Some of you were here last week when I talked about a traditional Zen koan or teaching story from the great master Linji or Rinzai, the true person of no rank. I wanted to talk about another koan today. I'll just say a little bit briefly about koans first. These teaching stories, classically, most of them go back to the great Chinese masters of the ninth century. A lot of them are dialogues. Some, like the one today, are from teaching poems. There's a lot of misunderstanding about them, that these are riddles to solve or that they're nonsense. They're not nonsense. They talk about the logic of awakening. There are various different ways of working with these in practice.

[01:04]

So in some lineages, Rinzai and some others, there's curriculum of sometimes four or five, six hundred koans that students go through individually with the teacher. So that's not usually what happens. So to a tradition from Dogen and Suzuki Roshi and what we do here, I do work individually with students on koans, though, and I also talk about them, like today, in Dharma talks and discussion. So I have my own curriculum of 33 koans. No students have gone through all of them, but some have done several. So I am available to meet individually with students to talk about practice generally or koans if you'd like to. Anyway, again, these are stories to absorb or teachings to kind of absorb into our practice body.

[02:14]

So we never finish with any of them. The one today is number 28 in my curriculum. And this is from a modern American, so I have in the curriculum some from the Book of Serenity and some from the Gateless Gate and some from the Book of Record Traditional Stories, but I also have some from a couple of American masters, and this is one of those. This is from teaching a poem or song called Dear Landlord by Bob Dylan. And he says, now each of us has our own special gift, and you know this was meant to be true. And if you don't underestimate me, I won't underestimate you. So that's what I want to talk about today. Each of us has our own special gift, and you know this was meant to be true. And if you don't underestimate me, I won't underestimate you.

[03:15]

So I think this is predominantly a teaching about Sangha, also about Buddha nature. So each of us has our own special gift. part of how Sangha works, and I mean Sangha like Ancient Dragon Zen Gate, a particular Sangha, but also Sangha like the community of interconnectedness of all beings or of Well, each of us in this room has various sanghas, various groups of people we work with or family or friends. We all have different groups that we are involved with in some ways. And what that's about is finding harmony together. And this is based on this. Each of us has our own special gift. We each have our own way of contributing to each other because we are deeply interconnected.

[04:19]

So part of Zazen, Zazen is about many things. It's just more fully realizing and recreating and expressing that each of us has our own special gift. So in this particular Sangha of Ancient Dragons, Zen Gate, we have several new people with us this morning, which is great, welcome. But all of you who I know a little bit are very gifted in many ways. We have very many talented, creative, bright people in our Sangha. But what Bob Dylan is saying is that each of us, everyone, has our own special gift. so part of what happens. And when we are willing to sit like this and just be present and upright and pay attention to who is this, what is this body and mind on your cushion or chair here this morning, there's a kind of connection to our creative activities.

[05:32]

in the rest of our life. We can start to, you know, maybe it happens after a while, after you establish a rhythm of regular sitting. So for the people who came to meditation instruction this morning, I recommend doing this practice regularly, several times a week at least, even if it's only 15 or 20 minutes, just to stop and sit and face the wall and face yourself. And whatever happens is okay, but to pay attention. as thoughts and feelings come up. Return to a brightness and inhale and exhale. As we do this, we connect in some way that isn't always obvious with the whole range of our own special gifts. They're special. Each of us has particular gifts. We each have particular sets of problems, maybe, and obstacles, and patterns of grasping and attachment, and anger and frustration and fear, and so forth.

[06:37]

But also, right in with that, each of us has our own special gifts. So one of the things that Zazen can do is to help us to find energy for those. But also, as we practice, sometimes we uncover new gifts. So if we don't get stuck on assuming some self, some identity, some way we were labeled in school or by our parents or some story we have about ourself, there's many possibilities. So part of what Zazen also can encourage is for us to try new things. And I encourage you to see what gifts you have that you may not even be aware of. But also to take care of the gifts that you have. This is part of practice, Zen practice.

[07:41]

How do we take care of these gifts? How do we use them? How do we express them? How do we share them? How do we give them to others and to ourselves? So part of appreciating our own special gifts is to be kind to yourself. Part of Buddhism is understanding no self, which is to go beyond our idea of some limited, fixed self, to see that our larger self is really totally interconnected with everyone else. each of whom has their own special gifts too. How can we appreciate the gifts of others? So, please take care of your gifts. Try new things when it comes up for you. I had a student who was very linear minded. I wanted to have everything figured out and I asked her to please take up finger painting.

[08:44]

And she really got to enjoy it, you know, just as, you know, getting her fingers into the cards. So it's okay to try to see what gifts you have. And gifts mean, you know, talents and, you know, many of you obviously have many, are gifted in many ways and are expressing that professionally. But also, your own special gifts can include, you know, the way you smile. the way you listen to others, the way you breathe. How do we find the depths of these gifts? Just your natural smile to someone who's having a hard time may be enough to really be a gift to them. How do you smile to yourself when you're having a hard time? Or take a deeper breath and say, oh yeah, okay. So each of us has our own special gifts, and you know this was meant to be true.

[09:46]

Another way of talking about that is this practice, this teaching, this value of Buddha nature that we talk about in Zen, that everything, everybody, all people, but even all beings, part of the fabric of reality as it's understood in East Asian Buddhism is this Buddha nature, this capacity for awareness, awakening, and kindness. This is a very special gift. So if you don't underestimate me, I won't underestimate you, is an intentional practice of seeing Buddha nature in others. So we may have some difficulty with someone. We may have somebody at work who gives us a hard time or whatever, but can you remember not to underestimate them? Can you remember not to underestimate yourself?

[10:50]

Many beings are on your cushion or chair right now. How do we find deep respect for others and for ourselves? And how do we express that together? This is what Sangha is about. This is what Buddha nature is about. So, of course, sometimes we may see somebody who's acting in a way that we think is harmful, or stupid, or whatever, you know. And we all have, part of our education is to develop critical mind, and we may all have patterns of being critical of others. So it's not that you shouldn't notice things that are problems in your life or in the world, but how do we see that from this teaching of each of us has their own special gift? How do you see this from the perspective of Buddha nature? So to not underestimate others means, okay, I can see that somebody's doing something that's harmful, and rather than

[12:01]

blaming them or calling them names, even internally, I can just think, oh, well, how can I help? And how can I see what their gifts are and how can those be applied to actually being kind together? So this practice, again, if you do it regularly and do it for a while, you start to see how, not just as some philosophical idea, but we start to really feel in our bodies and minds. That we are interconnected. That it's not about doing unto others before they do unto us. That what happens to somebody else we're connected with actually affects us. When we start to see that, to really see it, to really feel it, to see it with our fingers and our ears, to really appreciate that we are connected, that each of us has our own special gifts.

[13:12]

Sometimes we can see other people's gifts that they can't see themselves. That happens too. Or sometimes, you know, it takes a while to see what somebody else's gifts are. Sometimes others may see your gifts that you don't even respect in yourself. How do we respect all of these possibilities? So when we see some problem in ourselves or in others, how do we, rather than calling ourselves names or others, remember there's this special gift there. How do we respect others? How do we And sometimes there's nothing to say or do to get them to change, because these patterns of greed, hate, and delusion are very deeply ingrained. And yet, if we're coming from, if we're remembering, and we may forget it, but if you remember, each of us has our own special gifts, and you know this was meant to be true.

[14:14]

And if you don't underestimate me, I won't underestimate you. How do we remember that we cannot underestimate? and actually that people change, and people awaken to things that they've ignored, and that change actually does happen in the world, and in ourselves, and in our own lives, and in our relationships with others. This is true. This is a basic Buddhist truth. There's change happening. How do we find our place of respect? How do we share gifts with each other? So in some ways this is kind of simple and I thought I'd maybe have a shorter talk today and have some comments from others about not underestimating and seeing the gifts in ourselves and others and respecting that and really deepening that. Our practice is to deepen this expression of

[15:17]

not underestimating ourselves or others, to deepen this practice of finding our own special gifts and appreciating the special gifts of ourselves and others. But I was reminded that today is also Abraham Lincoln's birthday, amongst other things. So happy birthday, Abe. And thinking about that, I wanted to see if I could apply this a little bit to what's going on, because thinking about Abraham Lincoln, what I've been feeling is that we are maybe in our country closer to another civil war than we have been since Lincoln. There are huge divisions in our country. In terms of what's important to me, which is values. How do we see the value? We have our set of Bodhisattva precepts and values. benefit and include all beings to support life instead of killing, to support awareness rather than intoxication.

[16:21]

So, you know, there's this real conflict going on in our country and in our world. And how do we not underestimate and see the special gifts of everyone involved? So some of you know that I've, from my own perspectives, spoken about Buddhist values in terms of my support of the Occupy Movement and Chicago Buddhists, these fellowships. Some of us have been going down there to sit. And I think that to see that, Well, the Occupy Movement talks about 1% and 99% and the richest, I don't know, 0.1% getting fast tax breaks and the difficulties for our economy and the many people in our sangha who are unemployed or underemployed or in danger of unemployment. So that's some view I have, but also there are in our Sangha, there is in our Sangha people who have very different views, who have very conservative views.

[17:36]

And I think that's great. Part of Sangha is to respect each other. So you don't have to agree with everything I say. Please don't. You may feel like not everybody has some special gift. Some people don't have any gifts. That was traditional in early Buddhism. They thought there were some people who had no Buddha nature and could never awaken. So what I say as the teacher up here, that's my expression of dharma, but you don't have to agree with everything I say. But I think this This teaching poem from Bob Dylan helps us to see, how do we see the special gifts of others? So I think there are values that are, quote unquote, conservative that I deeply respect. The value of, well, the value of respect itself, the value of responsibility, the value of hard work, the value of

[18:41]

appreciating achievement without making that into a, you know, in Buddhism we talk about there's nothing to achieve in some ways, but in the context of the world there is. This is difficult. I'm going to share, I saw an article yesterday, came across an article yesterday called, It's the Sex Stupid, about our American politics now. And that basically there was the sexual revolution that some of you've heard about in the 60s when I grew up. And then there's been the counter-revolution. And so now there's one party amongst the differing political parties is trying to deregulate all corporate restrictions and maximize tax cuts for the 1% in exchange for things like outlawing contraception and homosexuality and abortion.

[19:45]

So there's a reaction to what happened in the sexual revolution. Anyway, this is one area where there's real civil war of values in our society. And I don't know if there's anybody here who agrees with that perspective. Again, how we change it, how we come together is really different. It's really difficult and challenging. How do we respect others' views? How do we respect all kinds of sexual expression, from my point of view. This is also part of each of us has our own special gifts. So how do we learn to be in communication with others, with respect? How do we learn, if we disagree with others' values, to find what values we do share and then talk together?

[20:53]

So I'm just bringing this up because this is what's happening in our society today. And I believe that Sangha is a place to talk about things. So we'll have a little bit of time to talk. And we can listen to each other with respect. And people who disagree with my particular views and the way I see Buddhist values are free to say that. Please. So all these are problems that have to do with how do we find our own special gifts. How do we not underestimate others? People do change. People lose their ignorance and come to respect others. And there are things that I know I'm ignorant of. So how do we listen to each other? How do we hear the different perspectives? So tomorrow is, well, actually two days from now is Valentine's Day. So tomorrow evening, I'm going to talk about love and Buddhism, inspired by Valentine's Day.

[21:57]

But I wanted to go back to another part of Dear Landlord, which has, I think, something to say about this. All of us, at times, we might work too hard to have it too fast and too much. and anyone can fill his life up or her life up with things they can see but they just cannot touch. So, all of the confusion and problems in our world and in our own lives, of course, as reflections of that, because we live in this society, we can try and get this and get that and we can try and We can, many of us here work too hard. I think that's a disease in our, or a, I don't want to label it, but we have some dis-ease with that, many of us in our society now. And we can try and get things too fast and too much to get things we think we can fill our life up with so that we feel satisfied, so we're not, so we don't have to face the sadness and the fear.

[23:01]

That is also part of life. that actually can inspire her on special gifts. So Dylan says anyone can fill her life up with things she can see but she just cannot touch. And I think that relates to Zazen a lot. Part of what we do when we sit here, this is a physical practice. This is a yogic practice. All of the misunderestimations, all of the all of the ways in which we turn away from the gifts of ourselves or others. Part of that we see by sitting in this tradition. So this is a way of knowing things physically. Many of the people on our Sangha are extremely bright and have very gifted intelligence and so forth, but how we actually know things has to do with our bodies. So we know in the period of Zazen that just happened, you may know some tensions in your shoulders or in your back or in your knees.

[24:10]

And also we know things from just sitting and releasing, letting go, breathing. So breathing is not something you can, I guess there are people who are experts, medical doctors who know about lungs and breath and so forth, but how is it for you to breathe and to feel that which you can let go of and to appreciate the gifts that you have? So there's this physical knowing. So part of what Zazen makes available is that is to not fill up our life with things we can see or think we understand but just cannot touch. How do we actually touch the pain in our hearts, in our knees, and how do we touch the fear and the sadness that is underneath that? Usually underneath anger is fear and sadness. How do we see that right in there, there are gifts that we have that we can apply or that we can share with others?

[25:15]

How do we see that we can respect others? Even if we think we are very, you know, we're on opposite sides of some discussion or whatever. So anyway, this is some reflections based on each of us has our own special gift. And if you underestimate me, I won't underestimate you. So I could keep talking, but I won't. Does anyone have any comments, questions, responses about anything I've said or anything else? Chairman? The part of the question that says, if you don't underestimate me, I will underestimate you. Yeah. I feel like the voice on the path begs us to not underestimate you. Right. And that's it. I feel like the interchange is important but unimportant. How is it unimportant? I feel like it's more important to make the effort to not underestimate another person and then whatever comes in response comes in response.

[26:29]

There's no precondition of underestimating the universe. Oh, I see, yeah. So we can't make people not underestimate us. But we cannot underestimate ourselves, too. So, again, we all have ideas of who we are, and part of this is to not underestimate yourself. That each of us has many gifts, and that we should appreciate ourselves. Thank you. Yes, Daniel. Yes, just briefly, I just wanted to say, We turn that conditional relationship to a unilateral one, where regardless of whether others underestimate us, we don't underestimate them. It makes it very difficult, I think, for others to underestimate us, since we're violating their expectation of how we might respond. Yeah, respectfulness is contagious.

[27:30]

And it may take a while for somebody who disrespects you. Oh, there's also the bodhisattva in the Lotus Sutra who walks around saying to everyone, you will be a Buddha. I don't disrespect you. And he goes around to everyone like that. And of course, people get really upset with him. Who is he to say he doesn't disrespect me? Anyway, it's sort of, this is a comical side of it, but this is, he's said to have been a previous life of Shakyamuni Buddha. And so just to express not, to really express that I don't disrespect anyone, you know, or any particular person you're engaged with, even if you may disagree about a lot of things. Where do you find mutual respect? Thank you, Daniel. Keizan. This brings to mind a couple of points. I heard an interview the other day on Fresh Air.

[28:33]

It seems like you're always talking about Fresh Air and when it comes to questions and answers, I like that show. It was an interview with the director and some of the participants in a documentary called Fresh Air, which I guess is going to be on the Internet by tomorrow. I'm excited to see it, but it's about sexually or otherwise. Thank you.

[30:05]

Kathy, go ahead. Yeah, I mean, so one of my quality stuff is in public life now is film lawyers. And I listen to Fresh Air a lot, but I try to catch film lawyers when I can. And the most recent interview I saw was with a new author. the two poles going on in our country right now, and he tries to trace back how they each started. So what were the thoughts and feelings and things that generated the kind of two different approaches to things? And one of the points that he was making pretty strongly is that one of the huge problems is our inability to try to understand where the other is coming from. And so that takes me back to thinking about Buddhism and the whole dialectical nature of having to be open to new things even when it is not in accord with what you know or feel or experience.

[31:15]

And that there is something that has to do with dealing with anger because some of these things can generate that powerful feeling, and so how to sit with that and allow, at the same time, an openness to consider something else. I think that's part of the difficulty of this work. Yes, thank you. So this doesn't mean that we have to agree with some other person if we disagree. In fact, we can say our truth strongly, and yet Can we, even if we disagree with someone, can we listen to them? That's the respectful part. Really listen, really hear where they're coming from. And as well as expressing, possibly if there's space, your own alternative views to see where they're, to not underestimate, but to see where there are things in common and try and build from there.

[32:16]

But that's, you know, it's very challenging. when we see people actually causing harm. And we want to try and stop that. Sometimes we have to say, hey, please don't do that. But still, how do we listen to the pain of others? I don't know, 20 years. And there was some reason to believe that drugs and alcohol were implicated in her death. And I was really touched by a quote that I read from Barbara Streisand, where she said, you know, Whitney Houston had everything. Natural beauty, wonderful musical talent. How sad that her gifts couldn't bring her the same happiness that they brought all of us. And it just kind of struck me because I think maybe not in recent years, but maybe 25 years ago, lots of people would have wanted to be Whitney Houston and maybe measured themselves as somehow lacking in relation to Whitney Houston.

[33:28]

And I think what I wanted to say about that is we can measure things and quantify things in terms of I don't have this gift or I do have this gift. and think that sometimes we have to do something to get more, or develop this or develop that, and I think that practice for me is sometimes about just trying to appreciate and respect the dignity of a being, a living being. Whether you have a gift, or whether you're right, or whether you're wrong, just the dignity of being, and that for all beings. things on the schedule or not, so I just wanted to sort of note that to you. Yes, thank you. And part of this, each of us has our own special gift, is to please appreciate your own gifts. Please. All of you, each one of you here has many gifts, and you may not even be aware of all of them.

[34:34]

That happens. There are people who don't realize. the way that, and other people around them may realize the gifts they give. So please appreciate your own gifts. Please give, part of giving is to give to yourself, to feel respect for yourself, to, you know, and as you were saying sadly, maybe Whitney Houston couldn't do that, I don't know. Thank you. It is. I was thinking about not overestimating me and not overestimating you. Is it possible to see too much potential? Is that a danger? Well, if you try and, if you put that on someone and put some expectation on someone that's, you know, maybe it could be, but I think it's better to err on that side than on the side of underestimating.

[35:48]

Do you think? Yeah. So, I think part of my job as the teacher here at Ancient Dragons Endgate is to challenge you all. As I said last week, the great Buddhist value, be all that you can be. That doesn't mean that I have some measure of, Nathan should be doing X, Y, and Z. And if you don't do it, I'm going to give you a hard time about it. How this unfolds is organic. Practice is an organic thing. It's a physical thing, as I was saying. It happens. It happens as we touch something in our sitting, and it takes its own time and process. We each are involved in this organic vital process of practice. So how these gifts find their expression and flowering often takes a long time, and there's no end to that, actually. So it's not about reaching some grade that you're supposed to get.

[36:53]

It's about how is it today. Douglas? I don't think you have to worry about overestimating people in the context of the Dharma and Zen practice. Because what we do is different from learning to give some sort of skilled performance or exercise some talent. We all have, everyone has the ability to wake up and it is not related to your intelligence. You know, there are plenty of koans about that. who is the most intelligent student and knows the most about the Dharma.

[38:08]

They are all Buddhas and they are all horses in their own way. It's something very simple that doesn't have to be developed. And so I think I'm not too concerned about people not being able to live up to their expectations. Maybe it's not about living up to waking up, maybe it's about living down to waking up. I think that in Zen practice one thing that happens is that we worry that we're not going to be able to do it. getting something out and trying very hard and getting very good at something. It's doing something that's very simple, and over time you come to appreciate how simple it is and what it is.

[39:08]

And it's not really a matter of talent. So each of us has our own special gift also, is each of us has our own way to be Buddha. Yeah, and I like that. we affirmatively will not underestimate anyone. That's true, but I think you could take the line and flip it and say, well, that's my resolve, but I fail. And I acknowledge that if you, that awakening responds to other people's awakening. And if you will respect me, I will respond to that. You can wake me up. So rather than a threat, you better treat me right or I'm going to fight you over. It's really a matter of if you will respect me, you will wake me up. I can respond. I will respond to that. I think it's interesting how you change the word from underestimate to respect. And I like the word that the patient brought up, dignity.

[40:17]

That's kind of mixed up with this idea of giftedness and living up to something, whereas dignity, you can actually... That brings up the idea of looking down, too. Yeah, we should get down, yeah. And each of us has our own special dignity, yes, absolutely. Ishan? Well, what I wanted to say, and what I want to say more now is I feel like we're talking in terms of positive things or negative things or more or less or relative or underestimating or overestimating and I didn't really mean it like that. And I think what I wanted to say is it's not a matter of liking or not liking or attributing value to some quality or not so much value to another quality, but that even a wrong step and what we need to do is really study how did this come to be and what are the things that hold it in place.

[41:43]

Even if it's, you know, people that we think are really wreaking havoc on the environment or themselves or whatever, there's a, what I meant by dignity is there is a set of conditions that is aside from our likes or dislikes that made that situation what it is and that hold it in place and to try to affect it in a way I think really requires us to respect that. Yes, and part of what you're saying also is to pay attention and look at and try and become aware. Awareness itself is transformative. So I appreciate this discussion. Any last thoughts, anyone? Comments, questions, responses? Paula, I think. One thing I've been thinking about lately, and I'm trying to speak in a more specific way, because it's actually very general, but attraction, aversion, and indifference.

[42:45]

The Buddhist practice initially was set up as a monastic practice in the beginning. And I feel I understand why, because as laymen, we have to deal with so many different issues, be it family, economics, We have so much going on, that how can you really find true stillness and quiet to find your root in nature? I mean, I think that's really the challenge. And I find in my own life, the busier I get, and I try to live a quiet life as best as I can. But the busier I get, the more engaged with my life I get. And I think being engaged is a good thing. Yes, I do too. I still have to grapple then with stronger feelings of attraction, aversion, and indifference. So as laymen, how do we find that stillness, stay engaged, but not get buffeted around by these three things, is the challenge. And I don't have an answer for that.

[43:49]

Wonderful question. Yes, that is the question. And the socialism, the activism that you speak of too, directly is involved with that. How can you be engaged on a large scale without being buffeted around by those three factors? Good. Excellent question. I don't have an answer either, but my response is that this, and this is very advanced practice we're doing here, even for people who have just started. How do, so yeah, it is, and for some people it's helpful to go off into some retreat and have time to actually focus within. But yeah, let yourself be buffeted. and come back and touch what it is to get down and sit and be present and feel how you feel in your body and mind. So it's this dance of trying to keep paying attention amidst all the buffeting.

[44:52]

And Zazen, as a practice that we can do every day, even if you take 15 or 20 minutes sometime during the day to just stop and sit, gives us a place where we can touch what is it that really speaks to us of our gifts or our own sense of respect. And then it does get challenged in our lives in the world. But if we have this place where we stop and touch what is important, how do I feel in this body? What are the things I'm afraid of? What are the things I'm sad about? What are the things I'm angry about? What are the things I appreciate? How do I find the respect in that? How do I find the dignity of just being upright? And again, it's not about doing it correctly or incorrectly. It's actually taking time to just touch that deeper place.

[45:56]

Buddha, when he awakened, touched the ground. So, yeah, this is very challenging. Please continue, though, to all of you, to touch the ground in the midst of these challenges.

[46:11]

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