I vow to realize it. Good morning. Sir, I wanted to speak this morning about one of the traditional Buddhist practices or approach to practice, and some of you heard me talk about it a little bit this Wednesday, and it's the practice sometimes known as vow. In Sanskrit, pranidhana. It could be translated also as commitment or dedication. but I want to talk about it today in terms of using it as a specific physical practice. So in the Bodhisattva way, in our practicing together to help support and realize universal liberation, to express and actualize our caring for

[01:21]

all beings. We start with, it may seem paradoxical to start with the highest vows, but that's kind of also the way in Soto Zen practice to start with the highest form of meditation. So we also start with this inconceivable vow to free all beings. It almost seems like, you know, what's that about? That's, you know, to end all delusions, to enter all of the gateways to truth, to realize Buddhahood. This seems, you know, it's like some fairy tale or something or some fantasy, this ultimate level of vow. But I feel like how we actually do that is connected to practical vows. So both levels are there together.

[02:22]

This ultimate vow to free all living beings, to awaken together with all beings, to be willing to be ourselves sitting here on our cushion and to see everything arising together, to see how in various ways we support each other or don't support each other or get all tangled up together or whatever, just here we are together and our uprightness and our willingness, maybe that's another word for vow is willingness, our dedication, our intention to practice uprightness together allows something to happen in which we are all connected. Hi there's a cushion up here and you're welcome to also turn one of the chairs around here. It's okay we're just getting started. So again these four inconceivable vows that we just chanted are not in the realm of ordinary human activity.

[03:34]

They go beyond and yet they are connected to us. One of the ways to talk about this ultimate vow of freeing all beings is also to see ourselves in an ultimate way. What is, for you, the most important thing? In a way, this is our practice as we sit facing the wall or the chairs or trying to sit upright, being present until the bell rings. You're very welcome to use a chair if you'd like. Okay. Sure. So as we sit, naturally thoughts and feelings come up, intentions come up. We see all of the ways in which our mind is jumbled around. And so particularly in

[04:40]

Suzuki Roshi used to say, what is the most important thing? And, you know, what is the most important thing, maybe different for Janine and Melody and Melinda and Sally and Nancy? What is the most important thing? Maybe different today than it is tomorrow. What is the most important thing? may change during a period of Zazen, but also there's this looking for what's really important to me. What is my life about? This is the same level as freeing all beings. How can we give a name to the meaning of this precious, wonderful, impermanent life? Still, just to look at what is, what means the most to me? What means, what is important to me?

[05:42]

It's part of our practice, an important part of our practice, and it's connected to this ultimate vow. How do we free all living beings? How do I find what I want to do with this life? Maybe this week, you know, or maybe this life. Again, it's alive, it's changing. So Suzuki Roshi also said, the most important thing is to find out what is the most important thing. But, you know, I think it's also important to find out what are the kind of fairly important things. You know, it may not be that there's one most important thing. And maybe we can never say what that most important thing is. Sometimes maybe we can. I've heard people say, what is the most important thing for them? But it might change. But, you know, what are some of the important things? What really matters to you as you sit there on your cushion, trying to be upright, inhaling, exhaling?

[06:48]

And how this is boiled down in terms of Mahayana Buddhist practice of these four vows we chanted, beings are numberless, I vow to free them. delusions are inexhaustible, my delusions. I've got to end them. Of course, everybody else's delusions and the government's delusions and you know, whatever, they're all over anyway. And then dharma gates are boundless. So actually there are ways to enter, there are gateways to enter into reality, into truth, into caring, into being this person right now, entering into freeing all beings. They are as plentiful, as numberless as the delusions. Maybe they're not different from the delusions. Maybe every delusion, every hang-up, every problem is also an opportunity. And then the Buddha way is unsurpassable.

[07:59]

I vow to realize it. So the Buddha way, it's not one thing. It's a way, it's a path, so I've been referring for a while now to this saying by Dogen, to just experience the vital process on the path of going beyond Buddha. There's a vital process, there's a path and it's alive. How do we realize it? How do we turn towards it? How do we remember, oh yeah, I said I wanted to practice you know, awakening and here I am, whatever. So in a way it's most alive when we realize that we've been not taking care of what's really important to us. So all of this I've been talking about in a way is this level of ultimate vow. But the actual practice of vow as a practice

[09:03]

can also be very specific and very concrete and very practical. So this practice of vowing is a practice like the practice of generosity, like the practice of patience, like the practice of meditation, like the practice of prashna, wisdom or insight, like the practice of knowledge, knowing how to enact our practice intention. as a particular, as a practice, as a specific practice that we can actually work on just like we, you know, endlessly work on how to be generous with ourselves and others, how to be patient with all of the problems of the world and all of the problems on my own cushion. This practice of vow is a practice we can actually take on. So part of this practice is not just this ultimate vow to free all beings, but part of how we do that is to take on particular practices, take on particular commitments, limited commitments, like, okay, I'm going to go to St.

[10:22]

Nathan's Church this morning and hear a Dharma talk, or I'm going to drive to Belenus and sit today. That's the practice of vow. we have an intention and we try and do it. Or, you know, there could be many things. There are innumerable kinds of things that we can take on as actual practices. Large and small. Various projects. Something you see that needs to be done. We need a fence over there. Okay, I'll see if I can build it. you know, very specific concrete practices. This is the practice of commitment or vow. And it's kind of relevant this year, or this time of year, because we have New Year's resolutions. So I talked about this Wednesday a little bit, but New Year's resolutions is kind of the practice of vow.

[11:24]

It's a kind of, you know, sometimes it can be frivolous, but it's a way of enacting practice. that is in our culture. There are many gateways to Dharma, even in this barbaric culture. Of course we could take on a New Year's resolution any month of the year. We could take a resolution for a week or a month or a year or a lifetime, any time. But people think about it because it's January 1st. So I talked a little bit about, I have three New Year's resolutions that I decided I would try and do this year. So one of them is just, I've been working at, is just when I walk down the street to say hello to people, to notice them, to make eye contact. And sometimes I forget what's happened, but it's actually been kind of fun. People say hello back.

[12:24]

People want to greet each other, actually. It's been very nice. There are certain places where it happens more naturally than others. I don't know if people on Bolinas say hello to each other as they pass on the street. Maybe they do more than people on San Francisco or Berkeley. But anyway, it's just a little thing. This came out of a discussion we had at one of the Wednesday sittings. I really like this as a practice. It's really simple. Anybody could do it. And then I also had a resolution to try and manage all of my different activities more effectively. So I'm reserving Thursday and Friday for my writing days, because I've got a bunch of writing projects that I have to work on. And I'm intending to kind of try and fit those in around other things. But anyway, I'm trying to organize my time more effectively. So that's the kind of, you know,

[13:26]

It's a New Year's resolution and who knows if I actually will do that. But I'm going to try. And then I have a New Year's resolution which I've mentioned and I'll mention here too, which is to try and find a place for Mount Surusanga to have a zendo that's not out of my trunk. So we're going to look for some place in the city. I'll still be coming to Belenus, but maybe we can do more three-day sittings if we can regular Zendo space that I can live, apartment or house where I can live or live nearby. So anyway, my resolution is to try and see if we can arrange that within the next two years. So these kinds of practical resolutions, I'm sure some of you have them, whether or not they're New Year's resolutions or not, they're projects, they're specific limited commitments that we make. We all do that at times. How do we take care of the things around us in the world?

[14:30]

How do we take care of family and friends and pets? How do we take care of something that you want to do? So this level of what's important to me, you know, includes lots of things. It includes, you know, it can include something as simple as, you know, making sure that you get, you know, exercise every week or or calling a friend that you haven't spoken to in a long time. There are lots of things that if we are looking at what is my intention, what am I up to, they could be positive things or they could be wonderful kind of bodhisattva things or they could be ordinary things. I sort of had a vow over the last month to to see a lot of the new Christmas season movies. So I did. I like movies.

[15:32]

I used to work on movies. I don't know if that helps anybody. I don't know if it even helped me, but I enjoyed doing it. So we have lots and lots of different things that we want to do. But part of the practice of this is to make that conscious. So you may think that you don't have any resolutions, that you don't have any particular vows, but actually, unconsciously, we have lots of them. We have things that we think we should do. We have things going back to our childhood that we may not be aware of that are ways of conducting ourselves. And when we actually take on vow as a practice, when we say, okay, I'm going to say hello to people on the street or whatever it is, I'm going to go and see, I don't know, go and see Yosemite sometime this year.

[16:42]

I don't know what it is. When we actually take on conscious, intentional vows, when we see what our intentions are, we can also see what our unintentional vows are, the things that we do habitually. that maybe we don't need to do, or maybe we don't really want to do, but we think we should do, or maybe their intention is that we got somewhere, but maybe we don't need to do that anymore. Maybe it was a good thing to do for a while, but, you know, I don't need to do that. We have a choice. We have our own, when we are aware of our intentions, we can see what our intentions are. Well, maybe I don't need to go to movies anymore. So somebody in our song had told me, I don't go to movies because I'd rather spend that time with my friends. And you know, I was kind of nice. I liked that. And that's her vow. And I really appreciated it. I still went to the movies myself. Some of them I went to with friends. Anyway, we each have various vows already. So this practice of deciding what is important to me, what am I up to, what is it that I

[17:50]

care about, what is the tenth most important thing to me? As we're sitting we see that. And when we see that we can decide, oh, do I really want to do that? Well, maybe I do. And it's not about what you think you should be doing, but it's about what is it you really want to do. So, freeing all living beings is not something that you should do. Ending all delusions is not something that I think you should do, or Buddha thinks you should do, or Suzuki Roshi thinks you should do. These are things that actually we chant them because then we have a chance to say, is that something I want to, you know, is that a path I want to be close to? And we may not know how to do it. We may not know how to say hello to the people walking by on the streets. So how do we decide, okay, this is something I want to try and do.

[18:58]

And when we start to do that, we see all the ways that we are caught by habits. It's kind of like a positive addiction to substitute a limited positive intention or vow or commitment. And by positive, it doesn't mean that it's necessarily you know, good according to, you know, somebody else's idea. It's something that, okay, I can say I want to do that. I really do want to go to those movies. Whether they're crummy or not. Whether they're even good or not. Sometimes you can have a really good time at a bad movie. So this is a little bit like mantra practice. So I want to talk about that too a little bit because even though that's a different realm of practice than vow, it's quite comparable. So when we take, so I have mentioned and I encourage you to use mantras to remind yourself of your intention during the day when you're busy, but even during zazen.

[20:14]

And so we chant sometimes the Heart Sutra which ends with this old traditional Sanskrit mantra which is supposed to have beneficial effects. We chant other things in English and sometimes, you know, a phrase may strike us and you can use that as a mantra, as something that you say silently to yourself to remind yourself of something. So, let go of hundreds of years and relax completely. Open your hands and walk innocent. We sometimes chant that. So you can just say that to yourself over and over when you feel like it. Let go of hundreds of years and relax completely. Open your hands and walk innocent. We may not even know what it means. It doesn't matter. When we do that kind of practice of saying something, or it could be a line from a song, just let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.

[21:23]

When we take those on as an intentional conscious mantra, we see the other mantras that are there, the unconscious mantras like, I can't do that, or, you know, anyway, all of our negative mantras about ourselves or the world. I don't want to see those people. I don't want to say hello to that person. So part of the practical aspect of our practices that's connected to this ultimate level of freeing all beings is actually taking on some very limited specific practice, like saying, I'd go off hundreds of years and relax completely. Or just like saying, hi Dale, hi Colleen. just to take on some intentional, specific, physical practice. It's something we actually do. Going and visiting a friend who's sick.

[22:30]

There's so many things. They're endless. These practices are endless. But this is actually how we put our Zazen to work. So I've been talking also for a while about Zazen as a creative act, as a mode of expression. So as we're sitting naturally, this body and mind is expressing our Buddha nature. And no matter what posture we're in, how we're doing that, we're expressing something always. And when we take the position of the Buddha, it expresses a particular kind of openness and awareness and uprightness, as I said. And when we're willing to do that, when we're willing to be upright and just be present with ourselves and face ourselves and not run away from who we are, it allows a kind of expression and a kind of creativity and it connects to other things we do in our life.

[23:38]

they decide to take up watercolors or writing poems or riding bicycles, you know, all kinds of creative activities. And one way to do that is this practice of vow. So this practice of vow is a way of specifically connecting our own creative energies, our own expressive personal Buddha nature with the kind of deep connection that we have some access to in Zazen. Even if you're sitting there for 40 minutes wondering when the bell's going to ring and wanting to move around because your knee's hurting or whatever, even a crummy period of Zazen, still there's something going on. that's deeper than your idea of, oh, this is a great period of Zazen, or this is a crummy period of Zazen, or whatever.

[24:45]

So this might be a crummy Dharma talk, but, you know, maybe there's something useful. And if there is, then it's okay. So this practice of, you know, maybe vow sounds too big, you know, maybe that sounds too serious, or I don't know, just to make a commitment to something. Of course, some of us are nervous about commitments, but anyway. How do we decide to take on something? Again, it could be just, you know, going to a Dharma talk or, you know, going for a swim this afternoon, whatever. It could be a very small thing. But we actually decide, I'm going to do that. And then we do it. This strengthens our zazen. This strengthens our connection to freeing all living beings. So in Buddhism, we have various ways to check that. So the precepts is also a way of looking at our practice of specific vows and universal vow.

[25:52]

So there are ways to kind of remind ourselves of what our deepest self and mind wants to do. So we say, A student of Buddha, a follower of Buddha does not kill. A follower of Buddha does not take what is not given. A follower of Buddha does not lie. A follower of Buddha does not misuse sexuality. A follower of Buddha does not encourage intoxication. These are all ways of, these are kind of vows. So formally when people take the precepts they make a vow follow these precepts. And so we have a little ceremony. You get a dormant name. This is a kind of vow. This is a kind of vow practice. And there's a positive way that we can... You have to come around the front.

[27:00]

Our door has made a vow today to not be opened. So, these precepts aren't, you know, you shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do that. They're actually ways of expressing something positive that we want to commit to. She didn't want to come in after all. So I want to encourage you all to take on this practice of just sitting every day, even 10 minutes, 20 minutes, maybe better, but just to be present with your life as it is. And connected to that is to take on other practices. So that's a kind of vow, the commitment to sit every day. So next week, I'll have been doing this for 29 years every day. And, you know, so that's my basic vow.

[28:10]

And I've missed, I don't know, a few days. But anyway, just to commit to doing something. And committing to sitting zazen is a way of committing to other things, too. Whatever it is, whatever it is that is your gift, is your joy, is your innermost desire or, you know, one of the inner desires, that you're actually going to take on being the person you are and enjoy doing what you enjoy doing. So you may think that you shouldn't enjoy doing the things you enjoy doing. You may think they're bad, but actually you should enjoy doing what you enjoy doing. So if you like eating ice cream, please enjoy when you eat ice cream, or whatever. That's a kind of practice of vow. So see what it is that you actually like to do and see how that works and what that is.

[29:15]

You may decide you don't really like to do that, but you can't find out until you're willing to actually take it on. This is like our practice of zazen. Can you be clear and say, yes, I want to do this. I want to go to the moon or whatever. So this bringing our intention to our life, to our activity, helps us see this vital process on the path of total emancipation. This vital process on the path of going beyond Buddha. Not getting stuck in some version of Buddha, but actually making Buddha alive in our life. Seeing what I want to do. and how that connects with everyone else. And of course encouraging everybody else to do what they want to do. And you know, there's a level of trust or faith involved in this.

[30:18]

Can I trust that it's okay for me to be the person I am? Can I trust that I actually can do what I want to do? That I can enjoy doing what I want to do? That it's okay. This is what's sometimes called Buddha nature. To just say, okay, here I am. I'll do this and I'll look at it and see if I really want to do it. And of course we change. Anyway, this is a little bit about this practice of dedication or vow or commitment to actually take on enjoying our life and sharing our life and bringing our life, to our life. So, any comments or questions or vows that you want to share? Yes, Cully?

[31:20]

That's the practice of vow. So to decide, I'm going to learn about birds and become a bird watcher. And then to do it, yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. So you're already doing this practice of vow. But to do it consciously, to do it saying, yeah, OK, so it sounds like you're pretty familiar with this practice. Actually physically take on doing something you want to do. When you do that, then you can You know, I'm not, I like birds. I especially like them since I found out that they used to be dinosaurs. But I don't know which, there's some birds I know. But anyway, you can, you know, tell me a little about birds sometime. Sally. Right.

[32:44]

Now, some things that people say you should do, if you don't do them, you might end up in jail. I mean, there are consequences sometimes. Well, we could take a vow to really rest, relax completely, to take a break for a couple of weeks or a couple of years and and do as little as possible. That might be a vow, that might be a way of enacting a vow. So it's not about necessarily being busy, although it might be, but it's about being conscious, it's about being aware, it's about being awake. So I believe in awareness. When we are aware of how we are expressing our Buddha nature, it becomes more alive and we can choose. I will, I want to do birdwatching, I'm going to do it. I want to find out, I want to learn about whatever, something, and so you're studying it.

[33:47]

And yet, yes, as you say, it's not about what somebody else says we should be doing. It's about actually, there's an actual practice to looking for what we want to do. Because a lot of us, a lot of the time, don't know. So the way Colleen described it, she just knew what she wanted to do at that point in time. She had certain things she wanted to do. And that happens to us sometimes. But sometimes we get caught in a routine and we forget what it is we really want to do. Or maybe there's something new that comes up. So part of our practice of zazen, part of our practice of being aware and sitting upright, is actually seeing what we really want to do. And it might be something you never thought of. And it might feel frivolous. And I want you to trust what you think is frivolous, if it's something you want. That your idea about, you know, something being important or unimportant may not be what's really important to you. It may be just what somebody told you, well, you shouldn't, you know. Birdwatching, yuck, I mean, why would, that's just, you know, for, I don't know, people who, I don't know, anyway.

[34:54]

So actually trust what you really want. Yes? Yeah, so we do have relationships. All of us, we are in various networks of relationships and expectations and so in some ways we've agreed to that. So there's a part of the vow that is something we do with others. Each of you vowed to be here this morning, right now. So we're doing this together. Sometimes somebody may have an expectation of you that actually, when you look at it, you know, I don't have that vow anymore. And then you have to talk about it and see, can we make an adjustment?

[35:56]

Can we work out some new agreement about what our contract is, what our agreement is, what our vow together is. And sometimes, well, you know, no, we can't. We're just, you know, things have changed and no, we don't want to do this together again. But actually, once you make a vow, then, you know, part of that is just, once you make a vow with someone else or with some other group of people, then part of that vow is to be alive in it, which means that everybody involved is changing and to look at how do we readjust what the agreement is, what the vow is, what the commitment is, what we are dedicated to together and work that out and that's work. So all of these things are work, even if it's bird watching you have to go get binoculars right and a bird book maybe and you have to actually get out there and somewhere where there are birds. Yeah, somebody... Yeah, they're always alive.

[37:07]

And yet somebody may come to you with some expectation that you don't agree to. Yeah. You signed up for the National Reserve. Well, you have to go to Iraq. Well, then, you know, you have made a commitment. then you may have to face the consequences of breaking various commitments. That's a good question, thank you. Liz? For me, sometimes when things get a little involved, you become a chore. Even something that's enjoyable, So this is the part about making it conscious.

[38:14]

Yeah, vow feels like kind of heavy, you know, that word maybe isn't, maybe that's not the best word, maybe there's another word for this that works better, but it's, it's, Sometimes we might decide we want to do something that actually becomes, feels like a chore. And then we have to remind ourselves, why did I want to do this? Is this still something I want to do? When I get there, I'll like it, you know? But I don't really want to get out of bed, you know? That happens sometimes. But partly what I'm encouraging you to do is to see how your vows, or whatever we're going to call them, are actually part of your inner aliveness. And they may change, but to actually be aware and conscious and say, yeah, I'm going to take that on. I'm willing to do that. I didn't know you were a surfer.

[39:34]

I'm not. I know what it involves a little bit from watching other people do it. And I know it's true that you can resist your fists, and that's kind of virtuous, and then you just sit down and do it, and it's great. I don't have to go out all the time. I can do it freely, I can't really have it. But, and that's very much how it is. What you do is what you do. But you know what, I'm sorry, I have to go back to your looking, to your enjoying the idea of going surfing. Sometimes we could have the vow to enjoy other people carrying out their vow. So you might want to go and watch the bird watchers. You know, that might be really cool to go and look at a bunch of people who are really into bird watching. And they're really, you know, so actually part of how this works is that when we're actually taking on something we want to do, that it's kind of fun and inspiring to watch that.

[40:44]

And other people come and see it too. And so you might actually, you know, like to just go to the movie and watch some actor taking on their vow to take on some role. And it's kind of inspiring and, okay, well, okay, I'll play my role of Zen teacher, fine, you know, or whatever. So, yeah, I think there's a shared aspect of this that we encourage each other by taking on doing something we want to do. But it doesn't, you know, it's okay for you to enjoy the surfers. You don't have to go out there yourself. You can just go and watch their skill at surfing and kind of get some, you know, imagine what the waves feel like. I don't know. I mean, I think maybe that's okay. Mm-hmm.

[41:52]

Yeah, so one of the practices I'm encouraging is the practice of vowing to see what it is that you're vowing. Looking at, what is it I really want to do? What do I really care about? And then you may decide something, but then, you know, some point later on you might say, well, you know, I'm kind of tired of bird watching. I've done that for a while and I really enjoyed it, but I don't feel like doing it anymore. And put it aside for a while. That could happen. Steven. I think that was the wrong word to use for what you just talked about. Please give me another. Well, for example, when I think of Valve, I think of lifelong Valve. I'm not sure there's anything else but lifelong Valve. You know, sometimes a lifelong Valve is broken. You forget the board.

[42:54]

But there's something existing through one's life, one's vow. If you say a period for me, it's a period for you. It's a vow not to lie. Which is different than to say, OK, I'm going to take a bird watching, and I'm going to continue. Because you seem to be, your descriptions of being sort of provisional vows, having to do with detention, having to do with being awake, having to do with doing something as fully as possible when you need to eat, when you need to sleep. And that's being awake and alert in the present moment. But that's very different than, say, when a Catholic woman takes vow, like one vows to be married to Christ, I have not looked up the English word vow and what its etymology is and maybe that is the wrong word, but in terms of the practice that I'm referring to, that's one of the ten paramitas pranidhana, what I'm saying is that it includes those lifelong vows, but it also includes, I don't think they're provisional, but they're limited.

[44:19]

They're a particular limited commitment. So like Milarepa agreeing to build a stone or a rock hut because his teacher, Madhava, asked him to. That's the practice of vow in the Buddhist sense. And again, maybe that's the wrong English word. It may be, I don't know. But that's what I'm talking about is, and I think they're connected. I think our lifelong vows, which we do have, are connected to the... be married to this person or whatever our deeper vows are, I'm going to take Buddhist precepts. I think that activity of commitment is connected in a way to this looking within and taking on, okay, I'm going to write a poem about such and such or practice this piece of music this afternoon. I think there's a connection between those kinds of limited commitments, which we can do. There might be a limited project But it doesn't have to be provisional in the sense of secondary. It can be really part of a way of expressing those deeper lifelong vows.

[45:21]

So that's what I'm saying, and again, maybe the vow is not the right word. Yeah, I would say that at any given moment, at any given day, one can express differently at any time a lifelong vow. So my vow not to not take what's not given, We express differently at different moments all the time. Those different moments, those are expressions, but I still think it's important to sort of be in awe of what we're about. Okay, well then I'll say that our vows are connected to our more limited commitments. Yes? That's a really important question, thank you. So it can be, it might be, that people act from a self-centered kind of personal desire.

[46:54]

And that's a problem. I'm going to invade country such and such or whatever. Yeah, that could be. But I'm talking about this in the context of our practice of commitment to, it's in the context of the deeper universal vows, the vow vows, the I'm on the path, I want to, Buddha's way is unsurpassable, I vow to realize it. If we, so maybe I'm assuming that, that there's this universal vow somewhere in us first. And actually I think anybody who's in this room, you wouldn't have come here if there wasn't in some ways a connection to this deeper quality of caring about the meaning of your life beyond just my personal ego. Now they can be connected and if we're actually looking within, we might say, you know, going to the movies is a selfish thing, I'm not going to do that anymore.

[48:03]

We might say that. Bird watching is, you know, I'm just checking off the birds I've seen and it doesn't help anybody. It doesn't help the birds. You might say that. But what I'm saying is that in the context of these vows, to then to actualize them through taking on projects, then it is connected to this Buddha nature in which we actually, in some ways, realize our connectedness. And so it may be supportive of ourselves to follow through on these, I'll call them commitments, like climbing Mount Everest. But if we're looking at it in the context of this vital process of the path of going beyond Buddha, then in some ways if we keep looking at it and keep looking at what am I up to, so we should see are our intentions helpful, really, or is it part of this larger vow?

[49:08]

Maybe it is important to distinguish vow and commitment. But still, these commitments can be in support of our vow or sometimes we have to climb Mount Everest to see, well, you know, I didn't really need to climb Mount Everest. So, but, yeah, last thing. In terms of this practice, it's not just some idea of an affirmation, it's actually taking on something that you're going to do. You might have a commitment to get more rest and sleep, but still it's actually physically taking on something. It's not just, you know, I feel okay about myself or whatever.

[50:09]

Anyway, I appreciate all of your really good comments and I commit myself to sitting with you, any of you who care to, until 5 o'clock this afternoon. Last thing, Janine. I'm trying to be kind to myself and not be a victim to my parental guilt.

[51:13]

This is why it's a practice. It's actually, it's a practice of awareness to see what happens. It's not just to decide on a commitment, but it's to watch, to continue to watch as we try and take that on. It's not that you decide and then you do it. It's the whole process we are sitting in, we are aware of. And that's how we deepen our practice of this deeper vow too. So thank you all very much. Let's close with the four vows. Beings are numberless.

[51:54]

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