Well, we're here together. That's all. Is that enough? No. Buddhism we often talk about the conqueror or the valiant man. Hakun Zenji talks about the valiant man who always attaches himself to unsurpassed, luminous, uninterrupted meditation. Does that describe your meditation? Uninterrupted, even by the end of formal zazen. That's what we mean by sitting like a stone. We say, seize the jewel.

[01:23]

In those lectures of Mumon Roshi, in that book some of you read, The Secret of the Lotus, he says, a foolish man, if there's a jewel in the water, a foolish man jumps in and stirs it up looking for it, and he can't see anything. But a wise person waits until the water's quite clear, and that's one stage of our practice, waiting until our being is quite clear. But also, to seize the jewel means to seize everything as enlightenment, this moment. So one practice you can have, or one thing that may be helpful, is after every thought, you add something like right now. If you don't add it in words, you have that feeling. Maybe you're doing kinhin and you think, oh, next period I'll concentrate on my breath more. Then add right now.

[02:57]

Concentrate on your breath. Or I'll start practicing, right now. If you feel, I need a break, some relaxation, I can't wait till the break. Right now, take your break. Just whatever you're doing, you can take a break. one reason in a monastery like this we take away our personal time is so that you don't depend on your own history, your own division. This is for this and that's for that. Right now you have everything you need. If you can't take your

[04:03]

relaxation, your personal time, each moment when your life is divided into public and private or something strange. Right now, you have everything you need. Assurance is necessary for practicing. Okay.

[05:25]

No monastery is enough for our practice. We come to Tassajara only to change the spin. And luckily Zen Center is a place where we can actually go in it from situation to situation, because we don't have a situation like China in the 7th and 8th centuries, where you can go visit Tozan or Nanaku, Nansen. Still,

[06:53]

Fundamentally, we have to... our practice is our actual situations. But until you change the spin of your life, you'll just bounce around. You won't control your situations. By control I... Anyway, I don't mean control. I mean control, but I don't mean control. But if you can change the spin, you know, of your life, then every situation can teach you. To be in a monastery 20 years produces maybe a well-trained priest. So our practice must be more than just monastic practice. Your

[08:18]

You know, I've talked about three modes, complex or gross and subtle and the combination or seed mode. And as long as your practice, your life exists in the first mode, you can't really practice. But as you get to know yourself better and better, you have some inner order. Zazen is maybe some inner order. Ribs and blood and the way your mind works.

[09:29]

Actually, your bones have some consciousness, and your blood has some consciousness. And if that consciousness is not there, you will fall apart. Actually, that's true. Physically, you become sick or weak. The reason, you know, we try to give up particular differentiating comparative mind, because it prevents us from seeing the relational quality of everything. If you see how everything is related, you can't say good or bad or whatever. And at first you experience your consciousness and your energy in short little jumps. So much effort, so much awareness, and then it slips away. But actually, you don't exist in this way. You exist more as a field.

[10:57]

And we're not interested in our practice, in any particular expression of it, but in the very base, the ground, dharmakaya, of that field. And for our practice, We emphasize will, will or willingness, resolution or conviction or confidence. Actually, there's no alternative to it. Dogen Zenji said,

[12:05]

that," he quotes Buddha as supposedly saying, when Buddha is saying, I attained enlightenment or with all beings simultaneously I attained enlightenment. And then Dogen asked, what is the way he realized? If you realize it, even Shakyamuni Buddha will have no place to hide. Speak quickly, quickly, he said in that way. Speaking quickly and no place to hide, trying to get your fundamental nature to speak without thinking, oh, is that good to say, or should I not say that? Because actually, there's no place to hide.

[13:22]

Your actual... When we stop hiding, then you can experience your consciousness moment after moment as not complex, some simple, very brief, instantaneous arising. If our practice is to sit, you know, we say, like a conqueror, when the sasheen becomes at the most difficult time of the sasheen, we should make the sasheen more difficult at that time. So if, as Hakuin Zenji says, we are going to do battle with sleepiness or ideas of passive or active or good or bad, you have to see these ideas, you know, you have to be able to be present with your actual way, your nature is. If you only see it as complex, it's already too late, as I say.

[15:09]

So you have to be present with it. Your life is actually quite simple. Brief little single things happen, not so complicated. But we're always not there, we're somewhere else, thinking about our history, about this bag of meat and bones, which we are so concerned about where it came from, what its destiny is, who took care of it, who its first boyfriend or girlfriend was, where it went to college. And we don't know the actual consciousness of our bones and blood. That consciousness actually holds us together and holds society together and Tassajara together. And that consciousness is not yours alone. That's why we say warm hand to warm hand. And that consciousness doesn't exist just now in this present. It can actually continue by our lineage through the patriarchs.

[16:39]

And it's not just an antidote to civilization, but it's actually the way everything exists. If you can give up your history, give up your... So that's why we take a new name in Buddhism. If you can get freedom from yourself, then you can have complete freedom in your practice, or outside your practice, or in any situation.

[17:44]

This is the easiest place to get your freedom in zazen, in a monastic practice. If you can't get it here, where can you get it? Here, everything is taken care of for you. There isn't much to worry about. All you have to do is, in your practice, be one with the feeling in this zendo. This feeling is something unique, actually, and wonderful that has been passed to us. Just sitting also means entering the feeling of this senda, of this place, of our patriarchs,

[19:03]

sitting simultaneously with them. So when you study the koans, they don't make any sense. If you study them as literature or what do the words mean, you can only understand them when you could write them yourself. Oh, he, before he wrote it, he must have said, he must have meant. Dogen did this. He must have meant such and such, and then he writes out what he thinks, and it turns out the translation from China is wrong, and Dogen was right. When you know the koans before the koans, when you know what Nanaku must have meant, then it's not so important what the translation is. When you gain this kind of assurance in your life that nobody's

[20:30]

opinion can challenge. Quite sure. Then you can begin to look at your life, knowing there's no place to hide. This way doesn't require actually any willpower or effort You know, willpower only is necessary when you're trying to hide, when there's something you think can be hurt, or there's something you need to protect. But how much willpower does it take to bow, or to sit silently? Nothing to do. When you have this feeling, everyone's energy comes to you. Some great power comes to you. It looks like power, but actually, you're not fighting with anything anymore. If you think there's some place to hide, you'll make an effort.

[22:08]

But when you know there's no place to hide and you're not separated from each other, there's no point to do anything but be minutely honest. Hakuin says, to become like an empty cave. Anyone can enter or leave. You may not see much point in noticing my consciousness is like this when my breathing does such and such. As I said in the first talk of this session, when my breathing does such and such, I notice thus and so. When I do thus and so, my breathing does such and such.

[23:29]

But if you continue in this way, your illusions about what you are will disappear, and some fundamental reality will come up, which takes care of everything. Enlightenment is a coincidence, a coincidence of everything at once. If I call Upaya, a non-repeating universe, everything unique, each moment. It's also simultaneously coincident. And when you're coincident,

[24:35]

with it. That's enlightenment. Then our practice penetrates everywhere and everything penetrates us. And we know what warm hand to warm hand means. and our bones and blood and motility or various sensitivities of our system are alive with what they're actually alive with, not white corpuscles or something like that.

[25:43]

And it's interesting that your resolve, your own experience of your consciousness, is an articulation of that fundamental aliveness. And if you can turn that, you're turning the wheel of the Dharma. If you turn that, you can accomplish anything. If we can turn that, we can actually create Buddhist culture and practice in this country for anyone to participate in. In one or two generations, your resolve will produce that. Not zazen. Zazen is wonderful, and if everyone did zazen every day, like they sleep every day, the world would certainly be much better. But that alone isn't Buddhist practice.

[27:21]

It's your resolve based on the Bodhisattva vow. Taking refuge in three treasures. Which is our way of bringing you into coincidence with the Dharmakaya? so that you're creating this world each moment. And you're at one with that which actually is not just holding you together each moment, but creating you each moment. How to attain this coincidence, this complete freedom, is our practice.

[28:49]

which we are doing not knowing quite what it is, without beginning and without end. So how to, in your zazen, to settle into that resolve, to feel yourself turn and make that result, knowing there's no alternative. If necessary, having explored the alternative and finding how lacking they are. What, after all, is there except that seedbed of our consciousness? The true practicer, Zen, accepts nothing less.

[30:11]

This is the way. I don't know what it is, but I'll do it. Our mind can't grasp it. And if you want to practice that your mind can grasp it, you should leave. because you won't find it here. Our way is to accept everything as enlightenment now and to come into coincidence with all beings.

[31:35]

And we start by practicing zazen and accepting our zazen and our life, whatever it is. Do you have any questions? What do you think asceticism is?

[32:54]

Well, I'm not sure, but I remember a lecture three or four years ago, and it talked about how there was an aesthetic element in our practice. People tended to pick up on it and go too far with it, and they were so reluctant, and really didn't mean anything, and they ate too much, and that kind of thing. And so she, so she seemed to be very sad about it. Especially when she starts to feel like, you know, I'm reminded immediately of what we're going to be sitting underneath. And that kind of thing. In a way, just my attitude towards it, it doesn't seem so different. For me in this day and age, I'm really interested in that. I don't think the nails hurt so much. The yogi, he gets down very gently and there's quite enough of them. It's actually a kind of trick to sit on nails. If you move around a lot, you may be able to sit like a stone, but if you can sit still, you can sit on nails quite easily. Not one or two, but two or three hundred.

[34:20]

So, if you want, we can replace your cushion. You'll learn how to sit still. And then we can take the nails away and your legs won't hurt because you'll be able to sit still. It's a quick cure we do. I don't know, if you think of... Did you hear what she said? No. She said, isn't... This is my own version of what she said. She said, isn't this practice of sashin, especially, just like asceticism, like yogis sitting on a bed of nails? I just, you know, I'm sorry, I just don't feel this practice is ascetic. If asceticism is a kind of punishing yourself to, I don't know, for some reason, then eating too much is a kind of punishing yourself. The way most of us live is a kind of punishing ourselves.

[35:51]

This is just enough. It's true, our legs hurt, I admit. I especially have to admit it. Because my legs have never stopped hurting. I've never... I can't sit more than one period without my legs hurting. Pretty much, actually. I don't mind, luckily. I used to mind. I used to think, Oh, my God! What has Suzuki Roshi gotten me into? It wasn't so bad, you know, when I was doing it for training, one or two or five years. Then I could stop and it would be all right, and I would sit only one or two periods a day. But when I saw that Suzuki Roshi intended me to have to sit sesshins all my life, I sit, what, seven or eight sesshins a year? And in dokusan, I sit all day, practically, without kini, you know? I almost gave up.

[37:14]

I was sitting over there once, and I left the zendo, and I went to see Sukhya. I said, what is this all about? I said, is this really meaningful for anyone to do? I said, once or twice maybe, but the rest of my life, oh my God. Of course, a big change came when I found I could sit through the pain, and on the other side it was quite comfortable. If I actually, without reservation, sat through it, no matter what happens,

[38:16]

I understood at that time why Bodhidharma looked so funny. But I thought after I did that once or twice, the next sasheen, you know, each sasheen I had to go through it completely again, just like new. Most people actually, take hope, heart or something, most people actually get so they can sit fairly easily after a while. My legs are funny, I don't know why they don't behave themselves. But you know, if the pain doesn't flood you,

[39:23]

flood all through you, there isn't much problem. You know, if the pain is just here in your knees, just some vibrating nerve, it's not so important. And I guess maybe the comfort of sitting becomes greater. I'm trying to explain it's not so bad. I don't mind. I'm not sitting here suffering all the time.

[40:24]

It's alright. There's some ease in sitting after a while, you know. Even though my legs continue hurting, it's such a relief not to have anything to do, you know, actually. Just sit. And it feels like the most complete expression of your nature. fullest expression of your nature, of our nature. But that doesn't answer your question. I think that people who don't have much pain in their legs, who sit quite easily, Zen practice is actually rather difficult for them, for various reasons.

[41:28]

because of what happens in Zazen and also because to give up our history and our civilization is not easy and you have to develop some unflinching quality And the pain in your legs, you know, is not so serious when you compare it to people who have cancer or to the way most of the people in the world live and the way you may be when you have cancer. Some of you will have cancer, probably. Various of us. We don't know how we'll meet our death. It's such a small matter, actually, the pain in our legs." Tsukiroshi used to say, Many people have had their heads cut off by swords.

[42:53]

Actually, that's true. Many people have, it's not just in storybooks, have actually had the experience of their head being cut off by a sword. So, maybe me, I don't know. Suzuki Roshi's wife was murdered to me by a monk who was crazy. with a kitchen knife. We don't know what will happen to us. That's the first one. Suffering is very much a part of our life, and if you avoid it, not only when you die, but in every moment of your life, you'll have some difficulty. You'll always be looking for an easy chair, and it won't be comfortable. And the real energy in this life, from everything and from your friends, won't be there for you.

[44:39]

unless you're there for it and it requires some unflinching quality in your life. Not just some dramatic, you know, bravery. Some complete presence. And it's very useful to have the pain in our legs. It's the simplest, easiest way to face to learn to strengthen ourselves, to face some difficulty. Just pain in our legs, that's all, you know, it's no big deal. And if you can't, you know, face it, your resolve to face it should remain. Okay, next moment I'll try again. I just moved my leg, okay? If in the middle of moving your legs, you lose your state of mind, oh, I'm terrible, then that's worse, you know. Your resolve should be there. Right now, okay, if I'm moving my legs, I'll still take my relaxation right now, moving my legs quite comfortably, you heal, and I'm sitting back again.

[46:01]

If you have that attitude when you're criticizing yourself, when you feel weak, you may be able to have it when it's difficult. And if you only have it when times are difficult or in times of crisis or sessions, it doesn't mean anything. You also need it at times when Normally you'd lose your composure. So I don't think anyway our practice is ascetic at all, but realistic. Excuse me, that's just my opinion. I make a difference between, like, if I have pain in my legs, if I'm sitting and I have pain in my legs, well, then there's pain in my legs, but a lot of times it creates pain in my body by, I don't know, sitting up or something, by trauma. And then I get really upset because I'm making myself suffer, and it's terrible. And that pain seems more difficult to accept,

[47:31]

Maybe it's the same as being alive. Yeah, that's more important to accept that. Anyway, both you accept. But I understand what you mean. What meaning does our life have without this resolve? And how much meaning everything has if you have this resolve? And you'll gain complete freedom through our practice with this kind of resolve.

[48:27]

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