Somebody was, somebody reminded me yesterday that this was a, I think it would be humming. What does a mute look like? Like this. Like this.

[01:07]

Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. [...]

[02:10]

Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. [...]

[03:58]

Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. [...]

[05:18]

Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. [...]

[06:42]

Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. [...]

[07:53]

Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. [...]

[08:55]

Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. [...]

[10:17]

Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. [...]

[11:41]

Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. [...]

[13:01]

Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. [...]

[14:11]

Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. [...]

[15:24]

Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. [...]

[16:31]

Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. [...]

[17:40]

Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. Nope, I'm not going to go there yet. And so I had a submarine and I entered the water and, you know, like in a movie you'll see the submarine going down and the air going away. And so the submarine, my submarine had very thick skin so that it wouldn't implode,

[18:42]

that it would keep the unwanted, the frightening out. And there was a window in the front which was very thick, so thick, in fact, that it distorted any image that came through it. So that it was always confirmed that, yeah, it was scary out there, isn't it? Because I would see big, ugly, horrible, scary things wherever I looked. Of course, there were people. And here we even had, I mean, I'd heard, I'd seen foxes and raccoons and, I don't know, one of the cats was pretty vicious too. And then one year there was even a bear and bobcats and, of course, scary people. So what I found was that maybe a couple of years later, let's see,

[19:43]

and during all this, I don't want to say that, but in a couple of years apparently I traded in the submarine for one of those old-fashioned diving suits, you know, the ones that, thick rubber, I suspect, with brass cuffs and brass helmet and a link to the surface for air. I always have a way out. I always have a way to get what you think you need. And this suit was very, very heavy. But it was thick. It wasn't as thick as the submarine to keep out the danger. But it did have a big, thick glass plate in front, which, again, distorted everything, but not quite as much, not quite as much. It changed what I was seeing from big, big, awful, horrible, scary people to, well, geez, maybe there are people like me, maybe, sort of.

[20:49]

So apparently things were softening. Then in a couple of years, I suspect, I traded that in for a scuba outfit, which was a, I don't know, I'm sort of glad they made a propylene or something, but not necessarily with a self-containing thing, with oxygen tanks, but there was a lifeline to the surface. But still I had the face mask, which distorted, still distorted what I was seeing. And then a couple of years later, I got rid of the lifeline, the air hose, and got a snorkel so that I could always, just in case, I could always touch the air. And I'm listening to talks by the teachers. They would be telling me that, you know, that submarine you're in, it's not real.

[21:53]

You don't really need it. And then they'd be saying that, you know, the diving suit, it's not real either. Nor is the scuba outfit, it's not real. It doesn't really protect you from anything. In fact, if you look really closely, if you take those masks off, you can see that it's all been made up from karma, from conditioning. And that was difficult enough. There was a part of it that was comforting. What if that were true? What if that were true? But there was enough doubt left that I wasn't too daring. And sometimes they would even, like Rev could do it, he could touch the side of the submarine and put his hand in through it, which this isn't supposed to be.

[22:59]

And others, others, of course, can do that. It doesn't take much, actually, does it? Just a little contact. So each of us has come here of all places. I remember talking, listening to somebody talking about how they felt rather, kind of guilty that their life hadn't been so bad and that they were living in a place like this while other people are suffering so much outside. And Dogen makes a big point over and over again that you're here because of your karma. Each of us is here because of our karma. That something, something very good must have been done for us to be here.

[24:01]

Because this whole environment is like a battlefield theme park where we've set it up so that we can, we have the most help you could ever get in beginning to clear the vision so that we can see what's actually going on. So some of us with hard lives, and that's all relative, are here because of karma. Those with relatively comfortable lives are here because of karma. And so to blame ourselves one way or the other doesn't really, can never, I don't think, really hit the point. So we're all here by immense good fortune to study, to enter into the merciful ocean of Buddha's way. You know, that's all I wanted to say.

[25:16]

I just turned over the page and I'm done. Except for one thing. I'm not a poet, but I did write, perhaps, as somebody told me, it was a poem. And it came during the encouraging, the encouraging words at the Rohatsu session last year. So if you don't mind, I will recite it, or read it. Here we are, each of us, tiny monks, sitting on our tiny zahus, in this tiny building, nestled in this tiny valley, on the edge of this tiny planet,

[26:17]

somewhere in a rather small galaxy, waiting for the morning star, when the whole universe awakens to its own heart, in each one of us. Thank you very much. Thank you very much.

[26:40]

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