I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. Good morning. I find it very interesting that what happens in the moment is so much a mirror of what is happening on the big screen. So we're a little confused about what we're chanting

[01:02]

and the stand that my notes are sitting on is a little wobbly and it strikes me that that's not so different from the state of the world. I wrote on my notes for my talk this morning notes for lecture the week the war in the Gulf began, at least overtly. And I suspect that that has a lot to do with our coming out of the woodwork this morning. It is a time when our inclination seems to be to gather together and I think that's right. It's a time when we want very much not to be alone but to be with others. Whatever our political position or our persuasion about these matters may be

[02:03]

it does seem that it's not a time to be alone. Death seems to get our attention in a way that almost nothing else does except perhaps life. I'd like to begin my talk this morning by reading a section from the Karani... excuse me, Karaniya Metta Sutra, the discourse of the Buddha on loving-kindness, the cultivation of loving-kindness. But I want to preface reading this passage and preface what I have to say this morning by acknowledging that what I want to talk about is not so easy and may these days feel like a very difficult

[03:07]

reach. So the section I want to read goes as follows. May all beings be happy whatever their living nature, whether weak or strong, omitting none, whether long or large, middle-sized or short, fine or coarse, those which can be seen and those which cannot, those that are near and those that are far, those already born and those that are to be. May all beings be happy. Let none another deceive nor despise anyone on any grounds, nor with anger or thoughts of hate

[04:10]

let beings ever wish one another harm. Just as a mother will give her life to protect her one and only child, just so towards all beings should one boundlessly open one's mind. With loving-kindness towards the whole world should one boundlessly open one's mind above, below and all around, free from narrowness ill-will or hate. It's a lovely idea, but how do we get there? So what I want to talk about this morning has to do with how we get there. This sutra on the cultivation of loving-kindness starts out with some description about

[05:12]

what one who is skilled in wholesomeness does, what one skilled in peacefulness does. So what I want us to pay attention to, what I want myself to pay attention to is the word skilled. When we think of having a skill, knowing how to drive a car or work with a saw or use a computer or sing a song, skill has about it that quality of something one cultivates, one learns, one is educated to. So the Buddha suggests that wholesomeness, a capacity for wholesomeness is a skill which can be cultivated. And I think for most of us, we don't think of this quality of being

[06:15]

in those terms. I think all of us can remember when we were young children and we wanted to learn how to do something. We wanted to know how to walk. Watch a young child learning how to walk. Perhaps some of us can remember when we first learned to ride a bicycle. It didn't matter how many times we fell off, we always went back and got back on the bicycle. When I was a child growing up, the skill that I was yearning for was learning to ride a horse. And I was scared a lot of the time. And the rule clearly was, whenever I fell off or was thrown, I must get back on if I was going to cultivate any degree of skill with riding a horse. So that meant doing what I was wanting to do,

[07:21]

including making a mistake or not paying attention or losing my balance or whatever. And again and again, coming back to what it was I wanted to learn to do. The Buddha suggests that the way we learn these skills is both through education and our environment. And these days, the description of our environment suggests that in many instances, most of us are not living in an environment which is conducive to the cultivation of skill and wholesomeness or peacefulness. Our intention here at Green Gulch is to cultivate a place, this valley,

[08:23]

where we can be more inclined towards wholesomeness and peacefulness and to share that with others. Some recognition that to have places in the world where one can be quiet where these intentions are openly declared may increase our opportunity for tasting the states of mind that accompany peacefulness. Throughout all of the texts about the cultivation of these qualities, there is over and over again a recognition that none of this cultivation of skill comes about except through effort, having some sense in our minds of what it is we intend towards. And it is that effort over and over and over again

[09:29]

which is so crucial in our capacity to be a particular way. The events of this week have reminded me once again of how much I have to start with myself. If I want peacefulness in the world, I must start with myself and I must start with the way I talk to myself about what I do or what I think, my capacity to be a particular way to cultivate the quality of self-reliance which is not self-isolation or the cultivation of pride, but taking care of myself, not hoping someone else will do it for me. Then I must begin with the way I treat my family,

[10:30]

all of the people who live with me, my next-door neighbors, I had a real test a day or two ago when I passed the Mirror Beach Community Bulletin Board and there was a, what I would call a very tough picture on the bulletin board. I feel a bit shy to describe it too graphically but it was an articulation of the relationship between Saddam Hussein and President Bush, a picture showing them in a sexual act which had everything about it of frustration and rage. And I thought to myself when I went to sleep that night and realized that the picture had dropped into my mind without my inviting it

[11:34]

and that the next morning I would go and take it down. But when I went back, someone else had taken it down. But I thought about the picture and the effect it had on me, the effect of overhearing a conversation at the Whole Earth Access store between two young people standing by the cash register arguing about who's right and who's wrong, being particularly hard on people who are demonstrating against this war. And I was struck again by all the little incidences of fear, hatred, frustration, and how it turns into rage, how much we have the drama of the war

[12:39]

in our immediate lives moment after moment. And of course over and over again an opportunity to rehearse or cultivate some ways of being that are more resonant with what we want for the world at large. One of the texts that I have been studying, a commentary on the Loving-Kindness Sutra, talks about how the cultivation of self-reliance and I would hasten here to underscore that I do not mean closing ourselves off from others but that reliance on ourselves to do what we know how to do, taking care of ourselves in a wholehearted way, how that quality of self-reliance leads to self-confidence, how self-confidence leads to

[13:43]

the development of security which then leads to our capacity for love in the world. If I listen to the newscast or the television what I hear over and over again is about fear, the want of security, wanting control where we don't have it, the consequences of taking positions and not being committed to process. I think that one can see these patterns no matter where one stands on the political spectrum. In this sutra the Buddha talks about the great obstacle to wholesomeness and peacefulness as fear

[14:44]

and talks about a number of the ways of being that lead to the cultivation of wholesomeness and peacefulness. The first one he mentions which seems completely crucial and right is the one about speaking the truth. But in the Buddha's teachings what he means by speaking the truth is actually quite radical. Speaking the truth especially to ourselves in each moment. Not telling ourselves what we need to hear to reassure us about what we've done but to look with courage at what is happening in the moment, not leaving anything out. Describing the truth-telling in the language which is very particular

[15:46]

and descriptive, language which is free of taking a position but the kind of language that arises out of deep listening, paying attention. So this is one of the ways that we can practice the cultivation of peacefulness these days. To commit ourselves to finding out what the truth of the situation is whether it's in the moment of conversation with one's spouse or child or housemate or colleague at work or with oneself or in listening to the news and trying to figure out what of this that I hear is the truth and what of it is justification. Not succumbing to feeling helpless about our possibility of finding out

[16:49]

about the truth of the world situation but doing whatever we can moment by moment to the best of our ability. Keeping our intention focused on what is small and doable. Taking care of what's immediately in front of us. In the Sutra the Buddha also talks about being direct, that truth-telling, that speaking out which has about it directness, not beating around the bush. Excuse me. These things just fall out of my mouth. There's also a very strong admonition about not being stiff with pride. And the big practice for cultivating

[17:52]

a capacity for humbleness is bowing. Very hard for us to do. I'd like to recommend that we all take up the practice of bowing a lot these days. Our dear friend Bob Thurman describes it as Dharma Aerobics. Much easier on your knees than running and you get spiritual merit besides. But it's a great antidote to the capacity for that condition called stiff with pride. There's a wonderful story about a man who lived at the time of the Buddha who was stiff with pride, who would not bow down before the Buddha, before any of his teachers, before any gods, before anyone.

[18:52]

He wouldn't even go to hear the Buddha give a discourse. And then finally one day, much to everyone's surprise, he showed up at one of the Buddha's teachings. And at the end of the teaching he threw himself on the ground before the Buddha. And he then said to the Buddha, Would it be alright if from now on instead of doing this prostration business I just tip my hat? And the Buddha said, Yes. I guess this is in the spirit of doing what one is able to do. And so as close as this man could come to prostration was to tip his hat. I guess we just have to do what we can do. Keep nudging up against our resistances. In an interview with the ambassador from Jordan

[19:59]

on, I can't remember if it was Thursday or Friday, I think it was Thursday, while I suppose most of us were still kind of glued to the TV set, afraid to leave because we'd missed something. I was really struck by what he said about how none of us knows what we have now unleashed. None of us knows where we will go with fear, with frustration, with anger, with hatred, with rage. We have no idea. The ante is up. So we have to start with where we can start with ourselves this morning.

[20:59]

I want to tell you a story about truth-telling, a story someone told me last week, which I found very moving. As some of you know, on the new moon, some of us gather together while it's still dark enough in the early morning so that we cannot see the lines on the palm of our hands. This is according to the old ways. And we take whatever of the eight so-called Mahayana precepts that we feel we can take that early morning for 24 hours. The list includes not killing, not lying, not stealing, not taking any intoxicants, a vow of celibacy,

[22:02]

a vow not to engage in any entertainments, no adornments, and no sitting or lying on high places, the last being archaic but extremely useful in terms of helping me notice the detail of my daily life. A high place is described as anything higher than this distance from my elbow to the tips of my fingers. So the way the practice goes is that one takes one, two, three, etc., up to eight of these precepts or vows for 24 hours, that is, until sunrise the following day. So in December, a group of us did this eight Mahayana precept ceremony. And one person in the group has an eight-year-old son. So later in the day after our

[23:07]

retreat was over, she went home and her eight-year-old son said that he wanted her to watch a particular television program with her. And she said, well, I can't. And he, of course, wanted to know why can't you. So she said, well, I took these promises early this morning, and one of them was no entertainments. So for me, that means that I'm not going to watch any television tonight. So later that night, as she was putting her child to bed, I can't remember, how did it start? I guess it started with his saying, Mommy, earlier he wanted to know what other promises she'd taken. That was it. So then that night as she was putting him to bed, he said, Mommy, I stole some things. I stole some trading cards

[24:11]

from two stores. And he then proceeded to tell her about how he'd taken some cards that he was particularly caught up with collecting. And after they talked for a little while, he allowed as how they had talked enough. He wanted the conversation to be over, and she said, I think we have to stay with this conversation until we're finished with it, and we're not quite finished yet. Because, of course, the child had not been sleeping for two months, and they had taken him to the doctor, and they'd been doing all kinds of things trying to figure out why he wasn't sleeping. And his mother realized when he began telling her what was up, oh, this is why he's not sleeping. So they finished the conversation by figuring out together what would be a way of taking care of the situation. And the child himself said,

[25:12]

well, maybe he needed to go back and tell the people that ran those two different stores what he'd taken and pay them back, and that he would pay for the cards he'd taken with the money he had from his allowance. And his mother said, well, if you want me to go with you, I'll go with you. And he said, oh, yes, I want you to go with me. So they did. And then a day or two later, as she was putting him to bed, he said... Oh, no, excuse me. That same night, he said, Mommy, you didn't ever steal anything. I guess he went through the precepts with her. You've never killed anything. You've never lied. And when they got to, you've never stolen. That was the part I missed. He queried her about it, and she decided, well, I took this vow not to lie, so I have to tell him. And she said, well, when I was in college,

[26:13]

I worked in a bookstore, and I took a lot of books. I stole books. Oh, Mommy. That's right. That was what prefaced his telling her. I knew there was something out of sequence. So a couple days later, after they'd gone and he'd paid the money and they'd made peace with the first two stores, as his mother was tucking him into bed, he said, Mommy, I remembered another one. So they went to the third store and made amends and paid the money, and the next night he remembered a fourth store, and he said he was really sure it was the last one, but he really had just remembered it, and he thought he'd better take care of it. What strikes me about this story

[27:14]

is what has happened between that woman and her child. I think that in the vernacular, this is an example of what we mean when we say two people are really going down about something. It's like they drive. It's like they've stopped to some deep place that was really true and that was not easy, but which is the basis for a kind of trust of themselves and of each other. When I told someone this story, they said, I bet that child's adolescence will go a bit better. And I thought, yeah, I think that's right. So when the mother told me this story, she said, you know, I never would have imagined taking those vows for 24 hours

[28:16]

would have that kind of ripple effect. I could not have imagined it. We never know. We never know what we do when we turn to ourselves and do the best of what we can, when we tell the truth bravely, even about that behavior which doesn't thrill us, especially in ourselves. We have no idea what the effect will be. We have no idea what the effect will be of the cultivation of peacefulness in our lives will be. Thich Nhat Hanh has said that in the days when the boat people were first leaving Vietnam, often the difference between a boat capsizing and not, because of course the boats

[29:17]

had many, many, many more people than they were built to carry. So capsizing was something that could happen very easily. He says that very often the difference between a boat capsizing and not was the presence of one calm person. Hundreds and hundreds of people's lives riding on the presence of one calm person. So it seems to me that these days, this week, this morning, the authenticity of my practice, of our practice is sort of on the line. And that means being able to be present with my mind when I feel frightened, frightened of incidents of terrorism, frightened of my friend's son in Israel

[30:22]

being harmed or killed, frightened about what will happen to the civilians in the parts of the Middle East that are being bombed, frightened about what this leads to for who knows how long. So if that's what arises as I wake up this morning, then that's what I get to practice with. That's what I get to tell myself about with some truthfulness, being very particular and descriptive about what I see and understand at any given moment. A friend of mine, a Zen teacher whom I respect enormously,

[31:23]

said during a recent visit that he thinks for us to practice Zen we have to have some capacity for innocence. I had a very interesting conversation about this with my daughter, wondering about the word innocence. I think for many of us we think that means being a little out of it, being a little romantic or something like that. And I don't think that's what my friend meant at all. For me it means much more that capacity to be surprised, to really understand deeply that everything changes, so that even President Bush or Saddam Hussein may change. That capacity to understand that in each moment I witness

[32:25]

continual change and that I have no way of being certain about how it will be. I can only commit myself to being awake to how it is in the moment. And of course what I immediately run into is my description of how I expect it's going to be. How often is my expectation of how it's going to be a factor, an element in the cultivation of what actually does happen? So I think this capacity to be surprised, to have someone behave in a way I would never have imagined they could behave, this capacity is pretty crucial, pretty fundamental. As some of you know, I have a Dharma teacher called my mother,

[33:28]

a difficult, fearful, alcoholic, a person who has had a very hard time trusting anyone in the world and who meets the world with fear and suspicion and who has, for virtually all of her life, never felt loved. I'm quite sure of that. At 83, she finally got it. She can behave today in a way I've never seen her behave in her life. Most of us figure by the time you're 80 or 83 or whatever, the die is cast. You can't teach old dogs new tricks.

[34:33]

It may be more difficult to teach an old dog a new trick, but my mother shows me that it is not impossible. It is possible to teach an old dog a new trick, specifically the one about acceptance and love. So, this is what arises for me out of reading and studying the Loving-Kindness Sutra, listening to the news, as a Dharma text, which surely it is a profound teaching

[35:39]

coming over the airwaves these days, a teaching which I find leaves me feeling heavy of heart but more committed than ever to find a way to be as wholesome and peaceful in the detail of my daily life as I can be. I'd like to close by reciting a dedication verse which you may find helpful. I find it very helpful. It goes as follows. By the power and truth of this practice, may all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness. May all be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. May all never be separated

[36:41]

from that sacred happiness devoid of suffering. And may all live in equanimity without too much attachment and too much aversion and live believing in the equality of all that lives. By the power and truth of this practice, may all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness. May all be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. May all never be separated from that sacred happiness devoid of suffering. May all live in equanimity without too much attachment and too much aversion and live believing in the equality of all that lives.

[37:42]

So I dedicate my practices this morning to my cultivation of a capacity to see what the causes of happiness are and to understand what the causes of suffering are, in particular. To understand what is the sacred happiness which is devoid of suffering. And in particular, to pay attention to those moments in my life where what arises is attachment, which leaves me out of balance, and aversion, which leaves me out of balance. Hence, may I dedicate my practices to the cultivation of awareness of attachment and aversion because, of course, this is where it starts.

[38:48]

Noticing. And may I continually renew my commitment to believing in the equality of all that lives. Not just the people that I like not just the animals I think are sweet or pretty or friendly. All that lives, without exception. By the power and truth of this practice, may all beings have happiness in the causes of happiness. May all be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. May all never be separated from the sacred happiness devoid of suffering. And may all live in equanimity without too much attachment and too much aversion. And live believing in the equality of all that lives. They are intentioned

[39:54]

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