I wanted to mention some books that have touched me since I saw you last in 1979. It doesn't necessarily mean they're the best books out there, but they're books that I've read that I've really been struck by and found helpful, and perhaps you will or have also. One was Holiness by Donald Nickel, Community and Growth by Jean Vanier, The Way of Paradox, Spiritual Life as Taught by Meister Eckhart, by Sabrine Smith, a Benedictine from Ampleforth. Sacred Reading, you have in your gift shop, I saw, The Ancient Art of Lectio Divina by Michael Casey. In Search of True Wisdom by Sergius Bolshikov, visits to Russian monks, or maybe monks of Mount Athos also. A very old book, The Hidden Face, A Study of St. Therese of Lisieux, by Ida Gores. The Commentary of Adelbert de Vauguer, I also saw in your library, on the life of Saint Benedict, something that's sometimes very difficult for moderns to read, the life of Saint Benedict, but de Vauguer has very good commentary, I think, on that life of Saint Gregory.

[01:13]

A very excellent book that I've already read twice, which is rare for me, is The Roots of Christian Mysticism, by Olivier Clément, an Orthodox layman, I believe, published by New City Press, Roots of Christian Mysticism. It's excellent, I feel. The Word in the Desert, Scripture in the Quest for Holiness, quite familiar with that too, by Douglas Burton Christie. And another one that I see in your shop, How Not to Say Mass. It's not the most profound thing in the world, but I found it very useful for celebrating the Ledger Chief. I want to speak today about obedience. As I say, we want to just touch on some of the chapters of the Rule. The early chapter on the Abbot yesterday, Chapter 5 on obedience today. And I'd like to begin and conclude each conference with a little quote or rhyme or saying, which may or may not relate to the actual talk, but they're things that I think are worth sharing and maybe do relate in some way.

[02:25]

There's a famous little rhyme you've probably heard before. To live with the saints in heaven is bliss and everlasting glory, but to live with them on earth, ah me, that's another story. Here we are living together under a rule, and an abbot, and in obedience. It's one of our vows. And in this vow we are called to a very concrete carrying out the gospel concept of meekness. And this is one of the themes I'm trying to touch on in all of these conferences, our meekness, humility. And we are certainly called to do that in the vow of obedience. The rule tells us that the first step of humility, and that is the chief and most important sign of our humility, is unhesitating obedience, or prompt obedience. And this means a total giving or surrender of ourselves at all times, and not just when we're given a specific order.

[03:31]

misunderstand obedience. Oh, that means at certain times your superior tells you to do certain things and you have to do them. It's more than that, we know. Our life together in its day-to-day ordinariness requires that we strive to have an attitude of surrender and self-giving at all times. And we know we don't always live up to that, but that's the ideal at all times. And we know well enough that by nature we tend more towards holding out closing in on self, maintaining our autonomy at all costs. The strength of a willing heart is found in knowing how to get out of oneself in order to be completely at the service of others, for the love of God and of neighbor. This is at the heart of monastic obedience. And put into practice, monastic obedience is the truest, most complete form of poverty an expression of the greatest love one can have in this world, to lay down one's life for others.

[04:38]

In fact, Benedict says prompt obedience is characteristic of those who hold Christ more precious than all else. We read in the Gospel a little parable about a man who sold everything because he found a field containing a treasure. and also a parable about a merchant who finds a precious pearl and sells everything to have it. Both of these parables are about possessing the kingdom. We know also that the kingdom to be possessed is Jesus Christ himself. The treasure is eternal life, reunion with the Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. All our acts of interior or exterior obedience, then, are expressions of dying to self to have something greater, the pearl of great price, the very treasure, to have Christ Himself the most precious of all things our hearts desire.

[05:41]

We might ponder, too, the prophetic words of Isaiah, chapter 43, where God speaks of paying dearly for His beloved Israel. because you are precious in my sight and honored and I love you. We are aware that the Lord himself, the creator of heaven and earth, holds us as most precious of all his creation. We know that he paid for our ransom from sin and death by shedding his blood. There could be no greater sign of God's love for us to lay down one's life for one's friends. So our obedience in community becomes our response to what God has done for us. If nothing is more precious than Christ, then we are willing to sell everything, leave everything, lose everything, to acquire the One who is everything.

[06:44]

And what we sell, what we leave, what we lose, is really tiny in comparison with what we gain in Christ. I love this saying of Saint Cyprian, Prefer nothing to Christ, because he has preferred nothing to you. Seen in this perspective, monastic obedience becomes something joyful, not a burden. It becomes a means by which we realize the full potential of our vocation. When someone finds a treasure and attempts to acquire it, isn't he or she filled with rejoicing? And the work doesn't end with acquiring the treasure, but in seeing it brought to completion by benefiting the individual and others, seeing it grow and become a source of life and light for many. This idea of Christ as the great treasure, the pearl of great price, should give us joy even when we struggle to obey.

[07:50]

And who doesn't struggle sometimes in obedience? To surrender ourselves in day-to-day, year-in, year-out obedience. If prompt obedience is characteristic of those who hold Christ more precious than all else, then to hesitate, hold back, is counterproductive, taking us farther from our goal, Christ. To obey means to put aside, to do violence to our self-centered focus, in order to be directed totally toward the greatest good before us, the Holy Other. We have to be careful with this word, doing violence, this type of violence or resistance to my egotistical nature, might be a better way to say it. resistance to what we prefer, for the kingdom of heaven is really the strength of the meek. It is a sign of docility to the Holy Spirit.

[08:52]

The Lord says of them, when you heard, when he heard me, he obeyed me. From this chapter of the Rule on Obedience, when he heard me, quoting from the Psalms, a sense of not having even finished speaking and expressing God's will, and already the meek is ready to complete, without hesitation, that which is to be done. Hesitation comes when we are not totally free, and none of us is totally free, so we work at this, maybe especially during times of retreat, to be freer. and resist the making calculations about whether we are really convinced or not to go through with it all. When we take time to prepare our defense or our self-preservation, we falter in really free obedience. Instead, the really free, the one holding Christ more precious than all else, doesn't delay, but acts right away, secure in himself and secure in God.

[10:00]

So Benedict says, such people immediately abandon their own affairs and put aside their self-will. They immediately empty their hands, dropping whatever they are doing to carry out with the quick step of obedience the order of the one who commands. It is as if the order were given by the master and carried out by the disciple at the same instant. Both command and response take place almost simultaneously with an alacrity caused by the fear of the Lord. It is the Lord that drives these people to progress toward eternal life. I might mention the translation I'm using for The Rule is this recent edition that I see right over here in your periodicals by Terence Cardone. It's a very good translation and commentary. Excellent, excellently done. Benedict clearly expresses here his esteem and enthusiasm for such monks who are really strong, really genuine, yet meek, men with hands and hearts free.

[11:05]

What's superior does not also long for such members in the community. as workmasters, we call them, in our community, maybe here also, some brothers are very, very easy to ask to do almost anything. And any other brothers with fear and trepidation, I have to ask them. I know they'll do it, but it's just harder to ask, because there may be reluctance, resentment, hurt, and that's life. But it's wonderful to experience these brothers who say, whatever you need, I'll do. To serve God well, it is essential to know how to detach oneself from one's own way and attach oneself to God's ways. Jesus was said to have been always occupied with the things of his Father. We see this in various places in the Gospels. Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house? I speak these things as the Father instructed me.

[12:07]

I always do what is pleasing to the Father. If I am not doing the work of my Father, then do not believe me. The Father is in me, and I am in the Father. From the moment we too live in a condition of poverty, we consider all things not as mine, but of the Father. Renunciation of self, which we promised to do by a vow of obedience, opens us up to another dimension of possessing. Jesus assures us that he who really loves his life will find it in Christ. This finding ourselves in Christ must grow in us every day, really, as we grow deeper in the mystery of our own self-emptying, the idea of kenosis, an imitation of Jesus himself. Obedient unto death was the Master, and so we must be too, without hesitation or regret.

[13:10]

and this beautiful idea of until death. So if we fail, we get up. I remember Benedicta Ward emphasizing that on some conferences she gave. The great desert tradition, you fall, but you get up. You fall, but you get up. And so we've got a lifetime to work on it. Then we can experience, too, the way of the humble, the meek, who knows which way really leads to life and the possession of the kingdom of heaven. fundamental to a life of obedience and is a free will as we do it. Not because we're forced to, but because we choose to. We feel called to do it. And so we personally give over and adhere to God's will. And so it's not annihilation of the person, but true fulfillment. Finding oneself as loved, redeemed by God.

[14:11]

No one can be forced to obey and call it Christian or monastic obedience. It has to be a response to an invitation, a response freely given, and yes, at times given with some pain or sorrow, but nonetheless, given trusting that God will be found in the midst of that giving. The choice of living in a monastery to walk under the guidance and judgment of others, the rule, the abbot, our brothers, Even our guests should find us discovering the road of true liberty in the Christian sense. Now, a wonderful quote from Cassian. Poor monks came to the great pambo one day and called his attention in passing to their virtues. One to his fasting, a second to his poverty, and a third to his charity. Of the fourth one, the three others reported that after twenty-two years he still remained under obedience to one abbot, whereupon Pambo told them, ìThe virtue of this fourth is the greatest.

[15:20]

You others have acquired your virtues by following your own way, but this one parted with his own will and did the will of another.î Such men are confessors, in the sense of martyrs, if they persevere unto the end. I want to say something about our stability. I won't talk about it as a separate conference, but relating to our obedience, the other important vow. Obedience is not possible if we do not remain stable under a rule and an abbot. It's the problem of the Serabites and the Jairovites. They are not under a rule, nor an abbot. And so, without these things, we are left under our own authority, and not a monastic one. It is easy to set up a life according to one's preferences, but something else entirely, to give oneself over in obedience to an abbot, a rule, brothers, and community, even when they drive us crazy.

[16:30]

Doing such is not easy to live in community. It leaves us vulnerable at times, under one who is called to guide an entire community, and with brothers who are less than perfect. Living together as brothers reveals who we really are much faster than recounting who we are to one who doesn't see us living in the day today. Benedict's idea, then, is that community and abbot become the source of my spiritual direction, rather than an outside father, master, guru, director. All of these may be helpful at a time, but fundamental to a Benedictine spirituality is living in obedience under a rule and an abbot in a specific place, the monastery of one's profession. And so you know that Benedictines don't make a big thing of spiritual direction the same way the Jesuits or other orders might.

[17:35]

There definitely is spiritual direction, but we find it in dialoguing and responding to our superior, to our community, to the life we have right here. The abbot and the brothers are the reflection of God for us. So, when Benedict says we live in the presence of God, he calls us to give ourselves over to this community in faith, in believing we meet God here, in our Abbot, in our mutual obedience to one another and to those who may come here. The common life in our monastery, then, is a sacrament of the Heavenly Father present, who always sees us. Here we discover in our full obedience a participation in the obedience of Christ, our guide and our goal. Our monastic obedience can be seen, too, as an echo of the obedience of the entire Church.

[18:36]

We live in a time of much dissension, disagreement within the Church, and I believe we monks can play a very important and prophetic role that of our total self-giving and love, even when we may personally disagree with a community or church policy, directive, or superior, the Pope even, or our own superiors. To be under a rule and an abbot means to suffer, and like Christ, to learn obedience through what we suffer. Knowing how difficult to complete That doesn't mean blind obedience, but we know how difficult it is to be completely obedient, can be, as St. Benedict points out, a very important feature of our life. So it's not to be reluctantly, hesitatingly given, but as a response to full and joyful love, full of enthusiasm and generosity.

[19:40]

Benedict goes on to tell us, this obedience will only be acceptable to God and humanly attractive if the command is not executed fearfully, slowly, or listlessly, nor with murmuring or refusal. Why? Because obedience can be seen as a truly spiritual offering, even a form of worship of God. because Saint Benedict says, obedience given to superiors is given to God who said, whoever listens to you listens to me. It is a matter or question of faith, given with the belief that there is more to our obedience than usually meets the eye. It's a response to the mystery of God with us, Emmanuel, the season we just completed. So we strive to obey gladly. The word Benedict uses two words, bono animo. And this bono animo is fitting for a meek soul, because it is intended to be done with sweetness, without roughness, hardness.

[20:49]

And Benedict goes on to quote 2nd Corinthians, God loves a cheerful giver. We do it cheerfully. And this is the way God has dealt with us, each of us, willingly, cheerfully, with bono animo. We are called to deal with Him in one another the same way. Obedience in the monastery can be seen as a sign of gratitude for the freely given love God has given to us. When we obey, we do the minimum in our saying thank you to God. The Lord doesn't just want the external obedience, of course, conformity with the norm of expectation. He wants our whole heart. And when we don't achieve that complete self-giving, when we resist, falter, fear, God does not reject us. Unfortunately, in some Catholic teaching, the opposite has been emphasized, that if we fail, God is really angry at us.

[21:58]

But He is awaiting a humbled, contrite heart. accepting our efforts, and even our meager attempts, to do all with love. So the chapter on obedience speaks to us about a fundamental monastic goal, to be totally consecrated, dedicated, body and soul, to the things of God, even in the mundane works that we do day to day. It is a lifelong process, a daily saying yes to God, to become in the process more and more free, to be the Lord's, to live for Him, not just with words, but in truth and in action. There's an expression in the rule of Akari Deo, and it can mean freedom from self-will, freedom from our projects, affairs, in order to be completely at the service of our God, seeking always to know God's way for us, and carrying them out joyfully.

[23:04]

It's a freedom we seek, and it's a gift of the Holy Spirit, calling for our full cooperation to bring it about, God's grace at work in us, and we choosing, by what we say and do, to be really free, using our energy to construct the kingdom as best we can according to the plan of God, and hence not laboring in vain. The quote I want to conclude with is a very nice Latin phrase, any Latin scholar can translate it, but I have a translation for it too, but it was apparently a eulogy of a Carthusian monk. Founded in a book on the history of the great chartreuse. Magnum fecit ordini, nomen cum suum David. Would be wonderful if this could be said of us as well when we die. He served the order well by becoming a member.

[24:12]

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen. Amen. Nomen cum sum, David. He served the order well by becoming a member. I was going to ask Father Christian if we could just simply photocopy it.

[25:22]

Say that, Father? Everything? No, your bibliography. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I've got somebody up there who's willing to type it and pass it on. We can just photocopy it. It's as simple as that. You're right. It's readable. Okay. It manages to monitor all of it. Amen. Come Holy Spirit, enlighten us as we continue on our journey during these days of retreat. Help us to open our hearts completely to your loving will that we may be responsive, docile, joyful servants in the kingdom as you have called us. We give you praise, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, now and forever. Amen. Father Martin asked me at lunch if I'd ever been in this neck of the woods other than to visit Mt.

[26:25]

Savior, and I had to say, no, I haven't. But I have to say, I have some roots in this area. My grandmother was born in Buffalo, New York, and went with her family probably in 1910 or something around there to Washington State, where she grew up, and then met my grandfather. Both of them, though, were French-Canadians, Boisvers and Lames. My father's side is German, but my mother's side, very French-Canadian. Also, I realized tonight that my first grade teacher lives in Rye, New York, so I'm trying to get a hold of her. She is a sister of the Holy Child Jesus. They educated me in Oregon, and a lot of them from this neck of the woods, so I'm going to try to track her down. A quote from Merton, who we know loved this community, When people come together, there is always some kind of presence, even the kind that can give a person an ulcer.

[27:25]

What we have to do is arrange things in such a way that the presence is a positive and not a negative experience. From his Springs of Contemplation book, it really was transcriptions of talks he gave to contemplative nuns, I want to speak about silence tonight, realizing that that's a very important factor in our life of preventing too many ulcers, that we have real times and places of silence, not just to prevent ulcers, but to positively grow in our experience of God. Life has shown us, and monks before us, that many words, useless speech, can cause us to become what St. Paul would call a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And it's difficult to speak about silence. It's an irony. Why shouldn't we just be quiet?

[28:29]

But we do know that there is a need at times to talk about silence. We know the importance of it for our monastic journey, of restrained speech, of speaking the essential. But we live at a time of unnecessary talk, noise for its own sake, and so another look at silence might be useful for us. Fortunately, in the monastery, and in a monastery like this one, we are less subjected to bombardment of words, but we know it can creep in, and the inner noise of our thoughts are also contrary to the authentic silence we desire as monks. Saint Benedict, in the footsteps of the great monastic teachers before him, was deeply steeped in the Word of God, and proposes in chapter 6 of the Holy Rule a love of silence, which goes hand-in-hand with a love of the Word. Silence promotes and helps to grow within the heart that most important Word, the Divine Word.

[29:40]

the Logos Jesus Christ, and disposes one to the action of the Holy Spirit in our daily life. The inclination toward a fruitful silence is a sign that a monk is aimed at meekness, listening to God on the path of following the Master without compromise. As usual, Saint Benedict supports his teaching on silence with appropriate scripture quotes. His use of Psalm 38 is fitting, and while he doesn't give a rigorous interpretation of the psalm, he provides an application of an ancient text to the contemporary reality. The psalm text we know well, though I use the translation of Terence Carnon. I said I will guard my ways so as not to sin with my tongue. I placed a guard at my mouth. I was speechless and humiliated, refraining even from good speech."

[30:44]

Psalm 38. Benedict's commentary on it is this. We ought to refrain from speaking good words on account of the intrinsic value of silence And so much the more ought we stop speaking evil words out of fear that it will be punished as sin." In the chapter on silence. The necessity of keeping guard on oneself to avoid sinning with the tongue and to keep oneself free from falling into dissipation was an important concern of Benedict. So he sees a value even in refraining from good speech. And we can ask, is there a better model of this than God's own efficacious silence? There is in God's silence a presence that is more communicative than any words. Chapter 6 of the Rule continues, Therefore, due to the great importance of silence itself, perfect disciples should rarely be granted permission to speak even good, holy and edifying words.

[31:57]

For it is written, in much speaking you will not avoid sin, quoting from Proverbs, and elsewhere, death and life are in the hands of the tongue, also from Proverbs. Maybe we feel, especially as Americans, that we have to speak, but perhaps that is based on human criteria alone, not spiritual criteria. More difficult is to follow the advice of the spiritual writers, the ancestors in monastic life, saying that it may be better to be silent, to be in communion with God in prayer, encouraging within us a growth in charity, preparing us for relating with others. If we think about this and succeed in doing it, we'll probably achieve a deeper, truer, longer-lasting communion than an unbridled spewing forth of words without content.

[33:01]

And speaking is certainly a gift of God with a very important function. Knowing when and how to use it takes much work, discipline, and prayer. I like what Terence Cardong says about it all, referring to Ambrose Watham's study on silence, that Benedict's notion of silence, the Latin word taciturnitas, is not simply an absence of words, physical silence, but connotes something more. Cardon says, a person who is sufficiently serene and wise so that his words arise out of silence and his silence itself speaks eloquently, the truly taciturn person will not use words to mask his inner emptiness, nor will he maintain a dumb silence when a good word is needed. And this reminded me here of the symposium that was here, and Fr.

[34:05]

Martin reminded me in 1972 it was, the Word Out of Silence. And I remind you, this is the 25th year commemorating that event. The time has flown. I remember when it happened. I was a novice at Mount Angel. To become integrated monks, we need to strive for a silent language, words out of silence, an interior habit, a spiritual approach to words, and the lack of words. Monks are always on the way, we've said that already, on pilgrimage, on a journey. We're never finished. We're always disciples, learners, until our death. Nothing to be ashamed of. And as such, monks are dedicated to changing, converting, that's one of our vows, becoming meek and more like Christ, the model and goal of our journey. The invitation of the rule to one interested in embracing monastic life is a very biblical word.

[35:13]

Listen, vishema, hear, O Israel, obskulta, the first word of the rule. To listen means to be silent in some form, presumably physically restraining from words, but that's not enough. We have to have a quiet and open heart to receive the word of God, to receive the word of the Master for our lives. So, real silence is ever giving space to God and to the things of God on the path of ego-reduction, we could call it, and seeking the Thou, giving God first place in our life. So, we're all called to be Christophers, bearers of Christ, the One Word. bearers of the Holy Spirit, who speaks essential words, the essential word, Jesus, and who calls to the Father with unspeakable sighs, the scripture says.

[36:19]

But we know in our journey that we fall short of this ideal, agitated with hundreds of voices that can become idols, or at least real distractions, to a serene interior that we long for. But that is no reason to give up, to be discouraged. By the grace of God, we can progress, achieve what may seem humanly impossible. Humility and prayer are vital in this, meekness and openness called for. Verbosity, insisting on talking whenever one feels like it, shows a lack of meekness, of awareness of being a servant of the Lord, more ready to listen than to talk. And so we want the grace of being able to believe that being oneself, expressing oneself, does not necessarily imply a lot of words.

[37:22]

In fact, it may mean few or no words at all. Not forever, but in cases where we think we should be talking, maybe we don't need to. Expressing oneself doesn't mean affirming aloud one's ideas, convictions, but of readily listening to others before expressing one's own, reflecting before speaking, giving the Word a chance to be in our heart before we present it. That's not a highly prized notion today, but Saint Benedict expects it of his disciples. The brothers should offer their advice with all deference and humility, and not presume to assert their views in a bold manner. He says in chapter 3 on calling the brothers for counsel, often it is better to reflect in silence, in patience, in prayer, before discussing or responding.

[38:25]

And that's the key, always responding rather than reacting. Often, though, we fail in this, but we believe there's hope. We go on and try another time. It calls for a watchfulness of vigilance over one's thoughts, which is an ancient monastic discipline. Guarding, which doesn't mean denying or annihilating one's heart. Doing this may help in another area which Benedict realizes is part of human nature, but needing a correction. This is also from chapter 6 on silence. As for crude jokes and idle talk aimed at arousing laughter, we put an absolute clamp on them in all places. We do not permit the disciple to so much as open his mouth for such talk. Cardon points out in his commentary that much ancient comedy was obscene, and we could probably say that's becoming true today as well.

[39:33]

So many of the comedians on TV are obscene. And so, part of the reason why Benedict is so opposed to laughter, because of its frequent association with obscenity, but we today, and I think it's valid, take a certain amount of humor and laughter for granted as a sign of a balanced and healthy personality. So we can say it is good to cultivate a sane lightness that is always welcome when tensions and tediousness find their way into the common life we lead. But Benedict would also call for moderation in this, a finesse to discern the spirit of appropriate halaritas, joyfulness, laughter. Cultivating prayer and silence will give an appropriate degree of lightheartedness to the monk, extending to others the peace of heart within, and that usually means a joyful heart as well.

[40:40]

It can't be authentic prayer or silence if the result is doom and gloom, this stay-out-of-my-path kind of attitude that we perhaps all met up with in the monastery, and maybe we have even been bearers of this negative fruit on occasion. I know I have. Ask my brothers. Keeping watch over one's thoughts can achieve a recollected interior, at once open to others, attentive to God's presence. And this is the attitude of real humility, meekness, and you could say adoration. Each of us, we believe, is a holy temple of God, in which a liturgy of silence is to be continually celebrated. We take in God's Word, we chant it in public, we chant it in silence, like an ongoing symphony or a covered fire, where we cradle the seed of the Word until it blossoms into good deeds and words, all done out of love of God and of others.

[41:50]

So we should desire the gift of silence as we desire every gift of the Holy Spirit. Our Father Benedict was always zealous about truth and wishes that we monks, in order to become more and more men of truth, become familiar with and lovers of silence. This implies a degree of restraint in speaking and wandering noisy thoughts. just as destructive as idle words, the thoughts, Logismoi, that you probably considered when Fr. Jeremy was here at the Vagrius. We seek a humble heart that is always open to silence of listening to the Word, that is God, spoken in the silence of love. And silence is not an end in itself, but a means to many other monastic virtues. Saint John Climacus said, the lover of silence is a friend of wisdom and is continually receiving new light from heaven.

[42:59]

A friend of wisdom is the lover of silence. To be positive and productive, our silence during the day, after Compline, must look toward wisdom and light. And, of course, that wisdom and light is Christ himself. The power of God and the wisdom of God, St. Paul says to the Corinthians. Power and wisdom. The practice or observance of silence is aimed at interior transfiguration, always keeping us aware of our poverty and fragility before God. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. And the silence of the monk is intended for communion with God, with one another, with all of creation. and living in a beautiful place like this, we need to keep that in mind, that part of our silence is simply to be in God's presence in the beautiful creation around us, worship Him as the creation is worshiping Him by its existence.

[44:10]

So, our silence is meant as an aid to becoming men of the essential, the basics, letting go of superficiality, of the false ego, of giving a tone to all of our monastic existence. And yes, even talkative monks can be lovers of silence, and the seemingly silent may be less than silent. You're familiar with this desert quote. An old man said, One man is thought to be silent, and yet his heart judges and condemns others. And the man who acts thus speaks continually. Another man speaks from morning till evening, and yet keeps silence. That is to say, he speaks nothing which is not helpful. Before God, our inflated ego is reduced to a voice that proclaims the beauty, goodness, holiness of the One from whom all things came into existence and are sustained.

[45:21]

Silence is much more than the absence of words. It is something intended to give color and taste to our common life. It is the face of the poor, we could say, too, an expression of an interior life, poor but on fire with the love of God and the love of others. our solitude and silence become a true expression of our desire then to be unified, monos, one, monos. And when we are humble enough to truly let God to go to work within us, flooding our hearts with His peace, we can really abandon ourselves into God's hand. deepen our silence, and we deepen our meeting with God. And our words, then, are to be like filtered water.

[46:24]

This is a big concern of our life in the desert. We either have water with a lot of iron in it or a lot of salt in it, so we usually have to filter it in some way. And our words are meant to be filtered, giving life and encouragement, pure and good to drink. And here I think of a Buddhist teaching that I found in Donald Nichols' book that is not as good as this book called Holiness, but this one is called The Testing of Hearts, a pilgrim's journal. It was something he kept, a journal he kept while he was a minister, what do you call it, director of the Tantur Ecumenical Institute in Jerusalem. He wrote a journal called The Testing of Hearts. It's interesting, but not... not as overwhelming to me as holiness. Anyway, he said, from a Buddhist teaching, learn whenever you are on the point of speaking to swallow your own words.

[47:25]

If you can't swallow them, how can you expect others to do so? Swallow your own words. If you can't swallow them, how can you expect others to do so? Let us pray that God will give us help to be lovers of silence and lovers of the Word. In reply to the question, which was better, to be silent or to speak, Abbot Poiman said, He who is silent for God's sake does well. He who speaks for God's sake does equally well. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen. 20 years ago, the IOP, so-called Indian, but the USC, or UCLA, sociology professor, Carlos Castellan, had a good thing on stopping interior dialogue, talk for itself.

[49:08]

We talk to ourselves off. Even if I talk to myself off. I mean, that's one of them. The silent exterior, the murmuring, all sorts of them. That's the problem about the judgment. Bad image and everything. Comment on it. And I think that the tradition is it goes on throughout our lives and it's something we're constantly fighting, not to be surprised. Brother Xavier said, you know, he lives mostly as a hermit now. He comes to us for Mass daily and chapter meetings. But he said when he found himself addressing the squirrels that were coming up to the window of the hermitage, he knew he had to keep working on silence. He would tell them, get away from here, or he'd try to carry on a conversation with them in the school. I was in the first grade in 1959.

[50:27]

Some of you are already here. I think I'm trying to track my first grade teacher down. It was 1959, 1960. Yeah, I heard from Chris in the hall. I realized I should try to call him. They were strong in Philadelphia and they were in Suffern, I think. One of them was a close friend of them. You see what I mean? Yes, I know it. I keep getting the phone moves. there one time in Suffolk, and they also had the fire alarm in there. Some of you, he kept the light on and pulled on something to get to find the light that had been knocked off to pull the fire alarm. There's another very deep one. But they're also, they're still sisters, not from, I think it was Rosemont.

[51:29]

Yeah, that's where the principal of my school is located now. In fact, after he died, the first severe heart attack, he recovered very early. I don't even know. I don't even know. They closed so many places in the West anyway. Yeah, I know they dropped something. You know what I mean? Where's Rye? Outside of New York City? Just a little way up the creek, yeah. Yeah.

[52:25]

@Transcribed_v004
@Text_v004
@Score_JJ