that's so common, one doesn't realize and then it's just, you know, a re-cultivation of silence in the monetary, just to get away, break down that, which is so deep, deeply. but his silence which would be simply his selfish withdrawing into oneself. That of course again is, that is, that's a barrier. Then in that case, if silence is not something that is open to God, then again it becomes just a way of enjoying oneself. It becomes a way of being self-sufficient. And Danish, it is standard, it doesn't serve charity.

[01:07]

It's the enemy's way of charity. So silence must be offered. Silence must be the expression of the inner submission to God. the mission to God, of our dependence on God. And then, of course, also, if there is to him our silence is really union with God, he has them. Then, of course, then, too, that silence yields a certain real and true independence. But a true independence Silence really is as close as possible. Again, we know how much on the other side, you know, constant speaking causes everywhere, you know, into depending on others, with our imposing on others.

[02:18]

And I say, for a change, which deprives us of our legitimate independence. We, as our charity and overseers, in that way, which is of course, is not true charity. It's not a charity which really has gone through the feet of Christ, you know, which is the kind of, I mean, of the behavior which is deeply, let us say, kind of political behavior, politeness, That means if somebody talks to me, then I have to talk again to him. You know how that is in the world. People think they cannot be together without talking together. It would be, let us say, impolite to be together and not to talk together.

[03:22]

The world gives me an instinctive feeling that if we are together, we have to entertain one another. Now, in a modern stereocross, we are not there to entertain one another. That adds a point of view which does have to be cut off. We are not there to entertain one another. We are there to help one another, to have the one entertainment, dialogue going on, and that's the affection of which we both have spoken all the time. And of which silence is one means. To become the father's silence, to become God's silence. would have that inner dialogue between God and the soul. And Kynan is the wall which preserves and protects that.

[04:26]

Kynan is the wall behind which the love for God, my love for God, and God's love for me can really flow without external intrusion, without being interrupted. Therefore, science is a protection for the individual protected against the arrogance of somebody else, you know, who intrudes into that dialogue, wants to enter into it incessantly. You know how good science is to prevent, you know, all this, what we call, amicitia peculiare. Amicitia peculiare. This tendency is that very often I and others to form a certain human-friendship-human attachment to one or the other member of the community.

[05:31]

And that's always connected with that, of course it cannot be expressed in any other way, but by taking somebody aside, talking to him aside, you know, in a private way, and so on. And their way, in that way, is the break of silence. It is an intrusion, you see, into that jinn of ours, that really belongs to God alone. Because, you know what I'm telling you, every individual soul here, consecrated, dedicated, gives us to God. And we cannot take that thing as that gift away from God and take it for ourselves. For that is too often to investigate, even if that silence is not observed. Silence, our tongue, we are exhausted using the instrument through which, in all we try, to take the soul into our own possession.

[06:41]

make it our own first. Establish a wrong affiliation. And that may sometime, that that attention or may even, uh, hide its bitters behind, uh, Behind, uh, only behind there, we are always ready to find good titles for doing our best with. And we say, oh my, this one always, as we say, has, is, poured out. And we, uh, we must all, you know, uh, have to do, you know, many of us, many of us, many of us. It has an outer aspect. and it has an inner, outer aspect to the inner.

[07:45]

The outer aspect is, if I consider somebody else, for example, I don't like him because he... I don't like that thing. I don't like that voice. I can't stand the way the man talks. Well, he's an Irish woman. He's a German woman. And that way, you see, you think a person has an outer aspect. But then that person also has an inner aspect. That person here saved by our Lord, the baptized Christian. He is an object of our Lord's saving love.

[08:50]

He is infinitely precious, infinitely precious to our Lord. He has a soul, and that soul is of infinite use. If you are on that way, then you go into the inner aspect, to look at the other from within. If you look at him on the outer aspect, that means to simply get stuck, you know, in the, in your natural, natural reaction, antithesis, antithesis. The recollection is the process through which I withdraw from the periphery, from the outer aspect of it.

[09:56]

And look at them from the inside. The best way to spare your card to put it in is going to the piece of card. And at the end of the piece of card, that's the data. The love of Christ for us, that is the real true center. Because when we are really in the depth of our being, then we say, not I live, but Christ lives in me. That sentence expresses, you know, the fact that we live in the true center of all, that we live in our depth. But we don't live in our depth by nature. Therefore, we live in our depth, you know, by a constant, renewed return into it.

[10:59]

That is what we call again and again, the labor of obedience. That's constant, renewed effort on our part. Going again into the center. God, we constantly are drawn away from this through the flaws of this omniscience. Now, you know very well, you see, that much talking forces you into the correctness. It just forces you. You cannot remain in the center of things if you don't you know, to the exterior side. So therefore recollection is this living in one thing.

[12:08]

Looking at things in their inner aspect. One can also say that recollection is that drawing out the line to Christ. There's other important aspects of it, you know, recollection. We draw out the line to Christ. Because, you know, that's the way up we have line. A line is dark, you know, but then it's soft. We don't draw it out. to cry. We feel the pain. We are sick. Then what do we think? We think, no, [...] we cannot work. We cannot do what we are supposed to do. And then we get terribly upset, terribly upset.

[13:11]

Now, you see, then, it can be simply enough to reconnect it, or reconnect the object. That means the door going to the peace of Christ, going to that hidden heart of the store, to that hidden heart of the store. And then, of course, we come, and also we come to the realization Now this is the moment where cries wait for me in the encirclement. They are hiding. We may have drawn out the lines to cry. Very often we don't do that, we just get lost. For example, we see this often in the world, you know, people who are hit by certain unexpected great sorrow. Terribly then get lost in their soul.

[14:16]

They don't throw out the line to cry. Sometimes they don't even want to do it. They get so lost in their soul that they develop an inner attitude of self-pity as the only source of their comfort. They end up causing too much important self-pity You haven't drawn out the lines to Christ. You live in the periphery. You are not really recollected. Why get so into the pleasure of this? I have to do this, do that, do that. Then after a while it wears me down. It wears me out.

[15:18]

I have drawn out the line to cry. I have just, you know, I have had sometimes to do that, you know, in order instead of being recollected, we just become victims, you know, of constant conflicting tendencies. Conflicting. We are often the case, that's the sign, and we are not recollected, we don't really live in the depth of our being. On the one hand, you know, when we, uh... We hate being busy. On the other hand, we like it somehow. Let's be careful to leave, for example, this conflict between Mary and Martha. Sometimes we just get stuck in the conflict. When we are busy, we want to be married. When we are married, you get that we are not martyrs.

[16:28]

The sign that we don't, we live in the periphery. We haven't really recollected, you know, on this drawn-out line. Want me to know of recollection? The important thing in recollection is, you know, in the name of Christ, always and in absolute obedience to him that he takes the now situation in which you are in. Now, at this moment, as Christ calls you to do the wholehearted good job, at this moment, throw all your worries for the future and for the past on Christ, He is the hailing, the yesterday, and he is the future, the first of all in this moment he is beholden to death.

[17:32]

To death and to death, but don't harm your heart. As an important element, recollection is bringing the breaking through of all external conflicting agencies that tear us in this direction, tear us in that direction, getting it loose on them, getting it loose on the other direction, and getting completely out of tune this time tomorrow. And we're completely happy we're doing this at this moment, because it is done, because it is It is done in the greatest general order. Don't decide for me. To say the least. Hold it! Now I'm... That is really a recollection.

[18:36]

It's best reaching out the gun in this moment. Very often I may be wrong, since the school understands that we say now, we cannot be a good non-justice movement, therefore we wait until, you know, maybe tomorrow. Sometimes we do that too, you know, we consider and say now, this is just time for separation, but then in the future, I say, now that too is a dangerous answer. In fact, in Christ, the present moment is open. He exists in between to everyone. Because, you see, if I want my own future, if I want to open that door that I want to open, then I get, you know, I get torn into walls.

[19:38]

Then I get tired. That's what the devil wants. He wants to run around in circles, dig around in circles, but not to rest in the first place. But in fact, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't. Every moment, you know, the rear isn't part of it. Here's the law. So therefore that is just to indicate or to point into the direction there seems to me to recollect life. Therefore non-statemental techniques in which you, for example, too have such a little wrong way of looking at it, you say you have constantly answering, you know, the mentally concentrated, you know, on crime. And at the same time, somehow, you have to do something else.

[20:43]

That means that splitting of attention. Now that is not recollection. Splitting of attention. Sometimes it doesn't work. Very often it doesn't work. There are, of course, kinds, for example, of activities, kinds of activities, which are so mechanical, you know, that in doing them, you simply can think of something else. That's false. And if you are then thinking, you see, of your service, of the Lord, of all the things, you know, praying for what service did you come and to become the real person for which you come, And if you go into a prayer, then of course there you are recollected. But very often you have to do a thing, you know, which requires your entire attention. Now, in a case like that, you should not think, you know, that recollection itself, you know, of God, means, you know, already, let us say, thinking about the Lord, you know, let us say, in a kind of a philosophical way, you know.

[22:04]

Recollection is not, for example, simply moving theological problems in your mind. That's not recollection. But recollection is the inner quiet realization sometimes without words, without any concept, without holding any concept. That's the inner quietly standing in the Lord's love. And love, of course, used to be perceived as a very, one can say, a very quiet thing. A very, you know, kind of, you know, stable thing. But it is not necessarily thinking about God. And that, too, is the reason why recollection is completely compatible with

[23:10]

Do the instincts of truth that take your entire attention. That seems like it's in the heart of the temple, yet nevertheless seems there. You know you are carried by Christ. You know you are in living Christ. Sometimes good relations simply consist that, and I think even, as I say, serving a... a soul, you know, something like that. You can, in doing it, cutting through wood, you know, you can just take a little breath, you know, and... and just, you know, put yourself to Christ's love, or you... I mean, that's not a thing that is done with... with complicated thinking. Just as I like taking your breath. Because it really is that easy, easy to reach the love of God.

[24:13]

It is. Because He defaces, surrounds. So now, concerning the practice of time, concerning the practice of time and of recollection, I wanted to point out two things. One, of course, is that I think that night silence is quite well observed here. I wanted to point out that part of the night silence, that night silence does, you know, I mean, that inner, you know, that inner colloquium with God. The night, in that way, is God's preserve, you know. It's there for that, for that inner rest, you know. We are not only, I mean bodily, of course, going to bed, you know, and resting, but that is only that symbol of our inner just leaning our head completely on the Lord.

[25:23]

Therefore, it is The night silence is not only preserved by not talking during the night silence, but the night silence has also been preserved by putting out of your hands, you know, all, let's say, work, you know, that, for example, through essentially noisy work, that belongs today. For example, the break of the night silence years after conflict, you know. You were especially in the house every day as it is here in the circumstances in which we live, simply sitting down and writing letters on a typewriter. The break of the night silence, especially, that is, there can be an urgent effect, you know, where, for example, We tell her that we have to get her out of the house of death.

[26:29]

That cannot be done without explicit permission. There is an explicit permission necessary, either from the abbot or from the prior. Therefore, one cannot presume, you see, that there will be a session here, you know. Somebody goes, the tie-dryer, and ties it, and then there's a break. It breaks the whole atmosphere of the day into that night. It destroys that, you know. Everybody now, see, now this man here, you know, instead of really fulfilling the meaning of the diaspora. And that, therefore, is not allowed. One cannot do any commission at that time.

[27:30]

I would expect to say that. Nobody, of course, by the way, always gives the permission has to be in case of emergency because no individual can decide by himself if that is in case of emergency or not. It detects only me, but it detects so many others. You know how much, you know, in our circumstances, that time, at least, of nice silence is needed. But of course, sometimes, one has the impression that we go between the two extremes, you know, of nice silence and no silence.

[28:36]

But that, as you know, is not the division. But the division is night silence and day silence. Night silence and day silence. So our division is not night silence and no silence. It's very important to realize that in the time of the retreat, at the time that we can quietly, but seriously, but also in peace, you know, talk about these things and put them again, you know, in our mind and make the resolutions which are necessary in these circumstances. Night silence and day silence. I think you must especially advise the day silence is concerned. You must think if our division really would be night silence at no time. I think we would do great injustice.

[29:40]

Great injustice to the souls and great harm to the souls that come here. Because certainly silence, as we have seen from Silence is one of the advantages that the monastic life offers to us. The world knows no silence. Simply, in the world that is not known. And if you are, as long as you live in the world, you are forced to talk. Otherwise, you couldn't. So that is just one of the aspects which show you the difficulty and the danger of life in the world. Now of course if we would be as it is stated yesterday in the epistle, we would simply be conformed to this world.

[30:45]

And why do people come here? and in not heeding the silence, feel free to become conform to the world. No doubt, every one of us, we all know that. But to ingest the futility of the souls that come here, they leave their parents' jobs, they leave their homes, they leave their jobs and their career jobs that they would have in the world, and they come here. of one of the purposes why they come here is to work their salvation as to use the means, you know, that the monastic life offers to them. And as I say, one of the means that the monastic life offers to work on our salvation is the silence. We don't seek the silence, the monastery becomes the world. And then after a while, it's the first time, the first week and so on, some people made final notes.

[31:51]

It's very nice, you know. All going along very fine, you know. They had much difficulty, so I was told I talked and so on, and everybody seemed to do it, and it was a lot of fun. But then after a while, gets disgusted. Why? Because one lives on the necessary, you know. This is not really the presence of God. We have means, you know, that the monastic life offers to them. And as I say, one of the means that the monastic life offers to work on ourselves is the silence. We don't seek the silence, the monastery becomes the world. And then after a while, it's the first time, the first week and so on, some people may finalize. It's very nice, you know, all going along very fast, you know. They have much to critique, I want to talk, I talk, you know, and so on.

[32:56]

Everybody seems to do it. There's still a lot of claims. And so, but then after a while, yes, it's good. Why? because one lives on the natural sphere, you know, which is not really the presence of God. So in that way, after a while, one asks oneself, you know, what I do here, I can just as well do in the world. So then, the monastery really seems loathsome, it all means. Therefore, we all have a mutual obligation We have a mutual obligation. Any soul that comes here, we have an obligation to that soul. And if we simply don't exercise, we find that the obligation has been passed, or the soul then justifies that for which it came. Therefore, Spiritual silence is a very good means of serving one another and cooperating in one another's salvation.

[34:05]

Therefore, let us keep the day silence, especially during the work. Some people really have no sense of their day silence during the work. In the summer, in the early months, no one is seriously talking. during the work, you know, the fact, you know, that we allow, that we allow, you know, the brothers to talk during the work about things that are connected with the work, you know, taking too much advantage of. And sometimes one can see the usefulness in that way, and the reason why, for example, the traffic introduced the sign that way. Why? Because the sign language then forces you to cut it down to the essential. But as soon as the tongue gets moving, you know, you love the noise of it, you know, and you miss it every day.

[35:08]

So it's true, I mean, maybe one can of course be a nice person and agree, you know, that sign language is not in the rules. But then I mean, you see, you read the rule and the rule of the invention is just very well described first and then talk what you want. So if we take that point of view, we don't observe the rule. I think for us it's much more dangerous. Our transgression of rules is much more dangerous. We stand beside that. And we attempt, you know, to put the rule of infinity into practice. And to cut out the danger. Now, you know very well, and that is, that's the root, you know, in company. There's, you know, all, but also we have many rules, such as the spirit of the place not to observe cooking.

[36:14]

Now, you know very well that that is, of course, it's a misunderstanding, you know, but it comes from the, it's not misunderstood, our general tendency. and now it really is now true, to solve these problems. This is the way in which a mature and responsible individual would solve them. I mean, what we, I think what we feel, I don't know if we are really just or not, you know, but what we feel, you know, is a little, is that, I mean, like a sign language, you know, is a little, you know, on the side, a little on the side. that it really supposes, but may be rightly so, that monks are really immature. But I don't think that there, I mean, there's certainly in no way the intention of those who have established a custom of the time that perhaps not, but their experience is that in that way many things are avoided.

[37:40]

and there's certainly the general absence there of the monetary, you know, in that way, of regulations being kept. I would, of course, always have the tendency that we should talk of these problems as mature not by external things, of course you know very well too that we agree and that's why we say tradition of the blasphemy so that we don't want these individuals to live the community life and to stay as a kind of, how do we say, as a kind of a family life. Don't want that. But we want the community life lived in such a way that really also paternal charity, you know, can be reproduced.

[38:42]

Now it's our attitude, we don't discuss the marriage with the marriage of this and that woman, but it's our attitude that we don't want, you know, a silent witch feels appalled and which leaves the individual, supposed to be the community life, leaves the individual completely lost. And therefore the only possible, let us say, outlet of the individual is constant with the abyss or with the knowledge path or something like that. But we want, in that way, we want also a contact, you know, from one to the other, this mutual obedience of which Saint Benedict speaks, you know, in his book. And that is one of the reasons why we have appointed time in which we meet recreation.

[39:46]

in which we need an education, let's call it so, because that has been shown by the, in fact, the reason for our position has been shown in the development of the statuary that recreation is a very useful thing of promoting paternity. Provided that that recreation is conducted, you know, and they conducted, but I mean, what would you say, celebrated in the right way. And of course, for that way, the right way of celebrating the birth of Jesus, there are many rules, some rules for that too, you know. I think that we would be good, you know, for us too, to keep some views that would think, you know, that would take us from that, to think.

[40:48]

For example, one thing in recreation is that recreation hits a rock, You know, it's clearly marked, externally marked, as a, not as a clear, how do you say, boundary. Or, could you say that? Pure boundary. For example, that it is always, I think it's the same in Solemn Congregation and Biblical Congregation, As for example, it's not customary to start a re-creation, for example, immediately one comes out of church. While we are already going to, let us say, we leave, you know, the Oratory, go over here to St. Peter's, you know, for a re-creation, it's not the right way. Right after we are out of church, immediately you start to

[41:50]

Not left or right, but the custom is that one decides and the one gathers at the place of recreation. And then at the place of recreation, then usually it's up to the superior, you know, to greet the others, and then when you greet the others, then the conversation starts. practiced, I think, at least in the Bolognese congregation and I think in the Southern congregation, too. I mean, one does not, in every field, you know, have that recreation again. You see, everything is in the design of the of the of me. You know, it's so important. And also to mask our recreation as a real conception and not as something that belongs to everybody who takes it. but as a real gift. Here one goes, in silence, to the place of creation, there from Greece to Syria, Syria-Greece, the other still, and then one stops and goes on.

[43:01]

I don't consider it as an idea of a creation of God, let us say the invocation to it, only the superior talks. So we call them creations, they are the manifestation of paternal challenges. Sometimes the superior may not be good at recreation. Is it possible now? If he is not good at recreation, why shouldn't the other enjoy himself? That I don't think, you know. But, I mean, certain rules, you know, too, too, of real obedience, supernatural, you think, good life, really shouldn't be, shouldn't be up there. Otherwise, you know, we have always been, right away, before the superiors had even a chance, you know, Boom, another one has already pushed the recreation to a certain direction.

[44:09]

So that's not the right way. Then, too, one should intervene in the recreation to observe a certain, always a certain mutual respect. I mean, the usual respecting the people. If the father says something, or walks and says something, no one has to be a little ascetic, you know, one who has to then to be silent, you know, and cut off ears to other voices, and gives the senior a chance, you know, to talk. And in that way it makes sense the recreation of, you know, the play of an ordinary character. Taritas folia. But as I say, that kind of ordinance does not mean that nobody should talk to the superiors about that.

[45:13]

around your lap at half that time. And then Father Abbott did it, of course. He came with, if you want to see something, you can only do it this way. And he just went into hiding. You can see behind this tremendous newspaper. And then you see what we call the lower house, you know, from the top. The moment there was never there. Confident, it's all right. And then here and there, the newspaper was going. Smiling at the lower house. But, of course, something to belong to there. I think that's the thing that we should think about, you know, among artists, and that is to make near and dear.

[46:16]

I wouldn't say that every recreation should be planned beforehand. You know, it would be terrible sometimes to, you know, That isn't possible, but I think one should, you know, make recreation a kind of service of charity, you know, and here and there, you know, one may think, you know, for example, something happened during the day, and it really was funny, and everybody on those, everybody would enjoy, you know. Now just keep it in your mind and say now, oh, I'm going to say that actually. So, do not expect contrary creation, just expect to be entertained. So, without ever making a contradiction of your own. But in recreation, everybody should think a little and make a little contribution, you know, and do a little service a little, you know. And that's what, you see, that's been cooperation, you see, in that sense.

[47:18]

And therefore, too, one shouldn't... You won't see somebody making a contribution to the event. Sometimes the reaction of nature is, oh, now we need to have together that kind of thing. And then one shuts them off, you know. Now that isn't good either, you know. I mean, there are some people who just have one topic, you know, I mean. And he has never left. Today, now, we all live in the existence of any kind of living in order to live in a town. Now, many things could be said in that relation, but they may be too personal. But here and there would be good to, you know, for example, I don't say always, but in that plan of recreation, even if it looks like good resolution, I'm there, you know, we can do something really useful. I think, for example, in some places,

[48:20]

in which we gave them now, that is, you know, they sit together and I think it was started here sometime, but then it was stopped again, but for example to make rose wreaths and stuff like that, you know, it had disappeared then, because it was stopped again. You know, I mean, here and there, you know, it gives a certain atmosphere, you know, of a loosening up, you know. If everybody sits there, you see, and just waits, you know, until somebody is caught, you know, that would be a kind of a stiff affair, not nice. And here and there, you see, just doing something, because there are It gives, you know, it gives a certain fullness, you know, to a creation. Or we can all together, you know, for example, take some pictures or slides, you know, here and there, or listen to music.

[49:28]

But then one should, I think that is important for recreation too, that we keep, you know, a certain restraint. And that is true, too, for these little two-hour raids, you know, at St. John's. that we don't, you know, go too much. You know, sometimes I see at St. John's, you know, people that go to St. John's, you know, and when you be a father, you think like this, you know, and frankly, it's the other way. Now, those things are literally, you know, there are certain things that, you know, of monastic attitude, you know, that should constantly be preserved, you know. I mean, we can never take vacation, you know, from God, that way. We cannot take vacation from monastic life. That's important, and that is in the meaning of being together, to our way, as they talk.

[50:30]

Then one can always speak that immediately. As soon as the limits are not observed, then immediately the reaction is not that of enjoy, but that of being. Everything that is too much in a barn thing, we need to clean it. And that too is, for example, in the walks. The walks are another means, you know, a legitimate means. The long-customary and monastic tradition cede again of giving that little oasis, you know, of paternal charity. and even the exercise of giving the change or thought that they need for a true and legitimate relaxation.

[51:34]

The loosening of many tensions and all that may be there. But then a walk through should be used in the service of the service dog. That means a walk through which should This is a compact disc copy of the original wire recording made in January of 1954 by Rev. Fr. Damasus Windsor. Please note that the original wire recording of this retreat conference ended right here. This is a copy of Conference No. 8 given by Rev.

[52:35]

Fr. Damasus in January of 1954 to the Mount Savior community on the occasion of their annual retreat. Another note, since the original wire recording was severely damaged many years ago, the beginning portion of conference number 8 is missing. Also, of all the conferences that were given in January of 1954, only conference number 3 and number 8 are extant.

[53:22]

@Transcribed_v004
@Text_v004
@Score_JJ