Good morning. Welcome, everyone. And for those of you who were not at our festivities last weekend, happy new year. I want to talk this morning, maybe a good topic for a new year, about making progress, and making progress in practice, and the whole idea of progress. It's kind of complicated. So this was a topic suggested. at our affiliate group at Rockefeller Chapel in Hyde Park. Renier is on as the head of practice and a few other people here, a couple of other people here sat there. What does it mean to make progress in practice? People sometimes say they don't feel like they're making any progress in their practice. What is this progress business? So we have a number of people, there are six people here for meditation instruction, five of whom I think maybe meditated for the first time.

[01:06]

And so there are ways in which progress is relevant and ways in which it is not. For people starting practice, I would say, yeah, there's a kind of initial progress which has to do with what I might call finding your seat. And for those of us who practice for a while, that also, you know, sometimes we need to refine our seat. How to find a kind of sitting position where we can remain upright but relaxed, where we can find some steadiness. where we can sit for, we sit 30 to 40 minutes at a time here. I do recommend sitting at home in your spare time or making time several times a week at least, even 20 or 15 minutes a day just to stop and sit and be present and upright. And the 13th century founder of Japanese Sutras and Dogon talks about this practice being the dharma gate of repose and bliss.

[02:13]

But initially, for most people, it takes some experimentation. What particular leg position, between cross-legged and kneeling and sitting in a chair, how to find a steady position for yourself. and to actually find some comfort. Some of us, for me, the first time I saw some instruction, it just clicked. I knew this was it. But I think also I still had to do some kind of process of experimenting to find out which positions worked for me. So in that sense, certainly to find your seat in practice, to find your way of... Individually, it's very individual, we each have different curves in our spines to some extent, and how do we find each of us our own way of sitting, of being present, of being upright, of being steady, so that we can pay attention to this body and mind.

[03:24]

on our cushion or chair for this period of time. So, in some sense, this is a very radical practice, partly because it's not about, or in some sense it's not about making progress. It's about actually seeing, observing, paying attention to what is going on in this body and mind. Here, this morning. apart from our stories about who we are and what the world is, all the ways in which we think we know ourselves and the world. What is it really like to be here? How is it? So to study this, to actually study this, maybe there's a kind of progress in this, but the other side is, well, Suzuki Roshi, you brought this practice to San Francisco and found it in the San Francisco Zen Center.

[04:28]

Gosh, it's a little more than 50 years ago now. My teacher's teacher talks a lot about non-gaining attitude. That Zazen is not about trying to reach some higher state of being or some a higher mental state or getting high in any way, it's just about being present. So, some people use meditation as a kind of self-help practice, but that's not what it's about in our tradition. Now, the other side of that is, of course, that there is benefit to this practice. And teachers in my lineage often won't talk about this. But of course, when you start, when you develop, when you find your seat and settle into practice, there is a kind of calming that's available, a settling, a steadiness, a deeper connection.

[05:42]

So I would say, again, it's not exactly self-help. It's about connecting with a wider sense of self. connecting with the deeper interconnected self, where we're not separate. We think of ourself as separate from others. It's built into our language. But this is not about, it's certainly not about getting rid of thoughts. That's one common delusion. It's not that if you don't have any thoughts, that's enlightenment or something like that. It's about being present in what is happening. And in that sense, there's nothing to gain, and there's no progress. So, you know, this whole idea of progress is problematical. And, you know, I want to speak to the other side of how, you know, I think it's complicated.

[06:45]

I think there is a way in which progress is important, but not in the way we usually think about it. So if you come to meditation practice, for example, because you're stressed out and your therapist says, oh, you should go do meditation or something, that's fine. You may develop some calm. But whatever goal we might have in mind, In reality, it does not help to be attached to a particular outcome. So this non-gaining attitude is that any idea of what you want to get from your practice, and by practice I mean the sitting practice itself, but also we emphasize a lot how the space of sitting and awareness and openness

[07:46]

does actually support our effectiveness, our helpfulness, our flexibility in our everyday activities, in our relationships, in our work life, with family, that we have a wider sense of ourself and of possible responses and don't need to be caught in our patterns of reaction. So maybe that's some kind of progress. But it doesn't happen according to some idea we have. And often it doesn't happen in any way that we can particularly notice. People around you might notice it more if you develop a regular sitting practice. So I don't want to say there's no benefit, but whatever benefit there is has nothing to do with some goal we might have. or maybe it's tangentially related, but all expectations are illusions.

[08:53]

Whatever you expect from some experience, and this is all experience, and I'm not talking just about practice here, or Ipuzazan, but nothing ever happens exactly according to our expectations. this talk will not be the talk I expected it to be this morning, will not be exactly as you expected it to be, and actually nothing that ever happens is exactly according to our expectations. Our expectations is just some fantasy about the future. And that's okay. It's not that we should get rid of all expectations. Of course, we do think about, you know, We do have ideas of progress, we do have ideas of accomplishing things. It's not that that's bad, it's just not reality. And the more we know that our ideas about what will happen in the future, or what's happening in the present, or what happened in the past, those are just our stories, our ideas, they're not reality.

[10:11]

So this is a very radical practice. It really goes against the grain of a lot of what our culture teaches, and maybe what all human consciousness, in some sense, leads us to expect. So we sometimes talk about suchness, being present in reality as it is. How do we engage with that? How do we meet that? And of course, it's not like just valueless empirical study. We have precepts and guidelines to how to do the Buddha work, how to support helpfulness in the world, how to decrease how to help decrease suffering for ourselves and others. So when I say it's not self-help, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't also take care of yourself.

[11:18]

But how do we do this in this wider field that is not about being caught up in some idea of some outcome or some expectation? It's a complicated issue. Dogen, who I mentioned, 13th century founder, said that deluded people have delusions about enlightenment. Enlightened people are enlightened about their delusions. So, it's not that you shouldn't have delusions. It's not even that enlightenment is better than delusion. But how can you be present and see and really take on whatever delusion or enlightenment is happening. So yeah, you should study your delusions. We do have expectations. We do have ideas of progress. We do have goals. And of course, New Year's time is a time of resolutions.

[12:21]

And we do take on commitments and projects. And you all decided to show up here this morning. And you've accomplished that. Congratulations. So it's not that we don't take on some project, some commitment, and we can more or less fulfill that. But it's not based on our ideas or expectations of how that will happen. So one of the three great Japanese Soto Zen teachers in the last century was named Sawaki Kodo. Sawaki Kodo Roshi really revitalized the practice of Zazen in Japan in the last century. And he traveled all over the country teaching Zazen and sitting Zazen with people.

[13:26]

It wasn't until he was very old that he settled in his temple on Taiji. but he famously said that Zazen is good for nothing. So, you know, whatever you think you're going to get from Zazen, according to Sawaki Roshi, no. Now, Again, the other side is that Sawaki Roshi really accomplished this wonderful, wonderful for us, because here we can come and do this practice. But he really revitalized that in Japan, and that helped to lead to people coming here and introducing this practice for us, for non-Japanese people. But he says awesomeness is good for nothing. When he died, his obituary, the headline writer understood Sawaki Roshi's teaching about good for nothing.

[14:31]

The headline when he died was, Sawaki Kodo Wastes His Life in Zaza. So that's pretty wonderful. Is there something you can waste your life in? Is there some project, some practice that you can totally waste your life in? Completely, wholeheartedly waste your life in. So maybe waste is the opposite of progress. I don't know, anyway. So what does it mean to make progress in practice? Maybe it means just to not have any more ideas about making progress in practice. Or to not be trying to find to make progress in your practice. Maybe that's real progress. I don't know. There is development in... Well, certainly we develop and expand our awareness

[15:43]

of practice. The Dharma flowers. Lotus Sutra really is the Dharma flowering sutra. The teaching of reality and the practice of reality can flower and open and unfold. And the practice of skillful means, how we respond to the difficulties of our life and the world around us and friends and family and their problems and being able to be helpful with that and with the problems of the world, that does develop, expand, open, or it can. Sometimes it does that without our noticing it. So sometimes, there's this phrase I love from Dogen Reiss, he talks about, just experience the vital process on the path of going beyond Buddha. Just experience, or fully experience, the vital process on the path of going beyond Buddha.

[16:44]

So going beyond Buddha is kind of a nickname for Buddha. So it's not that Shakyamuni Buddha, who lived 2,500 years ago and started Buddhism in terms of our human history, it's not that he had this wonderful experience and then was finished. He continued practicing and sitting every day. He continued awakening every day. Awakening is an ongoing practice. Buddhas are ongoingly going beyond Buddha. So if you have some idea, or if you have some very good understanding, and it's possible. There are a number of academics in our Sangha, and it's possible to have a very good understanding about Buddhist teaching. But if you think that's it, that's not it. Or you might have some very fancy experience. Sometimes there are these dramatic experiences of realizing awakening. That's not the point of our practice.

[17:46]

It's not the goal of our practice. But that's OK if it happens. But that's not it. If you paint a picture of that and put it up on the wall and bow down to it, that's not it. How do we continue to awaken in each new situation? with each new problem in our world, each month, each week, each breath, each lifetime. So just experience the vital process on the path of going beyond Buddha. This is a vital process. Zazen is a kind of alchemical, organic process. And sometimes it may seem like we're at some plateau and not making progress in our practice. It may seem dull or boring. Probably not initially. Probably initially you're wondering how to feel, how to deal with the discomfort in your legs or whatever. Actually more difficult than that is the discomfort of seeing all these thoughts that are running around in your head as you sit.

[18:50]

Or seeing your own grasping or nastiness or attachment or anger or frustration, this is part of being a human being. So when we stop and sit, once you find your seat, that stuff arises. And so in some sense, making progress in practice is about befriending yourself, getting to know your own process of reaction and reactivity. all these impulses, craving and anger, hatefulness. When we're willing to sit still and be present in the middle of that and see that, they lose their power. That doesn't mean that you're not still going to react from that. gradually, and again this may be making progress, we start to have a little more space around these patterns.

[20:00]

We start to be able to not cause harm based on our craving or anger or hatred or frustration. We start to be able to see that about ourselves and accept that. we start to have more options. So we don't have to react and yell at someone because we're frustrated or angry. Although that might happen, it's okay. But then, you know, can you sit with that and see that? So again, it's an organic alchemical process and sometimes when it seems like we're at some plateau and not making any progress, stuff is really happening. In terms of the underlying awareness of zazen, But part of practice is being willing for it to be boring. There's a Dharma talk that Aisin gave.

[21:06]

It's on our website that you can listen to it. What was it? Something about boredom. The gift of boredom. The gift of boredom, yeah. And my old friend, Philip Whelan, who's maybe better known as a beat poet, but he was a Zen teacher in my lineage, Sukhyavati lineage used to say, if it's not boring, it's not Buddhism. Well, I don't know that I agree completely with that, but there is that side of it. So again, this cuts against the grain very deeply of this idea in our society and in our culture of progress. Western culture is about making progress. that the whole idea of science and scientific and technological development. We have better and better cell phones or something. So there are various different ways we can see progress, this idea of progress.

[22:08]

But partly we should see how we have this idea of progress. It's very deeply ingrained in the conventions and the conventional reality of our culture, that we should be making progress. that we should be, you know, well, developing more and more, and the whole idea of science is that eventually we'll, well, maybe not eventually we'll understand everything, but more and more. And, you know, there used to be the idea of progress in our society in terms of, you know, our economy and our culture and so forth. Of course now, thanks to the big banks and the fossil fuel companies, we instead have the decay of our culture and so the whole idea of progress in our society is also challenged. More and more inequality of income resources and so the idea of progress that is deeply ingrained in our culture is suffering in some way.

[23:16]

But still we have this idea. We do think that way. So this has to do with different views of time and of history. Is the world progressing? Is humanity progressing? And I think this is a complicated question. There's this Western idea of scientific progress, technological progress. Since the technological revolution, a couple hundred years ago, particularly. There's another idea, though, of time and history that's more common, pretty much prevalent totally in Eastern culture, including East Asian and then Buddhism, but also in indigenous culture and native cultures, where we see life and time as cyclic. Things happen in cycles. It's not like some graph where everything is getting better. And the more we are connected to the natural world and the cycles of nature, we see things that way.

[24:29]

It's winter again. And this last few days it's even Chicago winter. We know what that's like, if you've lived here a little while, and so we have enough coast to prepare for that and so forth. But things happen in cycles, things happen in seasons. So most of Zen culture, most of East Asian culture is focused on that, and again, Native peoples, are aware of the cycles of the seasons. In Japan, everybody goes out to watch the full moon. How many people know when the last full moon was? Nobody? Okay, yeah, a couple of people. But yeah, so there's these two ideas, this idea of progress,

[25:34]

And this idea of non-gating attitude, or zazen is good for nothing, kind of cuts against that, and it comes out of this more natural, cyclic, seasonal kind of view of reality. So how do we see our practice? Do we see it in terms of making progress, or do we see it in terms of just cycles, like inhale and exhale, and zazen, and walking meditation? Well, I would say for us, as Western Buddhists, we have to find some synthesis of these two ideas of progress and cyclical time. There are aspects of both that are relevant to our practice. I think this is a complicated issue, so I'm hoping we will have some time for discussion and your comments or thoughts or reflections on this.

[26:46]

I think there's a problem both in this idea of progress, even if it's ups and downs, and then this idea of cycles and circles, which is so much part of Zen culture. Both have some problems. I think maybe we need a three-dimensional sense of time and history, maybe more of a spiral. And the great Irish poet Yeats talked about gyres, and at some point it doesn't hold and everything collapses. That's one idea, but I think there are other ideas of spirals. The most important thing is to see that the side of progress is not what we think it is. our ideas of progress are not... Part of what I'm talking about today is rethinking what progress is in our world and also in our own practice.

[27:52]

So again, finding a way to settle into being steady in our practice, sustainable practice, Sustainability is kind of opposed to some ideas of progress where we have to grow and grow and grow. Like our major idea in our society of the economy, it doesn't keep growing, it'll collapse. That's sort of also a definition of cancer. It has to be more and more metastasizing gross natural product. So what we think is progress isn't necessarily productive progress. It's complicated, and it's not that you have to figure this out. This is happening, both sides are happening in our practice, actually. This sense of the cyclical nature of our life, and this sense of a kind of other way of thinking about progress. Again, how do we organically, slowly, this takes time, this practice, how do we develop

[29:00]

and unfold and expand our ability to share awareness of reality, to express caring and kindness in the world, again with family and friends and co-workers, fellow students, and yet without getting caught on some idea of progress. So in some way I think Sangha is exactly about this dynamic. of being willing to be, so Sangha means Buddhist community. So our Sangha, as I mentioned, Dragons' End Gate practitioners, but we all have many, being an urban Sangha, we all have many Sanghas, we all have many communities that we're involved with in the world, out in Chicago. Neighbors and work and family and so forth. So how do we see the kind of organic, cyclic nature of our practice life and also see that something can unfold in the middle of that?

[30:15]

And I think, so again, I think Sangha is about developing, supporting each other to develop skillfulness in expressing our practice. and settling into our practice and sustaining our practice for each of us individually and, you know, together. So I think it's a complicated issue. So as in it's good for nothing and I don't really think it helps. Does anyone have comments, reflections, questions, responses? Please feel free. Just as you said, good for nothing, I thought, well, we can use it for nothing. Yeah, so that's a nice delusion about progress.

[31:19]

Let's have more nothing. Although, then I have to say, don't get attached to nothingness and emptiness and non-attachment. That's dangerous, too. But yeah, how do we develop and make progress in non-progress? Thank you, Krishna. Hi, Krishna. It's interesting, I actually did come to meditation through a therapist who recommended it to soothe my anxiety. Good. But I found that both therapy and my practice worked better when I got past the idea of trying to get better. Yes. Like if I'm angry in one moment, I can choose to not be angry in the next moment, and I don't have to look at that past moment as a decline in progress.

[32:21]

Right. Or if I'm sitting and I find myself becoming attached to my thoughts, in the next moment I can count my breath. And it's not like I have a setback. I just choose from moment to moment. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Good. Yeah, the point of the practice is just to pay attention, just to be aware of what's going on. And of course, we do fall back into our natural or our human capacity for anger or busyness or trying to figure something out. And we can let go of that. So in some ways, I think the essential art of Zazen is letting go. we can let go of whatever we think we're trying to make progress at, or whatever we think we should be doing, or whatever we think is bad.

[33:24]

I'm bad because I have anger. Well, that's silly. So yeah, thank you for that fine description of letting go. Right. I wonder to what extent this gets tied up to in how we see ourselves as individuals. Yeah. In that, like, I'll think, you know, I've got a anger problem, or I've got a temper. And so I find purely hypothetically. Oh, I see. And so I think about that and then I define myself as either a person with a temper problem or somebody who's always fighting that. And so it becomes very important at some very deep level that I have this definition of myself. Because if I lose those definitions, then I lose myself, is the fear. And so we see this person who's hopefully going to progress along rather than seeing this as,

[34:29]

myself as part of a larger network, not that I don't exist, but that I don't exist in this fixed grasping way. And so to the extent that I can let go of that, then whether I don't have to define myself as somebody with an anger problem or somebody who's getting over it, I can just simply experience the anger and then see, oh, it doesn't have to be me. I don't have to define myself as that. Good, yes. And yet we also have to admit, acknowledge to ourselves that we do have these stories about self. We do have this, oh, I'm an angry person, or whatever. We do have these, you know, they're very deeply ingrained in condition, going back to early childhood, that we have these ideas about who we are. So, again, this letting go of that openness allows us more a wider sense of self that's not caught up in self and self-help that's actually more effective in terms of what project we might want to do.

[35:38]

Yes, ma'am? I was thinking when you were talking about progress and some of the comments, you know, for me, I myself am in this range of people and just talking to other girls, you know, between 25 and 35, I think there's this sense of where you should be in your life, or what you should be doing. And so with those definitions that we have of ourselves and our identity, I think sometimes a lot of that is also tied to other people's ideas of what we should be doing, and that judgment that you sometimes feel, or that you judge yourself by. And so I think thinking about having more of nothing or befriending yourself. And it's kind of a nice idea because, you know, that kind of process of befriending yourself in my head, you know, that would seem like I would be letting go of some of those judgments that I have for myself or that I feel from other people.

[36:49]

And in that process, you know, maybe feeling less isolated or like you are kind of part of some kind of community. Good, good, yes. I think the first part is just that we do start to look at, you know, what our cultural norms are for where we're supposed to be given, you know, whatever, you know, whatever age or group or gender or whatever, what society says culturally you should be, what stage you should be at in your personal progress. We do have very strong cultural kind of norms and we get caught by those, we do get caught by those. So how to see through that and see that that's just some, that you don't have, that's not you. Good, thank you. Other comments? Daniel. I wanted to go back to something you mentioned about how if it's not boring, it's not Buddhism.

[37:55]

That's like a really interesting way to characterize this practice because I think that in our culture we're sort of very much saturated in sort of uber-simulation. It's like instant gratification is the goal and it's just sort of this like infinite chain of sort of how do I, I have to get gas for the car, I have to drive the car, I have to go to work, I need coffee, my boss is going to yell at me. So I think that this kind of idea of boredom that we run away from in Western culture is actually a valuable thing because it gives us space. to just kind of like stop and smell the roses, right? Yes. And this, I think, can be a sort of progress and like a return to like, it's almost from like, I feel like maybe a way to work the linear and circular together is like, the linear is like, you know, like a launch pad for the circular, right?

[38:56]

To a certain extent. So like, maybe you can characterize the circular as like, you know, like the, understanding where you are at one point. But in order to get there, you need to sort of frame yourself for that launch. So yeah, I think that. Yeah, the thing about boredom, or not being afraid of boredom, I think as you point out, as you say, our society is full of all kinds of diversions and entertainments and new technologies and all of this stuff. And also drama, you know, we can live our life with all this drama about, you know, what my boss thinks of me or, you know, all the things we want. And just settling down, you know, it happens so during longer sittings, when you sit for a day or a few days, that there can be, you know, a rollercoaster effect of, you know,

[39:57]

feeling really good or feeling terrible. So part of developing a sustained practice is to develop a kind of not being caught up in that level of drama or of intoxication by all the diversions that our society presents us. And that allows us a kind of sense of settleness. Just one or two more, Dawn? Well, I just, on that, was that, like, if you take that time to do work or just not to do anything for the day, or say you come to an all-day sitting, or even if they're kind of sending money or whatever, so if I were to come here, or tell an employer or a friend that I'm coming here for an all-day sitting, they're like, what are you doing? Sitting around all day, right? And I'm like, well, have you ever even tried sitting for 20 minutes, like, not in front of the TV? I mean, you can sit in front of the TV, right, for 20 minutes? Longer. Yeah, longer. I can sit for hours, right? But just sit, you know, okay, so then, but then even like, if you take the day and not maybe do anything, like, you know, just to sit.

[41:09]

Just sit and read a book all day. There's, sometimes I get worried about maybe judgment, when that judgment from my partner, judgment from, you know, So there's that too, of that being bored. So I guess I just wanted to say that. Yeah, and there's an old American slogan, just don't do something, don't just do something, sit there. So yeah, we get caught up in all the activities and all the doing and we don't, you know, Daniel said smelling the roses, we don't get a chance to actually enjoy our breath. So that's one of the things that Zosyn can do. And is that progress? Well, I don't know.

[41:52]

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