not notice their delusions and who, guess what, notice other people's delusions. Great beings can notice other people's delusions just like those who do not realize it can notice it.

[21:24]

But they, those who do not realize their own delusions, spend a lot of time dwelling on other people's delusions, other people's faults, other people's shortcomings, and skip over the main work of studying their own delusion. But again, wholeheartedly. So wholeheartedly means, to me, it means I pay attention to what I'm thinking, moment by moment. When I'm wholehearted, I pay attention to what I'm saying, the postures I'm in. I give attention to them graciously, wholeheartedly pay attention to what I'm doing. And part of that wholeheartedness is I pay attention to how everybody's doing whatever I'm doing with me. And no matter what I'm doing, or what I'm feeling, or who I'm meeting, every being that I meet

[22:42]

And every being I meet outwardly and inwardly. All my own feelings, all my own emotions, all my own stories. And every person I meet, every human person and every non-human person, every being I meet, every event I meet, all of them, I meet wholeheartedly, which means I open to them. And it means, if I'm wholehearted, it means I'm tender and gentle with them. If it's a violent being in my own heart, if there's violence in here, if there's a thought of violence or an ill will, being wholehearted means that I open to the ill will and I'm tender with it and gracious with it and gentle with it. It means I'm peaceful with it. It means I'm harmonized with it. It means I'm honest with it. And it means I'm upright with it. which means I don't lean into believing what I see, what I feel, what I think, what I want, and I don't lean away from it.

[23:59]

Everything, everything is a great being. There's no not great beings. And if we practice this way with all beings, we realize Buddha's wisdom, the light of Buddha's wisdom, that the light of Buddha's wisdom is shining from us into every being and from every being back into us. All beings are thoroughly irradiated by Buddha's wisdom and shining it back. All beings are great beings. All beings are wholehearted beings. All beings are generous beings. But if we don't practice kind of like what I'm talking about, we won't realize it. And then our contribution, which we will be making moment after moment after moment, our contribution will be less than it could be. It doesn't mean it won't be somewhat good. It could be somewhat good.

[25:06]

To me, it looks like none of you are making a real bad contribution right now. I kind of feel like you're making a pretty good contribution. But I wouldn't say that all of you are realizing the fullness and wholeness of your contribution. Maybe you are? Let me know. But maybe some of you feel like, well, actually, I don't know if I'm really that tender with everything I experience. Some people give a real tough whack, a mean-hearted whack to some things they think. Some people have a demeaning comment about some things they feel. ungenerous feeling. And if you feel that way and you go with that, you may not realize that actually that feeling is generosity itself.

[26:14]

So we practice that way with everything. if we want to realize the best, the greatest contribution that we can make in the moment. And we need to, we need to pray. We need to invite all beings to join us. We need to pray to them, with them, and for them. We need to pray for all unenlightened beings. We need to pray to them and for them. And we need to pray to all enlightened beings, to them and for them and with them, in order to open up to the way we can be. The enlightened beings are constantly saying, yeah, please let me into your life. I'm here for you. I love you. I don't know if I want to live with you and be close to you.

[27:24]

Well, if I invite you very tenderly, would you consider it? Yeah, maybe. Maybe I would. Let's see it. Let's give it a try. Invite me really sweetly, really uprightly. Okay, yeah. Honestly, all right. You're scared of me? Yes, I'm scared of you. Well, at least you told the truth. Okay, maybe I will hang out with you. Pray that you will open to all beings and all beings will come and practice with you. Vow. Vow. Wish. Wish, pray, and commit. Make a deep and dignified commitment to what? To practice in such a way that you will be wholehearted. Commit. Commit. Promise deeply and calmly and as best you can allow yourself to do.

[28:32]

Commit to being gentle with every being you meet. every animal, every plant, every mountain, every river, every pain, every pleasure. Be gentle with your pleasure. Don't grab it and hold on to it for yourself. But if you do grab it and hold on to it for yourself, be gentle. Oh, nice little grabber. Are you enjoying grabbing and holding on to your pleasure, sweetheart? Is that like lots of fun? What are you asking me for? Et cetera. Oh, yeah, I just wondered. Actually, I was kind of interested whether you were enjoying it. Funny me? Well, no, I didn't mean to. Did that seem like it? Yeah. I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't that gentle. You seem to be frightened holding on to your pleasure. Hoarding it.

[29:36]

Getting angry at anybody who... or your pain. You seem to be whacking your pain, trying to get rid of it and kick it out of your life. You seem to be doing that, are you? Yeah? Okay. I'm here with you, I support you, no matter how cruel you are to yourself. You know, I promise solemnly to learn and constantly practice being gentle with everybody. Without the promise, we also might not join the practice. And if we don't join the practice, then we will not realize what wholehearted, generous beings we are. We are, but we won't realize it unless we practice this way. Got to practice wholeheartedly, in order to realize you're wholehearted, in order to practice wholehearted, you've got to invite help.

[30:44]

Because you can't do it alone. You've got to let people know that you need their help, and when they ask you for help, you say, basically, yes. Help me. Or, help when you are helping me. Please continue to support me. And to vow to do that. So, yeah, so the vowing, the promising, the committing, the way you want to practice in order to make the best contribution to the forming and transforming of the world. I think it's necessary. It's a capacity that we have and we need to use. And we also have the capacity, well, to be rough, but that seems like most people have got enough of that.

[31:48]

Most people are rough enough with themselves and others. I don't know, I almost know one that's not rough enough. Some people are rough with other people, but they're rough with themselves. And some people are not rough with themselves, but they're rough with other people. Some people are rough in both directions. And if I meet somebody that's not rough with anybody, I say, great, you got that down. That's the gentleness. You're good at being great. This is wonderful. And But some people, although they're gentle, they're not honest. So we've got to work on honesty. And some people are honest, which is great, but they're rough about themselves. They say, I did a bad thing, and then they punch themselves. Or they see other people do unskillful things, and they punch them. So they've got the honesty, but not the gentleness.

[32:50]

Not the tenderness. Some people have honesty and tenderness, but they don't have they still kind of lean into these people that they're honest with. You know, they believe too much what they think of the person or they reject what they think of the person. So beings are like great and their greatness is like a A massive fire. The greatness of all things is like a massive fire. If you lean into it, you get burned. If you lean away from it, you get awful cold or freeze to death. Being excessive with being is injurious. Leaning away from them or avoiding them is injurious. So upright, balanced. Care a lot, but not too much about everybody.

[33:54]

Not care a little, care a lot. Care totally. Totally is not too much. It's just complete. It's just not holding back, but it's not going overboard either, just to make sure. And then peaceful and harmonious with every with your body and other bodies, with enlightened bodies and unenlightened bodies. Be peaceful and harmonious with all bodies, everybody. Everybody. That's the open, open to everybody. And then vow to practice that way, and vow to practice that way with everybody, inviting everybody's feedback. So, it is now time for me to say, you are invited to offer some feedback.

[34:59]

And if you'd like to express yourself, I'd like you to come up close to do it. Great, here comes somebody. He's going farther away. He's going to express himself farther away. Which, I want to be gentle with that. Anybody wish to offer anything, you are invited, hopefully graciously, to come and do so. Yes, please come closer. I started practicing Buddhism 15 or 16 years ago and have intended to sit on a regular basis and also intended to do a day-long retreat and have intended to sign up for a longer retreat. Finally did the last thing. Congratulations. When are you going? Congratulations.

[36:03]

But what I struggle with is every time you start, vow with the best of intentions to be kind, to be gentle, especially to be kind to yourself. Yes. And to practice. Yes. Feel like when you go by the wayside, don't practice. Right. back on the path, even when during your talk, I found myself listening to, well, great, I think I can be gentle. That seems to make sense. Well, now that you have that down, here's the next thing. I always feel like that when you practice with people that are farther along the path, if you will, that there's such a gap between where you are, it's almost easier to reject the path and move away, move off as a cushion. And that's what I struggle with. That and I was scared of the pain of my knees for five days. Well, that's good that you brought that up. So let's see now, go over now what the things you brought up. One was you brought up hear about something that sounds good to practice. You sometimes feel like, yeah, I would like to do that.

[37:06]

Is that right? And, for example, what practice might you want to do? To be upright or to be gentle? Was that the example you used? I started with the first example. So then you feel like, I would like to be gentle. That's actually a story in your mind, a wholesome story, and then I'm suggesting to you that you might consider committing to that, to promise. Oh, another thing you said was, oh, I think I can do that, okay? you know, you hear about being gentle, that would be good. I could do that. Well, the I think I could do that is something to be gentle with. So, when I hear you say, well, I think I could do that, I want to be gentle with that and mention to you that I think I can do that. In other words, don't hold on to that real tightly because you might not be able to do that. And also, you can't do that by yourself.

[38:08]

So you might have all of a sudden said, okay, how about, oh, I think we could do that. Yeah, uh-huh, we could do that, I think. So, although I like to be gentle when I hear about it, especially when I hear that Buddhas are gentle, I also understand that another promise I would like to make is that, to be honest, is that, oh, that wasn't so gentle. Or I invited feedback that that wasn't so gentle. And then I say, oh, and then I would say, well, I confess, I reveal and confess that that wasn't so gentle. And I don't actually feel that good about it, not being gentle. I don't feel violent about not being gentle. I just feel that's not right. I want to be gentle. So that process, I also vow to practice that. So when I'm not gentle and harmonious and honest and upright, when I slip in any of those regards,

[39:13]

I want to do the practice of confessing those and seeing how I feel in the sorrow of not following through. And that process I also vow to do to receive support, actually. When I do that, I open to getting support to get back on the wholehearted practice. And great beings, the people who are those who have confessed a lot and are still confessing. So you notice this, I would like to do that, maybe I'm ready to promise to do that, and also I might be able to do that, but I might forget. And if I forget, I also promise to confess that I did, part of being wholehearted is to confess when I'm not wholehearted. And then also, there are beings who are more developed than me, okay? And I invite them, rather than saying, okay, you're, my practice is so good, so I'm going to go someplace else.

[40:17]

Well, my practice is better than other people. I'm not going to hang out with you guys. I'm not going to be a sick fish in a big ocean with great fish. I'm going to go someplace where there's little sick fish and I'm good. I look good. Okay, I confess that. I confess it. But actually, I would like to invite the big guys, the big gals to come and practice with me. And I want to practice with you guys. I want to be like you guys. I'm not your guys yet, but I want to be like you guys. You guys are really totally, totally... You're the total ones. You've realized it, and I want to realize it. And I invite you to come and help me. I honor you. I make offerings to you. I have a relationship with you. I support you, great ones, and you please support me. I know you do, but I know you like to be invited, so I invite you. You're welcome.

[41:17]

if they're all the time trying to give us their blessings, if we invite them, our invitation, their offer, cross. And that's where the practice happens. It isn't just, I'm going to practice, or they're going to say, hey, can I give you help? And I'll say, I'm with you. And at that point, we meet. That's where it lives. Yes, Jane, is it? I just hear a scrap. You can call me. Yes, Jane. Thank you. Can you help me understand? I understand sometimes when I have this nice balance between gentleness and honesty. It feels right. And when people are there for me, it feels good. But when you add in upright, I'm not sure what that means.

[42:27]

Yeah, well, like I said, it kind of means like right now I see you and I think you're Jane. and you're, you know, a lovely woman and all that, okay? I think that. But I don't like, I try not to lean into that. In other words, I don't, if somebody says, Jane's really ugly, you know, person, and she's blah, blah. And I can go, oh, yeah? Oh, that's interesting. What makes you think so? Rather than feel insulted because I was leaning. and somebody else tells a different story and I feel affronted by their thinking. Okay. It's in the gentleness I'm open to somebody else telling a really different story about Jane. Jane's my best friend, that's the story I have, but I don't lean into that. Like I don't believe the story that she made. I just say, oh, that's a story I have about Jane. You know, it's a perfectly reasonable story and it's not that bad a story. Someone else might say to me, well, I'm not saying Jane's not your friend, because, you know, I love this friend thing, but I would say that Jane is your close friend, but she's not your best friend, because everybody else is your close friend, too.

[43:45]

But she's not your best friend. She's just your wonderfully, radiantly close friend. So I might say that to you. And if you weren't leaning into believing, if I wasn't leaning into, I'd go, oh, yeah, it's another way to look at it. It's a good way. It kind of complements my way. But if I'm leaning into what I think and believe, I should say what I think and imagine, the stories I tell, to open to the radiance of my stories. I'm so glad I asked you. Because when I heard the word upright, I thought it meant, okay, this gentleness and this honesty is the way. Yeah, exactly. It doesn't mean that. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. You're welcome. Thank you, Al. Al, or you could say all, too.

[44:53]

Call me all. Anything else anybody wants to offer? Deborah? Deborah? Still a little shy? Yeah, that's okay. I guess I'm trying to, my father's very sick, so when I go into his room to visit him, I try to be upright, really present with him. And gentle. And gentle, and it lasts for a little while. Good. Not that long, because often he's quite rough with me, and then he'll say something, and then I feel like I'm kind of smashed against the wall, and I don't feel like it's gentle for me to stay there anymore. I guess I don't know how to be with somebody that's rough with me. So somebody's rough, and being, I would say that in some ways being, first of all, it's being gentle, gentle, soft, tender, okay, but also upright, so that when they send a heavy energy towards you, you're, another word is flexible, soft, tender, so when energy comes, and you say balance, you just turn with it, and maybe you just turn with it.

[46:06]

I like it. But you're really like, you're actually gently adjusting to the energy. Oh, that really pushed me way over here. But then they go back in. Well, you go back in when you feel like we're all with you and we all want you to go back. Going back. Well, see, again, if you're avoiding, you're leaning backwards, you're not upright. Or if you're like, okay, I really want to go in there, you know, it's more like, okay, I'm available to this guy, but, you know, right now, the winds of energy have moved me away. Time may come when you want to go back, when you feel everybody's supporting you to go back again. So I just need to get you guys. When you're outside, when you're away from him, also you're being supported.

[47:13]

Feel it out there too. Feel the practice when you're with him. Don't just start practicing when you're with him. So this is a great energetic challenge because your relationship with him is a lot of power for both of you. All right. It's just hard to find the balance of when I'm being violent with myself, if that makes sense. It sure does, yeah. And it's good to be able to tell when you're being violent with your own feelings and when you're being violent with how he appears, with your story of him. A story of somebody. A monster isn't necessarily violent. It's just a story. Right. I didn't mean that he's a monster. Huh? I didn't mean that he's a monster. No, but I mean, I'm using the example of an extreme story that the story, the image of a monster isn't a violence. It's just an image.

[48:17]

It's just a story. But you can be violent with the monster. And then you sort of make the monster seem to manifest. Mm-hmm. But it's the... You know, if you ask the Buddha to help you be gentle, the Buddha doesn't make you gentle. The Buddha offers you a chance to be gentle. And your father's a chance to be gentle. But also, These practices, as I said, are not easy, except when you're doing them. Otherwise, to go from not doing them to do them is quite difficult. To move from not being gentle to gentle is quite difficult, especially with somebody who's being violent or threatening or... So it's an art to learn.

[49:24]

And you can promise, I promise to learn, but I haven't completely learned it yet. I haven't yet learned how to be gentle when somebody hurts me, especially somebody who I have really opened my heart to and really been kind to. And then they turn around and are rough with me, harsh with me, not gentle. That's quite difficult to come back with gentleness. But I'd like to learn that. And for me, The stories of Zen were stories of people who, when treated roughly, didn't run away and didn't fight back. And also, when treated graciously, didn't run away and didn't fight back. What to do to them, they just stay upright, you know, and they just come back with gentleness.

[50:26]

Some people, you're nice to them and they grab you. Oh, finally somebody's nice to me. Don't go away. You know, to actually practice any of these practices actually requires the other ones. And to do them all at once is what we call wholehearted. And you and I cannot do these practices by ourselves. You won't be able to meet great energy coming to you in a harsh way, to meet that wholeheartedly, thinking that you're going to do it by yourself. So it's hard, it's hard actually to accept all the help that you're getting to meet your father in an upright, gentle, harmonious way. It's hard to receive all the help that's coming. It's hard to learn that, but when you're open to it, It won't be hard or easy. It'll just be what you want. But before that, it's hard.

[51:29]

As you're saying, it's hard. Thank you. You're welcome. Any other contributions? Yes, please come. Would you tell us your name? Hi, my name is Luca. Luca. This is the first time I've been here. The words I use are different, but I'm finding some sort of a synergy. And I was thinking of, as you're saying, being upright. or leaning into or leaning away from, it's like creating a thing in our head, a story? No, I mean, you could make a story about what you just said could be a story, right? But what I mean is that when a story appears to you, like a story like, okay, this is my friend, or this is not my friend, this person is being rough with me, this person is being kind with me, that's the story.

[52:40]

That's what I mean by a thing in a sense, it's a reality. Yeah, you think it's a reality. Yeah. You think your story is a reality, where actually your story is about reality. Right. And then, so now you've got this story about reality, which is appearing to you, right? Now I'm saying, if you can be... and upright with that story, that the story will part, you know, that the curtain of the story will part, and you'll see the reality that the story is about. So it's not hard. It loses its hardness. Yeah, it loses its hardness, and it loses its misplacedness. You know, because we put a story on reality and then when it's on there we think, oh, the story is reality. Now when we think about it, we say, oh yeah, my story about Luke is, of course it's not Luke, but sometimes when I put my story on you, I forget that it was a story I put on you. And then I think, my story is you. That's my mistake.

[53:41]

But if I'm gentle with my mistake, both the story and mistaking it for reality, if I'm gentle with that and not lean into it, then I start to sort of not, when I come back upright with it, say, oh, it's a story of Luca. Okay, now I'll be gentle with the story. I have this story of you, Luca. And I say, do you have a story of me? Yes. You have another story of me? Mm-hmm. Yes, I do. I'm sorry. I apologize. I keep making stories of you with your help. And as I open to how everybody's helping me make stories, again, I start to say, oh, yeah, this is, you know, I start to open to the reality of the whole process. And then we start, the wisdom starts to dawn on us. When I make this sort of concrete thing, it gets smaller and smaller and smaller. Yeah, and tighter, and then we get more, you know, But if you watch the process, and you are watching the process because you can report that, that's good.

[54:48]

Now I'm giving you suggestions about how to open the process up and make it warmer and bigger and more energetic. And then the story will reveal itself. And the thing... The blockage, the blockage goes and then you get to see the reality, which is not a solid small thing, it's an ungraspable happening. Thank you. You're welcome. Any other offerings? Yes, Barbara. One of the difficult stories that you described for me has to do with recognizing that others are further along the path

[56:12]

than I am, you know, which I see all the time. And that makes me... That's kind of like what Al said, a little bit. You want to go someplace where you're not with these advanced people. Yeah. Kind of embarrassing to hang around with more skilled people. It's like, you know, as some of you know, I recently started studying I intentionally went there to be in a situation where I was surrounded by people who were more advanced in the practice than me, to feel what it's like to be a beginner again, rather than be in a situation where I have the most years of experience. Now I'm in a situation where I'm kind of one of the beginners. It's kind of uncomfortable, but I went there because it's good for us to be in it. We also don't want to go. Okay, I came, but I want to get out. I want to go home. I want to go home. I mean, it's still in bed. Everybody's watching me. Yeah, I think we all understand that, right? So we've got to gently encourage ourselves to go someplace where we're going to be with people that make us feel like a beginner.

[57:25]

Well, I can do that. The first step is sort of easy, because then I'm a beginner. And I can acknowledge that openly and easily. And you support from the advanced ones. But then the situation that I'm in, and probably it's a bit similar to Al's, is that, OK, now I've been at this for 10 years. So now I put the story on myself. That's the big one. I should be more advanced. And all these people, some of whom have been doing it for less time than I, I can see that they know more than I do. Yeah. And then, you know, comes the beating up. You know, I'm such a dummy. And to get out of You don't get out of it, though. Before you get out of it, we have this expression in Zen, the horse arrives before the donkey leaves.

[58:30]

So before you get out of it, before you get out of that, be gentle. Bring to the one who's beating herself up for progressing so slowly. Who's the gentle one? Well, maybe I should say just bring gentle. Bring gentle with the thinking, you know, I'm progressing so slowly and I think I'll beat myself up now. which will distract me from feeling slow and progressing and get me into something else, which, you know, maybe that will be less painful. But anyway, something like... I often use the example that if you saw, you know, your grandchildren doing what you're doing, wouldn't you just look at them and say, you know, I love you and I'm here with you, sweetheart.

[59:35]

And, you know, I sympathize with this pain. being mean to yourself, but if you keep doing this, I'm just going to stay here and keep loving you. And I'm not going to rush you out of this phase you're in. As a matter of fact, I just love you the way you are. I hope you, you know, learn how to take better care of yourself. But right now, I really, you know, I really feel tenderly towards you. Can you imagine doing that with a child? With a child, yes. Knowing what you're saying and knowing that you're meaning for me to do it for myself. I bring up to people, although they can't figure out how to be gentle with themselves, they just can't see it. Well, how about with that person? Could you do it with that person? No, I can't do it with them either.

[60:37]

Well, how about with your grandchildren? Yeah. Well, then do the same with yourself. Think of somebody that you would be gentle with. So there's some gentleness. Let that go over there towards this thing. This should never be allowed to get any gentleness. No? Okay. Let's come back. Got it? Can I use it on this thing? No, that doesn't deserve it. Not that. No, not gentle with that? No. Okay, let's find it again. And also, not only are you gentle and you're starting to open up, but the thing gets transformed. If you've got some problem situation that you'd like it to become edified and benefited or to be regulated,

[61:41]

the first way to get it to start evolving positively is to surround it with generosity and kindness. That's the beginning. That's not the whole story, but the gentleness is first. Generosity and graciousness is first. You know, gracias. Gracias. Gracias, sweetheart. Your suffering And I don't like your suffering, and I don't dislike your suffering. I love you, and I love your suffering. I don't like your suffering. I love your suffering. And you can love suffering into radiance. Love can change suffering into wisdom. You're welcome. Thank you for your challenging example.

[62:46]

Any further offerings tonight? You have one? Oh, okay. Then please come and give it. I have a story that it would be good and beneficial to get a picture of you lecturing to this wonderful group. I would be rewarded for being bold and just getting up and taking it and not asking anybody in. But somehow that feels violent in this setting and in this thing, in this situation. So I thought, for some reason I have the feeling that I need to gently ask If it would be all right... If you want to wholeheartedly take that picture... I wholeheartedly would like to. But I don't want to offend anybody. If you wholeheartedly want to take that picture, and you want to take that picture wholeheartedly, then you need to do it together with all beings.

[63:58]

One of the ways to find out if you're doing it together with all beings is to ask all beings, Do all beings support me to take a picture? Ask them. Do all beings support me to take a picture tonight? Yes. Does anybody oppose you? Because one of the ways to do things with all beings is for all beings, a lot of beings, to oppose you. But you've got to open to. No. Now, would anybody support me in coming up here and pretending they were actually, like, asking a random question? I just think of how you'd be benefiting all beings. All right. And while he's up here, I have an offering to make, which is a song. Which a lot of you have heard before, but it goes like this.

[65:01]

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Do you have a question? I feel like I had my question. You feel like you had your question? And then I popped in my afterwards. What is it? I ask, when you are talking to, addressing me or any of the other students, when you say, when you or you do this, think this, what do you mean by you? I mean we. When you, you or I, And I mean you or I, and also you and I, and also we, or us. That's what I mean. But sometimes I say you, sometimes I say me, sometimes I say us, sometimes I say you and me. Because what I mean is we do everything together.

[66:04]

But when we, in the form of your thinking, imagine that we're doing things alone, then each of us thinks that by ourself, you know, not by ourself, each of us thinks our own way of doing things alone is not the way I think you're doing things alone. Or I might not even think you're doing it. You might think, I'm brushing my teeth by myself, and I might think, I'm helping to brush his teeth. But the way you think is not the way I think. He's supported by me in the way I want to be supported by you. So even when you have a thought or a story that I don't know anything about, I'm still contributing to your story, and vice versa. So I can say you, meaning what you're experiencing, which I don't know of, but also I can say we because I contribute. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

[67:08]

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Would it be all right if I thank all of you, especially Al? Thank you so much. I can do it. I'm in complete control. That's what I tell myself. I got a mind of my own. Don't need anybody else. Gave myself a good talking to. No more being for you. But then I see you when I remember how you make me want to surrender to Buddha way. Catherine shaking her head. You're making me want to stay, but away. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

[68:14]

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Thank you all for coming. Hopefully you took a moment to sign our register so we can send you email updates and keep you posted on activities and to the retreatants, head on back and turn your cell phones and pagers off because we're heading into silence. Thanks for coming.

[68:48]

@Transcribed_v005
@Text_v005
@Score_85.66