Good morning. Welcome. So I wanted to talk this morning about fear and faith. So we just had an example of a fear that we couldn't all fit in one room, and the faith that allowed us to do that. We actually have two more seats for people to come in. Here we are. So we all have this new experience of fear. So some of us are afraid to go on planes now. Some of us may be afraid of the mail. I know some people who have been afraid to ride on the bridges. So maybe the terrorists have already won.

[01:05]

We're terrified. Maybe they could say, hey, we've won. That's all. You don't need to do anything else. But, of course, there is reasonable fear that worse may happen. So I wanted to talk about fear and ordinary fear, but this is also part of the fear that some of us are feeling at times these days. In Buddhism, there are five fears. In Buddhism, there are all these lists of five or six or eight or ten or whatever. So in some ways, all fears can be included in these five. So there's fear of loss of life, fear of death.

[02:06]

Maybe that's the main one we have now. And there's fear of loss of livelihood. I think that's around, too. And then there's fear of weird mental states, fear of going crazy or losing control. And in some ways, just by losing our usual sense of what the world is, we're in this new mental state. And the fourth one is fear of loss of reputation. So maybe you're aware of that. And the fifth one is fear of speaking in public, which some of you have. And all of these fears are very subtle. So as you all know, I'm not afraid to sit up here and babble every month. But in subtle ways, I'm concerned that I don't say things that mislead you

[03:10]

or bring you down too much, or concerned that I maybe can say something helpful or just wondering what I'm going to say next. So I think all of these fears have subtle, subtle aspects. So faith in Buddhism, which is what I really wanted to talk about today, as a response to fear, maybe, doesn't protect us from the things we're afraid of. Faith doesn't necessarily solve the problems. So some people may have faith that our government will protect us and our national security and somehow take care of the terrorists.

[04:15]

Or some people may be afraid of what our government might do while it's claiming to do that. So it's kind of subtle. And I think there's this funny relationship between faith and fear, and I don't know that I can say clearly what it is, but even if faith doesn't fix things, it does give us the strength to meet fear. To face fear. To sit upright in our lives and be willing to face, you know, with open eyes, our own feelings, including fear, anger, confusion, desires, outrage, dread, shock. Or just to sit and face the old St. Aidan's chairs, as we sit softly.

[05:16]

This is a kind of faith. So faith doesn't get rid of old age sickness and death. You know, the fear of the terrorists is one thing, but, you know, there are always terrible things that can happen, even when we don't have war and terrorists. People die, accidents happen, terrible things happen. So actually, the way our life is, is that it is impermanent. And fear is about something that hasn't happened yet. We're not afraid of something that's already happened. We may be unhappy about it. We may be sad or grieving about it. We may be shocked by it. Fear is about something that's actually not happening. But it's something that might happen, and we might have irrational fears of things that are very unlikely.

[06:18]

It's not likely that if I walk out of St. Aidan's, a cannon's going to fall out of the sky and land on top of me. It's not likely. Anything's possible. But all the things that we fear are things that might happen, and they might happen because we are aware of certain karmic situations, things that we've done in our life that might lead to something unfortunate happening, or things that our nation's done that might lead to something unfortunate happening, or something that somebody around the world has done that might lead to something unfortunate happening. It's not that we should just be in the present and ignore what may happen. Actually, the future is very related to what's happening now. But again, what we fear has not happened yet. In Buddhism, faith is not belief in something.

[07:26]

It's not belief in an object. It's kind of an activity or a presence. And again, it doesn't get rid of old age, sickness, and death. So, you know, the Four Noble Truths say that there is, we sometimes call it suffering, there is dissatisfaction, there is things happen that we don't like. And the second truth is that there's a cause for that, that is part of a web of, intricate web of causation that we can't exactly track. And the third truth is that there's an end to this suffering. But it's not that there's an end to old age, sickness, and death. So what is this suffering? I think it has to do with fear. I think it has to do with not being willing to face our fears, not being willing to face our life. The fourth truth is the path of how to move towards this faith,

[08:28]

how to act from this faith, how to be present with this faith. So again, faith is a kind of presence, a kind of activity, a way of being in Buddhism. It's not faith in something else. It's just sitting. It's taking the next inhale and the next exhale. Katagiri Roshi used to say, the truth to live is just to live. So if we can give our whole heart to being present in our life just as it is, if we can trust that this body, this mind, in this place and time is here,

[09:33]

and I can be there and give myself to this and be the person I am, and that in some ways that's okay, it's not going to protect me from Osama bin Laden, but it's okay to be right here now. So there are many stories about this in Buddhism. There are many writings about this. One of the stories that I like that I've been studying for years and am now writing about, working with, is a story in the Lotus Sutra. So I'm just going to take a little piece of this story actually. Now I'm afraid that the microphone is not clipped on the right place. The Buddha was preaching the Lotus Sutra at Vulture Peak,

[10:39]

and this was towards the end of his life. He announced that he was not going to live much longer. And various amazing things happened in this sutra, and I won't go into all of it now, but during the course of events he asks the disciples, which of you will keep this dharma, this teaching, this practice alive in the distant future evil age, he says. And he keeps asking them, and he asks different various great bodhisattvas. And I always hear this, you know, as the Buddha 2,500 years ago saying, in the future evil age, in the age of terrorists and nuclear waste and burnout from various things and homelessness. Anyway, I think of it in terms of this, and I think traditionally for thousands of years people have thought about the future evil age as this time they were in.

[11:41]

Anyway, he says, who's going to keep alive this teaching? Who's going to keep alive this lotus flower of the dharma? And in the assembly there, which was even more crowded than this room, there were spirits, many disciples and bodhisattvas and spirits as there are here. And there were also bodhisattvas who had come from distant galaxies far, far away because they heard the Lotus Sutra was being preached and they always show up whenever that happens. So anyway, some of these bodhisattvas said finally, oh, it's okay, Buddha, we'll take care of it. We'll come back and in the distant future evil age we'll bring this teaching to people at that time. And after all of those requests by Buddha, he then says, oh, no, you don't have to, it's okay. You don't need to do that. And then suddenly from out of the open space under the ground emerged thousands and millions and billions and even more ancient bodhisattvas,

[12:47]

great diligent bodhisattvas who had been practicing in this open space under the ground. And Buddha says, these people are always here practicing and they will keep alive this teaching. And they are great bodhisattvas and they've been practicing for a very long time. And I've trained them very well and they will continue. So please don't worry about anything. So just this image of the bodhisattvas coming out from under the ground I find intriguing and inspiring. What it means to me is that this possibility of helping beings, of being committed to everyone awakening, that this possibility of practicing diligently is right here all the time, under the ground, under our cushions. Our awakening arises from under these zazaputas. Maybe they come from under the tile floor, I don't know.

[13:49]

But anyway, somehow this is not just about something that happened in northern India 2,500 years ago. It's about how we find, or how we are given, or how we can face this possibility of acting beneficently, acting well, helping each other, sharing this practice of awakening. So in the ground of our own being, in this body and mind, this is where the awakening comes from. So I could say a whole lot more about that story, but maybe I won't now. Maybe some other time. But this image again of awakening being right here, in this place, in the openness, in the awareness, in the possibility of keeping our eyes and hearts open right now,

[14:55]

is where this arises from. So actually, to be in a difficult time is a great joy for a bodhisattva. As difficult and scary as these times are, it's really a wonderful opportunity. We're very fortunate to be practicing now. Because when situations are very critical, that's when the bodhisattvas can make a very big difference. So these other bodhisattvas, when they come from this distant galaxy to Earth, to the Buddha field of Shakyamuni Buddha, which is known as the Buddha Land of Endurance, because it's hard to endure, they're warned by their Buddha on that distant galaxy, you should be very respectful, even though those bodhisattvas in Shakyamuni's Buddha field are kind of puny, and they don't look so good, and you're going to have to kind of shrink down to be able to meet them.

[15:59]

But actually they're practicing in this very difficult situation. So I feel like our practice now can make a very big difference. And yet, how that is, how that faith is, that we can continue to pay attention to our life and to the world around us, is something very natural. So I'm going to read from Hongzhe, a Chinese citizen teacher from the 12th century, in Cultivating the Empty Field. And he conveys the naturalness of this kind of awareness. He says, A person of the way fundamentally does not dwell anywhere. The white clouds are fascinated with the green mountains' foundation. The bright moon cherishes being carried along with the flowing water.

[17:06]

The clouds part and the mountain appears. The moon sets and the water is cool. Every bit of autumn contains vast interpenetration without bounds. Each dust is whole without reaching me. The ten thousand changes are stilled without shaking me. If you can sit here with stability, then you can freely step across and engage the world with energy. There is an excellent saying that the six sense doors are not veiled. The highways in all directions have no footprints. Always arriving everywhere without being confused, gentle, without hesitation. The person on the path knows where to go. So this is an expression of what faith means in Buddhism. And it's just like the reflection of the bright moon being carried along in the flowing water. The clouds part and the mountain appears.

[18:10]

It may be easier to see this in Bolinas than in San Francisco, but nature is actually everywhere. Just one more of his sayings. In the wind abode, clouds and dragons harmoniously follow each other. Very naturally from the first, they do not need to express their intentions to each other. Similarly, Zen practitioners are accommodating and based on causes and conditions can harmoniously practice together. Arriving without display, emerging unconcealed. The wondrous clouds and dragons enter the whole scene and cannot be confused. Casually hanging above the 10,000 features, each distinctly presents a spectacular image. Complete without a hair's difference between them, springing forth with spontaneity. They clearly exemplify coming home,

[19:13]

but still must investigate until they have eaten their fill. Clouds disperse and winds die down. The autumn sky clears and the moon sets. The waters of heaven are limitless. Where the ground is on its own, the brightness begins to be realized. So this is the practice of faith in Buddhism. Thank you. So going back to fear, President Roosevelt said, all we have to fear is fear itself. So the point is that it's okay to be afraid, actually. We are all afraid sometimes. And faith is just the faith to face our fears, to be present with our fears, to be willing to admit, oh, I'm afraid.

[20:18]

To not be afraid, to be afraid. Again, faith is not necessarily going to guarantee that we will be safe and protected, but it allows us to be present. And then, actually, we can respond. And actually, it does change things. So sometimes people express Buddhist faith by doing this practice or ceremony of taking refuge, taking refuge in Buddha. And we're actually going to do a ceremony the first Saturday in January. Instead of our monthly balena sitting, we'll have a sitting the first Saturday in January in San Francisco at St. James Episcopal Church on California Street, where we sit Wednesday nights. So we'll do basically the same schedule we do here most months.

[21:22]

But in the afternoon, there'll be a ceremony of lay ordination and several people taking refuge. And everyone's invited. And this taking refuge, you know, it doesn't, refuge in Buddha, it doesn't mean, you know, a sanctuary or the safety net, that nothing bad will ever happen. It's deeper than that. So refuge is a kind of coming back home to our deepest self, coming back home to the self that's not afraid to be afraid, coming back home to the self that has faith that we can be here in this situation right now, that somehow we can all fit in this room and everybody has a seat. So it's a kind of direction, you know, whether or not you do that particular ceremony.

[22:35]

For some people it's helpful to do that ceremony. But to turn towards how can I just be upright in the middle of my life? How can I be the most Buddhaful me I am? Which means, of course, always still making mistakes. It's not about being perfect. It's about being human. Being this human, even. So it's kind of active, you know, it's a turning within that doesn't separate us from outside. It's a turning without that sees the Buddha in everyone else too. As difficult as that often is. And it's a direction, a path that we actually can move on and towards.

[23:41]

And then we have this practice of precepts which give us specific guidances about how to find our way back to the path as we walk. As we wobble around in this fragile human life. Muhammad Ali wrote a letter to a student where I taught about what I wrote about him in the Bodhisattva Archetype book. And he was like the first exemplar of Shakyamuni. It's a beautiful letter. I'm sorry I don't have it right here. But he talked about how he's tried to find his way as he's transgressed through life. That's a beautiful expression of precepts. So, again, we do our best and bad things happen and we actually do bad things sometimes. And we try and do our best to take care of that.

[24:50]

So, again, this faith is, you know, in popular Buddhism, there's a way in which it's expressed as if, you know, have faith in Buddha or have faith in Bodhisattvas and they will protect you from terrorists. So, in the Lotus Sutra, there's a chapter about the Bodhisattva of Compassion. And we'll chant that actually as part of our noon service. And it says that if you just call on the name of the Bodhisattva of Compassion, if you're being attacked by muggers, or if you're in the middle of a fire, or if you're drowning, or if you're about to be executed, if you're in prison, if you're being beset by lawyers, if terrorists are coming after you, if your plane's been hijacked and about to fly into a building, just call, it doesn't say that, but that's the spirit of it, just call on Kanzeon and you will be saved and she will come running to you and all of that.

[25:55]

And so, you know, I think it's chanted in a way that could be understood popularly as, you know, literally if you do that. And there are actually many folk stories about people who were saved by chanting this. But I think the spirit of it is more important, that when we return to our own heart of compassion, to hear the world around us, to remember this possibility of Bodhisattva activity, that there's some way in which it's okay. So we'll see how you feel about this when we chant it today. So in Zen we emphasize not some particular doctrine or teaching or understanding about things,

[27:12]

but the actual experience of how the teaching works in our everyday life, in our everyday activity. And of course it may be helpful to read sutras or Zen stories and consider them, but the point of that is actually to encourage you to trust your own life. The truth to live is just to live. To actually be willing to be the person you are. To try to take care of yourself and the world around you in a way that... in the best way you can. And to be willing to be afraid and to be willing to make mistakes and to enjoy that we can do this.

[28:13]

So there's a kind of... the strength that comes from this kind of faith is kind of subtle, and it can be very wonderful to actually be willing to be the person you are. Sit upright, not in some idea of who you are either, because often when we have some idea of who we are, which we all do, then that gets turned upside down. So to be willing to be the person just sitting here on this cushion, inhaling and exhaling. This is how we find this. So I'll close with one of these short talks by Dogen that I've been translating, and I think I've probably... many of you have heard me read this one before, but it seemed appropriate. The courage of a fisherman is to enter the water without avoiding deep sea dragons.

[29:22]

The courage of a hunter is to travel the earth without avoiding tigers. The courage of a warrior is to face the drawn sword before him and see death as just like life. What is the courage of a Zen practitioner? After a pause, Dogen said, spread out your bedding and sleep. Set out your bowls and eat rice. Exhale through your nostrils. Radiate light from your eyes. Do you know there is something that goes beyond? With vitality, just eat lots of rice and then use the toilet. Transcend your personal prediction of future Buddhahood from Gautama. So in the Lotus Sutra, Buddha says that anybody who hears just a line of this sutra and enjoys it

[30:29]

will definitely be a Buddha in the future. And so, even though you may have enjoyed a line of the Dharma and can therefore know that you will be a Buddha in the future, don't worry about that. Get over it. Just enjoy this life as it is, this day, this week. This is faith in Buddhism. So maybe I've babbled enough. Does anybody have any comments or anything else to share? Gary? Could you say that again?

[31:32]

What is the quality of one's development? ...are afraid to receive. So I would say that the faith is not just removing the resistance, but actually first, the practice of faith is to just watch the resistance. To be present and aware and just to see it. And when we look at it closely enough, it will eventually dissipate. Did you have something to say about it, Gary? Well, the thought I had was to come into the context of what's going on.

[32:52]

Politics is rattling around in my head in relation to the practice. And the practice of the practice of the Dharma. I think today, from the disturbance of politics... Good book. I want to... Go ahead. When we decide that the greatest fear is the fear of self,

[34:11]

and I think it explicates where that real fear is, but at the same time, it's difficult to be conscious of power and fear for our lives. It seems to me it's not about thinking about it, although that's certainly part of the process. There's a practice of living confronting. That's what we do. We live in such a way that we confront our fear. So I can sit here and think about it, but I don't really... It's not helpful to me how fear affects me, how it causes me to think about it. Yeah, I think there are different practices of this. So you talk about it in terms of confronting fear, and I think some of us have that style. That's one style of practice. So it's actually, maybe that's more like the warrior, the spiritual warrior, to actually confront our fear. Another way might be much more gentle,

[35:15]

just to meet our fear, to observe our fear. I'm not saying... It's not that one way is better than another. There's a whole range in there. But sitting still, sitting upright, is about being present with whatever comes up, including our fear. And we may be afraid of our fear and have various resistances or barriers that we have to actually just seeing our fears. And sometimes, for some people, kind of confronting that, beating down those barriers, beating down those resistances, would be one way to meet fear. And for other people, just slowly, gently, being willing to, a little at a time, admit to oneself those fears. So there's a range of how we practice with it, and it's different for different people and different for each of us at different times. But, yeah, the point is just to be willing to face it.

[36:18]

And we sometimes may need to try different styles, too. I was caught by... Buddha Sutra. The different Buddhas come from galaxies. I'd like to finish my conclusion, but it sort of struck me that other lives, other states, so the Buddhas from other galaxies were looking at the Buddha here in the United Silk Community, or whatever the words mean. And I was sort of struck by how it is to be a Buddha here. I don't know. I'm just thinking a lot that we have certain conditions here that might be different from the other Buddhas I know, and that to be a Buddha

[37:21]

is to sit in front of all those conditions. But I'm not sure what you can do about it, because it's not about doing, it's about facing the conditions that we write not here, which may be concrete and even closer. But it's not about doing. So it may include... In fact, it usually does include that we respond in some way. So it's not passive. I mean, it might be being not passive as a pacifist. It might be. It might be not being passive as a soldier, but to... First of all, the starting point is just to face what's going on. And then the Bodhisattva actually responds in some way or acts in some way. And it might be by sitting still on a mountaintop for 30 years, or it might be going into the streets and demonstrating, or it might be all kinds of things.

[38:23]

It might be taking care of your family well. So it's not passive. But it starts with just watching, just being present in the middle of it. Yes, and actually the practice is starts with stopping. So we all have habits of doing in the world based on our fears, based on trying to get, you know, the things we want, based on becoming the person we want, and so forth and all of that. We have habits of doing. So the first thing is just to stop and take a breath and sit still and sit upright and pay attention in this deeper way. And then from there we go back to doing

[39:25]

in whatever way that seems appropriate, and we make mistakes and we learn from them. And sometimes we're afraid, and we don't know what to do, and we want somebody to tell us what to do. And we're afraid of doing the wrong thing, as if there was a wrong thing. Or we think we should be doing the right thing, as if there was one right thing. So, you know, in that situation, just come back and pay attention. Breathe again. And this is the practice of faith. Returning again and again to just what is it like to be here? And from that, then trying to see if there's something helpful to do. Thank you.

[40:49]

Understanding that all of it may be helpful when we don't see it as a possibility. We all need to understand that our work here now is to recognize that, and to acknowledge that. We can't come in here looking at it because we're afraid to do it. We need to be able to do it. And we have to come back to it. Yeah, thank you, Pam, for adding that. That's an important point, and that's... So I didn't get into the story about the bodhisattvas on the ground, but there's definitely a shamanic aspect to that. That we... It's not that we have to figure out what to do, you know. It's there, already, in the ground. And the water, and the air, and the fire, too. And partly I was first attracted to that story because of how similar it is to the story of Chief Seattle

[42:22]

in his speech, which you may know about. And there's questions, scholarly questions, about how accurate that speech, whether that speech was ever given, although it does express Native American views of this land. So I think it's very relevant to the bodhisattvas under the ground because he said that, as he was surrendering, finally, to the white men, he said that in the distant future, when you think we're all gone, that the spirits of Native warriors and Native peoples will be in the ground and will emerge and rise up and educate your grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren about the reality of this land. So it's not about figuring out something. There is assistance available. There are lots of spiritual traditions available. And it's there in the world around us.

[43:23]

And if we, as Gary said, let go of our resistances to what we wish for, actually, and allow this truth to be present, the bodhisattva is more like a channel receiving energy and passing it along. So you don't have to start from zero. We have this tradition with many tools and many ways of expressing this and resources. So it's there to be used. And... Openly, we want to... We want to...

[44:27]

There are... Not only... That between the bodhisattvas, the bodhisattvas and the bodhisattvas, we want to understand... That... What is the health of the universe? Yeah, the earth is enough. Everything we need is right here. There are ways of getting the energy we need. There are ways of living. On earth. And someday they'll look back and wonder at this. So we don't need to build pipelines to the Caspian oil reserves across Afghanistan to get the energy we need. But anyway,

[45:28]

we're living in difficult times, so this is very fortunate for us. So let's close with the bodhisattva vows.

[45:36]

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