Good morning, everyone. So this is still Thanksgiving weekend, so happy Thanksgiving. This is one of my favorite American Buddhist holidays. I'd be along with the Interdependence Day in early July. And Thanksgiving is a celebration of We could say two of the most important Buddhist practices, gratitude or thanks and generosity you're giving. So I want to talk about these two practices, or these two aspects of our practice. So generosity is the first of the sometimes ten, sometimes six transcendent practices, generosity you're giving. something that we're all involved with, a natural expression of our everyday activity as we develop our ongoing practice of regular meditation or settling, upright sitting.

[01:17]

want to talk about giving, maybe I'll come back to that, but first talk about this first practice, gratitude, or giving thanks. It's not exactly on the list of Transcendent Practices or Precepts or of our Eightfold Paths. Is there right giving? No. Anyway, we might see that gratitude, right gratitude, We might see that gratefulness, though, as part of all of them. Or as the underground underpinning of all of our bodhisattva practices, this practice of gratefulness or gratitude. Maybe we could say gratitude is the heart of prajnaparamita. Wisdom or insight is about seeing into what's important, and part of that seeing into is gratefulness, gratitude.

[02:30]

Gratitude is related to respect, but maybe stronger than respect, not just to respect our life and all beings, but to be grateful, actually be grateful, to appreciate. And in some sense, Gratitude is part of practice of generosity, of giving. So the practice of giving involves also receiving, being grateful. When we are grateful, we naturally give, we give back. So these practices are very closely related. How do we appreciate? How do we be grateful for the things for which we can be grateful? How do we appreciate many things? How do we not just tolerate or be patient with the situations in our life, but really feel this gratefulness or contentment

[03:44]

So this is at the heart of Buddha's practice. And as Joanna Macy was saying when she was here last Interdependence Day, contentment and gratitude, gratitude is extremely subversive. We live in a consumerist society where becoming a hungry ghost is valuable. needing more and more and more. So, the day before yesterday they called Black Friday. And I kind of understand, you know, that you have to go out and shop. This is your patriotic American duty. You have to buy more and more and more. So, in some ways, Buddhism is about alleviating suffering, relieving suffering, and seeing the cause of suffering.

[04:51]

And classically, the cause of suffering in Buddhism, the second noble truth, is that we see things we like and then we think we need to get them. So grasping after things is the source of suffering, and it's what makes us hungry ghosts. and what is encouraged in our society. And so very subversive to that is just to feel grateful for what we have. To really feel this gratitude and, you know, there are many things to be grateful for. And we all have things to be grateful for in our world and in our own lives. in spite of the problems in our own world and in our lives. So I'm grateful for all of you being here just to help celebrate Thanksgiving together.

[05:53]

I'm grateful for this space. It's amazing. I love sitting here every time. I'm grateful that I left California and came to Chicago. I'm grateful for all the wonderful, talented, creative people who those of you who were here this morning, but also all the other people who have come and graced this space. Wonderful. Now, you know, I thought about it. Maybe I should say I'm grateful also for the stupid talentless people who come here and sit. But actually, I don't know any of them. I don't think that, I don't believe that, you know, when we stop and look and sit upright and feel our own dignity. There's no such thing. Everybody has, you know, I mean, there's really, the people in this room today and the people who come here are really extraordinarily, extraordinarily talented, lively bunch.

[07:01]

So I'm very grateful for the Sangha. But really, part of that is just this Zazen practice, which I'm unspeakably grateful for, that we can find our own way to express our own way of being creative and grateful and generous in the world. And each person who's ever been here is like that. So I'm grateful for all of you. I'm grateful for many things in my own life here in Chicago. I'm grateful for the opportunity that was given to me to share these teachings. I'm grateful to my teachers. and generations of teachers. I think it's important also to be grateful for the difficulties each of us has and that we have in our world. I'm grateful that we still have a habitable planet,

[08:06]

our water and air is not more poisonous than it is. And, you know, part of gratitude is to be grateful to and generous to our limitations of ourselves and others. And I'll come back to that in terms of generosity. But, you know, the situation of our planet where climate change and the damage from oil and other energy companies and some of the big banks and the war profiteers and so forth. We might feel like it's hard to be grateful. I'm grateful that there's a ceasefire in Gaza. I'm not grateful for the situation that has gone on there. But how do we see those situations as something even where we can be grateful and generous, where we can appreciate the difficulties and challenges of our own lives, and each of us can think of things that we have difficulties with, but also in our world.

[09:27]

These difficulties are opportunities. Peace can break out sometimes. So how do we think of our life in terms of gratefulness? Again, this is very subversive to the idea that we should be running around trying to get more and that if only we were somewhere else, everything would be better. How do we actually appreciate and be content with situation we have. That does not mean to be passive. That doesn't mean to try and take care of difficult situations. It doesn't mean to try not to respond to the problems of the world. But how can we be grateful for this opportunity, these challenges in which to respond? So this gratitude is, again, the background of, well, I would say of all the practices, but especially maybe of generosity.

[10:28]

When we feel grateful, we want to give back. So the practice of giving or generosity is a kind of natural response to appreciation of the situations of our life and of the world. And that we have the opportunity to give back, to respond. So being generous is actually very challenging for those of us who feel like we have to give gifts because of some particular holiday or some occasion that our society encourages us to give gifts. So generosity should not be, it's not really generosity if it's a business transaction or if it's an obligation.

[11:34]

But in those situations where we think we should give gifts, how can we see that as an opportunity to actually give something to someone? And how do we see the challenges of giving? What's the appropriate gift? How do we give somebody what is helpful to them? Maybe it's what they want, even if we think it's not so helpful. So I don't have a rule about it, but sometimes I'll give to people asking for money on the streets. I feel like I want to do that. I feel bad for people who are homeless or living in poverty now. And that's an increasing number of the people around us. So how do we give back? And then, how do we receive? So the practice of giving is also that when you get something that's not what you think you want, maybe all of you have had the experience of receiving a gift and, oh, OK.

[12:44]

But how do we receive it graciously? Or maybe there's something there that actually is a gift to us, not just tangible, physical, material gifts wrapped up with a bow, but also when somebody gives us a hard time. How do we receive that in a way that is gracious and that sees some when we get feedback? How do we receive that in a way that we can see? For ourselves, oh, well, maybe this part of it is true. Maybe that part of it, the other person doesn't really see me. But this is a subtle practice, this practice of generosity, of giving and receiving. We say in our meal chant, give a receiver a gift. So we cannot practice generosity if there's not somebody to receive. And we can't practice receiving if there's not somebody giving. And then there's the gift. So it's not always something tangible, although we all need physical material support.

[13:48]

But we say, what I'm doing today is giving a dharma talk. So this gift of the teaching and the practice is something that I receive that I'm trying to give back. And yet your, Dogen has a passage in one where he talks about how Buddhas don't just sit up in the front and give Dharma, the Buddhas also sit and receive Dharma. So it's an equal thing. And I feel that very much here, that in our discussions, and I think we will have time for discussion today, that people respond and people give back many creative, thoughtful, inspiring aspects. So part of giving is that it's contagious. It's kind of an infection or something. When we receive, or when we see somebody, you know, it doesn't even have to be that we receive something ourselves.

[14:52]

When we see somebody being generous, it's kind of inspiring. It can be. How do we respond to that? How do we see giving and say, oh yeah, I want to be generous too. I think that's what happens. What's the story of Tom Sawyer? Has anybody read Tom Sawyer here? A long time ago, maybe. A couple of people should be there, yes. Anyway, there's a story where he has to paint a fence or something like that. And he really gets into it, and he's just having such a great time painting that fence. It's kind of a chore he was assigned, but he really gets into it. Then other people come by and see him painting the fence and enjoying himself, and they join in and they want to, too. Oh, can I help paint the fence? So a song is like that. How do we, you know, see the ways in which we ourselves can enjoy just being upright and present in the midst of this situation and see other people doing it too.

[15:57]

Oh, yeah, I want to be like that. I want to appreciate my life. So this giving happens on many, many levels. And in the deepest sense of generosity and gratefulness as prajna, as awakening itself, as the perfection of insight and wisdom, when we are in this process of giving and receiving, this circle of giving and receiving and gift, where the gift is passed around and continues in some ways, we feel the selflessness in its deepest sense. We see this non-separation. Then we are connected. It doesn't mean that we each don't have our own cushion or chair we're sitting on, and we don't each have our own particular way of expressing Buddha, but we see our connectedness.

[17:04]

So giving is the first of the transcendent practices. Maybe it runs through all of them, and maybe in the circle of giving, in the circle of all the practices, we come back to giving again and again and again. And it informs all the other practices, patience and effort and meditation. How do we be generous and give, not just to others, but to ourselves too? So, generosity is wisdom. We could say generosity is the expression of wisdom. Wisdom is also the expression of generosity. When we are touched or moved by somebody giving something to us that we appreciate, or when we see somebody else giving something to some other person, too, we can be inspired and feel that deep connectedness and non-separation.

[18:05]

So, you know, Thanksgiving is a common, you know, it happens every year in our culture, and it's something in our culture that actually, and you know, it's kind of nice that there's not a tradition of, you know, you have to give gifts on Thanksgiving. You know, we have nice meals and get together with family, and of course then they've blackened it with Black Friday, but just to be grateful for, all the things we have, all the things we are. So in a sense, gratitude and generosity are the essential practices of wisdom. But I want to talk about just a few aspects of the practice of generosity in terms of the very practical aspects of them. and then hear comments and responses and examples and whatever you have to give to the rest of us in discussion.

[19:12]

So one aspect of generosity practically is when we see our own resistance to being generous. Very important. I don't want to give that. Oh my gosh, I really like that. I'm not going to give that to someone else. or in many different ways, or our resistance to receiving. I don't want that. Take it away. So one of the things that we can be grateful for and appreciate and give to ourselves is just to notice, to pay attention to our own resistance to generosity. This is actually the practice of generosity, is to see the ways in which, you know, sometimes we don't feel so generous. It happens. We, what is it, get up on the wrong side of bed or something? We just, you know, I don't feel very generous today. I don't feel very grateful. I don't know. I've got this to do and that to do, or this person I have to deal with, or whatever, you know.

[20:19]

Too many things to do. I don't have time to be grateful today. My to-do list is too long. Anyway, all of those kinds of examples of resistance to generosity, the practice of generosity, practically, the practice of developing and deepening and opening and expanding our hearts in generosity and appreciation, is to actually see our resistance. To see that we resist generosity, we resist receiving, we resist gratitude. I don't want to be grateful, look at all the terrible things. We feel that way. So the first part of this aspect of this practice is actually to see, to acknowledge, to see that resistance. And then also, as part of that, is to let go of it. Okay, well, I feel like too many things to do today, but still I'm going to do the next thing.

[21:21]

Or, I don't really want to give anything to that person, but okay, I'll try it anyway. Or, I don't want that, that gift, no, take it away. Well, maybe I should find a place for it. Anyway, but we can't let go of our resistance until we're willing to sit with it, to look at it, to be present with it, to admit it, to confess it. And this leads to another aspect of the actual practice of generosity, which is to be generous in our limitation, to accept that we have limitations, to appreciate our limitations. It's not just to tolerate them, but actually our limitations are gifts. Our limitations, all of the ways in which we resist being upright or being ourselves are opportunities to develop and open up our generosity and our gratefulness.

[22:32]

So part of giving is forgiving. How can we forgive ourselves for being human beings? How can we forgive ourselves for our own aspects of greed, or grasping, and of aversion, or anger, or frustration, or for confusion? Just the confusion that arises as part of being a human being. So to forgive ourselves for these limitations. This is a very important part of the practice of generosity. And when we see this in ourselves, we can also learn the practice of forgiving others for being themselves. How do we appreciate the particular limitations of some other? Maybe this is particularly difficult with the people we're most close with, whose limitations we see most intimately.

[23:43]

But how do we forgive them for being themselves? How do we be generous to their limitations? And even more than that, how do we actually appreciate that the particular limitations of this other person are actually gifts to you? We are gifted by having to deal with the limitations of others. And then seeing the particular, you know, what is the background to those limitations? When someone acts in a way that's harmful or damaging, or what is the pain beneath that, or what is the fear beneath that that leads to that? How does that show me something about my limitations? There are many aspects of this, this forgiving. And this relates to the practice of patience or tolerance. But patience or tolerance is not just passive, oh, I accept whatever's happening. It's actually looking at it. So with attention, with generosity,

[24:47]

with gratefulness even. Oh, it's not just that I'm willing to tolerate this, but what is there about this particular limitation in myself or some other or in some situation in the world that actually has some gift, has something, some opportunity to respond and to be helpful and to be generous and to be forgiving and to, you know, to relieve suffering of some other. Very important to be generous to the limitations of ourselves and others. And then the final practical aspect of generosity that I mentioned before we have some discussion is just, again, a kind of giving up. There's a positive side to it, too, but giving up the desire to be somewhere else. you know, beautiful Sunday morning out there.

[25:51]

I could be doing all kinds of other things, you know. It's, or, you know, some aspect of your life that you're dissatisfied with. I don't like this job. I don't want to, you know, I wish I, you know, could have some other job, or some other house, or some other car, or some other relationship. this naturally comes up. Okay, we imagine, we can think of other situations. If I was only thinner, or if I was only taller, or if I was only smarter, or prettier, or whatever, we have those kinds of thoughts. Can we give up our desire to be someone else or somewhere else? Can we give ourselves the desire to be present, to enjoy and appreciate and bring joy to the situation of this life, this morning, this relationship, this difficulty?

[26:59]

How can we just really be grateful How can we give ourselves this gift of just being grateful for being in the difficult situation we're in? Or in the wonderful situation we're in, however we see it. Both are gifts. To appreciate how wonderful it is to be with all of you on a Thanksgiving weekend. To appreciate the difficulties of particular people and myself and how How do we work with that? So this is maybe the biggest resistance to being generous and to being grateful, is to think that if only we If only we were somebody else. If only we were somewhere else. If only we had, you know, this is what this Hungry Ghost consumerist society encourages us.

[28:03]

If you only have this thing, you know, then you'll be happy. And then there's the next TV commercial, you know, you only need this too. How can we really just be content? This is very subversive to consumerist society. It's also subversive to the whole event of human suffering, the first noble truth of dissatisfaction, when we can actually be willing to be present and appreciate the limitations and the opportunities of this situation, that's very deep generosity and gratitude. So I will acknowledge that this isn't always easy. And sometimes we are dissatisfied. And some things do need to be changed in the world and in our life. How do we respond and help with that?

[29:05]

So maybe that's enough for me to say. Happy Thanksgiving. Does anyone have anything to give by way of response or comment or question? anecdote or whatever. Please feel free. Hi, Debra. Thank you for the gift of your talk. Thank you for the gift of receiving it. Thinking about gratitude and generosity makes me realize that it's a way of softening my heart to become more open to others and their situations. I'm reminded of a story by Sandy Boucher, who's a practitioner who wrote a book about her experience with cancer and her practice as she went through her treatments. And she had no health insurance, so she was at a public hospital where she was getting treatment in San Francisco.

[30:08]

And she would lie on a gurney in a hallway for hours before her treatments. And one day she was thinking about it and decided that She wanted to open herself up to others' generosity and compassion, when she could see it and find it around her, from the nurses, the technicians, the orderlies, that kind of thing, to really open herself in this suffering to it. And it added immeasurably to her experience to be able to do that, to see the bodhisattvas in her midst, that she perhaps was missing, Thank you for giving us that story. Thank you to Sandy Boucher, who I know a little bit. Appreciate that. Other comments, reflections, responses? Chairman, so I had Thanksgiving break this week from school.

[31:16]

It was much needed. And my parents were, they had someone quit recently. They didn't have time to find another person to fill their position. So they asked me to help out during this weekend. And I got really mad. I was really angry because I'm so tired. I didn't get the time off for my parents. So I think it's funny. that I couldn't just sit on my ass and do whatever I wanted. I had to get up and help people who really needed help. And it's really difficult. But I remember the koan of Mahakasyapa and of learning your flag. Yeah. Helped a lot. It's funny because it's Thanksgiving and I'm still pissed off. Well, thank you for sharing that. That's the practice of generosity, as I was saying, is to see our resistance.

[32:18]

So I wish for you some letting go of that. And I think you've just done that by confessing to us your stinginess and your lack of generosity and your lack of thanksgiving. So thank you for giving us that. Other testimonies to stinginess? I think I was quite stingy this weekend. I had two of my three children up visiting me and my mother visiting me, which is the good and the bad of what Thanksgiving was about for me. You can probably guess which was which. complex relationship with my mother. And she is at this point a minister in an evangelical tradition. And we tend to get into conversations about religion, which don't always go very smoothly.

[33:25]

And so she was telling me that I had maybe quit too soon on the whole evangelical Christian thing, and that they were much more open-minded. And somewhere in there she was telling me about how He would not let this lovely lesbian couple that's a part of their church participate in their marriage camp or lessons, but that they still loved them and respected them, and that was good. And I just felt the hairs on the back of my head stand up. I was trying to get her to open her mind to other ways of seeing things. And at the same time, I did have to acknowledge in myself an unwillingness to open myself up to her ways of seeing things. Not necessarily to agree with her, but to at least truly hear her without having it overwhelmed with my own issues.

[34:38]

Nobody pushes buttons like our own parents, I think, so she was very good at pushing mine and I was very good at pushing hers. So she gave me the gift of failure this weekend in that I had hoped to have much greater equanimity in dealing with her and she taught me very clearly where some of my shortcomings were. I will briefly say, though, that it was an excellent weekend in that I found out that I'm going to be a grandfather. Ah, congratulations. Thank you. What a gift. You started off by saying that you have had a complicated relationship with your mother, and I wonder if there's anyone who couldn't say that. Thank you. Other responses?

[35:39]

Reflections? Hi, Alex. One of the interesting things I find about the nature of giving is it's actually, I think, a very diametrical process where you... Actually, it's kind of a selfish act in many ways, where I looked at, when I was considering getting married and doing all that, What sealed the deal for me ultimately was, this really gives me a great opportunity to become a better person. It's not really about you, it's about this relationship, it's about me, and I'm going to be able to improve myself as a person. I say that kind of joke, but within that idea, there's obviously a greater good at work too, and also a greater good for me, I think ultimately, giving and receiving, as you mentioned earlier, are tied together in process.

[36:45]

Yeah, so... Yeah, I mentioned giving and receiving and gratitude as teaching us selflessness in the deepest sense. And part of that is that and not selfless giving in some sense of self-sacrifice. Oh, I'm giving up, you know, my wonderful opportunity for the weekend to do nothing, but actually, when we get involved in this process of give and take, then this sense of self is, Yeah, it's tenderized. We see that actually giving to others is giving to ourselves and vice versa. Or it can be. and may not always feel that I do.

[38:11]

And, you know, criticisms, for example, ways in which I made decisions without consulting her, or, you know, ways in which I was probably a good team player. Certainly I do feel she's been my greatest teacher.

[39:53]

So I was thinking about that when you mentioned that. Thank you all, by the way, for all you've said, the talk you had today with Ted Taylor was just fantastic. And I really thank you all also for the community that have been a part of it for the last six months, which has been a great deal to me. Thank you, Daniel. Yes. I'm grateful to my wife also. And when we get critical feedback or comments, especially for someone who knows us fairly well, that's a wonderful gift. So I apologize if I have not been critical enough. You're all just so wonderful. I'll try harder to be critical. Any other responses or reflections or Thanksgiving offerings?

[40:58]

Yes. I mean, I like that because it's something where I'm not going through the program.

[42:11]

Well, I heard, speaking of that, that from, I think it was a congressman or some official, I don't know if it was Staten Island or New Jersey, urged people not to give to the Red Cross because they didn't show up at all. So, how to find ways to be generous when there's some emergency like that is a serious challenge to the practice of generosity, and you're right, the examples of that people throughout the world want to help when there's some terrible situation. But it's challenging how to do that. Anyway, I'm sorry for the interruption. Just one thing from that too, just on a personal level. It's my non-generous side, so I assume that I don't get a tax cut off for doing this. But also I thought, you know, that would be a fair requirement. I know if I were in that situation, it would be very difficult for me to accept it. Yeah, so it's worth saying again that part of the real challenge of the practice of generosity is receiving.

[43:41]

How do we receive helpful feedback? How do we receive gifts when we really need help? We don't want to feel needy, but sometimes we need help. How do we say that when we do? It's not easy. This is also part of deeper selflessness. Thank you, Steve. Thank you all for your comments. Any last questions? Yes, Marianne. One of them makes the prayer at the beginning, and this man, these are people who have nothing, I mean, nothing. And he made the prayer and he said, you know, thank you, God, and please bless those who are less fortunate than me, who haven't gotten good dinner tonight.

[44:53]

I thought that was such a beautiful, personal, utter gratitude. Yes. Thank you so much for sharing that.

[45:05]

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