I have an attachment. Everything seems very impermanent. Is everything okay? This is good, makes me pay attention. Well, good evening.

[01:14]

I thought we could talk with each other a little bit about time and maybe space. In the office we've been getting calls about the new year, the millennium. It's only June, people are trying to get organized around what are they going to do for the millennium. We don't know quite what to tell them yet, but I guess we'll do something. The millennium is the 2000th year, I guess, in the Gregorian calendar. And each year lately, the last 20 anyway, we've had a New Year's Eve sitting. A lot of people come, ring the bell, sit Zazen, and do various other things.

[02:29]

It's very well attended. And I think just about everybody knows what they're going to do on New Year's. It might be stay home, but it's something. Usually having to do with taking stock or a new beginning, something like that. So it's something that draws people's attention. It's this kind of celebration of changing clothes or letting go and starting over again, something fresh. Of course, the Gregorian calendar is just one of many calendars. I was reading that the Egyptians were the first to come up with, at least as far as we know, a calendar about 4000 years ago. Or maybe that was 4000 BC. And then the Jews were the next to pass the finish line on that.

[03:34]

And I guess the Chinese were in there somewhere, and the Christians at 2000. So it's somewhat arbitrary about the millennium. And then I was reading that these astronomers have really got these instruments now that can really measure stuff. And it turns out that our solar system is in this galaxy called the Milky Way. We call it the Milky Way. In fact, we call it a galaxy. I don't think any other planet calls it a galaxy. We call it a galaxy, and we call it the Milky Way. And we're out in an arm of this Milky Way, and we're rotating around the center of this Milky Way. And they figured out this year that actually it takes 225 million years to rotate around the Milky Way and come back to where you started from.

[04:47]

So, you know, 225 million years ago, we were right here. But back then there were dinosaurs and stuff like that. Now, when I think of time from a Buddhist perspective, I often think of and am introduced to the concept of impermanence. Which, as someone said, impermanence is Buddha nature. The fact of impermanence itself is the nature of Buddha. So what does time come in there?

[05:57]

How is impermanence and time, how do they relate to one another? Dogen was motivated by the concept of impermanence. When his mother died, he was maybe seven or eight years old, and he reported that when he saw the incense rising above his mother's funeral pyre, he thought of impermanence and decided to become a monk and investigate the cause of suffering, the nature of Buddha Dharma. That thought of permanence motivated him, impermanence. And the Buddha would say that to motivate a monk to practice, one should ask the monk to meditate on impermanence.

[07:03]

Something about motivating about impermanence. I don't know what it would be. Why would impermanence motivate anyone? What are you going to do? Everything is impermanent. What's the motivation? What are you going to get? What are you going to achieve? Is time running out? What's the use? Well, there is this other thing called suffering, which the Buddha was interested in and devoted his life to understanding the nature of and the remedy for.

[08:16]

And one way of expressing it was that suffering is caused by, which is basically dissatisfaction, is caused by something called grasping, trying to keep things from changing. Having a fixed view, for instance. Harboring ill will, regrets, resentments, revenge. I heard today that some of the Serb troops leaving Kosovo were burning down some houses and some reporters asked them why they were doing that.

[09:27]

They said revenge. That NATO had burned down some of their houses, so they were going to burn down some of NATO's houses. So a relationship between grasping and time is perhaps clear. In fact, one might think that the concept of time is fundamental to suffering. The monks of old, one of their essential rules of conduct was no hoarding, no squirreling away some things for later.

[10:53]

Always be dependent on the kindness of strangers. Always be created by circumstance. Always subordinate to the demand characteristics of the situation. So, you know, the strategy of the self, when structured around appetite, or getting things, being secure, building up a little fort,

[11:58]

is haunted by time running out. But when the self is structured around, let's say, something like breathing, how are you going to orient your day? What's going to be your close companion? Well, maybe breathing. So you're just structured around going home to breathing. Now, breathing takes its own time. Now, breathing can be right where it is. It's not trying to get something that isn't there. So when we come back to breathing, we somehow enter a flow of now.

[13:10]

Structuring our life around that dharmagate feels different than structuring it around appetite. But we, of course, forget all the time. Of course, you have to let go of breathing too, but one thing at a time. In zazen, you know, we sit up. Always sitting up. Awake, alert, aligned. Awareness of posture and breath.

[14:20]

And we notice when we're aligned, when we're balanced, we can let go of tension. Or we can notice it anyway. And something about awareness itself is liberating. It's the awareness of tension within the context of being upright. And these holding-ons in our body, I think, are time. Graspings, conditionings, they weigh us down. We feel the weight.

[15:24]

When we let go, we feel lighter. As time progresses, when we sit, sometimes we get very light. As we let go of the past and the future. And the present. And the future. One of the neat things about zazen is the body is an object of concentration. The dharmagate is the body. Slash mind. And we can set aside our agenda

[16:34]

for a period of structured zazen and just come into intimate contact with our holding-on. And by contacting it and becoming intimate with it, it just becomes dharma instead of karma. Nothing changes, but everything is different. In category, I'd like to talk about the present as a pivot between past and future. Past doesn't exist, future doesn't exist. Just this pivot. But when we weigh too much on past and future,

[17:43]

like this lectern here, we may think, oh, it's old. We should get another one, get a new one in the future. But that doesn't feel stable and satisfying. The lectern is a pivot between past and future. It is fully alive, fully manifesting right now. If we think old and past, new and future, it changes the experience. Now,

[18:44]

we've been up the road. There's a couple of dogs, which Rosa and and Jenny. They belong to Cindy and Seth. And Martha and I sometimes take them out for a hike. I was reading this book called Dogs Never Lie About Love. There's something wonderful about dogs. I don't know whether you're a dog person or a cat person, but cats are wonderful, but they're certainly different than dogs. Dogs are always glad to see you.

[19:53]

Your dog is just so pleased when you're there and not very happy when you're not, I don't think. It doesn't seem to hold on to any grudge when you come home, even though they've been missing you. They don't blame you for it. They're just happy to see you. Isn't that just great? They just drop the whole thing and they're just so happy to see you. You sort of enter a kind of timeless realm with the dog. You're walking the dog, especially if there's no leash. I don't know, time seems to creep in when there's a leash.

[20:56]

Dog wants to do this, you want to do that. If there's no leash and you can take them off on trails where that's okay, one thing I've noticed and recently read about is that that dog will, if you know the dog, if you and the dog have bonded in some way, that dog will not leave you. It might get lost or something, but it will not leave you. And when you are hiking with it, Martha and I sometimes hike at different rates, and the dogs will not let one of us get lost. They will go back and look. They'll hang around the person who's way back there, or one of them will. They're a pack animal, and we're sort of pack animals too. They just won't ignore you and let you go.

[21:58]

They're very loyal and they get a little bit nervous if somebody's trailing too far behind. I like that. So when you're with a dog, not on a leash, I feel like I'm so present in nature with that dog and with the earth. It reminded me of being with a baby Have you visited the baby? There's a baby over there. And I know when my granddaughter visited Martha and I,

[23:01]

the baby came from New Haven, and everybody came over to see the baby. And there's a baby on the living room floor. And there were a lot of people around. There's a little cooking going on here, and chatting going on there, and things sort of spills outside into the lawn. And eventually it's kind of your turn to be with the baby. So you go over to the baby, and hi there, and the baby's gone. And you're going like that, and you just enter a whole different realm. And all your neurotic stuff just drops away. It's just you and the baby. There's no time. Time isn't passing, or you're not missing anything. You're completely in this zone of now with that baby. Baby does this, you do this. Bhikkhu Amaro,

[24:08]

I guess Arjuna Amaro, when he was here, he mentioned that when the Buddha entered the room, everybody dropped, oh, everybody's neurotic machinery stopped. You know, there's the Buddha, and you just drop it. And what is this neurotic machinery anyway? It's usually related to time in some way, isn't it? Holding on to something. Some resentment, some slight, some hope, hope for things to be different. All that just stops. When you're present with a baby, it stops. Dogs, just they're not relating to time the same way. They're not into neurotic time. And also the neighbors were visiting Harvey Perlman,

[25:10]

Nina's husband, and their kid were up. And the kid's pretty young, but he plays chess. And his father, Harvey, noticed that the kid was really good at chess. He was beating all the other kids. And he was kind of, my kid's pretty good at chess. And so, do you play chess? I did play chess. So you ought to play my kid. So I played the kid. Well, how old is he? Eight. He's good. I used to be really good at chess from my age anyway. And as you get older, you lose it, let me tell you. But, okay, you want to play chess? All right, so we play chess. So I'm, first of all, you sit down and you reject the concept

[26:12]

that you're going to give the kid a break, right? Because that wouldn't be, that wouldn't be honorable, right? And of course, there is this idea that, you know, you're damned if you're going to let him beat you. And he was really good. He worried me, actually, a little bit. But I noticed that what he was doing there, he was going like da-de-da in between moves, you know. He had like a Power Ranger or something he was going to run. And I'm going, you know, and I noticed that he didn't know whose move it was. That is, he'd be waiting for me to move I had moved or vice versa or something like that. Anyway, I began to, it happened a number of times and I realized, well, it just wasn't part of his deal

[27:12]

that he knew what move it was. When he looked at the game, he would analyze it and know what to do. If it was his move, he'd move. But he didn't know whose move it was. He wasn't into whose move it was. He was into solving that puzzle at that moment. It was real hard not to take advantage of him because he was almost too good. So he was living in a different time realm than I was. I was a little into who's going to win this game and he was just making the next move. What time is it? So as you said,

[28:16]

Zazen or apply the practice of mindfulness, which is kind of a time thing, now, mindfulness is somehow related to now, but it's not related to time because it has no length. And as you get the concept of mindfulness or have the concept of practice or Zazen or being present, becoming more intimate with your body and mind and start doing, have the mind and body come together and it penetrates all of that. What you think you're doing, you're doing. Your thinking and doing is the same thing. And you start dropping away

[29:21]

unnoticing conditionings, noticing that you have fixed views, that you are, have preferences in what they are and start lightening up and you can come more into the presence of your body at any particular time. And of course you're constantly losing it, which gives me an excuse to read this poem by Simon, the new theologian. I'm going to change a few words here. We awaken in Buddha's body as Buddha awakens in our body. And my poor hand is Buddha. He enters my foot and is infinitely me. I move my hand and wonderfully my hand becomes Buddha because all of him,

[30:28]

for Buddha is indivisible, I move my foot and at once he appears like a flash of lightning. Try it sometime. Do my words seem blasphemous? Then open your heart to him and let yourself receive the one who is opening to you so deeply for if we genuinely love him we wake up inside Buddha's body where all our body all over ever most hidden part of it is realized in joy as him. And he makes us utterly real and everything that is hurt everything that seems to us dark harsh shameful maimed ugly irreparably damaged is in him transformed. We were having a seminar

[31:41]

on Uji last year or I guess almost for a year and Uji means being time. This is kind of Dogen's approach to the question of time. And he considered one of his most profound and novel and unique offerings in the Shobo Genzo his collection of works Uji U-J-I And I thought I'd just introduce you to it briefly. There'll be a course on it in November sort of an endless study living time. An ancient Buddhist said the living quick of time

[32:47]

stands on the peak of the highest mountain the quick of time. The living quick of time moves on the floor of the deepest ocean. It takes the form of the three-headed eight-armed brutish beasts. That's you and me. It appears as the figure measuring 16 feet one standing and 8 feet tall one seated. That's one-winged Arbuda. It takes the form of the precautionary staff. That's a teacher. It is a pillar or a lantern It is the common third or fourth child Tom, Dick or Harry. It is the earth and it is the heavens.

[33:48]

The Buddha said. By the expression U-J-I living time I mean that each moment of time unfolds reveals all existence and all worlds. All the various phenomena are themselves time. The 16-foot golden body is itself time. Because of that the radiant light also manifests as time. Functioning of the Buddha is time. Learn and practice the 12 hours of the day in China in olden days there were 12 hours. In this way the three-headed eight-armed brutish beast is time. Because of that it is not different from the 12 hours. Traces of the past

[34:53]

and the direction of the future seem so clear no one truly questions these things. However there is no assurance that because there is no true questioning we understand what time actually is. Since fundamentally all the phenomena and experience we question are themselves not fixed this time of questioning cannot possibly coincide with that which is being questioned in the very next moment of time. For a while questioning itself simply exists as time. Jiko have you heard the concept Jiko? Whole self is personally

[35:54]

experienced as the whole universe as it is manifested through all things. Jiko is Uji is being time Jiko Jiko is living time Uji is too but Jiko has effort attached Jiko is that moment just before the split between self and other right now Jiko is everything manifested to phenomena through your life. Jiko is dynamic you are Jiko your life it's not something passive you are alive

[36:56]

you are alive completely alive when you make a mistake when you do good or bad you are alive completely the whole world is there you are completely unobstructed Jiko when the universal and the concrete happen at the same time this and all the elements of now the thing that lives lives the universe is Jiko and you are living the universe

[37:59]

and again Joko on talks about how when you come forward with your agenda and experience all things that's delusion but when all things come forward come to you and actualize you that's enlightenment so Jiko of course includes both of those because there is only time present Uji living time is all inclusive time all living things all occurring phenomena

[39:05]

are time each instant each moment of time embodies all existence all worlds Uji living time is inclusive of all times all the grasses and everything that occur is time all existence all phenomena are contained in the ever occurring presence of time now an aspect of Jiko is not an obstruction

[40:14]

nothing is in anything else's way all things are completely what they are no time is interfering with any other time no object with any other object how could it be different what would the world be like if things interfered with other things or time times interfered with other times you know when you want something like let's say you want to go over to the kitchen have a peanut butter sandwich but you need to traverse the distance between here and there do you feel an obstruction between here and there is the distance between obstructing you the time it takes to get there obstruction

[41:15]

it feels like suffering doesn't it you know Joe DiMaggio the great baseball star had a 51 game hitting streak unimaginably long hitting streak whole world was listening when he got up for that 52nd game everybody was listening and he hit the ball pretty hard a couple of times but they caught it and then on his last time up he hit a rifle shot down the third baseline and the third baseman nabbed that ball and threw him out at first that was the end of his hitting streak and we think

[42:23]

well that third baseman obstructed that ball but of course from the point of view maybe the third baseman thought he was obstructing it too I don't know but from the point of view of Jico before that split between self and other everything was just functioning in its own dharma position it's that karma it's that our tendency to service a limited view that creates a world of obstructions without that servicing

[43:26]

there are none there's just the flow just us completely in harmony this is how Dogen puts it life is for example like a man sailing in a boat although he sets sail steers his course and pulls his boat along the boat carries him he does not exist apart from the boat but sailing in the boat he makes it what the boat is study assiduously this very time at such a time

[44:28]

there is nothing but the world of the boat the heavens the water and the shore all become the boat's time they are not the same as the time that is not the boat hence I make life what it is life makes me what I am in riding the boat there is body and mind the self and the world are together the dynamic functioning of the boat the entire earth and the whole empty sky are in company with the boat's vigorous exertion such is the eye that is life and the life that is I I remember thinking

[45:45]

when I was a young man I grew up in the Catholic Church and I went to a club where they were discussing the theology of Catholicism and it came to my mind the question what did God do before creation before time and I was reading in St. Augustine Confessions of St. Augustine it's a marvelous book Diary of St. Augustine All His Life and he really got into this question of time and it's well known his thinking and it's no different than Dogen's thinking really

[46:49]

that idea of that there is no way of saying there's a past separate past or separate future it's only the present and that there's the past in the present which is called memory and the future in the present which is called expectation and the present which is called intuition but it seems that suffering is very related always to the concept of time of hanging on or letting go either one

[47:53]

so I just want you to hear a little bit of Uji and talk a little bit about time and I think we're about out of it you heard of killing time doing time I think that's what we're doing we're doing time right? that's suffering doing time you're not in jail but you really are stuck I mean we're stuck right? we're conditioned we're holding on to stuff we don't know what it is we're too scared to let go we don't even know how to let go we don't even know what let go is and we can't do it anyway um that's where forgiveness comes in right? forgiveness is the great healer

[48:55]

and releaser from time you can find out how to forgive find out what it is that you need to forgive and find out how to do it you'll be released from time and then there's forgetfulness which uh we get a little bit more interested in as time goes by here's a little poem by Billy Collins do you know him? Gloria Lee went to school with him turns out forgetfulness the name of the author is first to go followed obediently by the title the plot the heart breaking conclusion the entire novel which suddenly becomes one you've never read and never even heard of as if one by one

[50:01]

the memories you used to harbor decided to return and retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain to a little fishing village where there is no phone long ago you kissed the names of the nine muses goodbye and watched the quadratic equation pack its bag and even now as you memorize the order of the planets something else is slipping away a state flower perhaps the address of an uncle the capital of Paraguay what is the capital of Paraguay? somebody know? what? ascension

[51:02]

ascension all right we've got it back good whatever it is you are struggling to remember it is not poised on the tip of your tongue not even lurking in some obscure corner of your spleen it has floated away down a dark mythological river whose name begins with an L as far as I can recall well on your way on your own way to oblivion where you will join those who have even forgotten how to swim and how to ride a bicycle no wonder you rise in the middle of the night to look up the date of a famous battle in a book on war no wonder the moon

[52:04]

in the window seems to have drifted out of a love poem that you used to know by heart that's forgetfulness and then he's quite a poet isn't he? this is the dead this is called the dead are always looking down on us they say while we are putting on our shoes and making a sandwich they are looking down through a glass bottom boats of heaven as they row themselves slowly through eternity they watch the tops of our heads moving below on earth and when we lie down in a field or on a couch

[53:05]

drugged perhaps by the hum of a warm afternoon they think we are looking back at them which makes them lift their oars and fall silent and wait like parents for us to close our eyes and one last poem on time while eating a pear I don't know who wrote this one after we have finished here the world will continue its quiet turning and the years will still transpire but now without their numbers and the days and the months will pass without the names

[54:07]

of Norse or Roman gods time will go by the way it did before history pure and unnoticed a mystery that arose between the sun and the moon before there was a word for dawn or moon or night or midnight before there were names for the earth's uncountable things when the fruit hung anonymously from scattered groves of trees light on one smooth green side shadow on the other

[54:52]

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