It's wonderful to have all of us joining together in a practice period, deciding to give ourselves this opportunity to settle ourself on ourself, to trust that in us which has chosen this upright sitting as a way to completely realize the fullness of what we are. It's wonderful to have such companions in this undertaking together. And we give each other a great gift by joining together and supporting each other

[01:13]

in this eight weeks of intensifying our practice together, of committing ourselves to ourselves for this time. So, not to ourselves in some narrow sense, but to our widest, the widest sense of whatever this self is, to commit our effort to discovering the fullness of what this is. And I've chosen the theme of the mind of absolute trust or the mind of faith

[02:25]

as a way of pointing toward that in us which has chosen to sit here, to settle the self on the self and let the flower of the life force bloom here as we are. Can we trust that which chooses this practice? Can we fully and wholeheartedly trust that whatever it is,

[03:27]

one way we can fully express this activity and this effort is to investigate what is this which chooses upright sitting? What is the source of this intention? Can I wholeheartedly embrace it? So, next Monday, as I mentioned, in tea, we will have a Bodhisattva ceremony

[04:46]

in which we will first repent or acknowledge all of our actions, completely avow all of our actions of body, speech and mind. And then we will take refuge in this Buddha mind, in this spirit of the universe, as Katagiri Roshi called it, in this source of all being.

[05:46]

We will plunge into that together, return to that, give our full absolute trust to that source and to the teaching which springs from that and to the community with whom we have gathered together to practice this taking refuge. And then we will renew our Bodhisattva vow.

[06:53]

Beings are numberless. I vow to save them. Sometimes we have translated, I vow to awaken with them. What does this mean? Are these beings inside or outside of who we are? These numberless beings, we vow to awaken with them. Delusions are inexhaustible, endless, boundless. We vow to cut through them, to end them. And the Dharma gates are boundless, innumerable.

[08:08]

We vow to enter them all. What are these Dharma gates? Every breath we take is a Dharma gate. Wherever your foot is, is a step on the path. Each moment is a new Dharma gate. Can we enter it? The Buddha way is unsurpassable and we vow to become it. I got out of order and backwards a little bit.

[09:12]

Because we end with taking refuge and before we take the Bodhisattva vow, we invite, pay homage to and invite to be with us all the Buddhas. All the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas we invite to join us in this ceremony. From the seven Buddhas before Buddha to all of the ancestors of our lineage. And then we take refuge. And then we complete the precepts, the three pure precepts,

[10:20]

and the ten specific precepts. Once again, renewing our vows to practice, to live in accord with our deepest intention. Again, I invite you to investigate the source of these precepts. I think you will find the source of these precepts is not outside of who you are. What is this mind of trust which enters in to these vast vows that we take with each other?

[11:55]

These vows come from some very deep place. And as we sit, we trust ourself to this source of who we are. We trust this source to guide us in our day-to-day activities. And we cultivate a mind of awareness that will keep us in touch with this source as we move through our life. This is our practice together. To touch this source and to return to this source again and again. To trust it wholly and allow it to manifest in our day-to-day activity.

[13:24]

And to keep returning to this effort again and again. Suzuki Roshi used to say, a Zen Master's life is one continuous mistake. And I often wondered why he would say a Zen Master's life is one continuous mistake. I can see how my life is one continuous mistake, but why would he say a Zen Master? And then I thought, well, actually a Zen Master, having cultivated awareness for his or her whole life, is much more aware of the continuous mistake. Of the continuous effort and returning to the effort, and returning to the effort, to live according to our innermost request. And being willing to make this effort

[14:57]

without ever any assurance that we'll be able to perfectly live exactly as we wish, but just keep making that effort. Keep aiming in that direction our whole life. Not judging, not measuring, just renewing our effort, renewing our intention, continuing to give it our whole-hearted best effort, moment after moment. And appreciating the joy of being joined by many other beings, all making this effort together. Being supported by many other beings, all making this effort together.

[16:03]

Appreciating in fact that everyone, everyone in every moment is making his or her best effort. In each moment, if we could make a better effort, we would, but we try again and again. As long as we live. Suzuki Roshi said, Zen is making your best effort on each moment forever. He also said, When you are you, Zen is Zen. So each one of us expresses this intention uniquely as we are.

[17:12]

It's no accident that we are as we are. It's the result of innumerable causes and conditions. And it's totally right and appropriate to be exactly like this, whoever we are. And it's exactly like this, with this body and mind, and these causes and conditions as they are, that we can discover how to most fully manifest the source of all being that turns us toward practice, each one in his or her own way. As we practice,

[18:25]

when preferences arise, we get separated from this Buddha mind, which is never apart from us. But we don't see it, because we think we want to be something else, or we think we have to be something else to manifest this Buddha mind. But we can only manifest it exactly as we are. I might admire many wonderful qualities, and many people that I see around me, and I do. And often I wish I were like this one or like that one. But when that happens I become separate from the one that I am.

[19:31]

And the one that I am doesn't get a chance to be fully expressed. And the same for each of you. You may see some wonderful qualities that you admire, and you would like to be like this or be like that. But please appreciate the very one that you are, and be completely like yourself, because only you can do that. It doesn't mean you can't learn from others, but you can also learn from seeing yourself,

[20:36]

and seeing what happens when you realize when you reach and grasp for something else. Seeing what happens when you settle on yourself. Just observe with an open mind, and it will help you to find out who you really are, and how you can most fully realize yourself, can most fully realize the Buddha that you are. . I was talking about the opening lines with Xin Xin Ming,

[21:56]

with someone today, and she said, Well, you know, I've been watching since we started studying, and I've been watching my preferences, and I have a lot of preferences. And, you know, I think we all do. I certainly do. And I don't think that the author of Xin Xin Ming is saying, Ah, nice people don't have preferences. I think he's just saying, Notice what happens in your mind when you become attached to preferences. Because we do have preferences. Because the next thing she said was, I notice, you know, actually, when I find myself clinging to my preferences, I find, Oh, I can maybe let them go some,

[23:00]

and then I feel so much calmer, and my day goes so much better, that I get really attached to that state of mind. I really have a preference to be like that. So I think that's what he's asking us to do, is just kind of notice how that works. Just kind of watch it happening, and see how our strong, you know, when we have strong preferences, how it affects our mind. How it affects whether we are content or discontent. Whether it affects our appreciation of just this, as it is. You know, when we sit,

[24:07]

Dogen Zenji says, Think not thinking. How do you think not thinking? Non-thinking. This in itself is the essential art of Zazen. Or sometimes that's translated, Think of that which does not think. But it's not about pushing thoughts away, which is just another kind of thinking. It's about thoughts not arising. It's about just being where you are, without the arising of thoughts,

[25:12]

without the grasping of thoughts. Being like a mirror, so that whatever shows up in front of you, you reflect it, without adding anything or subtracting anything. This is, I think, what he means when he says, the way is like vast space, nothing lacking and nothing in excess. It's just open to whatever appears. Sometimes, we will experience a moment or two or three or four like this. And we may say, Oh, I've got it! And then it's gone.

[26:14]

When I comes in and grasping comes in, that openness of mind pops like a bubble. So this is why we continue sitting day after day and moment after moment, coming and going from this vast openness that our non-thinking mind can be. And again and again noticing how we grasp for these moments

[27:44]

and reach for them as if this mind is something apart from us, instead of something that's right here all the time. As Dogen Zenju says in Genjo Koan, it is never apart from you, right where you are. And so we sit and stay with our breath and posture, return to our breath and posture, without reaching or grasping for something outside ourself. And when we see reaching and grasping arising,

[28:51]

return to our breath and posture again and again. Return to just this, just this, just this, again and again. Nothing fancy. It's a very plain practice. It's a very simple practice. It requires everything we've got to stay with it. And yet there is something in us which keeps returning to it. What is that? Can we trust it? I'd like to invite you to comment, bring up some discussion.

[30:03]

Let's talk about our practice together. What does the mind of faith or the mind of absolute trust mean to you? Or how would you talk about it? Yeah. There was a question. Hm? There was a question. Yeah, there was a question. Yes, yes, yes. I had this image I used to do a week.

[31:05]

So I imagined being a mountain. Being a mountain and all the runnels into the mountain were full of rock and things. And in the center there's like a light or a treasure. And so part of the job of the priestess is to kind of clean it out, to kind of work with the debris, which is me. And express it. The debris is you. Is the mountain you too? Okay. I just want to keep clear about that. What happens to the mountain when the debris goes away? What happens to the mountain when the debris goes away? I don't know if the debris goes away. I don't know. I think you just keep working with the mountain. I don't think there's a problem. Yeah.

[32:10]

To me it's like when you lose your glasses and you know they're someplace in the room. You can't really see them because you don't have your glasses on. But you know they're there someplace. So you keep looking. That's pretty good. Yeah. Before this practice period started and I decided to do a class, I hadn't read Shin Shinmei. Shin Shinmei. I still don't. So this convinced me that I really don't know. And I said, I have to take this class. It's only been a day. The mind is fake. And it kind of reminds me of sometimes how I feel about being in this practice, which is I don't know what I'm doing here.

[33:15]

Here I am. The mind. I've heard of saying something like the mind is fake. The two words in my traditional thinking don't go together. And yet the fact that they don't go together makes them go together. Somehow mind and faith just seems like a perfect combination of words. More describing my feeling about being here. Yes.

[34:22]

I'm wondering what's the difference between faith and trust. Well, you know, sometimes the same word is translated faith, confidence, trust. Stephen Mitchell translates Shin Shinming as the mind of absolute trust. And others have translated it the mind of faith. And others have translated it on faith in mind. And I don't know. Is there a difference between faith and trust? I think so, but I don't know what it is.

[35:24]

I think there's some shade of difference. I guess if there weren't some shade of difference, there wouldn't be two words. I don't know if they're exactly synonymous. Maybe it's like your faith in an idea or an interest in a person. I don't know. I myself, in connection with this point, don't think of it so much as faith in, but just faith. You know, we say in faith that we are Buddha, we enter Buddha's way.

[36:33]

Maybe faith that we are Buddha rather than faith in something which seems to be... Faith in something suggests something outside or separate. And I think this is pointing to something, the source of our being which is not outside, or our fundamental nature which is not outside. That's what comes up for me. Someone else have a... Yeah. When you ask, what is the mind of trust? What is the mind of confidence? You're not trying to actually inspect and answer what it is as from something outside of yourself. It's more like some contact, enjoying some contact,

[37:39]

some special contact with the mind. When I ask a question like that, it's not sort of looking for a definition for all of us, but sort of what does it mean for you in your life and practice? What's it like for you? Like Vicky's saying, it's like I know my glasses are here somewhere but I can't quite see them because I don't have them on, but I keep looking for them because I know they're here. And I somehow know this Buddha mind is not separate from whatever this is, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I can't grasp it. It's not graspable. But I know it's here. Tim, were you about to say something? No, excuse me. No. For me it has to do with knowing, like you just said about knowing.

[38:46]

It has to do with knowing, okay. Trust has to do with knowing. And it's something that is different from believing in something, that believing in has some idea that's separate from you and you believe in it. But trust or faith is for me closer to an idea, an experience of knowing that which is not separate but can't be expressed. And I used to struggle. I guess even saying I know, even having an epithet of I know because Suzuki Roshi said we should believe in no thing and nothing. And so I kind of had that confused. Well, I shouldn't.

[39:48]

I shouldn't accept that there are certain things that I feel I know. And yet finally it just became, I just had to flip around what I meant by I know. It isn't anything I totally know and can say, but it is a kind of a thrust. It's just... Yeah, there was another thing when you talk about believing, there was another thing that Aitken Roshi said that I liked very much when someone said, well, what do Buddhists believe? And he said, nothing to believe and everything to learn. So it's that kind of openness of being open to learn, fresh all the time. That openness is the direction that our practice aims, I think,

[40:53]

is to be... When you talk about knowing, it doesn't have... I think you're talking about something that's a non-conceptual kind of certainty, even if you can't, you know, like Vicky says, I know these glasses are around somewhere, I just can't see them. So... As we talk about this, what comes up for me is that the faith and the trust are real tied with the kind of simplicity of the practice. That all I have to have faith in is that I sit and take the next breath. It's not all cluttered up with concepts and beliefs and shoulds and shouldn'ts.

[42:00]

So, for me right now, that's what the faith of everyday sitting is about. Sounds like beginner's mind to me. Just sit and take the next breath and that's all you need to know. Yes? I don't have any clear definitions of either word, but I often somehow associate trust more with the heart than kind of knowing it, which you spoke about, that you trust something because you thought it mistakenly, but it's that kind of... which I think sort of resides more in wisdom. And faith, it's almost like you've had some kind of experience and that kind of experience relates to the mind,

[43:04]

or you think that, and you have faith it just might happen again. That's not very clear, that distinction. I'm afraid I haven't made it very clear. Well, it's interesting because you say faith is related to the mind and trust is related to the heart, but you know this word shin is translated either heart or mind. The distinction between heart and mind is not so clear in both Chinese and Japanese. The same character is translated both ways, so that's interesting too. And as you were saying that, I was thinking that I thought just the opposite. Yeah? Aha, interesting. So it's all in how you look at it. So let's... In faith that we are Buddha, let's enter Buddha's way together

[44:08]

for this practice period. Thank you very much for your attention. May our intention...

[44:19]

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