It's a pleasure to be introducing Tenchin Roshi to you this morning. I first heard Tenchin Roshi, I think, in 1978 at the Minnesota Zen Center. Tenchin Roshi grew up in Minneapolis and went to San Francisco and studied with Suzuki Roshi and was the abbot of San Francisco Zen Center for a while and now is a senior Dharma teacher there. He's been coming to Minnesota, coming back to Minnesota for all these years occasionally, and I'm just very grateful for all that he's given to me and to the Klausenwater community, often saying just the appropriate statement. Thank you, Henshin Roshi. Thank you. As you heard, we just are coming to the conclusion of a weekend meditation retreat.

[01:21]

Can you hear me okay? No? Weekend meditation retreat? Is that better? At the beginning of the retreat, I related a conversation I had with a priest who practices in what we call Green Gulch Farm in California, where I live most of the time. And he came to me in the mode of confession he said he had trouble supporting some of the things that were going on at our Zen Center. And I think he meant by trouble supporting, trouble agreeing with things and putting his, devoting his energy to certain things.

[02:27]

And I responded to him by saying, well, I feel like whether you like what's happening here or not, and I'm not saying I like everything that's happening here, or agree with everything that's happening here, but we are involved in everything that's happening here. the Zen Center, but also in this world. There's, of course, terrible things going on among human beings and between humans and other creatures, things that we do not really agree with, do not really see as beneficial. But even though we may not agree with these things, we're still involved, and we are still always contributing to what's happening in this world.

[03:43]

Moment by moment, our life is influencing and contributing to this world situation. I don't think there's any way for us to avoid this, I said to him. I said, the main thing to me seems to be whether our contribution is positive or not. And of course, this person wants to make a positive contribution. Even in the midst of suffering, we can still potentially make a positive contribution. We can be kind even in the midst of war.

[04:43]

It's not easy, but it's possible, I think. Again, this monk was in the moment of confession. He wasn't, like, proud of the way he was feeling about the situation. And actually, he was rather upset. And in his state, in the mode he was in, I felt and I said to him that he's a wonderful person and a very sincere monk but if he doesn't take good care of himself, then he will not be able to make the kind of beneficial contribution that he wants to.

[05:55]

And he was getting upset about this situation that he didn't agree with, and speaking in a mode that wasn't as beneficial as he was capable of being. I reminded him of a story which I mentioned here and I've been mentioning around the country lately, which is a story that Buddha told about some acrobats. And the acrobats were called Ban Lu acrobats and there's various ways to visualize what they're

[07:05]

what their feet was, but one way to visualize it is that there was the acrobat and the acrobat's apprentice. The acrobat's apprentice was a woman, and her name was Prime Man, and I think what he did was he put the bamboo up on his head, and then she would get on his shoulders and climb up to the top of the bamboo and maybe juggle some things. And as she got on his shoulders to start to climb the bamboo, he said, got exactly what he said. Well, I don't want to say that he said that. But I think you're right.

[08:13]

I think he said, no, when you climb up there, you take care of yourself, and then things will go well. And she said, no. No, Master. Oh, Master, very respectfully, you take care of yourself. and I'll take care of myself and things will go well." And then the Buddha comments on the story saying, the apprentice goes right in her emphasis that the acrobat needed to take care of himself so he could form the base upon which he could help her. He was concerned with helping her before taking care of himself that was not appropriate, so he took care of himself. She told him, take care of yourself, that's how you can take care of me. And I'll take care of myself, that's how I can take care of you.

[09:16]

So first Buddha emphasizes taking care of yourself so you can take care of others. Then he says, and how do you take care of yourself in order to take care of others? Well, basically by practicing mindfulness of your condition. And how can you take care of others so that you take care of yourself? By practicing patience and non-harming and loving-kindness and compassion. If you take care of others that way, you will be taking care of yourself. You're patient. with the difficulties that you encounter when you meet others, and you don't harm them, and you're loving and compassionate and sympathetic. That way of taking care of them will take care of you.

[10:21]

But in order to be patient, you have to be aware of how you're feeling. if you're in pain, if you're irritated, if you're frightened, and you don't take care of that, and you're not mindful of that, then you will be less able to be patient and non-harming to others. So, if you can be patient and non-harming to others, that's good, and that will take care of you. But in order to be that way with people, in order to not harm the person who's up on top of the pole, you have to know what's going on with you. And if you're scared and angry and confused, you have to be mindful of that. Otherwise, those forms of turbulence will interfere with your being patient and not harming to this person.

[11:26]

That's what I said to that monk, and he listened. And that was that. Two thousand five hundred years ago, approximately, there was a human being who attained a very complete understanding of the nature of existence. And we call him the Buddha. He's the founder of the tradition called the Buddha Way. He's the founder in this little world we live in. And he, I guess he had some sense that he was involved in the world and he didn't agree or had problems with what was going on in the world.

[12:34]

He had problems with the suffering he saw. He had problems with the suffering he saw and he had problems with the suffering he saw. And he wanted to make a positive contribution to this world where people suffer for various reasons. He wanted to find a way of liberation for suffering beings. And this way of liberation from suffering, the path of liberation from suffering, was revealed to him. It came to him. It was given to him by the universe. And he taught this way. And when he received this path of freedom, and when he attained this freedom, he achieved various forms of understanding. And the highest form of understanding he called, if this scares him for being somewhat technical, the way he talked about it, he called the highest form of his understanding, which

[13:52]

constituted his liberation and the path of liberation. He called it the knowledge of the end of outflows, the knowledge of the ends of pain. These outflows are things in our mind which interfere with our access to an understanding which sets us free from all unskillful tendencies and releases our potential to make a positive contribution in this world. If we wanted to make a positive contribution, finally, he realized the end of those kinds of outflows and taints which undermine our ability to make a positive contribution.

[15:03]

And then he proceeded to make his positive contribution which quite a few people received from him and experienced. When they received his teaching and his practice, they realized also the same freedom which has been passed on for centuries. That was 2,500 years ago, we say. by our calculations of years. Then, by the calculation of years, 800 years ago, about, a person who considered himself, or rather, I don't say maybe that he considers himself, another human being who wanted to be a disciple of this Buddha, a person we call

[16:11]

E. H. Dogen, great ancestor E. H. Dogen, he also wanted to make a positive contribution to this world. And he also was fortunate to receive the knowledge of the end of Othello's He also became enlightened and then started to experience the joy of being able to work unhindered for the welfare of the world and make positive contributions. And he started a monastery, and in the monastery there was a cook, and he wrote a little instruction manual for the cook. called instructions to the cook.

[17:18]

And he gave lots of wonderful suggestions to the cook about how to be a cook in a way that makes a positive contribution in this world of suffering. And he lived in a time of great suffering. In this monastery he lived in, where he wrote this instructions to the cook, he was surrounded by war. He would actually walk out from the monastery along, I think, the Uji River and have to step over dead bodies sometimes. He lived in a world of suffering, just like today we live in a world of suffering. He wanted to make a positive contribution, and he gave instructions to the head cook of the temple about how to nurture the community and how to make a positive contribution. And the instructions to the cook, he said, these are instructions to the cook, but there's an attitude which I recommend which is good for the cook in order to make a positive contribution.

[18:34]

But actually, for whatever position you're in, these instructions will help you make a positive contribution. And I recommend to you that you develop three types of attitude, or three types of mind. A joyful mind, a great mind, and a grandmother mind. Actually, literally he said, a joyful mind, a great mind, and an old mind. Old mind, just old mind, which can be understood as elder mind, mind of an elder in the community. And elders sometimes really do want to make a positive contribution before they check out. In the little time they have left, they want to make some positive contribution to this world.

[19:38]

And he said that that this elder mind is the mind of the parent. But it's the mind of the parent applied to the whole world. Just like a parent who dotes on her only child, one's thoughts of the triple treasure, Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, are like their concentration on their only child. Just as parents think of their only child we bear in mind the triple treasure, the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha, the enlightenment, the truth, and the community.

[20:53]

Just like a parent cares for her only child, you care for the whole community. You keep the whole community in mind with the same concentration that is supported by our biology. this monk who wrote this Instruction to the Cook, later he moved from that monastery and started another monastery.

[22:13]

And at the other monastery, he was blessed by the presence of a wonderful skeleton who was also a tenzo and was an excellent tenzo, a very wholehearted tenzo who really did want to nurture the community. And as this great teacher was about to die, he called this wonderful disciple close to him. And he praised him highly. And he said, but there's still something that you need to work on. You're an excellent monk. both taking care of the monastery and in your own meditation practice. But there's something that you haven't taken care of yet. You haven't really developed grandmotherly mind.

[23:18]

In this case, he said grandmother mind rather than elder mind. And this monk who recorded this conversation where the great teacher said to him he didn't have his grandmother mind, he said, I really listened to my teacher, but you know, I don't know what he was talking about." And I, when I read that, heard about that, I didn't know what he was talking about either, because this monk took care of the monastery like some people take care of their only child. He was totally devoted. to the other monks. And also he was devoted to the people in the area. He was a really devoted person. He did take care of people as though they were his only child. I didn't understand, he didn't understand what his teacher was talking about.

[24:20]

part of being a parent of an only child, or the grandparent of an only grandchild, is that it's relatively easy to be unforgetting of this child. It's not that difficult. You don't have to keep saying, remember you had a grandchild, remember you had a grandchild. You don't have to do that usually. It's more like, where is he? Where is he? It would be nice if he was here, at least for a little while. So I, for years, wondered if I had the same problem as Gikai.

[25:38]

Did I say Gikai? The name of the monk was Gikai. I wondered if I had that problem too, of lacking grandmother mind. I felt somewhat devoted to practice, but he was devoted to practice and he lacked grandmother mind, and he was so great probably I lacked grandmother mind too. What is it really that Dogen was talking about that he lacked? He's praising and praising and praising him and he's making him the head of the monastery as he's dying. He's the most trustworthy person to take care of the monastery. But he still hasn't got, he hasn't really developed his grandmother mind. What is that that he's talking, what was he pointing to? after his teacher died, within about a year after his teacher died, he understood what it was his teacher was talking about. And he said that he heard his teacher give talks and he heard his teacher say that the way of enlightenment

[26:51]

is a conduct of Buddha. The way of enlightenment is the activity of Buddha. And beyond the words you speak, and the gesture you make with your arms and legs within the context of enacting the Buddha way. There is no other Buddha way. That's what Dogen taught him. And he said, I heard the teacher say that, but in my heart, I thought there must be something more to the Buddha way than that. Now he understood, and now I understand what Dogen was talking about.

[27:58]

He was pointing to the culmination of the grandmother mind. When the grandmother mind brings us to be totally devoted to a living being, caring for it in a sense even more than our own life, and at the same time not thinking that there's anything separate about enlightenment than this activity as the way to enact it. But our mind And even the mind of this great disciple of Dogen doesn't believe that. Splits. Makes a duality. And at that point,

[29:13]

where we see a duality, like, for example, me and some activity, the me and the activity, and I really think there's a me aside from the activity, then I can also think that there's a Buddha way aside from the activity. There isn't a Buddha way aside from the activity, and there isn't a me aside from the activity, and also I'm not the activity, and the Buddha way is not the activity. The activity is not the Buddha way, and I'm not the Buddha way. But I'm not apart from the Buddha way or apart from the activity, and the Buddha way is not apart from the activity or the activity. But our mind doesn't like that. And because our mind doesn't like that, it makes our activity and the Buddha way, or us and our activity, and then there are up-flows.

[30:22]

And then we're somewhat or severely hindered in making a positive contribution in this world. It's not that whatever you do is the Buddha way. It's rather to make whatever you do not apart from the Buddha way, and to make whatever you do as the Buddha way. But this is not so easy. And in particular, you know, with my grandson, although I, in some sense, am totally devoted to him, in some sense, I also, I must admit, can get distracted from the true spirit of grandfather mind.

[31:33]

If you do something, anything, any action you make, any word I say, any gesture I make with my hands, any posture I assume, if you do something to gain something, if you do something to get something, this is the grandmother mind that Dogen was pointing to. So you can be devoted to something, Yes, that's good. And you can be devoted wholeheartedly. Yes, that's part of it. That's it, you got it. And that's it. But we tend to be devoted to something to get something. Like devoted to meditation to get something. Devoted to grandchildren. Who, me? Devoted to grandchildren? Right. Devoted to grandchildren to get something. Uh, well, yeah.

[32:47]

Could that be that you're totally devoted to grandchild and you want to get something out of it? Like, perhaps, be the one he chooses to give in his bath? Who do you want to give you your bath tonight? Granddaddy? You know? Bitch on the way? one is tempted perhaps to give him some little treats. Then maybe he'll choose you to give him his bath among the various people applying for the job. Nice granddaddy, he wants, loves the little guy, loves him, but is there any outflows around the love? Is this Buddha's love or is this love tainted by wanting some reward. Rewards do come often from grandchildren to grandparents, and actually from grandchildren all over the place.

[33:58]

They give rewards to a lot of people they see. Okay, rewards, okay, but to be devoted to something to get a reward, that is the thing that the Buddha gave up. and giving that up, you attain the way and become this wonderful contributor to world peace. Many of you want world peace, but if you try to get anything out of your activity, that creates these outflows, and these outflows will undermine your devotion to world peace and to benefit to people you meet. But it's not easy to avoid getting distracted.

[35:07]

And also, another thing that can happen to grandfathers is that they can become intoxicated not by taking alcohol, but by their grandchildren. So grandparents, and actually everybody, needs to watch out for getting intoxicated. And the Buddha recommended and recommends that we keep in touch with the contemplation, I am subject to aging. I am subject to illness. I am subject to death.

[36:12]

Everything that I find dear and appealing, I will grow different from and separate from. And everything I do will have consequences and they'll come back to me and they will affect the world. And then the Buddha says, why do I recommend these contemplations? Because if you do not, remember, that you're subject to aging, then you will become intoxicated by youth. And if you become intoxicated by youth, you will do unbeneficial things. You will not make a positive contribution to this world.

[37:15]

If you don't remember that you're subject to illness, then you will become intoxicated by health. And if you become intoxicated by health, you will do things which are unhelpful in this world. If you don't remember and if you're not mindful that you are subject to death, then you will become intoxicated by life. Even if you're old and sick, you can still become intoxicated by life. And even if you're old and sick, you can still become intoxicated by youth. And you can become intoxicated by just the idea that can intoxicate you, even if you're old and sick. If you're dead, you don't have that problem. But as long as you're alive, you can be intoxicated in these ways. And of course, if you're young and healthy and alive, you can be intoxicated in all these ways really well.

[38:24]

So we know young people can really be intoxicated and think basically they're indestructible because they're so intoxicated by their youth, other people's youth, their health, other people's health, and their life. Also, if I don't remember that this darling little boy will be separated from me and I will grow different from the way I like to be in his presence, then I can become intoxicated by him. And also if I don't remember the fact that everything I do has consequences, again I can become intoxicated around my actions. So part of getting grounded in realizing the Buddha mind, the grandmother Buddha mind, is these contemplations.

[39:30]

Actually some people are quite generous to me and think it's kind of cute to see me kind of intoxicated when I'm around him, around my grandson. I do sometimes get almost like I'm drunk. They kind of look that cute to see how he can push me around. I have to work hard actually, not work hard so much, but work diligently to not get intoxicated in his presence. And if I do get intoxicated, although it's kind of fun, then that makes me more vulnerable to be concerned about what I'm getting out of it. And I start becoming more concerned for myself. because the intoxication causes these psychic disturbances and I start to get really uncomfortable in certain ways and start to get concerned about me rather than him.

[40:41]

Once we're not intoxicated, if we manage to get not intoxicated by these contemplations, then we're with the darling people when we're with health and life and youth, when we're with people that are dear to us, once we're not sober, then we can start looking carefully to see, is there any, now, now that we're sober, is there any kind of gain we're trying to get out of this? So, Many people come to Zen centers to get something. And they think they might. And then they go to yoga studios because they want to get something, something good. Fine. Fine.

[41:48]

And then they're willing to make a big effort to get something. And maybe they start noticing that as they make a big effort in order to gain something, then maybe they notice, oh, this is painful, this is stressful to be making all this effort to get something. And maybe they even hear at the yoga studio an instruction which says, if you're practicing yoga to get something, that's going to be painful, that's going to cause outflows, which are going to undermine your yoga practice becoming a positive contribution in this world. If you assume a yoga posture, if you cook lunch, if you sit in yoga meditation posture at a yoga studio or a Zen center in your house, if you sit that way wholeheartedly, I say, that's part of brand new mind.

[42:56]

That's the part Gikai could do wholeheartedly. But he still thought there was something to gain apart from just doing that wholeheartedly. And that's what his teacher gently reminded him. You don't really have grandmother mind yet. And again, people tell me at Zen centers where I go in it, San Francisco Zen Center, they say, I made a big effort to practice meditation to get something, and I noticed that I did get something. And then I made a great effort to practice meditation to get something, and I did get something. And then sometimes I didn't get something, and sometimes I did. But anyway, I noticed that making an effort to get something is painful. So then I stopped trying to get something. But then, when I stopped trying to get something, I didn't want to make a big effort anymore. So if you go to be with your grandchild, you're not going to get anything.

[44:05]

He's not going to choose you to give him a bath. He's not even going to pay attention to you. He's going to kick you around the room. Well, then I won't make a big effort for you. I'm not going to give my whole life to you, you little ungrateful, unrewarding unrewarding one. you can actually stop caring about these dear people when the outblows start to hit. The people you care most about, the people I care most about, the people I'm most devoted to, most devoted to, wholeheartedly, I'm trying to get something that can become so painful that I actually stop caring about them.

[45:15]

I go away from them. I even hate them. I hate them because I'm trying to get something. It can get to that point. How can we be totally devoted to some activity without trying to get anything? This is the study in ending outflows. And then if we get to that place and say, oh, this is the end of outflows, this is the end of suffering. Making an effort to get something, this is suffering. to see that over and over. That's easy to see, relatively easy to see, if you're sober. If you're not sober, then it's really hard to see that when you make an effort to get something, it's painful. You're too confused even to see it. You keep doing it, but it isn't that clear that the suffering is coming from trying to get something.

[46:21]

But when you're sober, you have a chance to see, oh, there's where the suffering comes from. And when there isn't, seeking to gain something from this devotion, from this effort, from this generosity, from this kindness, then there's not suffering. There's not. And then the very same activity becomes Buddha activity and becomes beneficial. So part of the grandmother mind is to be totally devoted to what you're doing and as an opportunity to enact the truth in the body of the enlightened beings. And the other part is to notice if there's any kind of seeking gain or profit or reward, any sense that there's some other happiness besides just doing this thing in and of itself.

[47:29]

and you probably will be able to find some of them. The Buddha found out those for a long time, and studied how they worked, and understood how they worked, and then understood the end of them. And that was his highest knowledge. And then, although that was his highest knowledge, then he could do his job as Buddha. Before that, he was not able to really work really efficiently to help people. He wanted to, and I think he'll want to, but until we tidy up, until we take care of ourselves this way and tidy up our activity so that we do things for the welfare of all beings without trying to get any And do it wholeheartedly, without trying to get anything.

[48:32]

Is there anything you'd like to talk about? Yes? Do you think that like all beings, like Jaya or your leader, Actually, you know, I'm not saying yes, but I do notice that they choose the abbot for A. A. G. Monastery, the head temple of the Soto Zen clan. They choose the oldest people to be the leaders. So maybe it is a good criteria to see somebody that's really old and sick.

[49:34]

But I think it's more like Choose somebody who's not intoxicated. And some young people are really sober because they don't forget. But it's true, it is a little easier in some ways for, on average probably, old sick people to maybe have an easier time remembering that they're subject to illness and die in death. and also that they're not young. They seem to kind of be aware of that. So they tend, if they're aware of that, to be sober. But as you know, some old people are trying, and part of our culture is to try to get them to try, to really try to get healthy again, get young again. So it isn't guaranteed that they'll be sober. But on average, probably, if you have a group of people, people to choose from, it's probably a little bit more likely that the old people will be more sober, unless they're alcoholics.

[50:39]

Anything else? Yes? How do you apply this to five to eight months, five to six months, or to five to eight months, or to eight to five years? This monk who I told you about at the beginning, one of the things he had problems about was to make announcements like . He didn't really agree with asking for money in that way. And also, part of the reason why he didn't really agree for asking money is because he doesn't like some of the ways that money is used. So anyway, so he had problems with how could asking for money be beneficial? Not just how could asking money for an organization want to be beneficial, but how could asking for money be beneficial?

[51:49]

So how do you apply that to that? Look at yourself. When you're asked to ask for money, or when you think of asking for money, look at yourself. What's going on with you? Check yourself out. Get settled in your own fear and your own greed, if there is any. Find out what's going on with you. Get settled with your own doubts and your own agitation, your restlessness, whatever. And then, in your concentrated space, maybe you can patiently, non-harmingly, ask for money. You might. But again, what is the story about Kadagiri Roshi? They were having a fundraising dinner, and he came to the fundraising dinner, and then he said, don't you people all realize you're going to die? Is that what he said? He spoke to make a fundraising speech or something, and he came and said, don't you people realize you're all going to die?

[52:52]

And he didn't say, so we'll make a donation. Now, I don't know his state of mind, but maybe he was like, maybe that's the way he felt good about asking for money, is to give that gift. So if you actually are asked to make an announcement to raise money for a Zen center or for a peace organization or whatever, something you think potentially could be helpful in the world, and it comes time to do it, you might go around the room and give people money. You might say, I don't have much, but I'd like to give it to all of you. And just let it go at that. not try to give them the money so that they will give money to the Zen Center, not to give them the money to gain something for the Zen Center, but to give them the money because you're devoted to them and you want to have a little money. You give them something because you want to, because you think you're devoted to them, but you don't do that.

[53:53]

Or you make an announcement asking them to give money, but you say that to them not to get them to give money. You say, would you please give money? But you don't say that to get them to give money. You say, I want you to do this, but you don't say that to get them to do it. You say it to give that to them. You say it, by that word, I want you to give money. That is what you're practicing. You're not doing that to get something. So why would you ask people to do something if you're not trying to get them to do it? That's grandmotherly art, is to ask people to do things without saying it in order to get them to do it. That's what it's like to say something to somebody to say something to somebody, rather than to say something to somebody to get something. That's no outflows. And when you talk to people that way, then you're beneficial. Yes?

[54:57]

Maybe what you're giving them is an opportunity You're giving them an opportunity? Yes. Yes. And making them feel that you're not trying to manipulate them. You're not asking them to do something to manipulate them into doing it. You're asking them to do something because you want to give that to them. You want them to know that you want them to give. They're not saying that to manipulate. And maybe they can feel that, and they say, wow, I want to do that too. And they might give something, but they might not give money, they might give something else. Like they might join the group, or whatever. Are we doing something to try to give something? Usually, yes. That's an outflow, that's suffering. Buddha ended that. Am I supposed to stop now? It's time for the appearance of influence. So do we let the children in now?

[56:04]

You can bow.

[56:05]

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