The Rule of Saint Benedict is really about life in community, life together, living with other people. loving them as they need to be loved. It's about that fitting together that the slides last night, I think, tried to show us. How the individual joints and elements of the building are integrated into one harmonious whole and how costly that is. I think it is because Saint Benedict knows about and writes about living in the community that he spoke to me at a time when family life was at its most intense and demanding and inescapable.

[01:03]

And I think that's one of the reasons why I'm so grateful to him. Because he tells us about this hard work of loving in a way that isn't escapist or romantic. He doesn't put huge expectations on it, but he really tackles it with his usual honesty and down-to-earth realism. Now, if we look on the rule as a codebook of love, Then the starting point is really absurdly simple. It is that we must love each one each unique, separate, individual person as they are and not as they are not.

[02:13]

This is the starting point of everything that the rule has to tell us about relationships And it takes us back once more to those extraordinary and amazing opening words that this book about community living is yet addressed to each one of us. My son, my daughter, the unique child of a loving Creator Father. So the starting point is the worth of each individual. But so often in the history of Christendom, theologians and teachers have not made that their starting point. They've dwelt on the sin and on the unworthiness of men and women. And so, in passing, I must just say, that is why Matthew Fox has rushed in to fill up that vacuum.

[03:20]

and tell us about original blessing. I think that a great deal of what he has to say I would question, but it is really a comment on what the teaching has been that he has had to bring in that corrective. Well, as if we had listened to what St. Benedict has to tell us, just as if we had really heard what there is in Christ's teaching, and after all, Benedict is nothing except declaring to us what there is in the Gospel, we would know that we, each one of us, have real value wherever we are, whoever we are. And Benedict doesn't merely say this. he lives it out. Everything that he tells us in the text of the rule comes out of his lived out experience.

[04:26]

It is hardly one experience two. We know a little bit from what St. Gregory tells us in the dialogues about what life was like at Monte Cassino when he gathered together that first family of brothers living there. And These men come out of an Italy of warring tribes and of social demarcation in which you are simply marked for life. Your place in society is determined at birth by the external marks of this strong hierarchical society. And now Benedict does this improbable thing. He's gathering together slaves and freemen and proud aristocratic Romans and wild Goths and barbarians.

[05:31]

He's gathering together illiterate peasants with those who have academic records. He's gathering those who are landowners with those who till the soil. And as again, we know from what we learn about their life in the dialogues, it wasn't always easy. There was a great deal of tension. Who should I be serving him, says a proud aristocrat, standing and looking at somebody who comes from a lower social origin? And Benedict spins round and challenges him and says, thoughts like that are of the devil. Now, Benedict doesn't easily invoke the devil. It has to be very, very serious indeed for him to be saying that. So he is letting all these disparate people live together and accept the worth of each single one of them.

[06:42]

How amazing this is and how liberating. And although it's so obvious, I think we must just stay with it for a moment. Because so much has gone wrong, perhaps in our own lives, perhaps in our local communities, certainly in society as a whole, because of the denial of self-worth. I suppose I could see it particularly clearly, as one can sometimes at a distance from one's own situation, and because it is ultimately very dramatic there, in the visits that I made to South Africa when it was a society built on apartheid.

[07:43]

And that was what I saw, precisely that, the denial of the unique worth of each individual. And it was very tempted to come back, and at that time I was living in London, to come back and point the finger and talk about the evil of apartheid and what I had seen in terms of social and racial discrimination. But if I was really honest, that was something that I saw in London actually in subtler form, but I'm not sure that it wasn't possibly more cruel because it was more hidden the way that it is lived out in Western society. A city like London is a relentless city, a city which labels, puts people into little boxes, judges them,

[08:51]

dismisses them. There are social divisions. There are class divisions. There are divides of rich and poor. We play a very subtle game. We can tell by where you went to school. or which part of London you're living in, or just how you dress or the job you do, a great deal about your social, your educational background. and we tie labels on people, and thereby we imprison them in our assessment of them, and thereby we also denigrate them and deny them their own true worth as a brother or a sister in Christ.

[09:58]

For that's at the heart of what Benedict is telling us about how we accept, receive and love another person. Let everyone who comes be received as Christ. For in Christ's eyes there are no people who don't matter or who matter less. Each one of us is brother and sister in Christ. We are all one in Christ. We are all equal in love. But I think it's also important to get this right Benedict isn't saying that there won't be differences between people.

[11:01]

There's no levelling down into some sort of neat, rather deadening unity. Because there are differences of a physical and a psychological kind. Because there are the gifts of the Holy Spirit to each one of us. Everyone has his own gift from God, one this and another that, he says in chapter 40, quoting one Corinthians. But he is sensitive to varying individual needs and gifts and capacities. And it's seen particularly in that famous example of the wine in chapter 40. Because there are endless examples in the rule of allowances and concessions, because all the time Benedict is saying to everybody in his community, you're special.

[12:02]

You're special because you're old. You're special because you're young. You're special because you're sick. Everyone is special, unique, but it is the end of all labels. There is no distinction of status. There is no preferential treatment for the clergy. No one is excused kitchen duty and the washing up. In the face of the social distinctions and the racial divisions of his day, it is quite amazing. He is telling the world and he is living out the fact that Everyone is sacred and each person has a right to develop to his or her full potential. And none of us has to do anything to prove our worth.

[13:08]

We don't have to achieve, we don't have to claim, we don't have to demonstrate our worth. It is a gift, it is a gift of unconditional love. And one of the most gentle marks of respect for my own individual worth, which I've come to appreciate, is Benedict's reluctance to intrude too closely into the private prayer life of his monks, to direct too closely the pattern of their inward prayer. And here is a sensitivity a reticence about people which I come increasingly to appreciate in a world and in a climate of the church at the moment which seems rather to like to direct

[14:19]

literally, control suggests. He draws back. Here is space, here is freedom. He leaves us each free to find our own unique way to God in prayer. And in these years in which I see an increasing growth in technology, technique about prayer, I think we see Benedict's insights about freedom and not trying to direct even more urgently than ever before. I suppose really everything that I'm saying is really a commentary on what I was saying this morning about reverence, respect, handling with care, handling material things with care but also handling people.

[15:27]

with care as well. That's no bad definition of chastity, which is something that applies in its widest and in its most profound implications to all of us. It means distancing myself, both literally and figuratively, because it is only too easy to crush, to impose, to manipulate. We have to respect the mystery that each person is. If each person is made in the image of Christ then ultimately each one of us is a mystery and we must draw back in the face of that mystery. Thomas Merton writes about this at one point.

[16:34]

A person is a person insofar as he has a secret and is a solitude of his own that cannot be communicated to anyone else. I will love that which most makes him a person, the secrecy, the hiddenness. which God alone can penetrate and understand. A love that breaks into the spiritual privacy of another is no true love at all. It seeks to destroy, rather, what is best in him and what is most intimately his.

[17:37]

How gentle the abbot is in his handling of the brothers in the community. And this portrait of the abbot is also tells us about Christ but is also the exemplar for each one of us in the way in which we are to behave to one another. Benedict uses the familiar image of the shepherd and just because it's so familiar I think sometimes we have to jolt ourselves look at it afresh. Because we've lost something of the immediacy which the early church felt here. What the crucifix is for us today, the shepherd was, in the early church, the cross, the gallows, far too shocking to use of Christ.

[18:53]

And the catacombs show us instead paintings and sculptures of the good shepherd. And that was how they saw and felt Christ. Christ amongst us as a shepherd can never be general, abstract, impersonal. A shepherd calls each one by his name. He knows them and they know him. All the riches of that passage in Ezekiel 34. I'm going to look after my flock myself. I'll look for the lost one, bring back the stray, bandage the wounded, make the weak strong. I shall be a true shepherd to them. And when things go wrong, when someone has fallen into sin, the shepherd so gently tries to put into operation a healing of that wounded person.

[20:23]

Gently, he begins with the oil of encouragement, but it may well be that he has to go on to the quarter rising iron and finally even that he may have to apply the knife of amputation and it is no good shrinking from this. Here Benedict is telling us something that is profoundly important and as always he doesn't shrink from something which is difficult. He says There's often a very real danger that you may want to protect another person from themselves, that you may want to collude, that you may not want to face a person with any sort of honesty about what they are doing to themselves, what they are doing to other people.

[21:35]

And Benedict knows that it is quite wrong. Indeed, it is treating a person in a patronizing way as less than responsible, less than to a person who can stand firmly on their own feet, to over-protect. And so we have to stand aside and help that person to take responsibility for themselves. And we have to find the right, very delicate balance of concern which doesn't stifle, which doesn't overprotect. I like the way in which Henri Nant tells us about Jean Vanier, who was the founder of the L'Arche Communities for the Mentally Handicapped, must have helped thousands of people who would otherwise not have been able to have any chance to live lives of full human dignity.

[22:48]

How he feels about these people in his charge. When Champagner speaks of the place that he tries to give to these people, he often stretches out his arms and he cups his hands as if he's holding a small wounded bird and he asks, what will happen if I open my hand fully? And we say, the bird will try to flutter its wings and it'll fall and die. And he asks again, but what will happen if I close my hand? And we say, the bird will be crushed and die. And then he smiles and says, the right place is like my cupped hand, neither totally open nor totally closed. That is the space where growth can take place.

[23:52]

The abbot knows about healing and that things can go wrong. Twice a day, at Lourdes and at Vespers, the monks say the Lord's Prayer aloud. So they make this pledge to one another. Forgive us as we forgive. Commitment to continual forgiveness is an essential constitutive part of their life. And how much Benedict knows about human nature, about human relationships in giving this central place to forgiveness. Unless we forgive, we are enslaved to the past. We are in chains, caught up in resentment, hurtful memories, and there is nothing that uses up our energy more than going on thinking again and again about the old hurts, the wounds,

[25:21]

That inner conversation by which the old saws are kept open and we mull over injustice, resentment, like a cancer inside ourselves. And Benedict says, all this out. He knows it's no good just lopping it off at the top, the sort of shortcut gardening. You must root it up because, he says, beware of the thorns of contention. And again, another good phrase, because we all know how thorns choke the new, young, green growth. So forgive Renew the covenant. Begin over again. Bring it out into the open. Repressed anger is destructive.

[26:24]

Deal with it. Deal with it here and now. But he also knows that forgiveness isn't as easy as it seems. He knows that we may have to forgive time and time and time again. And in a world which likes quick answers and easy solutions. It's no bad thing to be reminded that this matter of healing of hearts is a slow business, not one simple one-time act of the will. But it is absolutely essential. Not even saints can live with saints on this earth without some anguish, writes Thomas Merton, and I've no doubt again that he must write that out of his own personal experience of community life.

[27:28]

As long as we are on earth, the love that unites us will also bring us suffering by our very contact with one another. And so, because of this, he describes love, shared love, love in family, love in community, as being the resetting of a body of broken bones. which is a phrase that I rather like. And I like it because it is also again shows us just how demanding and costly it's going to be resetting bones. But again, how much Benedict knows in giving this central place to forgiveness, however demanding and however costly.

[28:41]

And how really essential it is. We can only be healed through forgiveness. We can only gain freedom through forgiveness. That again is something that I found in Jean Vanier, in that very amazing book that he's written, Community and Growth, which tells us so much, so much that he is wise there, coming out of his own experience of living in the large communities. And again, in my time in South Africa, how much I discovered South Africans know about forgiveness. There's an African joke, story, about forgiveness. Father, I've sinned again. God, I don't remember the first time. And Stephen Biko, El Redstabas, tells us constantly

[29:51]

eschewed any hatred, bitterness or resentment, because he would laugh and say, these take too much time, I haven't enough energy. Or another African in prison without trial in Namibia, spending years in solitary confinement and undergoing torture, wrote this. Forgiveness means to me a new start in a hopeless situation so that the things of the past no longer control the actions of the present. Forgiveness is a breakthrough from the darkness of hate into the light of love.

[30:56]

When I started to forgive, I could feel the release inside me. To forgive means that I have to look inside of myself and I have to see where I can change. And this is so, asked so much of us, that we need the power of the Holy Spirit to be able to open up like that. We need the confidence of the knowledge of a loving father who is always ready to forgive, who stands there, the figure of the father, forgiving, accepting, and bringing home the prodigal with unconditional forgiveness, unconditional love, and un...

[32:18]

conditional acceptance. So love, this whole matter of loving, is both tender and tough. The two are actually juxtaposed at one point in the rule in two consecutive chapters. And one of the things that is often the most tough for us to live out in loving relationships is to admit the limitations of loving, the limitations of our means of helping another.

[33:19]

In chapter 21, when we're shown the case of a brother who wants to leave the monastery, the abbot And that is each of us in a comparable situation in our own lives, hands him over. knows that there comes a time, an appropriate time, when it is right to draw back, to disappear, and instead to hand over the person that one loves, to leave him in other hands, the hands of those who can handle it better than we can ourselves. Now it's very difficult, very often, to live out a love which lets the other go free.

[34:22]

And yet, it is immensely wise to recognize this. The best thing we can do for those we love is To help them to escape from us is what Baron von Hugo once said. And that is a real action of love. It comes out of deep caring and concern. It comes out of the recognition of the other as that unique creation whom we cannot hope, must not hope, to in any way control. possess, manipulate. To love someone is to allow that person to exist and to withdraw so that the other may increase.

[35:33]

I think we can see it, those of us who are parents, with particular clarity in the case of our children. And there are those lines of C. Day Lewis writing about the relationship between parents and children. Selfhood begins with a walking away and love is proved in the letting go. But we also have to live it out in other relationships too. Between husband and wife. Between friends. in a parish, in a teaching situation, wherever it may be. There's a very nice Celtic blessing which comes to mind when I'm talking about this.

[36:39]

A Celtic mother has Perhaps she's in there at a Hebrides, watches her sons and daughters. The time comes that they must leave home. And she sends them out with a blessing that is almost a physical blessing. Be the great God between thy two shoulders to protect thee in thy coming and in thy going and the Spirit on thee ever pouring. And the paradox is, as mothers come to know, that if we have the courage to let our sons go free without manipulation, without trying to play games, then at some time we shall find one another again on a level that we could never have imagined.

[37:51]

And so this is the final point. that I'm making this evening that Benedict knows about loving and letting go. And that is, after all, at the heart of God's love for each of us and God's love for the world. Loving and letting go is an expression of love at its fullest and at its truest. God loving to the uttermost and then letting go his very own Son holds out to us all the possibility of being the recipient of that very same love. Because it is the mark of the very greatest respect

[38:53]

that God can show to us to give us the freedom to accept or to reject his love. And so, a love which frees, a love which forgives, comes out of that very simple starting point, the deep reverence, respect, handling with care that we show to each person as the unique creature, creation of a God who is himself love. Well, perhaps if somebody has something they want to discuss, I'll sit here between now and 8.15, so that if anyone wants to, they come and find me here.

[40:11]

Otherwise, people can just walk off in. Yes. I'll unhook myself. Benedict's idea of rooting, well, of forgiveness, of rooting the thorns of bitterness off by the roots. It's an image, I think, that comes from one of the pastoral roots of bitterness. It's been the experience of a lot of, I mean, it's been the experience here and other monasteries where I've talked to people, that a lot of the traditional forms we seem to inherit, like Chapter of Faults, in fact, don't seem to do a very good job of that. Everybody seems to wonder about that one. How exactly do we arrive at forgiveness and reconciliation in community life? Well, you see, luckily my brief is only to know about the text of the rule.

[41:17]

Mercifully, I don't know about monasticism, much less having any brief to tell any monastic community how it should live out its life. I just suppose that really what we hang on to is the recognition that It's the approach, the inward disposition, which means that true forgiveness has to go very, very, very deep. I think if most of us are honest, it is really deeply shocking. how difficult it is to forgive and how admitting that is so far removed from the sort of person that I actually would rather like to think I am.

[42:26]

So this whole question of forgiveness is really a very tough one to deal with. But this notion of, or notion of a practice of, what he said, you know, what then is under the disciplinary rule, we don't still, we aren't able to apply that discipline anymore. It's a real problem. And here is how we replace that with something which is central, which is on a crystal. You have to do what I've done. Because we don't, you know, he said it at one place, that you don't excommunicate someone who doesn't recognize it seriously and so forth.

[43:29]

But that happened. And I don't think anybody does today. Most people enjoy being by themselves. Being equal at a certain time just doesn't have to be a question. It has to be a day when many were doing the opposite, had some money, was ashamed of their defaults, something went wrong. But this is a very hard space to recognize that. So I mean, I think it was helpful for them to recognize, even though he admits at some point, somebody is so sick that they can't recognize it. But that's one of the things that we all labor with, is how do you begin that process of correction in a way that seemed like Benedict did it for his lungs?

[44:35]

But once in a while, you do get the notion that some of these monks were a little less sophisticated. I mean, if he could let the seniors have the dinner by themselves without somebody watching the kids, it would be like a food fight. It's a little bit like college. But anyway, it's a real bit of both. Because it was a stunting group of very beautiful, powerful, And we just don't seem to have a fit. It's not that difficult to be. Some of the French community did try things like that. I don't know of any place other than, and it's been solved, and it's time to get the understanding and support of the correct ones. We certainly don't have anything really that we could offers animals as well.

[45:39]

Well, I can only make a sort of parallel with family life and say, in my experience, this is really one of the most difficult things to get right. And I guess one just holds on to the ideal and the whole purpose and the sort of disposition of the heart and the sense of direction which is towards healing and freeing and make sure that we don't sort of get trapped into anything which might short-circuit that or be negative. And just, Rene, try not to lose sight of the end. Because we have been around a time when it appears to be a benedictine truth, sometimes today in quotes that God is not exactly what he was in Benedict's time,

[46:52]

as he is today in our time. In Benedict's time, I think in the culture of Benedict's time, God was at the center of all things to all people. Whereas today, God is somewhat remote from our lives. it's rather difficult to apply discipline if it's all that is idea of God, power, that is a God. It's difficult to apply that today. I'd say that even if you look at the marketplace, if you look at a workplace, where it seems to be there's no cohesion. you know, in office settings, if you don't have a boss who maybe acts like an admin, then what I find is you have just, you know, cells, you have individual cells walking around an office, and very often it kind of goes into residual bitterness and petty fighting and jealousies, and because there's no one at the top, kind of just demanding

[48:15]

And what I find is that there really is no sense of community. And you're there every day for eight and a half, nine and a half hours, sometimes longer. And trying to work in that community with any kind of spirit of, what can you do? Do you approach everyone and say, you know, have I hurt you? It's just this numb approach that I think is brought in that kind of circumstance. And I've experienced that in a couple of jobs. You just kind of feel at a loss. And yet, what you're talking about, you can see that it's that wrong, there's a lot of forgiveness that's needed, there's a lot of hurt, there's all kinds of things that are flowing through the office that are not being addressed. And yet, it crumbs out this kind of person-to-person connection and respect and reverence and all the things that you've been discussing today. And I tell you, that's some of the toughest stuff I've seen.

[49:21]

Because it's very much what I've seen, it's I've got mine, you get yours. You know, it's kind of the attitude that you face, and getting somehow focused on one, you know, you were talking about some commonality of interest. You know, if you had a central faith or spirit or something like that that might have existed back then, it's just, there's nothing there, you should go and get the individual. In an elastic setting, I was particularly amiable to an elastic setting, because even in modern monasticism, I think we have moved away from the perception of what Benedict was thinking, perhaps, in a way that we may interpret and apply only to others. to what was written in the states of mind.

[50:28]

So what might have been made an error of interpreting something which was extremely simple and complicated yet beyond recognition? And so a simple thing is so complicated now. And on the work of that in our Western culture, we re-qualify it to our lives. Are you saying that if God were seen as truly central, then something like forgiveness would be much simpler? What? If God were truly central, then something like forgiveness would be much simpler? If God were central to our lives, yes, then I think it would be much simpler. Somewhere, a while back, I read that, I didn't seem to remember, Just think well of the other people still, who never tried to hurt me, and turn a blind eye to the ones that look up.

[51:36]

If they need something I want to do, whatever I do to help them, I'll do it for them. Bad and funny, grossly as they're hidden. That's not bad advice. And what about the dormant possibilities? I don't necessarily agree with you. Again, again, again. I just think there's a massivism. I think, too, there's a tendency sometimes not to let the other person grow. with the world path that I've heard of occurred, you know, a long time ago, so I couldn't see the question, I knew. I was thinking about my life, and like you said, I've talked about it.

[52:42]

I haven't existed for some time, and I found an atmosphere where everybody down there puts themselves in a great deal of difference. this sort of miraculous development in that one of our colleagues became ill with AIDS. And it transformed the whole community into a community of profound love for one another, trying to help this person, admiring his tenacity and his will. And we've been sort of mourning ahead of time. And when it finally happened, the grief was profound. Vicki, the whole group was transformed by this kind of suffering. And the forgiveness that was involved in the treatment, I don't think. It was all for God when people would foil all of themselves trying to be kind and generous and loving. I was amazed at what happened. That's very moving.

[53:46]

Thank you for telling us that. You cannot give them what you do not have. You have not known to give them what you cannot give them. And that's what all that you gave to me, that I might, to me, sometimes would try to mention. If I know that I should miss the call, that does something to me, that activates me in my goal, that forgiveness comes. It's like the child of the father of a mother, as I experience forgiveness from a parent. So, when I heard you speaking in my house, then came, then came another kid,

[54:51]

Which is why... The prayer of the novice is so significant, saying, Shushupi me, accept me, O Lord, because it's only accepting oneself and then loving oneself, taking on board what is almost impossible to take on board, the idea of unconditional love, and then forgiving oneself. All these flow, don't they, from exactly from one's own recognizing one's own worth and celebrating that with endless gratitude for the amazing generosity of the God who loves, accepts and forgives us and decides that well with utter abundance that we can then in turn hand it back

[55:57]

There's a quotation that states that our love of God is the love of a person we love at least. You can't forgive that person or love that person, it shows a lesser degree of love for God. When I was in the facility next to me, maybe there was something wrong with me, but I never had a hard time forgiving people. I have a very kind father and mother, and the only person we hurt if you don't forgive is yourself. Just admit that you're wrong, or just say that you love the person, or accept them for the way they are. It's just easy to say that, but if you hurt her or her feelings, you're only hurting yourself. Certainly failure to forgive leaves us in chains, doesn't it, to the past, and let's not be.

[57:10]

And those go together, don't they? In the Gospel, Christ just always, you know, forgives a person and sets them free and say, you know, now you're forgiven. Go out with energy to to do my work in the world. Makes you free. I found it rather encouraging that you made it sound like it's a process of forgiveness. Because we want, I think we want to give, because we want to get rid of the burden of not forgiving. easy sometimes, especially when one feels betrayed, particularly in the case when you're mentioning Thomas Merton and that special place that we have within ourselves. And when someone tries to intrude upon that place, it feels almost like a wake.

[58:15]

When I interpret it as a process, I wonder sometimes if you forgive that you have to open yourself again to a person who is not aware of what they've done. Well, can you work toward perhaps a more total forgiveness? It's always very difficult, isn't it, to hold the right position between being really vulnerable and open and yet a very proper self-protection which doesn't allow oneself to be raped again. One wants to be open because it's so joyous to be open. And it's very unpleasant to be on the defensive, to think I don't know where to live.

[59:21]

But to have, as you say, that balance in between. In the Benedictine tradition itself, I think it's something very helpful, because forgiveness can also relate to confrontation, as you mentioned. I mean, there is that tradition of confronting, disciplining, confronting good and bad, to cauterize and manipulate. But some people will not be confronted. They are in denial. And they are left in a sort of a field of exile, and they're back and trying to do that to struggle and work through this. There are some people who will not, well, maybe they can't see at that much of a requirement.

[60:27]

Yes, but peace with Benedict is really tough, isn't it? No, no, you know, don't give the kids peace unless, you know. Admit your enemies. Drag it out to the open. Face it, because otherwise you're not doing anybody any good. And work through it. What's left of the record's filling? And so not giving a false piece is one of the instincts of good works, accounts of color over things that aren't really easy. It's difficult, but it's necessary for the upcoming person. It comes back to this honesty again. No shortcuts, no easy. Because otherwise, in a sense, we're saying that person who cannot And some people can't be. There's an injury in the men in AA. Somebody asked him about the program and he said, well about half the people who really hinder it will get well.

[61:34]

And about a quarter of them will stumble and bump into walls and fall off the wagon and so forth, but they'll make it. But a quarter of them won't make it. that because they can't be honest with themselves, and that's tomorrow's reason, that we can't be honest with ourselves, there's no hope because other people can't do it, unfortunately. I mean, I respect them, which finally eventually gets through that stuff. But the wonderful thing about people who hope that not everybody will be saved, that Christ coming and really showing people love even in hell, all of a sudden recognizing something. We're built to respond, but there is that Satan is the father of lies, and this is a lie we just cannot be honest with ourselves. That takes a lot of forgiveness, too, on the part of others before we recognize we're not being honest. afraid to be honest with ourselves. And other people aren't that afraid, often, to be honest with us.

[62:36]

You can still support us, love us, and all that. We can admit it to ourselves. It's only in being free to recognize what we've done. We ask for forgiveness. We still allow what malice there was in our offense, right, in being free to be able to recognize. But of course, things can begin to be accepted. And it is a process. I think the situation, as I mentioned earlier, if you have someone up the chain, there's a lot of stuff that's kind of floating around because it's not being dealt with. And that's the kind of position you're in. Is it part of, I don't know, offended as a person who had a brother that feel he had been sent on a job, right? That's something about holding him out. You get a lot of depression. So I don't know in such a world that you come with, you know, a habit. But in a situation like that, that's kind of where you, you know, at least that's where I found myself.

[63:42]

It's my current situation, I'm in the same cell. Can you just forgive one side? Or do you have just to go and be fine? Yeah. Now, last floor, for those of you who are still on vacation, will be at 9 here, and then we'll have to come to the deck there. Well, we've made a terrific schedule. Mass tomorrow at 9 o'clock. Not 7.30, but 9 o'clock. People will not go later than they're scheduled. Thank you. About the balance between a phone number as well, as we all know how it's named, being open to other people's number as well, keeping our own.

[64:50]

It's rather pleasant in Cajun, making quite a span across Cajun. Thank you. I want to say thank you very much indeed, and I hope to have the opportunity again to have more women participate. I know, there's lots of them, they will want to play a bit better, and I think they might do better. I'm actually excited to see the students play, because I'm betting with my spirit. Thank you, I feel much safer. Right now? Pool now? Yes. Pool now? Yes. I'm excited to see you. Anyway, what's the rain? Do you want to go for a bite?

[65:50]

No, I'm good. Thank you very much. You're welcome.

[66:39]

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