We ask you to consider our weakness. Help us to understand if many words should explain to me. There is only quite a word. It means all of them. And that is your son. And not where to stand. Well, this is the... I mean, unlike television, this is what we call prime time retreat warning session. 3.30 is not a good psychological moment for dealing with medial liberation. And the only nightmare about 3.30 is the adult period of anticipation at 4 o'clock. And the evening, of course, is just hello and goodbye. So I'd like to get into some pretty heavy stuff this morning, not heavy in the sense of dull, but heavy in the sense of critical.

[01:15]

I mentioned that pain, which is hopefully the primitive freedom. Freedom is for believing. or looking for the goods, which is another form of loving, finding the goodness in others. The other dimension of this is looking for goodness, being ready for goodness in the future. If there is otherness in other people, it is nothing compared to the otherness in the future. Strange. The unknown quality. The future is the great unknown. And it's meant to remain that way. It's a very important part of our religious experience, which is one reason why the Church has always been very fearful about fortune count.

[02:15]

Because it tries to take away the mystery of the future. No. To call the ambiguity of the future good before one knows that it is good is one of the primary expressions of faith. So, this is so true. One could almost say that, you know, how much you believe depends exactly and directly upon what you think about the future. Is it good? Is your life dominated by expectation, joyful expectation? Or is your life dominated by threat, danger, anxiety? Things are bad and get the worst. Day to get up in the morning. The only thing will be worse tomorrow. Well, it's not too far-fetched. Some people, I met a host of one time, one of the secretary, he said, I can hardly wait until the evening after my sleeping pill.

[03:18]

What a way to live. You hardly wait No. The Bible is future-oriented. The messianic nature of the Bible is not by any means restricted to the Old Testament. It only begins there. To be a Christian is to expect the Lord to come. Jesus has only begun to come The coming of Jesus is by no means complete. I would expect that maybe 20% of people, 25, perhaps, direct with heresy. So I doubt that these have come. And it says, you know, we Christians, we make a big mistake and say, well, Jesus has come. It doesn't matter now. Figured out what that means. No, Jesus is coming. God is coming constantly in Jesus. We have much more to share with the Jews than we think.

[04:22]

Looking ahead, expecting, awaiting the Messiah. Remember the first prayer of Christians ever said, come Lord Jesus. When we say, thy kingdom come, thy will be done. These are all future beyond. So, what do you think about the future? I recall when I met through the Exodus, it said, let my people go. that they may worship me or hold a pilgrim feast for me, literally, in the desert. I don't know if there is any word in the Bible that is more symbolic than the word desert. It certainly is not restricted to Sinai Peninsula, that's for sure. The desert, first of all, mid-bar, An equal word, does not mean the Gobi Desert, the Sahara Desert, the Mojave Desert.

[05:26]

No, its primary emphasis is not upon some dry, infertile land, that we understand desert, I think. No, it's a wide open space. The emphasis upon the fact that it has not been surveyed. It has not been domesticated. It is wild country. It is wilderness, which means men have not yet controlled this territory. And so in its symbolic meaning, it stands for God's country. God's country means country that men do not own, have not surveyed. Egypt is surveyed. Egypt is laid out in human thoughts. Egypt is documented by human wisdom and understanding streets and everything. Egypt, you know, the pharaoh knows everything's going on in Egypt. Men cannot control the desert.

[06:31]

And the whole prophetic tradition is involved here because the prophets have a unique affinity for the desert. Just kind of can we read Elijah of Tishmei. Where's Tishmei? Who's not? Who's in the desert? Who's in the desert? And when the king said to find Elijah, he'd never find him. He was always moving around, moving around. And the will of the wisp, Obadiah left the kind of thing. What am I going to do? Soon as I brought back the king, you will move something myself. This is symbolic. The prophet, like the desert, is uncontrolled. He's God's man. He represents God's mystery, God's freedom, God's sovereignty. So when it says, I shall let my people go to hold a feast for me in the desert, it means let them out of this carefully planned and humanly dominated situation, which is only body, that they may enter into my country and claim it for me in obedience, in worship.

[07:46]

gratitude, thanksgiving, and prayer. When you put this in the temporal mode, moving from the geographical to the temporal, which is the dominant mode of the Bible, dynamics, what's that? It's obvious that the desert is the future. What is more unknown, unsurveyed, wild, uncontrolled, than the future? It is God's effort. God will have the future. What then is the challenge given to Israel? You shall move from every past into a future and claim it for me. Letting the exodus happen tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. Not living in the past. Not turning your back on the future. Resisting the temptation to Flinging to the familiar.

[08:50]

Far from religious importation here. Because as they've been growing older, they tend to begin to live in the past. They couldn't do the scrapbook. Very, very faint. Not only is like life, but also spiritual. The furniture scrapbook. I'll put it to the shop. The scrapbook is living off husks. No, the future. Always, no matter how old one gets, the future is all that counts. Let my people grow for what purpose. They may freely choose to walk constantly into the future, growing in their sense of expectation, calling the future good regardless of how threatening it might be. Of course, with death working at the end of it, humanly speaking, it can become very good.

[09:55]

So that almost the hallmark of Christian faith is whether one can be joyful about the future in which death is inept. Especially demonic. You know, what I've said in this regard is true for all Christians and Israelites. And I will try to point out at the end of the day or tomorrow, but this is especially a witness of monks. Monks make it their professional job, I think, to bear witness the future. Future-oriented. Now, it's no wonder then that the Bible as a religious book, is dominated by the concept of church. Everybody's moving.

[10:59]

Abraham, at 75 years old, moving. Get in the west. Go west, old man. I wouldn't want to state the truth of that 75-year clock. Even with an old man, that's the point. An old man is tired. The funny part about it is, the Bible considers everything that happened in April and April up to his 75th birthday as insignificant. Unnecessary to record. Give all of us a little bit. I mean, these significant lines began at the 8% of God. Maybe if we're not 75 of you, no, I can't. Actually, the climax of his life when the Bible came at the age of 99, Isaac 4. The point is, regardless of whether those numbers are trustworthy, the point is that he was moving, changing constantly.

[12:03]

And it says in Exodus itself, chapter 12, verse 11, and you shall take staff in hand and put sandals on your feet and girt your loins and eat your Passover in haste. All of those things are for wayfarers, for people on a journey. This is not just how the Israelites shall prepare that night for their Passover. This is the man of faith. This is how he looks. Staffing hands, sandals on feet, loins girt, ready for the journey. And all through the Bible, there is a great distrust of anything that suggests the static, the temple. The prophet is very uneasy about the temple. Jeremiah, an article near, temple, glory, temple, glory, temple, glory. Do not trust in those people's words. Watch out, mate. Watch out. Alfred used to take his staff.

[13:06]

I don't know what the theme of the sermon was, but he would pile that staff on the board. Do not trust the people toward the temple of the Lord. The temple of the Lord. No. The temple passed away. And Jesus said, neither here nor on that other mountain. Will you worship me? The temple developed. Why? Because the temple was a panic soon. It's no good accident that the great theopany of Israel, great revelation of God to Israel, which occurred about Sinai, was never venerated by Israel as a place for a shrine or a temple. They never thought of going back to Sinai. But that was the place from which to go into the future, constantly moved, journeyed. Well, you know. And then, when you talk about journey, you're talking about going somewhere.

[14:09]

soon as you understand light in terms of a journey, a movement, you must deal with the goal, with the destination. There is no pilgrimage unless it's a shrine. The destination is the ultimate or radical future. The end of time. Yes, the time. And this is where God dwells. He is from this place this ultimate moment that God called man. To believe is to respond to that call. This is brought out as clearly as what the positive desire. In chapter 12, as you recall, the kind of definition of faith, which occurs in chapter 11, verses 1, faith, faith, hope, and so on. Then it goes on to describe all the great men of faith who give an illustration of what faith means.

[15:16]

Then it says this cloud of witnesses supports us and encourages us. Then in chapter 12, verse 2, it says, in this matter of faith, we must constantly look to Jesus, keep our eyes on Jesus, who is the pioneer and perfecter of our faith Pioneer, that's an interesting word for you. It means that he is the one who is ahead of us on the journey. He has gone into the future before us. He also calls us toward the future. He has left a paraclete to merge us on. Looking to Jesus, the pioneer, that perfecter of our faith, moved. For the joy that lay before him made blind of the cross, despising its shame, and is now seated at the right hand of God.

[16:24]

What a few texts I've written in Copernicus. For the joy that lay before him. It says in effect that what Jesus did in summary was to endure Well, suffering, cross, rejection, shame of the cross, not just suffering of it. He endured this. He made light of it. He found it easy in a certain sense. Why? Because it is a Spartan? Because he can take things? No. How is he met? Because there was the joy that lay before him. They come out. Because he had discovered that it was going home. The radical future is home. And then everything is transformed on the way.

[17:26]

Everything becomes tolerable. But I've got some place to go. I can see it on the horizon. Joy that lay before. I think St. Benedict, with his deep understanding of Scripture, is saying the same thing in the provost we call the text. If in the beginning things seem somewhat difficult, do not be fearful and so forth, repel, but persevere, and gradually, . unspeedible sweetness of love, you will begin to run in the way of God's commands. Well, this is what he's talking about. Hang in there. Keep looking. Keep searching that transcendent, that future, that unknown, that mystery.

[18:30]

Keep searching and it will suddenly open up to you and you will begin running toward it. And your dying will be coming home. arriving, to pay for them a happy death. There's an image that I think is useful in this regard. As faith becomes more influential in our lives, and of course we're always trying to grow in faith, like maybe a real guide of our lives, a real basis of our decisions, As faith becomes more dominant and prominent in our lives, this will be, I think, the manifestation of that. It will be like a child who walks for the first time. You know the situation, the scenario is well known.

[19:35]

We all have nephews and nieces. You know, one of his daddy decides to try to walk. He's walking already. He's been on the laundromat the other day. He asked, well, Johnny, get out of here. He's going to walk today. But Johnny's gone. He's been crawling like a storm recently. So they get to each side of the room. And one of the parents propel him to get with the other one. And you know how it happens. I'm looking at him. demonstrate this. But he starts off, you know, looking back, looking back to the parent who is closest. But at a certain critical moment, a little before halfway, probably, the child suddenly reaches out and runs toward the other parent. And they go, and I'll sit there. Johnny has fought. Of course, he's going to fall into space.

[20:38]

I'm convinced that this really determines whether we are comedians. We begin by looking back. We gather our confidence from the past. So some day, I come to a moment, somebody says, you know, you never were any good. You put me down. Put down hard for somebody. Well, you know, if I had any sensitivity at all, I kind of, you know. Pulled in a little bit, a little defensive. Then I'd go back to my groove. Not literally, but in effect, we missed. We'd go back, get on that round. Friend, you are one of the finest people in the world. There, there. Whatever you can do well, you can do it. Usually, I usually draw upon half the copy.

[21:42]

And even unconsciously, maybe Paul, is that true? Am I no good? No. Go back to your office and look around and see your typewriter. Oh, I'm telling you. No, I didn't want this stuff if I was no good. No, no, no, no. Well, I think that's a powerful thing. You always have to begin with some sense of accomplishment, of approval, and affirmation. I'm convinced that we haven't really been converted until the future becomes more important. We can say, oh no, I'm closer home than ever. You can't put me down anymore. I'm almost there. I would every day get closer. My everything will

[22:44]

running, first of all walking, and then beginning to, and then finally running toward that ultimate goal. I don't think this is something that ought to be preserved for saints. I think this ought to be the honest experience with Christian faith, that I think you can see immediately the implications of this for one of our great talkers today, which is old age. I forget what it was. 45,000 people in the West World, kind of over 65. That's what it is. Tremendous number of old people and sitting there trying to make some sense of this. All those, you know, 1,000, [...] 1 Christianity has very much to say about old age.

[23:46]

It's almost like saying, well, now all that unnecessary stuff, working and earning a way to stop it all over, and now we can do what we always were made for. Time for people and time for hope and time for prayer and time for joy to expect it. And if this is true of Christians generally, it is better to be true of one spirit. So much so, I think, I think it might not be that idea that just protecting old people in monasteries and college students, religious houses. If they aren't happy and joyful and expected, not necessarily, you know, they've got arthritis and whatnot. So that's basically folk folk. Then, I think it might be somebody else . Don't walk here and you know, something happened to our witness in Spain.

[24:50]

We can't turn out old people who are cheerful and joyful. I don't care how much we've done in those productive years. But this is what made me want to see. I have a personal experience illustrating this. I mean, probably When I was here in high school, the first couple of years, it was pretty rough, especially in the first year. And I recall, I felt the same way when I was going home, it was mostly the student. And I get on the train here, and they throw to walk the press. Oh, no, a few freight trains. But there were a fair number of passenger trains. And if you ever made that trip, you will know it's not the end of the lean valley of Switzerland. He made scenic wonders of the world. Well, that's not too bad yet.

[25:51]

Eight miles, no, the next 12 miles, Bethlehem Steel. He'd be assigned, he'd say, next 12 miles, Bethlehem Steel. That was the back end of Bethlehem Steel. All that stuff was running into the river. And then up through the mountain floors, even summer hills. Well, it's not bad country, but especially in the fall and winter, You know, a lot of coal, heat, swag, heat, and stuff. But I tell you, they took the press and were going home. I mean, they had some pretty jewels along the way. It would not have been more deep. I mean, it was absolutely just outstanding, you see. I mean, I could never understand why, coming back the other way, things looked so drab. That's terrible. Worse than reality. Well, I think, you know, we know what this means. The point is, one has no expectation.

[26:51]

One has no desire for this goal. One has not been able to build up and develop a yearning for this ultimate home. Then the whole journey of life, of course, could cause these strategies. And so, how I feel about the present is determined largely by how I feel about the future. The present is governed in many ways by the future. Do I hit an expectation? Or am I dominated by anxiety? I'm trying to get the most out of today because I'm sure tomorrow will be worse. So, goodness gives the future. But then there is goodness in God. We'll be talking about this all the time by name. God is more unknown, more mysterious than any other person, of course, even the most mysterious person.

[28:02]

And certainly more unknown and mysterious than the future. He is the great unknown one, the great free and sovereign one. The one who in no way can be controlled by us. And if we are dealing with this true God, as opposed to some idol, it's possible, of course, to have a handicapped God, put a vicar around his neck. Life for us, God. Sometimes the blood of statues, which we have felt over the years, reduce God to this very familiar figure, which is not God. God must begin as a terrible, sovereign, unknown being, that potentially the most threatening of all beings. That's true God. He must deal with sovereignty of God, too. Well, if we could call him good, and discover him as good, and even discover him as father,

[29:10]

and the center of home, the home which is far better than any of these meager earthly experiences which we call home. Then we can begin to understand how faith constantly opens up our lives. Constantly makes the future brighter because God has this ultimate future. God becomes He asked us about surprise in life. I wonder if you've noticed how notoriously bad our images of heaven are. Heaven is very important to reality. And yet, the image of heaven are the best childhood, should I think, in some cases. Hey, talk about the one reading nights. Heaven is all that luxury. Well, I'm proud of them.

[30:11]

I think there's a very common opinion around that, you know, all your fathers will be there waiting for you, stomping around the quad. That's a little idiomess. And then the other image, which is even worse, is the monastic choir. That's heaven. I'm going to complain. I've had enough back here. I think the images of heaven are so bad. It's so childish because heaven is, by definition, surprise.

[31:20]

Because it is the very nature of heaven not to be subject to imagery, not to be subject to control of our concepts. It is surprise. It is the ultimate gift. And the essence of gift, of course, is surprise. The interesting thing about this, although you're trying to describe it too, I just think it's impossible. But there is an interesting consequence of this. I think one can logically prove, therefore, that only those people will go to heaven, be saved. Only those people will go to heaven and be saved who have learned to be surprised. would use this opportunity to develop their ability to be surprised. Why? Why? I suspect the world won't go to the same place.

[32:21]

And some will see the surprise, and like it, but none of it won't. And they'll call that the other age. Some won't like it, and some won't. I don't think that's something going to be different. But I just think what that means. That means that I fuck off with a boy trying to take people, trying to say, I got that guy figured out. I got my wife figured out. She couldn't do anything like that. She never surprised me to go anywhere. My husband couldn't surprise me. I mean, you're not. Oh, I know exactly what you're doing. You have to predict. That's what I told you. Well, you know, we can control each other by expectation. And we can gradually convince people that they can't do any more than we expect them to do. And then we get with control. That's terrible, pharaonic, sinful thing to do.

[33:25]

Now, the fact of that whole thing about the mystery-ledded person. Well, they're surprised everywhere. I have no idea. In people especially, but in things too. It's good in getting better every day. God is good in getting better every day. Everything is good. And so, one is open to surprise. In people, always expecting them to do better than even they think they can do. Always expecting things to be better than they seem to be, more promising than evidently indicating. What one has become filled with this sense of surprise? What becomes like a child, full of wonder?

[34:28]

And the kingdom of heaven is holy or chill.

[34:32]

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