to you for this practice period and for your intuitive understanding of practice and willingness to give up your, what most people consider ordinary pursuits, and practice in this way here. For me, I feel some great opportunity. Practice, our practice is a gift. Although we view ourselves as the macrocosm, our feelings

[01:18]

and perceptions and experience as the world, not as some trick the world played on us. Although we view ourselves in that way, we don't view practice exactly like that. Practice is something bigger than us, something that is a gift, something that includes everyone, something that you have to keep giving away. You have to keep returning it to your teacher, returning it to your friends, to the Sangha, to Buddha, and starting over again. If you

[02:21]

treat practice as something you've always had, as your possession, your practice will always, at best, unravel your own personal problems. As Suzuki Roshi said, our practice is to be one with others, how to feel others as ourselves, see others as ourselves, without any difference. As long as you're trying to live for yourself or

[03:32]

trying to live happily, there's no protection. You'll always be in danger, and everything will scare you. Practice will scare you, other people will scare you. But when you truly see that there's no protection, you can give up and be satisfied with the little we can do for each other. And there's very little we can do.

[04:42]

Sometimes we say in Buddhism, the absence of signs. One of the absence of signs is we don't know when we're going to die, or how we're going to die, or in what place, whether it'll be in the morning or afternoon, or in our hometown or at Tassajara or on the street. And we don't know whether it'll be by accident or disease, or whether it will be this month, or when we're quite old. So although your whole body is hands, even 99% isn't enough. To see things as they are, you have to view them from the point of view of death. You're almost

[06:27]

like a person who's about to die, values a last conversation with someone, or some flower on his table. As long as you view life from the point of view of protecting it, of thinking there's some protection, you're involved in attainment and suffering, and begrudging everything without any humility. So your death is nothing more than the dissolution of the five skandhas, form,

[07:41]

healing, perception, impulses, consciousness. But as we say in Buddhism, the vigilant can observe the dissolution of the five skandhas and view everything from the point of view of death, and accept everything as a gift, giving up past and future, and finally giving up the present, resting in even-mindedness. But before you can rest in even-mindedness, you have to balance

[08:42]

your nature. And many questions that came up in this sasheen were about looking for some way to get rid of desires, or to start practice, or to have willpower, or to make a decision. And when you examine Buddha's teaching, he doesn't have much to say about this point except things like, pluck up your courage, rouse your energies. That's all. No special teaching. But the teaching also gives us many exercises, kind of exercises, to widen our, open up our closed off,

[10:09]

way of being. So, if you have sensed desires, you say, impede the sense desires by a contemplation of the dangers of sense desires. If you feel hatred, practice sympathetic joy. And how to practice sympathetic joy? He says, start with a friend first, that's easiest. So you take some person you feel pretty good about, and you practice sympathetic joy. You rouse yourself to imagine some sympathetic feeling, some joyful feeling, taking pleasure yourself in his or her

[11:32]

pleasure. And if they're going through a bad period, you remember their good times. You think, without telling them even, oh, they used to be, and soon they will be. In that way, the teachings say, we should rouse sympathetic joy for a person. And when you're with them, you should make them feel confident, and make them remember for themselves their best opportunities and sides. And after you have some

[12:34]

experience with doing that, so you can rouse sympathetic joy for someone, and practice with someone that way. Then you take someone you don't like so well, and you, again, rouse sympathetic joy. Then you choose an enemy, somebody you really... I read some French, Rémy Desgoncourt, I can't pronounce French very well, that guy, and he said, sometimes you meet a person whose soul is so desiccated, whose sap so doesn't rise, or something like that, being with them is like chewing a dry blotter. Anyway, you pick somebody you feel that way about, and then you rouse sympathetic joy. Oh, how wonderful it is to chew dry blotter. Anyway, I'm being a little silly, but,

[13:52]

you know. But then there are dangers of sympathetic joy, dangers of being caught by the good feelings. So, practicing even-mindedness is best. And if you, you know, it's interesting, courage is, lack of courage is sometimes defined as fear that you will be unable to personally serve a Buddha if you meet one. Isn't that interesting, the definition of lack of courage? That when you have your chance, you know, you won't know how to, or will have too much pride or fear to take the opportunity.

[15:01]

So, we try to balance our nature. With this kind of exercise. We can say our practice in the beginning is something like the practice of cessation, to cease.

[16:35]

And what Dogen calls to think non-thinking, in the Sixth Patriarch, talks about in various ways too. So, in older texts it's referred to as correct thinking, to return to the correct thought, to abide in the correct thought, which means the thought that all things are only mind. So, when your mind wanders, you bring it back to the thought that the very thoughts that are wandering are only mind. But this practice, sometimes you can call the practice of cessation, produces sometimes a kind of laziness almost, a sloth.

[17:40]

So, the practice, the antidote to that, or the wider practice, is the samadhi of suchness, seeing everything just as it is and responding to everything just as it is. Thank you very much. Two things I wanted to tell you.

[18:57]

One is that Pablo Picasso died. Maybe you know, because I told some people yesterday. Anyway, he died two days ago. Ninety-something, painting 400,000 pictures. Anyway, I feel we should do the noon service for him in our feeling room. And also that Mumon Roshi asked us if he could have a picture of this zenda and of us sitting. We don't have any picture. If you want to give him a picture of yourself sitting, you'll have to pose. So, after lecture, if you're willing and you want to have him have a picture of you sitting to show people in Japan, it's your decision.

[20:06]

Such things are actually rather helpful. I know Suzuki Yoshi brought pictures and tape recordings of our chanting and pictures of us sitting back to Japan every trip, because they didn't really believe it. No matter what you say, hardly just Japanese people are very visual and tactile. So the information is realer for them that way. But it's just hard to believe that anything actually exists out there, called America, and that they practice Buddhism. I mean, really very difficult to believe. When Suzuki Yoshi would talk and they'd listen and say, oh, that's very nice, and Suzuki Yoshi, they'd say, yes, it's very nice that you're doing that in the provinces, but when are you going to come home to the real thing? And then Suzuki Yoshi would put on the tape recorder and we'd all be going, kanji, zaipo, and it just would amaze them.

[21:23]

So I think if Momonoshi is going to talk to people about coming here, or coming to the West, you know, to Mexico, where he plans to retire in a year or two, to the West, I think he wants to say, oh, this is... I really don't have much to say. I just wanted to say at the end of this practice period that I hope you, I want you to stay with your practice. I think Momonoshi's view of us as real monks, not just Americans practicing Buddhism for a while, is the correct one.

[22:38]

And I think we have an actual, now real, opportunity to realize Buddha's way here. And I want to continue practicing with you. That's all I wanted to say. Is there anything you want to talk about? Could you hear what she said? She said she wondered if I would say more about lack of courage and fear of being unable to serve a Buddha. But in this moment, she says that I'm not a Buddha.

[24:04]

I don't really have anything I can say. You don't really have positive qualities, you have negative qualities. What I mean is that you can get rid of, your courage is there, but various things interfere. And I think there's no way except to realize what your actual situation is, that there's

[25:06]

absolutely no place to hide, that there's no alternative, that there's no real place of protection, that you're completely alone. No one is really going to help you, and all you really can do is help others. Maybe someone will help you, but it will be unexpected, some kind of gift like practice, and not what you think you need, but what you actually need. So there's not much we can say except to realize our condition. You know, we say, our life is like drawing a line in water with a stick.

[26:15]

Our deeds are like drawing a line in water with a stick. You know, we say, our life is like drawing a line in water with a stick. Until you can see things from their true perspective, you have to practice with exercises, increasing

[27:30]

sympathetic joy, countering hatred, or anger, or sense desires, you know. And the other day in Chosang, in Chosang ceremony, I said, talking about relationships, maybe a simpler way of expressing it is that relationships without knots are best. The more knotted your relationships are, the more problem you have. But knots are perfectly okay if you experience them, maybe like the illustrations for tying knots in books, you know, great big loops, it says they go this way and that way, and it's not pulled very tightly together, and it's very easy to see how it comes apart.

[28:31]

If you view, if you can see relationships and be in relationships like that, with that kind of space, then you can have as many knots as you'd like. You can fly around between them. Sometimes I think if I use my positive push and courage, it will all come tumbling down around me. If you use your positive... If I use the positive push and courage, it will all come tumbling down around me. Well, that's incredible. And not doing anything, just to let it happen.

[29:34]

It's like the positive push of courage to practice. When you suddenly see that that is based on a fear of things tumbling down, then there's another courage involved of letting go of the positive push of courage. You understand? But you have to be careful. Go ahead. I interrupted you. By the way, when I... Mel has told me that when I sit this way with the cushion back here and my robe sticking out over my cushion, I look like the Sphinx. So when I look at Mel, I think of the riddle of the Sphinx. It's funny, you know. The rest of you don't see it that way.

[30:41]

Huh? Go ahead. Yeah. I have actually... Could you perhaps say something about the relationship between the point of view that the sun is an entity and what you just said about the samadhi of touching and empathizing? What relationship do you see between the three? I'm not quite sure, but I see some relationship between the samadhi of touching and empathizing. And it seems...

[31:44]

I mean, indulgence? You mean the samadhi of suchness is an excuse for indulgence? No, that's not what I said. I said it seems like an indulgence. Yeah, that's what I meant. It seems like an indulgence. Not an excuse for an indulgence. It seems like an indulgence itself. Oh, the samadhi of suchness seems itself like an indulgence. That's what my question is. I don't think it... If you... The samadhi of suchness can't be an indulgence. You could use it as an excuse to indulge yourself, saying, Ah, this is the samadhi of suchness. Okay. But that just means you've given up the yoke of practice too soon. Of course I have.

[32:51]

A few days ago, you mentioned about... You answered my question about listening to lectures as absorbing a lecture. Quite a few people like to listen to and take one lecture later. They become more thinking about it, and they can really get some more points there. And I wonder if you think that that hinders the process of absorbing the lecture. Actually, I think so. But I don't mean... I don't know what to say. I don't mean you shouldn't. And I think I've told you, I lost this argument several years ago. Because I... Tsukiroshi was somewhat reluctant to have his lectures taped, and I agreed. And Tsukiroshi and I said, No taping of lectures.

[33:55]

And other people in Zen Center, particularly one person, persisted year after year. You know, bringing the question up. And finally, we gave in. Okay. Now I'm quite glad. Now I lost, because Tsukiroshi's lectures are here. I don't think... I don't know what to say. I think if Tsukiroshi was here, like I wouldn't... If Momonroshi was here, right? I wouldn't listen to his lecture again on tape. What happened at that time... is enough. And how that goes. To listen again would be to almost interfere with the process. That's my own feeling. However, if there was some particular point that I was stuck on, you know, the needle was stuck in the...

[34:57]

I might want... What did he really say? I might listen to that part or something, I suppose. But I think what I'm saying right now is rather my personal opinion, not some Buddhism or something like that. So I think if some of you find it useful to listen to tapes, I don't know what to say. But please, dozen. Actually, it seems that he says something about reading. Reading? Yeah. It seems that reading certain things sometimes... You know, you get caught by reading the words and... Sometimes maybe just one finger crossed... Well, reading is okay, as you know, if it works with your practice. It's difficult to study. What? It's difficult. As far as reading things and studying,

[35:58]

keeping one's mind concentrated on, say, even-mindedness, while reading a sutra. A sutra is sometimes 5,040 seconds. So you don't want to go, oh, wow. Maybe it's better not to read the words, maybe? You mean you don't want to go, oh, wow? Why not? I love going, oh, wow. I read those descriptions and all of this stuff, and golden rays and everything. Oh, wow, that's fantastic. Some people get bored, but I think it's very nice. Your concentration shouldn't be that delicate. I mean, concentration is something bigger than just...

[37:01]

Simple concentration, the ability to maybe not jiggle as you're putting a watch part back in a watch, that's not just what we mean by concentration. I think the next logical part of Prajit's question is if there is a line between indulgence and suchness. If there is a line, where is the mind? It's in the water. It's in the water. The water line. The water line. Maybe it is a water line.

[38:19]

You can tell, I'm too low in the water these days, it must be indulgence. You said that we should give priority to our state of mind, but also we should help other people. What if sometimes to help someone you just get all distracted? The greatest help you can give a person is your state of mind. That's the highest priority. If you help somebody with a distracted state of mind, you might as well not, unless you have to stop the blood or something like that. You may be distracted, please stop the blood. Don't stop and meditate for a little while and regain your state of mind, that would be terrible. But usually, it's your state of mind which helps people. Isn't that true? I guess so. I feel I'm on a ticket.

[39:34]

I feel I'm on a ticket. I think when you can practice without effort at all, then you can give it up. It's not giving it up, it's just... I think I'm maybe getting levels confused again. What is the difference, or is there a difference between jumping into Samsara and the fool who jumps in to the ceiling and stays up all the time? We're talking about two different... Are those two different subjects? For a person who raises such a question,

[41:19]

there's no alternative except to jump into your practice. That's not... reaching too soon for enjoyment. What do you... You spoke about the fool who... I know, I know, I know. Me. That's fair. I'm not a fool. What are we really talking about? We're not talking about jewels and water and fools. We're talking about you.

[42:28]

All of us together. Did you say that you could start practicing once you become frustrated with your practice? Completely frustrated? Like, stirring them out when he spoke? You know, whenever... You know, we're separated from talk like that quite a bit. We're newspapers in that room. So when it does... He was bringing it up quite... I mean, he was showing us how, actually, it will... too quickly, it's getting pulled out from under us. And that the tribe, it starts a fear. And then, when I read, the most point that's brought up by any teacher is that you should have... The matter of broken love is of great importance. And so, maybe, when you're completely frustrated with everything, you just collapse. You collapse into your practice. Is that what that means?

[43:30]

That's pretty good. Very good. So, fear would be... So, has fear been the driving force in you? You came around and left that time. Maybe so. Maybe so. Fear. What do you mean by fear? Fear of what? I guess it's just... It's coming. Instead of just... If you're hanging on to the precipice, instead of just letting go, just trying to hold on to it. Fear of the dangers of hanging on.

[44:30]

Yeah, we can also call that wisdom. You're raising something else about what Sterling said, what to do. I think... The conditions of life in any century, at any time, are pretty bad. I don't think we're lucky to have worse than usual. Maybe... Maybe the planet's in more danger. We seem to be floating in our own sewer, this planet. But if you're trying to protect yourself

[45:48]

or Zen Center or our practice, then you have some fear. But if you, you know... I don't know. ...mind itself. Is that the same thing as being aware of the object of the other five senses and all the subsequent mental activity? Or is it something different? It's the same. Anyway, one practice at a time is enough. Even if it's not the same, one practice at a time is enough and that one practice is all practice. But particularly if you practice viewing everything as mind, realizing everything as mind, that includes everything. Okay? I think we have some desire, you know,

[47:31]

at the end of a practice period, to bring out some practice for each other. But we don't have to. Just to be aware. Just to continue. What we're doing is pretty good, actually. And if you have some difficult state of mind, to find some way to balance it. By genuinely not babying yourself, indulging yourself, fooling yourself. And if you can't do that, you know,

[48:39]

you don't seem to have the courage to do that, to then contemplate the actual situation you're in, from which there's no way out, and no place to hide, and no safety. And if you don't find reason enough to motivate your practice, you know, notice how little other people understand their own suffering, enormous pretense that everything's okay, and realize that you yourself are the same,

[49:39]

unable to see your own situation, and make some effort to cut through that, to answer that with the wisdom of Buddhism. And if you're on the other end of that spectrum, and you have some smugness, about, well, I'm pretty good, and I'm on the right track already, and actually, this practice is something that's natural to me. Unable to see practice as a gift, giving it up for others, returning it to your teacher, returning it to Buddha, starting over again, starting as a beginner. Not, I used to do such and such. Oh, I partly understood that. That's just past, you know.

[50:43]

But, how to actually put ourself into our practice wholeheartedly, without reservation. Entering what Yaksan Igen called the path of being, the path of all being, is how to practice with everyone, with everything. How deeply satisfying it is to have this opportunity to practice together, not just with each other, but with the plants we plant,

[51:53]

and the buildings we take care of, and the valley, and road, and people, and society we participate in. Without any thought of advantage, just as some nameless monk, realizing Buddha's way, knowing the only refuge is the three treasures.

[52:41]

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