Thank you. Yes, I'm not kidding.

[01:04]

I was going to come today. And I wonder, I didn't know. And the time that I was putting around, I hope to get a lot, but we can't. We can't do what we need to do if I succeed. I expected to return to calcify after a certain recent cancer study in the city to be prepared with some teaching. After I arrived in San Francisco, I was asked if I wanted to go.

[02:07]

because I wasn't sure I'd be involved in it. And when I knew if I thought about it, I didn't really feel it. I didn't really feel it, so I just said yes. And I took it that way. And I had a lot of thoughts and feelings about it, and basically decided to go, because I did not ever think I would go to Japan. I mean, it used to be sad, because I didn't know if I was going to be there. And I thought it'd be better than I'd also... And about a week ago, I was sitting on the mountainside behind a super lucky little apple. And honestly, I didn't know what I was eating, and I didn't know what I was giving you. And the reality of sitting on the mountainside, and you could have been drawing 50 blind shoes on a tree plant in the sun. And really, that day was the first really clear day that that happened to me.

[03:18]

And when they feel it, they feel they're about to put a little breath in their life. I think that's good. I think with self-destruction, I know it's not good. And it seemed a little far-fetched in that perspective. I guess one thing I found is that no matter where I had been, how abrupt the transitions had been, I always did my best to be there. I was just, I'm really here. The why did to be here was just really kind of heartbroken. to be on that island. So I came down and said, oh, I'm just going to be flying back in a minute.

[04:23]

So you could be so active. So you could just be there for me. I have not thought that would be the case, and I feel it because I have happened to be in four places. And I can't be nice at doing it all, but it's just the way it is. You think you can do it, but you can't. Deeply, deeply, deeply, I can't. I can't do this. I can't do it all. And God says it's easy. I can't do it all. Conditioning happened when I first visited here. I don't know if you're picking it. It's pretty well kept up. The grounds aren't picking anything. Your family lives on my side, and we have a large Buddha Hall in the center.

[05:25]

In the other lane is the center, and on the side is a small reading square. Yes, it can be stated that the desk work, you know, gets us in every morning. You know, the center, it's a profession. It's a city. [...] Three of us, Matt and Ananda. Before Ananda came to Bethlehem, he was getting the bells and all the introductions. And then, behind the Buddha hall, going up about two sets of very tall steps, or short Japanese, I was surprised at how high they were, because they were high to me.

[06:40]

Going up two sets of steps, What's the high side of their boundaries? Well, it's behind the big wall. Some of the cushions are very warm. And that's what happened to me, right? Fabrics. I didn't know that he was the founder of the university. But the founder being the teacher of the faculty. So in some Japanese temples, the teacher of the faculty was the central spot of the business. You know, the class, 34th class, all the teachers, all the professors. And it was such a good thing. And his son, who is now at the Abbott Reconciliation Center, was born in the Eiffel.

[07:50]

He could do it his entire life there. There are words to express the feeling of continuity in the silence, the silhouettes. It was something that I did not want to do when I was 15 years old. I just wanted to be a Christian. I just wanted to be a Christian. And I did that by myself, but when I was born in the East, I didn't have that in my eyes or in my brain. I was just a little bit of a Christian. I was just a little bit of a Christian. And I guess the only be on the contacts of those women who would like to practice.

[08:55]

As a context, I feel we have a problem in this country. It's somehow a practice. It is better that there's a current training in place to practice this service. And we have a problem. It would be happy if we could have a place where we could reach that space that we could do that outside of the place. That's a part of how we go shopping in Canada, outside of pay streets and new buildings. It's not always that black and white, black and white. It's that our life, the practice, gets supported that way. I saw Brother David in the city.

[10:01]

Yeah, right. We talked briefly about Japan. He had some of the same experience I had, but he didn't have the language. I said, I had this great dream and it would be used somehow. But I couldn't explain. It couldn't make sense of why I felt. I don't know how it worked. So, well, I'm going to hang on with that. My effort to communicate pretty fast again. And the one thing is that actually I couldn't take care of it. And it's horrible that we did. I was being on a train with a friend who was escorting me. And we left their seats to go to the dining car. And he asked, should I bring my purse and my bag?

[11:03]

And the friend said, oh, no, no, no. It would all be ruined. I said, no, no, no. He said, I asked for the food. I said, there is the whole movie right there. And everybody was very happy. He left it there, and went in there, and took it back, and put it up there. And the feeling of helping yourself up to the lifestyle. I was wearing black slacks and a black sweater. I kept again spouting all sorts of stuff in Japanese and I suspected what they were saying was that I didn't belong there.

[12:09]

And I would certainly notice. I'm sorry. [...] Because I was assuming there's something out there. I was reading a little scripture before I left. And in there, I don't know if I read it or if I wrote it after I read it. Give up your own kind of life and take on the kind of foolish child.

[13:13]

I'd like to do that sound with my eye, so I really can take on karma through this channel. You will feel the juice through the pulse. saying that they can leave a book in place, and they go, go, wow, that's a great place. And even more, we just do things all the time. All the time, all the things in the talk that I say. You know, But there's some kind of, it's elaborate. It represents a lot of wealth. That's where I think, because I think it's funny to get a heartless response, but there's something that's beyond the mundane that reaches our deep aspiration.

[14:36]

deep heart aspiration. But I experienced something that really changed me. It was beautiful. It was full of that. And then, I don't think I really just needed to take it on. I think what I've looked at in my life, you know, I've looked at all of myself. It's not a question of which is real. It's because they're both there and they're both coming. If I think I see some white sides come up, I'll have to work the best I can to not get caught by my side or the other side. To trust. You have to trust both sides, to trust being through this trial. Won't you trust them to live by themselves?

[15:45]

But they're not different. They're not different. I think they're different. Maybe they're different, but they're the same. But it's not the person. It's one person. Not so. Some of you who are here in the spring remember that kid, Jane, coming down with Kana Sensei. You like to see them. You may remember Kana Sensei is a disciple of the teacher's certificate. She was very happy to see us. And we stayed four hours with her. We walked into a lecture in a direct way. He was talking about immediately the great compassionate heart. It's talking about throwing away our teeny-tiny idea of self-power, our idea that by our effort we can do something.

[17:15]

The thought that you can achieve enlightenment is a false idea. There is something beyond one's own power, beyond one's own self. Throw away your own habit. Throw away yourself. This is the same as throwing away body and mind. At the time of throwing away body and mind, other power is working. We call that other power Amida Buddha. The power of Amida Buddha is unlimited. Personal power is worthless. You realize, the word I wrote down is abhi, when you exhaust yourself. But when we talk about this, you realize you can't just throw it away.

[18:29]

You have to completely work it through. Whatever our efforts are, we have to complete those things so often. You have to do it. Nobody can make it too hard for you to avoid yourself. You tend to throw it away if you have to drop it. We can be conscious of the way we're living. We're noticing what tiredness, what's happening. We're not being stuck in here, not constructing ourselves. Constructing ourselves and not constructing ourselves. When you're in a foreign culture, you see how you obstruct yourself because everything is so unpromoted.

[19:32]

You can see the power of your I think I'm very much, you know, I don't think of my life so much. Some of the deepest things, the strongest things, I can't talk about.

[20:35]

I'm sitting with a feeling that I can't help my life. I don't want to make that transition to work. being Buddha's child and living my life in that way. I think maybe that's all you do too. That's why you're here. Um, Alexander said, uh, something he was doing about the precepts. He said, when you follow the precepts by literally following them, even though you're dying, your mind wants to do something that you don't let yourself do it. That's not how you do it.

[21:42]

The precepts follow after that. the precepts of the mind-heart. Those are the precepts. The way to follow that is to give up the desire in the mind for forever. Sashina is our form and our opportunity to practice this life, the life of Buddha. If we talked about, I guess you can tell me about emptiness, inclininous, and make it again, if we were studying the heart chakra.

[22:52]

Because I learned that you can't be studying the heart chakra. I'm just going to take that as it is lecture on Matsutra and Green Gulch. Matsutra. How many of you have heard of Matsutra? It's quite wonderful. They started that. describing emptiness as empty of self, empty of our nature, empty of separate self. He held up a piece of paper and said, can you see the cloud in this paper?

[24:02]

Can you see the sun in this sheet of paper? Can you see the water? And you see the soil, and you see the rain. And the Podium Dynagarjuna could be empty, but this couldn't hold up everything, because we had no separate sun, because there was no substance. separate from everything that we are open to. Everything can enter us. Everything can create us. Everything, a piece of paper, is composed of everything that is known. We are too close to everything we are not. We are composed of

[25:05]

The Buddha is composed of non-Buddha elements like us, and we are composed of non-exception beings like Buddha. Both of the exception beings of Buddha are active. One who bows and one who receives the bow are both active. After about two hours going through the taxi cab, he explained something that I had not understood this way before. And I don't know if Mel has done all this material about neither boring and neither producing or destroying. I never understood this, this is unborn.

[26:10]

Why? Because, as Thich Nhat Hanh says, when you are unborn, you think of being born arising from nothing, you're just like, and when you die, you don't find something that you're not. But actually, these days, nothing is created out of it. Things are created out of it. Everything is created out of it. And the example of the self, we are born, but before we're born, we already exist. Death in our mother, death in our daughter, Before they are born, we exist, tapping our grandmother and tapping our grandfather, and going back to their parents and grandparents and great-grandparents.

[27:15]

People say, we can see that we have always been there in one form or another. To begin in this time, So the notion of birth and death is the word that defines it. But we are, instead of with this hand, with my hand, if I had died in the past, would my hand still be there? You said the Ajnavamika, the heart sutra, used to liberate us from fear. It's about the constraints, the conscripts, categories of the mind. Can you kind of say a little bit more? paper.

[28:31]

You said there's a right side and a left side. You can't take the right side apart. You're creating another left side. You're creating another left side. You can't carry it. You can't give it to her. You can't give it to her. You can't give it to her. And that kind of came back to us as human beings. We practice not to become enlightened, but to realize our true life, our real life.

[29:42]

It's kind of like the title of the story. It's very great that they put that in there. observation that you need to have actual experience. It's that kind of observation that we can use session and talk. I feel it's important in our practice, no matter how many concepts and how many ideas and how many texts we read about the might and not the practice, realization, to make this cross-legative, whether it matches anybody else's. And that's what you have to do. I'm not doing this. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm not understanding. But inside, it's clear. Okay.

[30:43]

You're understanding. Even if the mind is grasped by the regret. I'm sitting there. I think so, yeah. Just breath. Nice. Soft breath. And then realizing the importance of pulling in the chin. One thing I've discovered recently is it's only good if you put it directly on you. call with her or justify with her. It helps a lot. It will actually prepare people at the achievement level. The extent, and I know that this is a hard thing, and it's difficult to do it, but maybe that's something more than just that.

[31:55]

You have to get it. If our real life is now in this world, The kind of observation that I was talking about is what makes our life real. I couldn't imagine myself taking that at night. I couldn't imagine myself getting a bucket of water and drowning. Whatever our response to the situation, whatever situation arises, that's our response.

[33:02]

To find our breath, it's to find the real, the real mind. Thank you. [...] And because we do it together, I do support each other's intention.

[34:06]

Distributed alumni are to take refuge in the failure, take refuge in pain, to take refuge in discouragement, to take refuge in confusion, whatever arises to help me to take refuge in my own video accuracy. When I applied to correlate my thought processes with my feelings, I found that my thoughts are related to my feelings.

[35:09]

If my body feels bad, there's some negative thoughts about it. So this kind of investigation, whatever we find, is very critical for us. helpful for everybody. I think right now, we think they want to be able to live with their Thank you.

[36:09]

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