Good morning, everyone. So, this is the day of the beginning of our spring practice period. I guess it's also Easter, a day for rebirth, and Passover, a day for liberation. And it's a day for just this. So, this practice period, some of us are doing it formally, and everyone who comes here will be involved in hearing about these teachings from Dongshan, the founder of this branch of Buddhism in China in the 9th century, and stories from my new book, Just This Is It, Dongsheng, The Practice of Suchness.

[01:03]

So what is it to practice suchness? Is it possible not to practice suchness? How do we engage in reality or truth or this situation? So this is the question or issue that we are and will be working on. And the particular context for us as a group, and each of us is working on this individually in various ways, but these stories about Dokshan, the main one, which I'll be talking about today, has to do with self and non-self and reality and our relationship to everything. I'll be touching on it not just today, but then there are other stories that we will be getting to in the next two months, more or less, that have to do with the unconditioned and the ways in which we are

[02:10]

there's something beyond our usual stories that we, whether or not we recognize it, that we kind of can connect with in our practice, in our zazen, in sitting upright and being present, and formally, but also as that ripples into our everyday activity. So there's stories that have to do with the unconditioned or ultimate, and how that relates to our life. And there are stories about how we convey that and how we understand or realize that. And there are also stories about what's sometimes called the path, or what's the process of our engagement with this and this. And Dongshan's emphasis, which I feel this real sense of underlying continuity from Dongshan in the 9th century through Dogen and Suzuki Roshi and what we're doing, is about not getting caught up in stages of progress.

[03:28]

And this is really subversive for us as modern Westerners. We've been trained to think in terms of progress and accomplishing things and getting somewhere else and actually it's right here. So there are a number of stories that relate to all of that. So that's kind of for the people who are formally doing a practice commitment period or informally. That's the terrain that I hope we engage over the next couple of months in various ways. But today, I will focus on this central story. I've spoken about it here before, but there's just so much to say about it. It bears repeating. So, the basic story has to do with Bacchan, this 9th century master, when he was a student. And actually, as he, I don't know if you could say graduated,

[04:32]

old education. But just as he was leaving his teacher, Yunyang, who's a very interesting character in his own right, and he was going to visit other teachers, Dongshan asked Yunyang, later on, if I'm asked to describe your reality or your teaching, your dharma, what should I say? How should I respond? And Yunyang paused and said, Just this is it. Actually, we can read that in other ways, which maybe, hopefully, I'll get to today. But, Yan Yan said, just this is it, and Dongshan kind of was lost in thought, the story says. And Yan Yan said, you are now in charge of this great matter. You must be most thorough going. Please take good care of this. And Dongshan left, and he was wading across the stream, and looked down and saw his reflection, and awakened to the meaning of this situation and this previous exchange.

[05:55]

And then he wrote a verse, which goes in the translation, just don't seek from others, or you'll be far estranged from self. I now go on alone, everywhere I meet it. It now is me, I now am not it. One must understand in this way to merge with suchness. So, don't seek from others or you'll be far estranged from self. Whenever we look outside, whenever we look to something else to take care of us, not that we aren't connected with everybody else and not that the whole universe doesn't take care of us in some basic way, but our practice is turning the light within, of paying attention to what's going on. What is just this happening on your seat now? How is it? How does it feel? What's happening? So, I now go on along, yet everywhere I read it.

[07:02]

So we say, Dharma gates are boundless. I'm bound to enter them. Bodhisattva vows. Everywhere this reality, this suchness, is present. It now is me, I now am not it. One must understand this in this way to merge with suchness. So this, it now is me, I now am not it, is kind of the basic statement of our whole tradition. So I invite you in your Zazen, if you wish, Your zazen is up to you. You can come to me and we can talk about it, and I can make suggestions, but basically, you're responsible for your own zazen. You are creating Buddha's expression on your seat right now. And it now is me, I now am not it. I invite you to use that as a mantra.

[08:04]

Just say that to yourself over and over again. Or, you know, if it feels more like a koan, that's okay too. It now is me, I now am not it. So, okay, what is going on in the story? When Yonyan said, just this is it, in some ways this is kind of mindfulness practice. Kind of bear attention, just this situation. Pay attention to posture, breath, thoughts coming and going, sensations. warmth or cool or all of that. And in the context of the story, maybe just this is it, Yongyan is referring to just Yongyan and Dongshan sitting together and talking, just the situation of exploring the Dharma together, teacher and student. That's it. That's enough. Or maybe just a question.

[09:06]

Dongshan asking, what is your truth? What's it all about? Maybe that inquiry is enough. But also, it's just this right now, here. OK, so this statement, it now is me, I now am not it, gets into this intricate relationship of non-self, we call it in Buddhism. This doesn't mean you don't have a self or an ego, or that you should get rid of that, but that all the stories you tell about who you are, and what the world is, and your place in it, and all of that, those are just stories. And it's not that you should get rid of them, it's not that you should get rid of your ego, but they're illusions. So, it now is me, I now am not it.

[10:09]

The sight of I am not it, I now am not it. You know, when he was looking into the reflection in the screen, he could see that that was him, but he wasn't that. That reflection, that image we have, whether it's reflected in a mirror or a screen or our ideas about whatever, that's not us, that doesn't include everything that there is happening on your Kushner chair right now, and yet you are it. Or it is you. Everything we can imagine is an image of this reality. And suchness fully includes every depiction of it. So this is a very deep relationship. It now is me, I now am not it. So in this book I have of talking about all these, there's many things I'm not going to get to in the talks, but one of them that I want to mention is the French, and some of you have heard me talk about all this before, but again, we have to keep talking about it, to settle into,

[11:34]

it now is me, I now am not it. And the French poet Arthur Rimbaud, about a millennium later, wrote in a letter, Je et un autre, I is another. So this gets to the fundamental affliction of ignorance, the basic problem, the basic source of suffering, according to Buddhism, is this separation, subject and object, I and other. Now, it's not that we obliterate that. Conventionally, it is a kind of reality. We have to take care of that. But when we do that, when we see the world out there as objects for us to manipulate, or try and arrange, or get something from, or get rid of the stuff that's bad, we're cutting ourselves off from the world. And then the I that is doing that is also another, becomes an object. So this is kind of a fundamental violation of the first precept.

[12:38]

The disciple of Buddha does not kill. And we do it all the time. Any sentence we say has a subject and a verb and an object. But this sense of separation, can we hold it lightly? Can we not get caught by it? Even as we... kind of essential to all of our functioning. So when we soak, Rambo's saying, I as in other, is acknowledging this side of I now and not in. To see that whatever you, your whole experience, your whole life, up to this morning, and beyond. It is not the whole of ultimate reality of suchness.

[13:42]

And yet, it actually is you. So, Rambo saw the one side of, I am not it, I know I'm not it. But there's also, it now is me, and that's pretty subtle. So, the practice of suchness is actually working with both sides. I'm not it, but it now is me. So what is this it now is me? In Genjo Koan, which we've sometimes discussed and chanted, Dogen, a few centuries after Dongsang, said, to carry the self forward and experience myriad things is delusion. That myriad things come forth and experience the self is awakening. This is the same thing. He's commenting on, it now is me, I now am not it. So, I now am not it is the sight of carrying yourself forward to experience myriad things. And Dobian calls that a delusion.

[14:45]

By calling it a delusion doesn't mean we have to get rid of it, but still, that's our usual way of being in the world. And part of the practice of suchness is to see that, is to acknowledge that, to admit that, that what we do most of the time, while we're sitting, while we're doing our everyday work, while we're involved in our relationships and so forth, is carrying ourself forward to experience myriad things, objecting our view of reality. our small particular perception of suchness onto everything. So that's the side of, I know I'm not it, but it now is me. Myriad things come forth and experience the self, and Dogen says that that's awakening. Now, he doesn't say you should get rid of one and get the other, but just to see both sides, to engage in both sides.

[15:52]

to realize where we are. And as such as it's not static or fixed, everything changes, including this deeper reality. So, you know, this can sound kind of abstract and theoretical, but it really has to do with the guts of how we express ourselves and express everything in the world. that myriad things come forth and experience themselves, that's not something, that's not a thing out there either. Don't make that into some other, or of course we do, but how do we see that the myriad things coming forth and experiencing themselves includes you, totally? Each of us is a particular expression of the whole, of the ultimate, of the universe that is all of the different things, including us coming forth and experiencing ourselves together. That's awakened.

[16:53]

So we have some responsibility for that. It's almost not there until we practice it. each of us in our own particular way expresses this Buddha body in everything we do. And it's not that we can't more fully experience and understand that, but it's not something out there or in the future that we have to get. This water is delicious. Thank you, Paul. Water is very precious. I just came back from California where they're finally realizing they have to ration their water.

[17:57]

The expression of everything arising right now is that they have very limited water. And the Earth itself is being disrupted by our activities. So we are responsible for all of it. So, there are many implications to all of this, and I'll try to say a little bit more about it this morning. Well, again, just to emphasize that suchness is not static, it's not something. The nature of things is constantly shifting and changing, including reality itself. And we have this deep, intimate relationship with reality.

[19:02]

So, one of the classic four traps of spiritual practice is just accepting things as they So that's not what it means when Dongshan and Dogen talk about just this, isn't it? So just going with the flow or whatever happens is fine. That's not real acceptance. That's not just this that Dongshan is interacting with. So how do... How are each of us included in the myriad things coming forth? In the session is that I am not, but it is me. So our responses, our greed, hate, delusion, our anger, our fear, our concern, our caring, our compassion, our joyfulness, our play, all of that is part of everything arising right now.

[20:11]

So in some basic way, the practice of suchness has to do with taking responsibility. It doesn't mean that you have to go out and do a lot of stuff and fix things. But as you're sitting quietly, being present, paying attention, we're ready and willing to respond to just this, as it arises now, including us. This is case 49 in the Book of Serenity. This is chapter 2 in my book. Case 49 in the Book of Serenity for those interested, and especially for people on the practice period. There's copies of that available in the back shelves if there are people who are not staying for the day out on the front. So you can take that and read all the stuff about this. So one part of it is that the basic story can be translated in different ways.

[21:19]

So there's this pronoun that, in that basic dialogue, when Dongshan says, when Yongyan says, just this is it, and when Dongshan says, it now is me, I know I'm not it, the it can be translated as an impersonal pronoun, and that's how I've been talking about it, as referring to just this or suchness. And that meaning is certainly part of the story, but also, it can be read as a personal pronoun. So, Yun Yan might have been saying, just this person, just this person. And Yun-Yan's response could be read as, I am not him, but he now is me, or something like that. And it doesn't really matter what they intended when they said these things.

[22:29]

We don't know. The history is murky. I mean, we have this picture of Dongshan as he looked into the stream. But it's not actually a photograph. It's a painting that was done many years later. So it doesn't matter, really. It's like, did Shakespeare write Shakespeare or somebody else with the same name? We still, for 1,000 years, have been studying Dongsheng stories, and part of the story has to do with how this is conveyed, and this teacher-student relationship, which is a theme in a lot of the stories from Dongsheng. So, just this person. Everywhere I go, I meet him. He now is me. I now am not him. So how do we hear this? transmit or convey it, how he would share this. Somehow, this teaching about suchness is itself inextricably involved with how this teaching is maintained in Pastelon.

[23:37]

So that's part of the issues in a lot of the stories. Later on, when Dokshan becomes a teacher, the subtlety of how he conveys this. And there's a story that's actually the main case in in Case 49 in the Book of Serenity about this, and this is something that happened later on, when Dongshan was a teacher, and one part of our tradition is to do, which we don't do here, but in a place where there's an everyday practice, they have a monthly memorial service for the founder. And Dongshan was doing this for his teacher, Yunyan. And at that time, a monk came forward. So first of all, Dongshan told the story I just told about depicting the reality.

[24:39]

And then a monk came forward, one of Dongshan's students, and asked, when Yunyan said, just this is it, what did he mean? Dongshan said, at that time I nearly misunderstood my late teacher's meaning. Why? The monk said then, kind of brash fellow, he said, did Yodhiyan himself know it is or not? Dongshan said, if he did not know it is, how could he be able to say this? If he did know what it is, how could he be willing to say this? So this is a very interesting question, both sides of it. If he didn't know what it is, well, how could he have been able to say, just this is it? But if he did, yeah, how could he be willing to soil himself by speaking

[25:45]

This is the origin of our practice tradition, still, in so many ways. I mean, of course, it goes back to the Buddha, too, and the six ancestors and so forth. But it's worth considering these questions. And in the commentary, so the Book of Serenity, the cases and the verses were chosen by Hongzhe, who I translated in Cultivating the Empty Field, who was a century before Dogen in China. But the commentary is by a fellow named Wansong in China, who is contemporary with Dogen. And he has a lot of interesting things to say about this. And one question here is just about knowing. Did Yunnan know it is or not? And in his commentary, There is completely not knowing it is. There is knowing it is, then after all, not knowing.

[26:55]

And there is not knowing it is turning into knowing it is. So, when Dogchen said, if he didn't know it is, how could he be able to say so? If he did know it is, how could he be willing to say so? About this, the flowering of the Tau Yin teachings. have a commentary, inner reality is complete, words are partial. This is what I've been using words to try and say something about. When words are born, inner reality is lost. So this is why we sit quietly. But, you know, in our lineage, in our tradition, we sometimes, you know, have talks and sometimes have discussions and, you know, don't be fooled. The Wayang tradition also says, this is mystery upon mystery, ever more wondrous, integration and harmonious communion, the impartial, non-linking bloodline.

[28:04]

So how do we not get caught by the words, and yet, you know, we talk to each other. We have to somehow convey just this. It's very subtle. So, Hongxue has various comments, and I won't read the whole thing, but, well, I'll read a little bit of it. How could he be able to say this? In the third watch the cock crows, dawn for the forest of homes. How could he be willing to say this? The thousand-year-old crane grows old with the pine and pines and the clouds. And then he says, the jewel mirror, clear and bright, shows ultimate and particular. The jade machine revolves. See them both show up at once. This is a reference to the Jewel Mirror Samadhi, which we'll be chanting later, or Precious Mirror Samadhi.

[29:09]

The Jewel Mirror, clear and bright, shows ultimate and particular. So this whole story is a kind of mirror. I mean, there's the reflection in the stream that Dongshan saw. But then, how does this show us something about this dance, this kind of process of, I now am not it, it now is me? He says the J machine revolves. See them both show up at once. Both sides are part of our experience in every period of Zazen. He calls it a jade machine, the translation of this funny character, which means machine or mechanism. It also means loom. Anybody here? Dust weaving? It means loom. It also means... mechanism, it means function, it means opportunity, it's a very complicated word.

[30:18]

It also refers to the moving, that which moves the whole universe. Anyway, this jade machine revolves, see them both show up at once. I would say the jade machine is just a sentence. I now am not it, it now is me. How do we see both sides of this? Wansop says about this, although the mirror is clean, it has a back and a front, only the jade works. Works is another translation for that. Spinning it, weaves them together, both light, both dark, with the technique of simultaneous realization. So this is our practice and our work, engaging this intricate reality where we are not it, but it actually is us. And sometimes one side or the other seems to spring forth.

[31:21]

And we have to take care of both. How do we actually meet ourself? How do we actually engage reality? How do we express our deepest love and compassion and insight in our everyday life? So these old teaching stories, that's what they're about. Part of the thing I was going to say about Yun Yang and the student saying, did he know it is or not? We'll be talking about Yun Yang a little bit. There's a chapter in the book about Yun Yang. He's one of the great historical Zen failures. There's a whole story about how long he studied with two of the greatest Zen masters of all time and didn't get it. And everyone agrees that. And there's a story about him talking with one of his teachers, Nan Chuan, and his brother, who he practiced with, was actually listening outside the door.

[32:25]

I mean, you're not supposed to do that. But he was so upset. He'd been trying to help his brother, Yuan Yang, and he was so upset at how obtuse he was that he bit his finger so hard that it bled. So anyway, Yunyan is the teacher of the founder of our tradition. But also there are stories about Yunyan which are brilliant and show that actually, you know, well, there's this question. So it wasn't just this monk who had a question about Yunyan. So we'll talk about that during the practice period. Dongshan himself said, when he was asked another time, why he chose Yunyan as his teacher. He had studied with other much more notable teachers at the time. And Dongshan said, I do not esteem my late teacher's virtues or his Buddhist teaching. I only value the fact that he did not explain everything for me.

[33:27]

So if you think you don't understand, that's great. Don't worry about it. And I'm not going to explain it to you. Or I hope I don't. In that story, the monk asked further about Yongyan, and Dongshan said that he only half agreed with Yongyan, because if I completely agreed, then I would be unfaithful to my teacher. So, please don't feel like you have to agree with everything I say. Or you could try that, see where it gets you. So Suzuki Roshi commented on this story in his wonderful Suzuki Roshi archives that David Chadwick has prepared for us with help.

[34:35]

He was here a few years ago, and we're doing a Thursday evening discussion of Suzuki Roshi's teaching now every week here. But he read this story about everywhere I meet him, in just this, in a different way. He did discuss this as the practice of everywhere, meaning oneself. So once he was talking to Itasahara, and he emphasized the importance of one-hearted kindness to oneself as well as others. So this is kind of, you know, If you start moving or whatever during zazen, I'm not going to go hit you. If you close your eyes and sleep for a little bit, please don't. But still, I'm not going to yell at you or anything like that. This is grandmother Lisa in here. Just please take the time to practice and practice, not just Sashin. Sashin is wonderful, but also practice regularly.

[35:38]

And even if it's 15 or 20 minutes, just stop, sit, face the wall. Whatever happens is OK. The point is to settle into being present and pay attention. So Tsukiroshi says, paraphrasing this dialogue between Yun-Yang and Dong-Shan, He reads it as Doshon saying, don't try to figure out who you are. If you try to figure out who you are, what you understand will be far away from you. You will just have an image of yourself. So, you know, this is very difficult for some Zen students who are trying to figure it out all the time. And, you know, the energy behind that is wonderful, still. Sugiroshi said, actually, you know, talking about Dongson looking down at his reflection, actually you are in the river.

[36:40]

You may say that it is just a shadow or a reflection of yourself, but if you look carefully, with one hearted feeling, that is you. So this is, you know, a different way of looking at this, with one hearted feeling. And Sukhirishi also says about Dongshan that he was saying, don't try to see yourself objectively. I go my own way. Wherever I go, I meet myself. That's how Sukhirishi reads it. So everywhere and everything in the universe, when we intimately engage with this great machine, this great force, this dynamic, that is suchness. Everything is suchness, is the teacher, is actually yourself. My teacher read a further comment on that.

[37:45]

Again, pointing to this everywhere I meet it, as everywhere I meet myself, he comments, when we wholeheartedly practice the teaching of just this person, all beings come forth to meet us and we realize that they are now no other than myself. So this is the central story that we're going to work around next couple of months. For people who are here for the day, we'll be having a discussion period this afternoon, but we have guests with us this morning. Hello, everyone. Welcome. And so I'll take, you know, if anyone has a comment or a question or response, if anyone has anything you want to say about this now, please feel free. Somewhere in the teachings it is said that silence is the ultimate response.

[39:01]

Nicholas, Great story and great talk. Figuring it, what is it? I heard a long time ago that finding it is model clicking into the stream was a very powerful one because Yeah.

[40:18]

Yeah. Good. Well, that's one side, not it. But, also, what these guys are saying, it actually is you. So, that's the other side. To me, that's the side where we are not caught by some me, but are actually taking responsibility for all of it. which isn't said explicitly in this story, but I'll add that. So studying how I'm not it, we can see all of our suffering, all of our personal melodrama, all of the stories we have about ourselves. And as we practice regularly, that stuff sort of It becomes less of a rollercoaster, a little less melodramatic. But the other side is about how we return that.

[41:24]

It's about our gratitude, and respect, self-respect, and respect for the whole process, and warm-hearted feeling. So how do we express our practice in our everyday activity? This is one basic question about this. And of course, you do that. All of you are doing that already. But how do we take that on?

[41:54]

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