Ready to go? Everybody still in the wilderness? I want to read a, to begin, read a verse from Psalm 23, which probably worldwide is the most favorite psalm of Christians. And I think one reason it is, it's very, it's got beautiful imagery, but also one of these verses is a sort of capsule of the biblical wilderness theme, even though I walk in the valley of darkness, I fear no evil, for you are with me. That is the story, even though I walk in the valley of darkness, I fear no evil, for you are with me. And I guess you know the famous words with Dante when he begins the Divine Comedy, it begins in the dark wood, which is in the middle of the wilderness. The key to making it through the wilderness, of course, is to have a guide.

[01:06]

And the virtue that's necessary to stay with the guide, especially a guide that you can't see, is what the New Testament tells us again and again. Jesus Himself, Paul, is the virtue of faith. Faith is the core. of being able to walk confidently through. I find that the word faith, like the word desert, is too heavy. That when you say the word faith, you don't necessarily have a meeting of minds because the word is used in so many different ways. For example, today at Mass we professed our faith But what we did was recited a list of the doctrines that we believe in. So it was a... when we recited our faith, it was about something. But in the Gospels, when Jesus tells someone, go in faith, your faith has saved you, or no, go, your faith has saved you, that isn't what it means at all.

[02:26]

It means it means somehow faith in someone and so the word that i find more more helpful uh... in this context is the word trust because trust is is in someone you don't trust in something except like uh... if you going across a bridge you trust that uh... that it's going to hold you up you might trust in something to that extent but basically uh... To get through the wilderness. It isn't a matter of understanding something Or of knowing the doctrine. It's a matter of trusting someone and as we all know from our own lives There are people if we trust someone if we have grown if we have grown into a position of trust with someone That person can do things. We don't understand And we don't need an explanation because we've learned that we can trust that that person knows what he's doing.

[03:28]

And ideally that's the way that people in community, in marriage, live with one another, that they trust one another. But even, you know, in any community there are people that you trust more than others. Their record leads you to believe that if they, whatever they're doing, is okay. And there are others that you need to have a second opinion. But the Lord doesn't say, you know, be a good theologian and you'll make it through the wilderness. He says, have faith. Trust me. Stick with me. And you don't need to know why this is happening. there are a number of uh... of extravagant biblical stories which uh... illustrate this and one of the most extravagant is this one in first king seventeen is the story of Elijah and the widow of Zarephath you know uh... they were having a famine and Elijah was told to go see this widow

[04:31]

As he arrived at the entrance of the city, a widow was gathering sticks there. He called out to her, please bring me a small cup full of water to drink. She left to get it, and he called out after her, please bring along a bit of bread. As the Lord your God lives, she answered, I have nothing baked. There is only a handful of flour in my jar, a little oil in my jug. I was just collecting a couple of sticks to go in and prepare something for myself and my son. When we have eaten it, we shall die." So she has absolutely nothing, and here comes Elijah asking for something for himself. Now, she knows Elijah's a prophet, and that's the key to the story. He's speaking for God. "'Do not be afraid,' Elijah said to her. "'Go and do as you propose.' But first, make me a little cake and bring it to you. Then you can prepare something for yourself and your son."

[05:34]

Now if this were not the kind of story it is, if this were not the story that it is, you would think somebody ought to slap him right there for doing what he's doing. But he knows what he's doing. The Lord is leading him. For the God of Israel says, the jar of flour shall not go empty, nor the jug of oil run dry until the day when the Lord's sins reign upon the earth." So she left and did as Elijah had said, and she has nothing to go on except that she trusts Elijah to be a prophet of God. So she trusts God that this will be all right. And so As she left and did as Elijah had said, she was able to eat for a year, and he and her son as well. The jar of flour did not go empty, nor the jug of oil run dry, as the Lord had foretold through Elijah." This is encouraging trust in the Lord.

[06:35]

Now, when you read a story like that, you say, why? Why put her through something like that? Why be so uncharitable? And when you take the larger picture, you say, why are we, why do we have to be in the wilderness? Why does it have to be that way? Why does the way to the promised land go through the wilderness? Why doesn't it go over the top? Why doesn't it go around? Why isn't there some smooth way? Why is the Lord doing this to us? And as you know, whenever, in the story of Exodus, whenever the people start suffering, they immediately say, Moses hates us, Aaron hates us, and God hates us. And God has brought us out here only to put us to death. And so the blame immediately goes, God hates us, that's why He's doing this.

[07:38]

But in the whole context, that's not in it at all. Everybody is in a wilderness and there are times when all of us have anxieties we have decisions to make when we don't have the the Wisdom to make them or we don't have the we've got to do something. We don't have a material. We're put in a crunch the wilderness is necessary because God wants us to choose him freely and If we didn't have the wilderness if we just cruised into the kingdom we would simply be going because it's the gravy train. So we need the wilderness. I've sometimes used this example with my community. We're the only animal created by God in this world that has a choice. Every other animal, insect, organism, as soon as it is born or emerges, is finished.

[08:47]

It's complete. It will be what it's going to be. You don't have cows with different levels of maturity. They might have different habits, but they're all always going to act like a cow. They don't have a choice. So I asked the monks one time, what would you say to me if, I said, when I was a little boy, my dad Sometimes when I would get into trouble, which of course was very rare, would say, straighten up and be a man. Now, what would you say if I would go down to the hog barn and see the pigs messing around down there and pull one of those pigs aside and say, look, straighten up, be a pig. See, I was crazy. Well, I would be crazy. The pig has no choice. The pig can only be a pig. But my dad was not crazy because I have a choice. I can be a pig or a man. I can be something that I'm not right now, or I can be what I'm supposed to be. I have a choice. The reason for the wilderness is to give us a choice.

[09:52]

to choose God freely, maybe against the odds, in the midst of suffering, when the only thing that you say, I trust God, even though I can't see how it's going to work out. I can only put my trust in God. And there's a big literature on this. Gregory the Great has a famous saying about why do we suffer. He says, by a secret judgment we are subjected to frequent disturbance. So that we do not have more love for the journey than for the destination. We don't like the trip. We like the trip better than we like where we're going. And so we don't have to choose. He says, when travelers are charmed by the beauty of the journey, their steps are slowed. And so in the wilderness you find an oasis. Well, the oasis is not the promised land. You've got to move on. The Muslims, I think this is a Sufi saying, have this, maybe it's from, I don't know where it's from, but it's a saying attributed to Jesus.

[11:01]

It's not in the Bible. It's a very good saying. The world is a bridge. Pass over it, but do not build your house on it. It's that idea, keep moving, and the struggle keeps us dissatisfied. St. Augustine, you fill all things with troubles so that human beings may, in time of trouble, have recourse to you instead of being seduced by delights and false security. And the letter to the Hebrews, which has this theme, especially in chapter 12, says, "...our fathers disciplined us, as seemed right to them, to prepare us for this short span of mortal life. But God does it for our true prophet, that we may share his holiness." So it's an act of love.

[12:02]

And that, of course, is a long tradition, too, that the cross is a gift from God and the wilderness. and holiness is necessary, strive for peace with all men for that holiness without which no one can see the Lord." So, in other words, God wants us to be with Him, but we can only be with Him if we make a free choice. We can only make a free choice if we're forced to. If we're forced to, in the midst of things that we don't like, say, God knows what He's doing, God loves me, God is my shepherd, and I will go forward. It releases me from going there, for example, by instinct. No, I have to go there by choice. There's a church in Arkansas not a Catholic church, that I saw this, you may have seen it up here somewhere, on a church marquee outside, it said, When you are down to nothing, God is up to something.

[13:12]

Another real beautiful text is in Job 36, 15. God delivers the afflicted by their afflictions. He opens their ear by adversity. This fits into the whole tradition of listening to the Lord. St. Benedict, of course, listened, but he opens their ear by adversity. You can't hear God if everything is always going your way. And we know that, Jesus says, it's easier for a camel to pass through a needle's eye than for a rich man to enter the kingdom. Again, it's not because riches are bad in themselves, it's because they close our ears, they close our eyes. We're satisfied, we settle down, and we don't have to move forward. And we begin to love the journey more than the destination, the surroundings more than the one who made them.

[14:18]

Trust is the way through. You don't need to know the way, because I know the way. And I am with you. What you need is to know me. So the way to get through the wilderness is to know God. and that's the relationship, that's the transforming relationship that we all desire, to know God. And that's why we're in the monastery, especially, is to know God. So God says, you don't need to know the way. If you know me, you know the way. And Jesus said, I am the way. Hebrews has some really beautiful texts in this whole area. There's one in Hebrews 11, 27, which says, and this i think is exactly a monastic concept by faith moses left egypt not fearing the king's wrath for he persevered as if he were looking on the invisible god very very powerful i think a monastic uh... aspiration

[15:34]

to be constantly looking on the invisible God, and that giving you the courage to keep going, keep moving on. By faith, by trust, Moses left Egypt. So Egypt was a safe place, even though it was a place of slavery. God told Moses, it's going to be better out there than it is in here. The people kept wanting to go back to Egypt because they didn't believe. They thought it was going to be better to be in a safe slavery than in an unknown promised land. But he kept looking on the invisible God and moving on. Now, there are false ways to deal with the wilderness, and the next thing I want to do is to move away from exactly the text of Scripture to some interpretation of the way we live this, or we don't live, this spirituality, the challenges.

[16:37]

There are many challenges And we see them in ourselves and we certainly see them in the world every day. False ways to react to the fact that we're walking in the wilderness. And I've just picked out four for a little bit of commentary. Four ways are denial, escape, control, and blame. Now the way of denial is to either say there is no wilderness and it'll change any minute to what it's supposed to be or more likely the wilderness is a mistake and certainly it's a mistake for me or I have been cheated and it makes you blind because you say I'm the only one that has a wilderness.

[17:38]

Why me? And the big words in this type of denial are, if only. If only I had had a degree in monastic theology, I would be a better monk. If only I were someone else, if I had better looks, or if I was born in a different place, or my dad had more money, or my car didn't have bad tires, or something. Everything would, there's always an if only. The wilderness would not exist for me and I would be, I would be much happier and on a good path. And everyone else has good luck but me. Why is the other person's path always easier? All this denial. I've done an independent survey and I found out that where most Americans find themselves in the wilderness, is when they get into the wrong checkout line. They immediately think, everybody is better off than me.

[18:44]

How did this happen to me? And begin cursing the person in front of them. You probably have read the book by Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled. And that book is, of course, it was a bestseller for many years and maybe still is. But one thing that made it a bestseller was what it said right at the beginning. The first sentence was, life is difficult. And then he went on to say, the reason that I have said this as my first sentence is that most people believe that life is easy, but they got cheated. And he said that distorts the whole thing. No, life is difficult. And you have to cope with it. And the Bible is very clear about that. Talking about the wilderness on the cross, life is difficult. But then, it gives you the way to make it through.

[19:48]

Another thing that Scott Pegg said was this, the truth will set you free, but first it will make you damn mad. There's a saying by J.D. Salinger, anyone in this country over 21 without an ulcer is a spy. And then there's this one from the spiritual tradition. This is St. Francis de Sales to St. Jane de Chantal in one of their letters. Apparently Jane had been complaining about something to Francis. And Francis says this, and it's pretty low cut here. Yes, he says, you're willing to accept the cross as long as it is the one you select. Of course, I think we can all see ourselves in that. So the denial, there's an escape, the way of escape, is trying to find a way around the wilderness or put it off. And the You know, the evident ways of doing that are to take side trips with drugs or alcohol.

[20:57]

A lot of times it's somebody else is the reason why I'm in the wilderness. And so if I could only get rid of that person, it might be my job. You have to know what it is. It might be true and it might be false, but a lot of times people make the solution, if only I would get rid of this partner in marriage, my life would be better. Or if only I would move to another region. Drawing on the whole intellectual moral tradition, here's one from Marcus Aurelius. The reason for much suffering is the inability to accept one's place in the whole. Also, there's the danger of making yourself the reason for it all, and this is called the syndrome of making yourself the center of the universe, that everything that happens is because of me. If that monk walks down the hall and doesn't greet me, it's because he's angry at me.

[22:03]

Well, it may be. He may be thinking of something else. He may not have even seen you. It may not have anything to do with you at all. but there is a type of uh... disease in this area where everything that happens is somehow because of me and i have to to corrected uh... in this way of uh... of uh... escape one way of escape is to stay where you are and don't move find a safe place in your life and stay there is the oasis complex I've gone far enough What does God expect? It's kind of like You know getting over there getting so far into the wilderness or getting across the sea and just just sort of walking up and down Pray an office or something, you know not going anywhere You're afraid to move and safe. And so I'm gonna stay here and then you'd say What does God expect?

[23:05]

Well, the fact is God expects us to make it through the wilderness trusting in him St. Bernard says, on the way to God, standing still is going backward. There's a... Cardinal Newman says that So our job here in this world is to learn to speak the language of heaven, to learn to live the life of heaven. In other words, heaven to us right now is our goal, but we're not ready for it. Sort of like heaven being a foreign land that we have to prepare for. We're more at home here. And so he said, our time here is to learn how to speak the language of heaven, and if by some chance we would get to heaven and not know the language of heaven, the way of thinking, have the values of heaven, heaven would be hell for us. We would feel completely hell at ease.

[24:09]

There's a short story by Mark Twain. He's not very well known, but I was put onto this story because it has this kind of idea. It's called Captain Stormfield Goes to Heaven, and it's the story of a sailor, a San Francisco sailor, who by some accident, or he made it to heaven, but he got in the wrong door, and you know how Mark Twain wrote, and so everything goes wrong for him. He can't find the place he's supposed to be, the angels don't have him on their list, on their register, and so he goes up and he's, look, he said, I'm bound to be there, and they said, well, what's your name, and he tells them, and they said, where are you from, and he said, well, he said, now this was sent you to San Francisco, everybody knows San Francisco, and they're looking, he says, is that some galaxy? No. And so eventually, he's never at home, he's ill at ease, he can't settle down, and eventually he can't find anybody who speaks English.

[25:13]

So that's the deal, he doesn't know the language. And one of the angels finally says, is there anybody here, anybody from the earth, that speaks English. I'd at least feel home that way. Yes, there is. So the angel said, I'll take you right to him. So he takes him over and brings him to Chaucer's group. So he's just as bad off as before. Another way of of dealing with the wilderness, a false way is control. This is a very big way and certainly today with the stock market, you know, with the economy booming, it's a main way to control the wilderness, is to buy enough property or power or possession and to sort of wall yourself in or try to pave your way through. but the problem is you don't know which way is through and so you wind up eventually uh... up against more wilderness it works for a while but we don't know the way and eventually we're lost no matter how much we have of this world's power or money or possession uh... but it's been said that that uh... that uh... in this kind of uh... struggle it's sort of like your your arm wrestling with the lord

[26:33]

You think you might win. The Lord knows he's going to win. And the sooner you let him win, the happier you are because you realize who's the master. But eventually God does win and eventually, if you live, you're going to always, always have to die. but often before that time, there's gonna be diminishment in terms of health or tragedy or loss. And if you can see that there's no hope here, the hope is with the Lord, you can make it. Now, with control, religious can play the control game by making a career of the call. and of deciding, maybe by playing the ropes correctly, exactly what I'm going to do for God, instead of having God decide what I'm going to do for God. Deciding how far I'm going to go, and the refrain is, and you have to be very careful of this refrain, because it takes a lot of prayer to know this is true, the refrain is, I'm doing this for the Lord.

[27:45]

We have to be very careful we're not doing it or the Lord, who is ourselves, doing it for the Lord. And one of the dangerous signs of this is if you start telling the superior, the Lord told me not to take that assignment. It's a kind of a dangerous dilemma to get in. It may be true, but often it's that you told yourself. But eventually we all have to relinquish the control We need to give it up, take our hands off the handlebars, and trust in the Lord. In my dealings with Al-Anon, I've discovered this thing that the only thing I can control, that I can control, is my own attitude. I can't control the future, the weather, the stock market, other people's actions, other people's motives, but I can control my attitude.

[28:46]

If my attitude is one of trust in the Lord, then I'll make it through. And the first step in AA is to admit your powerlessness over alcohol. The first step in the gospel is to admit your powerlessness over everything. You know, the first beatitude is, blessed are the poor in spirit, and you can re-translate that as, has been done, is happier those who know they are in need all the time. That God will fill that need, but I have to admit it, give up, because trust unlocks the door to freedom, and that's the point. God does not want automatons in the kingdom. He could bring all of the animals into the kingdom as He did in the ark. He could bring us all in. But in heaven, heaven is only composed of free beings.

[29:48]

And you can only be free if you have made a choice of what you're going to do with your life, and you can only have a free choice if you've had obstacles that you've had to give yourself up and place your faith in the Lord. we also besides that some twenty three you know every day we uh... we pray the benedictus and the benedictus has that has that thing in there too it's like a capsule god the day spring shall visit us in mercy to shine on those who sit in the day in the darkness and the shadow of death which is where we are sit in the darkness in the shadow of death and guide our feet into the way of peace through the wilderness to the promised land And so it's good to hear that every day. We had a psalm today and I can't remember which one it was that did it again, said it again in a little bit different way. I will be with you here and now when somebody doesn't understand you, when somebody spits in your face, when somebody backs into your car and leaves, when you've just had a diagnosis of terminal cancer,

[30:59]

when you've had an accident and you won't be able to walk again I will be with you and eventually you'll be free if you accept me now there's comfort in knowing the wilderness and there's comfort in knowing the cross up front so that when it comes up if we really believe it, it won't be a surprise we may not like it but we know that this is the way God meant it and it's very consoling to know that our suffering is part of the plan in order to free us for the journey the uh... the disciples nobody ever likes this uh... you know in the in the gospels especially synoptic gospels uh... jesus comes to this this place Caesarea Philippi and says who do you say that i am and they say peter says speaking for all them you are the messiah And then Jesus said, well, this is what that means.

[32:08]

I'm going to go to Jerusalem and be mocked and scourged and spit upon and put to death. And Peter says, no way. He calls him Satan. And then he said, besides that, if you want to follow me, you've got to go the same way. So it's not a deception. He says it right out. Now, in the first part of that journey, first part of that ministry is in Galilee. where, by and large, they're very successful. Jesus is successful. People are clamoring to him, coming to him, and the disciples share in the popularity and the success. But that comes that moment when he has to wean them away from that and say, if you're going to go to Jerusalem with me, you have to realize this is not going to stay like this. This is to get people into the struggle. And we all know that the spiritual journey which all of us have experienced is that we have, when we begin this journey, when God is drawing us in, we have many experiences of closeness, of nearness, of sweetness.

[33:16]

And this gets us, draws us, it woos us, it excites us, and we want what that is. But then, we have plenty of experience of the coldness, the darkness, where this all, we can't bring that up anymore. We can't create the same conditions. Oh, if I just go to that part of the chapel and sit there at that time of the day, I'll feel good again. You can't do it. The Lord will give you surprises of joy, of closeness, but you can't control it. And once you realize that the way to God is not just one wave of bliss after another, but that you've got to choose God for that ultimate bliss, then you can start making the journey, but it's going to be through the wilderness. So we're on the journey. We know well by experience that it is this kind of journey.

[34:25]

But the great gift that we have is that we have the Word of God, we have the tradition of all kind of spiritual leaders, spiritual giants, all the way down that keep telling us, this is the way it is, there's a way through, you have to do this and that, you have to mainly trust in the Lord. We just have to keep reminding ourselves, and the way to stay on the journey is every day to try to know the Lord. Every day to come back into the presence of the Lord. Every day to pray. Every day to listen. Every day to just bare ourselves and prostrate ourselves interiorly before God and let God take over. and that will give us trust. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and shall be, for ever and ever.

[35:35]

Amen. You haven't got there yet. Yeah, I'm going to do that tonight. I didn't want to get going too long on this. I'll get there. What was that quotation from, Gerald, again? The verse? Okay, let me get the... It's, um... Well... Somebody may have taken it down. 3615. Gerald, 3615. Yeah. It's rather strange. Somebody, one translation, says he opens their eye It says he opens their ear by adversity. But one translation says he opens their eye. And I looked that up and I found out, I don't know why they translate that, because in the text it does say he opened their ear. But I think either one is true. Yeah, we'll get to blame tonight.

[36:39]

Because if we don't get to blame, then we'll get to guilt. Because I didn't do it. that I didn't get to where I said. Another problem with all the good things is there's always a pseudo. Somehow we get hooked. A pseudo, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we... Well, you know, life is very joyful, but if you start banking on that, it's always going to be joyful. There's nothing... just had an example here uh... when this happens continually all over the place right before thanksgiving uh... there's a man and his wife and family very fine tremendously beautiful man in his family and uh... live actually in the town of subiaco catholic uh... very positive joyful person healthy about fifty five years old he goes to see the doctor he's got a pain in his back

[37:42]

It turns out, by how we're built, he's got cancer of the esophagus, and it's already spread so much that the doctor says you have the most six months to live, and this guy's been healthy until that moment. And right now, he has just come back home after many treatments and they've given up on him and he may last this week, you know. But again, what's it all about? It's just makes you come right up in front of you. There's no way they can't do anything for him. So you say, well, the life doesn't make sense. Well, it does make sense. according to this, but only in this way. Because if you think it's going to be a glory road all the way through, then of course it won't make sense. But I love this verse, as I said, from Hebrews 11.27 says, by faith, by trust, Moses left Egypt. This powerful imagery, left Egypt, not fearing the king's wrath, for he persevered as if he were looking on the invisible God.

[38:52]

I think a very monastic approach.

[38:55]

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