Good morning, everyone. During the past week, we celebrated both Parinirvana Day and Valentine's Day. So this morning, I want to talk about love and death. Last Sunday, we celebrated Parinirvana Day, commemorating the passing away into Nirvana of Shakyamuni Buddha. And also last Monday evening, Guy Newland was here talking about grieving and his book, A Buddhist Grief Observed, about his experience of grief and supporting grieving based on his experience of his wife's passing away. So I'll talk first about death and then about

[01:01]

its relationship to love in terms of Valentine's Day and different kinds of love. So, on the Han outside it talks about the great matter of life and death. An important part of our practice is facing death, the reality of loss. facing sadness, facing mortality, facing that everything changes, that everything passes away, that we will someday be gone, that everyone and everything we love will eventually at some point pass. When we can face this, we more fully appreciate life.

[02:06]

We can more appreciate the preciousness of each day. So some of us are here sitting today, all day. And it's not that we have to think about death. But each breath, each period, each day is unique and wonderful and kind of amazing opportunity to feel the freshness of being here. So personally, I've had a handful of near-death experiences. When I was 19, I sometimes say I was killed in a car crash in Arizona.

[03:15]

The car spun out and around and around and flipped over and over off the road in the desert. And I, of course, knew that this was it. And it was kind of amazingly calm, and I just watched it all from somewhere up here. I was in a VW Bug, and after... Well, I don't know how long it was, it seemed forever and it was, I don't know, maybe it was just a few seconds, but there we were a hundred yards off the road in the middle of the desert with the car upside down and somehow the windows popped out and I crawled out the back. Anyway. So, you know, the rest of it has been kind of extra or gravy or whatever. Such experiences, you know, you appreciate each day. So, you know, maybe everyone's afraid of death, maybe not.

[04:25]

But how can we appreciate our life? I don't, you know, I feel like I'm not afraid of death myself now. I just, you know, I went through it. But there's that old blues song, I don't mind dying, but I hate to leave my children crying. Anyway, we don't know what will happen. And, you know, as Guy Nguyen was talking about Monday night, you know, in our culture, we try and hide from this reality. But this was the Buddha's, you know, this was impelled, old age, sickness and death impelled the Buddha to go off and face reality and awaken. And then Parinirvana day celebrates the day of his passing away into nirvana.

[05:36]

We still have the statue up of him lying on his right side between the ten twin sala trees and passing away that way calmly. And there are various stories about it in the Mahayana, Mahaparinirvana Sutra has just been translated recently. It's a wonderful sutra. But one of the stories about his passing is that he told his disciples before he passed that now you have to be a light unto yourself, and that the Dharma is now your guide. So you can see me in the Dharma. And I love Mary Oliver's retranslation of that, where she says, make of yourself a light, said the Buddha before he died. So this is our life now.

[06:40]

And how do we be a light? How do we carry on the Buddha? So in the Lotus Sutra, there's this other story, this radical story that actually, in the Lotus Sutra, the Buddha says, and we'll chant, at midday service we'll chant, So, closing verse from that chapter of the Lotus Sutra that the Buddha actually, that's in the middle of the sutra, tells his disciples that, well, I only seem to pass away in nirvana. I've actually been around for a very, [...] very long time. If you count the number of stars. You know, in the northeast for, you know, if you drop one atom from this planet every hundred light years and count the number of stars you pass, that's how many lifetimes, how many Kalpas I've lived. Anyway, it's this vast astronomical number.

[07:43]

and I'll be around for twice that long in the future. So it's not infinite, but Buddha's around a very long time, he says. But for people who would then slack off in their own practice if they knew that, I'd pretend to be born and leave the palace and wander around for 40 years and then pass away. Anyway, so there's various stories about all this. and various interpretations, and one way to understand this is that the Buddha is still around because here we are. So how do we make ourselves a light to continue the Buddha's light in this world, in this place, in this time? As difficult as it may seem, how do we keep alive the light of awakening, of kindness, of well-being and love for all beings, of respect for all beings, here, now.

[08:50]

How does life, how does, so the whole question, the great matter of life and death. So again, I talked about this last Sunday some, but how does, what is this relationship of life and death? In our practice, sitting still, upright, being present, facing the wall, facing ourselves, facing all beings, sitting together with all beings on our seat, in stillness, in silence. Out of the stillness, we can uncover great creative energy. And there are many images for this in Zen. So, in the Jewel Mirror Samadhi, it says, when the wooden man begins to sing, the stone woman gets up to dance.

[10:01]

And we've heard that a dragon sings in a withered tree. So in this stillness, in this seeming death, life appears, new life appears, new energy appears. So the Buddha passed away, and yet there he is on our altar. Here he is in Arjuna. How do we keep alive? this practice. Somehow in each generation this has been handed down, so here we are. So life also has to do with love.

[11:09]

So we'll chant the Inconceivable Lifespan at midday, and then at the end of the day, we'll chant the Metta Sutta, which talks about, well, various kinds of love, really. A mother's love. Even as a mother at the risk of her life watches over and protects her only child, so with a boundless mind should one cherish all living things, suffusing love over the entire world, above, below, and all around, without limit. So let one cultivate an infinite goodwill toward the whole world." So sometimes, well, in Greek I think it's called agape, you could say, brotherly or sisterly love.

[12:14]

or maybe this is motherly love, but love for all beings. But of course, Valentine's Day, and I'll come back to that, but Valentine's Day celebrates more romantic love or erotic love. And I think they're connected. Romantic love is more about attachment. in a way, about loving someone. But that's part of how we learn love. Or maybe that's where we learn love. Maybe that's how, as human beings, as somewhat developed primates, we learn about love. And of course, life and death comes from that.

[13:16]

So we talk in Buddhism about non-attachment. But I think non-attachment in Buddhism, in the Mahayana anyway, where we don't see nirvana as escaping from the world, but we see nirvana as right in the world, so the Buddha coming back and staying in the world. Non-attachment means, in some sense, accepting our attachments, not being caught by our attachments. This is kind of subtle, this is advanced practice, but that's the practice we are called to here in this little storefront temple in Chicago, a non-residential temple for lay practitioners. This is, you know, our American Zen practice in the world, coming to settle into being present and upright, facing life and death,

[14:34]

experiencing the stillness, allowing the energy and creativity and vitality to arise from it, but being in the middle of the world of attachments. So our precept about romantic love, about sexuality, says a disciple of Buddha does not misuse sexuality. In Asian Buddhism, the precept for monks was about celibacy. Here we just say, do not misuse sexuality. So how do we be involved in this with respect? How do we enjoy sexuality with respect, without harm? This is a great challenge. In American Zen, we practice We practice with relationships, with parenting, as some of us do.

[15:43]

As practice, we practice in the world. So the Japanese suttas and lineages that we are part of is, and all of Japanese Buddhism actually includes priests who are married, or can be married, can have children. And I think traditionally, even in monastic Asian Buddhism, that the celibacy wasn't so much about sexuality as it was about family. That monks had to have their primary commitment to monastic practice, to the Sangha. And family gets in the way of that. Here, we are practicing where people here do have families. How do you practice? How do you balance commitment to family with commitment to Sangha?

[16:49]

Well, this is a great challenge. But this is practicing with being in the world and still practicing stillness, coming to practice stillness sometimes, seeing how life comes out of stillness, So just historically in Japan, there was a kind of edict, a governmental edict, for priests, not just in Soto-san, in all of Japanese Buddhism, that they could, and it was encouraged that they marry. And actually now priests, a lot of temples are inherited by sons of priests, and sometimes daughters of priests now. But that started in the 19th century. But partly it was encouraged by some priests, actually from Soto Zen school, because the reality had been since Heian period, since the 800s, that there were women living in the temples.

[17:57]

It just wasn't acknowledged. So they thought, okay, well, let's make it official, you know, instead of being hypocritical about it. So anyway, here in the West, we have as a precept, do not misuse sexuality. So Valentine's Day is about romantic love, and romantic love is part of learning this, it has a connection to this wider sense of love, this agape, this love for all beings, suffusing love over the entire world, they're connected. when we learn to care about one person or about children, more than ourself, we give up something of ourself. And then we start to see that we can actually, you know, not so in the Veda Sutta, it also says, maybe this is pretty radical, but it says,

[19:05]

Let one not desire great possessions even for one's family. Let one do nothing that is mean or that the wise would approve. May all beings be happy. So part of our precepts is this benefiting all beings. That's one of our 16 precepts. This goes back to this sense of brotherly and sisterly love. May all beings be happy. This is a core value in Buddhism. Maybe not exactly the love that's celebrated on Valentine's Day, but it's kind of related. The sense of respect for all beings. benefiting all beings. So our precepts talk about not harming but helping, not killing, not lying, not intoxicating mind or body of self or others.

[20:19]

So in terms of life and death, how do we, again, when we face death, how do we truly appreciate life? This has something to do with these, I would say, precepts of loving. How do we benefit all beings? How do we respect others? So we sit facing the wall, but the wall is not a wall to keep out anybody. Anybody can come here. You don't have to be a Buddhist. In fact, we have Muslims in our Sangha. We have immigrants in our Sangha. We have people with spouses or partners who are immigrants in our Sangha. We have women in our Sangha. We have LGBTQ people in our Sangha. So the sense of including all beings is very important. And now our government calls us to protect refugees.

[21:31]

So how do we give our attention to life and death? To face the reality of death, to face the reality of life, and to face the reality of love. how do we care about the particular people we care about, who we may have attachments to, and honor those attachments, and respect those attachments, but also see those as models for how we may wish for all beings to be happy. Buddha, Shakyamuni Buddha is dead.

[22:36]

Shakyamuni Buddha is alive. How do we face that we are dead? So in one of his essay, in one of his talks about, on Parinirvana Day, Dogen said, tonight, celebrating the Parinirvana Day, Buddha passed away in Janarvana. Tonight, all Buddhas and ancestors pass away into nirvana. If you have not already passed away into nirvana, you cannot celebrate this day. So in our zazen, You know, we can find... Well, we face, you know, the sadness. This is the First Noble Truth. We face the reality of loss of loved ones. Loss of this body and mind, eventually.

[23:43]

Hopefully not today. Please enjoy your exhale and please take another inhale. but also we can find joy and caring and generosity for all beings. That includes yourself. Please take care of yourself. Please enjoy yourselves and please enjoy all beings. So I'll read Mary Oliver's poem, The Buddha's Last Instruction. Make of yourself a light, said the Buddha before he died. I think of this every morning as the East begins to tear off its many clouds of darkness to send up the first signal, a white fan streaked with pink and violet, even green.

[24:51]

An old man, he lay down between two solid trees, and he might have said anything, knowing it was his final hour. The light burns upward. It thickens and settles over the fields. Around him, the villagers gathered and stretched forward to listen. Even before the sun itself hangs disattached in the blue air, I am touched everywhere by its ocean of yellow waves. No doubt he thought of everything that had happened in his difficult life. And then I feel the sun itself as it blazes over the hills like a million flowers on fire. Clearly, I'm not needed. Yet, I feel myself turning into something of inexplicable value. Slowly, beneath the branches, he raised his head. He looked into the faces of that frightened crowd.

[26:04]

And there she ends the poem. So yes, of course we're frightened of death. We're frightened of love. We're frightened of making ourselves into a light. And yet, here we are. Just sitting, upright, present. This is our work. This can be our joy. Paying attention, responding, giving ourself to all of this. Make of yourself a light. Share your love. with someone or with the world or both. So, I guess I've said what I wanted to say.

[27:11]

Does anyone have any comments or questions or responses? We'll have a time for discussion for the people who are here for the day this afternoon, but if anyone wants to say something now, please feel free. so so Chris?

[28:12]

When you said that sometimes we get afraid to do a lot of work, to make a lot of ourselves, it reminded me of this passage where an agent once said, in twenty years of bitter struggles, how many times have I gone and done it? Yeah, Buddha stared into the faces of that fearful crowd. Well, that's a commentary, that poem, to the great ancestor, Masa, the horse ancestor, when he was gravely ill, basically on his deathbed, his attendant asked, how is your venerable health, sir?

[29:23]

And he said, sun-faced Buddha, moon-faced Buddha. So the sun-faced Buddha, according to one scripture, lives for a thousand years. The moon-faced Buddha lives one night a day. Here we are. For however long. Yes, Miriam. All of a sudden, pain swept in. Yes. And you just get like... Everybody... A horrible epidemic, yes. I had two secretaries in a row who died of pain. And it's like... For myself, I think about prison a lot. That I, at this moment, don't have any fear of it.

[30:25]

I know that I have fear. Yes. So I sort of am more afraid for their death. More afraid for my husband's death. He's more afraid for my death. And so it's like a different perspective in a way. But I never had reflected on it so much before the 80s. And then it was just like all along. Yeah. Yeah, so our culture has had tried to hide from death and people died in hospitals and we didn't see it. It used to be that people died in homes and everybody knew of death. It's more visible now and many Zen people are becoming chaplains or doing hospice work and including people here.

[31:39]

And yeah, so it's in front of us and I think it's healthy. Yes, Carolyn. I have struggled with most of the time is the death of the natural one. Yeah. I feel like I have such a love when I, sometimes I've been in the mountains, I've been somewhere and it's like being in love for a moment. Yes. It's such a joy. And so much of my sense of God when I was being a Christian was about that death creates And the crisis in my sense of life, knowing that... the world is also dying, you know, I wonder, to me it's almost like, which happens first, you know?

[32:57]

There's such a sense of impending doom right now. So, I mean, my brother died of AIDS, and otherwise I guess I'd be unfortunate, but the whole pervasiveness of that sense of death is really difficult. Yeah, thank you for saying that so eloquently. Yeah, so this is why as a Zen priest, a Zen clergy person, I feel compelled to speak about what's going on in the world. Because it's not new with the current administration, but to have the CEO of ExxonMobil be the Secretary of State is just such an abomination. given that ExxonMobil has been responsible for creating climate damage and spreading it and hiding it. So we're in this terrible time.

[33:59]

It's not that the planet is going to die or that life won't continue in some form on the planet, but the habitat for so many species is being destroyed willfully for profit. intentionally looking for ways to encourage and support what's being called the resistance in ways, in non-violent, upright ways. And I don't feel like it's hopeless, but it certainly is urgent. So that's my response to the reality you speak. And still, there's love. And still, there's this day. And still, there's the next breath. And still, we can enjoy salsa.

[34:58]

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