Morning. Welcome. So this morning, as usual, I'm going to talk about Zazen, and I'm going to talk about it in terms of some stories in the tradition of the Soto, or actually in this case, the Caodong, the Chinese Soto school, and about the practice of Zazen as the practice of suchness or thusness. So I'll start off with this basic story about Dongshan, who is the founder of Soto Zazen in China. He was the one who authored the Song of the Precious Marrow Samadhis. We've been studying that Wednesday mornings in San Rafael. We've

[01:01]

been going through the lineage from the sixth ancestor to Dongshan Wednesday evenings. So this is in some ways a follow-up on that, but also kind of giving the essence of these stories. So when Dongshan was ready to leave his teacher, Yunyan, Dongshan said, later on, if someone asks me if I can describe your reality or your teaching, how shall I reply? That's kind of a funny question because it could also be read as, if someone asks me if I have your picture, because back then they passed pictures of the teachers as a sign of transmission. But it also could be read as, the question really means, if someone asks, how can I express, how can I

[02:06]

describe your reality, your Dharma, your teaching? And Yunyan paused and said, just this is it. That's what I want to talk about this morning. Just this is it. Can you all hear me okay? So when he heard that, Dongshan kind of sank into thought and Yunyan said, you are in charge of this great matter. You must be most thorough going. So in the beginning of the Song of the Precious Mara Samadhi, which we'll chant for our noon service, it says, now you have it. Preserve it well. This is the same thing. Begins the Dharma of suchness or thusness is intimately transmitted by Buddhas and ancestors. Now you have it. Preserve it well. Take care of it. So our practice is not

[03:10]

about getting something. It's about taking care of something that we already have. Now that you've heard this, now you have it. So our practice is, how do we take care of this, and this, and just this? So Dongshan left and seemed to be still perplexed. He didn't quite get it. And later on, he was wading across a stream and he saw his reflection. And then he had some understanding. So there's a picture of this. Somebody that was there to paint Dongshan's picture. So that's he looked down in the stream as he was wading across and saw it. And then he wrote this poem that says, just don't seek from others or you'll be far estranged from yourself. Now I go on alone,

[04:17]

everywhere I meet it. It now is me. I now am not it. So this is also in the Song of the Precious Merasamadhi. You are not it, it actually is you. This poem goes on. One must understand in this way to merge with suchness. Just seek, don't seek from others or you'll be far estranged from yourself. Now I go on alone, everywhere I meet it. It now is me. I now am not it. There's a few different translations of it. This one says, earnestly avoid seeking without, lest it recede far from you. So our basic practice is to turn the light within. We sit and we are aware of

[05:18]

our breathing and we are aware of our posture and we feel the tension in our chest or in our lower back or in our shoulders. We feel our breathing in our legs and in our abdomen and in our nose and mouth. We turn the tension within. Then it goes on. Today I walk on alone. Today I practice alone. Yet everywhere I meet him. So this pronoun it could also be read as him. So it's also talking about Dongshan's teacher, but it's also talking about just this. He is now no other than me, but I am now not him. It must be understood in this way in order to merge with suchness. So this basic story about just this is I think very important in our practice. Just this is that. Later on, Dongshan was doing the monthly memorial service for his teacher,

[06:20]

Yunyan, when he had a community and he was presenting offerings before the image of Yunyan and he told the story. And a monk came forward and said, when Yunyan said, just this is it, what did he mean? Dongshan said, at that time, I nearly misunderstood my late teacher's meaning. The monks then asked, did Yunyan himself know it is or not? And Dongshan said, if he did not know it is, how could he be able to say this? If he did know it is, how would he be willing to say this? So to say just this is it is too much. So I apologize to all of you for telling you this. I'm sorry. I am poisoning you with this information that you

[07:29]

already know very deeply. So I also want to read a little commentary on it by Dogen, one of his very last teachings about the same story. It doesn't add so much, but it's another way of telling it. So one day in his 52nd year, Dogen said, I can remember great teacher Dongshan when making offerings to the portrait of his teacher Yunyan, related the story about portraying Yunyan's reality. Then a monk asked, what was the meaning of Yunyan saying just this is it? Dongshan said, at that time, I nearly misunderstood my late teacher's meaning. The monk said, it's not yet clear. Did Yunyan know it is or not? Dongshan said, if he did not know it is,

[08:37]

how could he have understood to speak thus? If he did know it is, how would he be willing to speak thus? Then after a pause, Dogen said, how could he have understood to speak thus? A bright star appears and the great thousand worlds bright. How would he be willing to speak thus? Chicken foot mountain opens and Mahakasyapa is aged. So chicken foot mountain is the mountain in northern India where the second ancestor, the first, the ancestor after Shakyamuni Buddha, Mahakasyapa supposedly is sitting in the mountain and waiting for the next Buddha Maitreya. And when Maitreya comes, Mahakasyapa will come out of the mountain and give Shakyamuni's robe and to Maitreya. That's the chicken foot mountain. So Dogen says, how would he be willing to speak

[09:37]

thus? Chicken foot mountain opens and Mahakasyapa is aged. The ancient mirror is round and bright, illuminating upright and inclined. So here we get deep into Buddhist, such as an expression of Buddhist, deepest philosophy. The ancient mirror is, we chant the song of the precious mirror, same mirror. The ancient mirror is always here. The ancient mirror is in our hands when we sit sasan. The ancient mirror is the wall in front of you or the chairs if you're in a church. The ancient mirror is as wide as your sitting cushion. The ancient mirror is not somewhere else. Dogen says the ancient mirror is round and bright, illuminating upright and inclined. So these are

[10:41]

the two sides of our practice. And upright and inclined is a nice way to talk about them actually, but we can also talk about them as the universal and the particular or the ultimate and the phenomenal or sometimes they say absolute and relative or host and guest. So in our zazen we study uprightness. We sit and feel how it is to be present and upright in this body and mind. And then we get up and sometimes we feel like we need, like we're a little bent over, you know. But basically this is the relationship between emptiness, the ultimate truth, and compassion. So our practice is a balance of wisdom and compassion. There's a Tibetan book called Kindly Bent to Ease Us, which captures the title, I think, captures the feeling of inclined. So we

[11:43]

enter into, from experience of the upright, from experience of the true, we enter into this skin bag, this body and mind, this situation, March 2002 in the Bay Area or Belenus or wherever you are. And in the phenomenal world, in the world of the inclined, we are willing to be completely deluded. We are willing to actually even just be a human being, as nauseating as that is sometimes. So Dogen says, and he's actually paraphrasing a verse commentary by Hongzhe in the book of Serenity, but he says, the ancient mirror is round and bright, illuminating upright

[12:46]

and inclined. The mysterious mechanism revolves on high, both naturally arriving within together. So the mysterious mechanism is, we could say, the wondrous workings of reality, the wondrous workings of just this is it. And it's a great mystery and it's working right now. It's in operation in the world, in our life, in the blossoming of the buds on trees. So it says, the mysterious mechanism or the wondrous opportunity or the wondrous workings revolves on high, both naturally arriving within together. So this both is the inclined and upright,

[13:48]

the emptiness of all things, the sameness of all things and the particular. And this is actually referring to the Soto teaching of five ranks, which I won't go into in detail now. But the way that these two sides of our reality and of our practice work, there's five aspects of that. And the fifth is, they're both there together and there's actually no difference. Nirvana is right in samsara. We can express the truth of this upright sitting right in our everyday activity. This is what our practice is about. And it's especially so for us living in the world, immersed in the usual mess of greed, hate and delusion. And yet we enter that from this possibility of uprightness, from this experience of just this is it. And it makes a difference.

[14:54]

Dogen goes on to say, for many kalpas, their family style continues. The voice of father and son is boundlessly radiant. So of course now it's also mother and daughter, but Dongshan and Yunyan both happen to be male. So I want to say a little more about this specifically in terms of how to practice it in zazen. So again, it's just this is it. So as we're sitting, it's pretty usual for people to come to zazen and want to get something out of it. Zazen can be therapeutic in various ways. Or we can have experiences of whatever, of insight, of awareness. Even flashy experiences happen sometimes of realization or whatever. But that's not really zazen. That's not the zazen of

[16:06]

the Buddhist ancestors. It's okay if you benefit from zazen. It's okay if you feel better. It's okay if you have some flashy experience. It's not terrible. It's all right. But that's not the point. In fact, if you can, you know, if zazen helps you therapeutically, or if a therapist helps you therapeutically, or if your life helps you to be more fully in your life, that's great. Please do that. But zazen is about something else. It's about just this. In Sanskrit, it's called tatata. Pretty funny word. I won't say it again because I'll start laughing. Anyway, that's it. This is it. Just this. So, one of the things that happens sometimes in between all of the tapes that are rumbling around

[17:10]

in your mind and all of the sounds, frumbliness or wherever you are, is that you are just there. So, actually, there's no such thing as good or bad zazen. You may think that, oh, that period was really good or that period was terrible. You may have those delusions. But actually, just to be there, just this is actually there. And you may not realize it. You may not understand it. You may not know it. You may not feel it. But please don't get in the way of the one who does feel it. So, how to practice this, how to actually face the wall or the chair or whatever, eyes open, facing what's in front of you. And one way to do that that you can do in this just

[18:12]

sitting with just this is actually to use that as a mantra. So, I find mantras more helpful, actually, when I get off the cushion and I'm walking around and getting distracted by all of the wonderful craziness of the world. But you can also do it while you're sitting. Just this is it. So, if you use that as a mantra, please say it silently so you won't disturb somebody else next to you. Just this is it. Or if you want to, you know, if you're musical, you can just sing, let it be. Just this is it. Just this is it is basically the same thing as saying, I take refuge in Buddha. Same thing. Just this is it. So, when you take refuge in Buddha, you know, in some ways we're also taking refuge in,

[19:20]

you know, this guy. Or, you know, one of the Buddhas that we, you know, hear about, read about, or whatever. But basically, the true body of Buddha is just this. To really be present in reality as it is. Uprightly. As the person you are. Not trying to run away from yourself. So, in the practice of selling Buddha's robe, we chant in Japanese, namo kia butsu. And it's a kind of like a mantra. And you can use it as a mantra. And with each stitch you say, namo kia butsu. And it means I take refuge in Buddha. Or homage, I completely, homage to taking refuge in Buddha. Or I plunge into Buddha.

[20:22]

But it's just this is it. Same thing. can you trust reality enough? Can you trust your life enough to just be here? Without throwing away anything. Allow the whole world to be here. And just be here. Just this. There's actually, what's his name, that New Yorker cartoonist, Gahan Wilson, he kind of draws these, I don't know if you know him,

[21:26]

he kind of draws these kind of spooky pictures. But he does zen pictures sometimes. And there's two zen monks sitting next to each other. And one of them is saying, this is all there is? And the other one says, just this is it. So I'm sorry, if you wanted something more than just this, you're in the wrong temple, the wrong practice. There are other practices that will offer you more. And please go and have fun there if you want. But here we just have this. So again, how do you practice with that? A later teacher in the Sutta tradition, Hongzhe, talks about it in some very practical ways, I think. I think we talked about this a little bit last month. But in terms of seeing how you see and hear and taste and feel just this

[22:32]

as you're sitting. So I'll read a couple of things he says. I'll read the long version of this one. Utter emptiness has no image. Upright independence does not rely on anything. Just expand and illuminate the original truth, unconcerned by external conditions. This is that turning within that we have to do as the first step of seeing just this. Accordingly, we are told to realize that not a single thing exists. So this is a saying by the great sixth ancestor in the famous poetry contest. He said not a single thing exists. I'll come back to that. In this field, birth and death do not appear. The deep source, transparent down to the bottom, can radiantly shine and can respond unencumbered to each speck of dust without becoming its partner. That's the experience of just this.

[23:36]

And he says the subtlety of seeing and hearing transcends mere colors and sounds. The whole affair functions without leaving traces and mirrors in the ancient mirror without obscurations. Very naturally, mind and phenomena emerge and harmonize. So to see and to hear transcending mere colors and sounds, to see and to hear without getting caught up in some object outside you. Remember what Dongsheng said when he looked in the stream, he said, now I see it. Don't seek outside or you'll be estranged from self. It now is me. I now am not it. So that's another one that you can use as a mantra. I am not it. It actually is me. I am not it. It actually is me. I am not it. Truly it is me.

[24:47]

It's a good mantra. It's a good mantra to use in zazen. Maybe it gets deeper into it in a way. It's easier to feel the contours than just this is it. I am not it, but truly it is me. And whatever comes up, accept it in that way. So you are not the colors and sounds. They are you. This is the seeing and hearing that Hongjie is talking about. He talks about it in another place. He talks about turning within and really looking within and sitting. And he says, then you must know there is a path on which to turn yourself around. When you do turn yourself around, you have no different face that can be recognized. Even if you do not recognize your face, still nothing can hide it.

[25:53]

This is penetrating from the topmost all the way down to the bottom. When you have thoroughly investigated your roots back to their ultimate source, a thousand or ten thousand sages are no more than footprints on the trail. So I'm talking about both sides today, and I usually talk about both sides. The turning within and stepping out into the world, because we are practicing in the world. If we were, you know, for three months in a monastery together, I might emphasize more this turn within, this investigating thoroughly your roots back to their source. And so please, when you're studying just this on your cushion, look at it, see how I am not it, but it actually is me. See it with each thought, with each sensation, with each example of hearing and seeing and breathing.

[26:55]

But Hongshu says, when you have thoroughly investigated your roots back to their ultimate source, a thousand or ten thousand sages are no more than footprints on the trail. In wonder, return to the journey, avail yourself of the path and walk ahead. In light there is darkness, where it operates, no traces remain. With a hundred grass tips in the busy marketplace, graciously share yourself. So this is our practice in our Sangha. We are in the busy marketplace, we're all practicing in the world. More or less, in some way engaging in the difficulties of the world. So we have to have this rhythm in our life of turning within, of seeing the upright, and then of sharing it. And it's not something to share, because even when you're, you know, if you're working in downtown San Francisco in some cubicle in Ohio, still, just this is it.

[28:03]

You are not it, but it is you, truly. So Hongshu says, with the hundred grass tips in the busy marketplace, graciously share yourself, wide open and accessible, walking along. Casually mount the sounds and straddle the colors, while you transcend listening and surpass watching. It sounds like the opposite of what he said before, but it's actually the same. Just be there with the colors and sounds. Some sounds are pleasant, some sounds are annoying. Be present with them, don't get caught by them. You're not it, but it actually is you. So this is the dynamic awareness of just this is it. Just this is it is not some static just this. Just this is alive.

[29:04]

Your upright sitting is alive. Sometimes there's inhale, sometimes there's exhale. Sometimes there's the space after inhale. Sometimes there's the space after exhale. Just this is always changing. And you're not it, but it is you. So this is a dynamic awareness and the practice of it is a dynamic practice. It sounds, you know, one of the problems in talking this way is that it sort of sounds kind of passive. Well, if I just, you know, kind of accept everything as it is, that will be it. And that's one of, classically, one of the four traps of spiritual practice. Just to think that just accepting things as they are, just to go with the flow, amen, whatever, you know, that would get you anywhere.

[30:12]

That's not just this. Because you are not it, but it actually is you. So one of Dogen's very last teachings, he talks about this, and this is kind of the other side of just this is it. He says, you should know that becoming a Buddha is not something new or ancient. When a Buddha becomes a Buddha, it's not a brand new thing. It's also not an old thing. It's just this. You should know that becoming a Buddha is not something new or ancient. How could practice realization be within any boundary? So there's nothing that you can say about practice realization. There's nothing I can say about it. So I, you know, come here to Belenus every month and talk for a while, and I hope,

[31:20]

you know, please forgive me if anything I've said has interfered with your practice, or with just this. It's my job to sit up here and babble about it. Trust yourself. How could practice realization be within any boundary? Dogen says and goes on, do not say that from the beginning, not a single thing exists. So he's contradicting the sixth ancestor in Hongxue and many Buddhists. Do not say that from the beginning, not a single thing exists. The causes are complete and the results are fulfilled through time. Good assembly, please tell me, why is it like this? It's just this, and just this.

[32:29]

And one side of our practice, the side of wisdom, the side of uprightness, the side of sameness, is to see that from the beginning not a single thing exists, as the sixth ancestor said. There's no single thing that exists separately from everything else. There's no single thing that has independent substantial identity. I dare any of you to name it. Please tell me. Really, if there's something that you can tell me that really exists, please say it. Come on, Beverly, you must know something that exists. The sun? And the sun exists, well, where did the sun come from? But to say something exists is different than saying it has no independent separate existence.

[33:33]

It's kind of dark to say something exists. Good, so you agree with Dogen. He says, do not say that from the beginning not a single thing exists. Good. I don't know why he said that, he had his own reason. Well, I'm going to tell you why he said that. He said that because he was concerned about monk's mental health. I'm sure he was concerned about that. I say nothing exists and it's like scary and then to say nothing exists independently and separately can be kind of comforting. Please be comforted if it can be. But anyway, this is the other side of just this is it. And this is the side of just this is it which is not passive. It doesn't mean that we just look at the world from outside. It actually is you. It really is. You are not it, but it actually is you.

[34:35]

So let me let me go on. Dogen says the causes are complete. The results are fulfilled through time. We don't exist in some ultimate absolute empty void space somewhere where not a single thing exists. We exist, not a single thing exists actually means that everything exists. But we actually take care of our life and our practice in the world. We don't we don't stay on a cushion forever. We actually have to get up occasionally sometimes and go out and, you know, turn off the horn outside or go to the bathroom or, you know, make a fool of ourselves, cook dinner, talk to our friends and family, go to work to pay the bills. You know, think about what's going on in the world and try and see what we can do to respond. This is the causes are complete and the results are fulfilled through time.

[35:37]

So after Great Assembly, please tell me why is it like this? Dogen paused. And said opening flowers will unfailingly bear the genuine fruit. Green leaves, meeting autumn immediately become red. So we do exist in a world where there are many things. So just this is it and you are not it. It actually is you is how we see the world and how we bring the suchness of the world to the world. So it's not passive. We do take care of our life and this body and mind and each other and the world. And so we do respond to situations of the world each in our own different way as it in the way that it actually is you. So this is kind of this is actually very subtle.

[36:42]

Just this is it again. Just this. This is what we study sitting on our cushions. This is what we soak in. You know, it's study, but it's not study like we're taught to study. It's more like taking a bath. Or listening to music. Maybe even listening to music in the background or maybe taking a walk. Or just lying in the sun. Just this is it. You're not it, but it actually is you. And when we do that, when we went and there's no end to it, by the way, because that's just just this is alive. So just this is changing. So you so even if you, you know, very thoroughly, deeply have some great realization about just this, you better keep paying attention. And how we pay attention is not just on a cushion, but then we get out, get up and go

[37:54]

out and do what we can to take care of the world and to respond to the suffering that is the reality of the journey of the flowers and the fruits and the leaves. So maybe there's time for a couple of questions, Liz. I think I asked you this last one. I'll ask you again. Good. How is dropping off body and mind an incident? This is another way of talking about dropping off body and mind. This is the same thing as dropping off. That念 because dropping off body and mind happens. Again and again and again and again and again. Dropping off body and mind as a verb. We drop off body and mind to this or drop off body and mind with that, drop off body

[38:59]

and mind with this inhale. We drop off body and mind with this problem. And dropping off body and mind with this problem or that problem doesn't mean we ignore the problem. In fact, we throw ourselves completely into delusion. We throw ourselves into the precepts and into acting in the world, but with this dropped off body and mind that is just this. So this is, we were talking on a Wednesday night recently about how to respond to homeless people and how to do that effectively and is that the point even. Actually when we can bring ourselves to the problems of our own life and our own confusion and loneliness and fear and all of that, when we can bring ourselves to that or to the problems of the world around us or to the problems of the people in our family

[40:01]

or the people we see now, when we can bring ourselves to that with, I'm not it but it is actually me, that's dropping off body and mind. That's then, you're right there with it. You're not adding anything to it. You're not it. Just this is you. So this is the same as dropping off body and mind or another way of talking about it. Sally. It's tricky, it's hard, it's so hard to talk about. In a certain sense we do accept everything just as it is, but our accepting of it doesn't, is not passive. Our accepting of it is responsive. We are part, they are us. So, you know, I also mentioned Dogen saying, if you bring yourself forward and experience myriad things, that's delusion, that's the side of you are not it. And our usual way, the usual way of being in the world is to bring our ideas to everything

[41:06]

and try and figure things out and set up some policy and some strategy and some way of taking care of this and this and this and we think we can set up some rules about it and we can live by that and that's very comforting, but actually you are not it. And then the other side is, it actually is you. So Dogen goes on to say, when myriad things come forth and experience themselves, that's awakening. How do we allow ourselves to be actually part of the world, not, you know, cut off and isolated and separate from the colors and sounds, but just to meet everything. Let them be you. And then we do, by accepting them in that way, then we do respond and we do bring our best sense forward, but we're constantly checking, this is me, this is me. And so, as we respond, we see the ways in which we learn actually how we're projecting

[42:09]

some idea, our own condition, neurosis on the world, as opposed to allowing the world to arise together with us as part of it. So this is about how to dance in the world with everything, just this. And it's tricky, and we constantly make mistakes. Dogen said his life was one continuous mistake, that's what he meant. Any last comment or question? So I recommend actually, you know, you don't have to do this practice, but you might try writing your zazen, just saying, just this is it, or this, or I am not this, but this

[43:14]

actually is me. And just seeing, you can say the words, or you can just say them with your eyes, or say them with your ears, or with your breath. So let's close with the four bodhisattva vows, on the bottom of page eight. Let's say them three times.

[43:44]

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