Good morning. So, I wanted to talk today about going beyond transcendence, or practice beyond transcendence. So, a lot of spiritual practice or religious activity has to do with this idea of transcendence, which has to do with maybe relief or freedom from suffering, freedom from the mundane, worldly realm, and also has to do with, maybe we could say, transformation. So there's some value to that, of course, and in many ways we all want to get free from the things that afflict us and the world.

[01:12]

So the impetus towards religious activity, towards spiritual activity, maybe most of the time comes initially from some desire for, we could call it transcendence. And there's some value to that. And of course, in our practice, and maybe in all spiritual traditions, there is some possibility of getting some relief, at least. Anyway, I won't speak for other traditions. In Zazen, certainly, in sustained Zazen practice, there is transformation. in the lives of people who continue this practice is very clear. And yet, there's some problem with that.

[02:15]

So many people come to meditation hoping to get some personal transformation. I think this is very common, at least in the West. I'm not sure that that's a common idea in Japan or in other traditional Asian cultures. Good morning. So there are cushions up front and chairs back there. So I just started talking about practice beyond transcendence and going beyond transcendence And again, there's some value in this and we all, you know, we all want to be happier or whatever. And part of what transcendence, spiritual transcendence offers us is a way of seeing freshly. And so there is some possibility of transformation and transcendence in our practice and in the spiritual activity.

[03:28]

And I would say that in most religious traditions, that's kind of the point, or the goal, even. And there's nothing wrong with that. For people who achieve some transcendence, they may be very encouraging to others, or they may seem very exemplary or whatever, or they may actually be happier themselves, or maybe not. Maybe they're actually creating difficulties. It depends. But anyway, this is not the point of Zen Buddhism. Zen Buddhism is not about transcendence. Maybe it includes it. Certainly, as I said, there is some transformation that occurs, or that can occur, no guarantees, but anyway.

[04:42]

But that's not the point of Zen Buddhism at all. So I want to talk about that this morning in terms of a few of these dharma hall discourses I've been reading you from Dogen. from Ehe Koroko that I've been translating. And one or two of these you've probably heard me say before, but you might hear it again too. So I think it's okay. So the first one, particularly, I've talked about a number of times. Dogon says, the courage of a fisherman is to enter the water without avoiding deep sea dragons. The courage of a hunter is to travel the earth without avoiding tigers. The courage of a general is to face the drawn sword before him. And to see death is just like life. What is the courage of patch road monks? What is the courage of Zen practitioners? After a pause, Dogen said, spread out your bedding and sleep.

[05:51]

Sit at your bowls and eat rice. Exhale through your nostrils. Radiate light from your eyes. Do you know there is something that goes beyond? With vitality, eat lots of rice and then use the toilet. Transcend your personal prediction of future Buddhahood from Gautama. So maybe the first time you heard about Buddha, the first time you heard about meditation, you thought, oh, I want to be a Buddha. or I want to, even just, I want to be, you know, a little calmer, more peaceful. But what Dogen says, and he says courage, but he could say transcendence too, you know. The transcendence or the courage of patchwork monks and practitioners is just to spread out your bedding and sleep. Sit out your bowls and eat your food.

[06:54]

exhale through your nostrils, radiate light from your eyes. Now, sometimes when I say that, people think of that as something special and transcendent, but actually, from the Zen point of view, that's happening all the time, and I see several of you radiating light from your eyes. And, you know, we think of our seeing as passive, I can look out the window and see the tree up there, and so on, you know, it's just kind of imposing itself on me. But actually, the way we see, the way we breathe, the way we hear, is something that we give to the world too. This isn't transcendence, this is actually going beyond transcendence. Of course, it's a joke to talk about going beyond transcendence, because that would be transcendence of transcendence. this going beyond transcendence that I'm talking about is, maybe includes transcendence in a little way.

[07:58]

But there's something that goes beyond that, Dogen says. With vitality, eat lots of rice and then use the toilet. Be the animal you are. Forgive yourself for being a human being. Even forgive yourself for being the particular human being you are. with the particular problems you have, the particular body, the particular mind, the particular set of conditions, the particular tragedies you've suffered, the particular ways in which you've been damaged. We all have this. Transcend your personal prediction of future Buddhahood from Gautama. So yes, All of you, each one of you is going to be a Buddha in a future Buddha land. And I can go around the room and say how many innumerable kalpas it's going to be before you Beverly will be the Buddha such and such in a Buddha land called such and such, and Buddha does that in some of the sutras, but get over it.

[09:13]

Here it is, August 2002 in Bolinas or wherever this is. So, you know, some of you wish you were somewhere else. Some of you wish you were somebody else. Maybe all of us wish that some parts of ourselves were some little different way. Maybe every single one of us does that. I know I do. It doesn't matter. This practice is not about transcending any of those things. It's about actually meeting this person on this cushion today, this inhale. this exhale. So again, it's not passive, it's not accepting some, you know, something we'll define as Sandra or Steven or Dale, you know, it's just, here you are.

[10:29]

Transcend your ideas about transcending yourself. Who you are is much deeper than that. and actually you're creating it right now out of skin and hair and shirts and pants and zafus and parents and siblings for some of you and all kinds of things in the vehicle that brought you here this morning. Each one of you right now is creating, even if you walked. Each one of you is creating yourself right now. And you don't need to transcend that. rather than transcending it, can you actually get into it and be the person you are right now, as painful and crummy as that may feel.

[12:06]

So another time Dogen said, I remember the ancient Buddha Jaojo, or Joshu in Japanese, when he was residing at Kanon Temple, gave a dharma hall discourse in which he said to the assembly, it is like a bright jewel held in your palm. When a barbarian comes, a Chinese person is reflected. Actually, Dogen, I think intentionally misquoted Joshu there. Joshu actually said, when a barbarian comes, a barbarian is reflected. When a Chinese person comes, a Chinese person is reflected. So it's like a jewel that reflects or maybe a prism, but Dogen said it, when a barbarian comes, a Chinese person is reflected. Of course, barbarian, the word barbarian in Chinese was used for anybody who's not Chinese. Anyway, Joshua went on, this old monk holds one blade of grass to use it as a 16 foot golden body of Buddha and holds a 16 foot golden body of Buddha to use it as one blade of grass.

[13:16]

Buddha is delusion. delusions are Buddha. Then a monk asked Joshu, I wonder whose delusion is Buddha? And Joshu said, it's the delusion of everybody. The monk said, how can we escape it? Joshu said, what's the use of escaping it? So after, again, after Joshu said Buddha is delusion, delusions are Buddha. A monk asked, I wonder whose delusion is Buddha? Do any of you have this delusion about Buddha? So, Joseph said, it's the delusion of everybody. But actually, the Chinese sentence might be read, it's the delusion for everybody. So, you know, maybe he was saying we need this delusion. Or maybe he was saying we've all got it.

[14:20]

But the Lord said, how can we escape it? The monk wanted to escape, wanted to transcend this delusion. I don't know if he wanted to transcend delusions, or he wanted to transcend Buddhas, or both. But anyway, he said, how can we escape it? And Joshu said, what's the use of escaping it? So if you want to transcend, you know, whatever, please tell me. What for? What good that ever did anybody? Dogen then commented, although the old Buddha, Jajo, said it like this, I, Ehe, also have a little bit to say. Great assembly. Do you want to hear it? Suppose someone were to ask me, I wonder whose delusion is Buddha? I would say to him, one blade of grass is the delusion of one blade of grass.

[15:23]

The 16 foot golden body of Buddha is the delusion of the 16 foot golden body of Buddha. So please don't transcend the delusion you are. Or you might, you know, want to, but what's the use of that? If this person would ask, how can we escape it, I would say, if you want to escape it, just escape it. So please, if you want to transcend something, just do it. Forget about transcendence, just do it. So can you be in delusion completely, throughout delusion? This is Buddha. Buddha is a delusion, but delusions are Buddha. So please study the delusions you are.

[16:28]

One blade of grass is the delusion of one blade of grass. The 16 foot golden body is the delusion of a 16 foot golden body. Val is Val's delusion. Nancy is Nancy's delusion. Here we are. Can we be totally deluded together? In fact, we already are. But if you want to escape it, fine. But you don't have to leave the room to do that. You can just stay right here in the middle of delusion and be completely deluded and think you're a Buddha. Or be completely a Buddha and just be deluded.

[17:35]

So, someone told me yesterday that actually each blade of grass is a different shade of green. So I haven't had a chance to go out on the lawn yet today and really check that out. But I think it's true. Each single blade of grass is a slightly different shade of green. Have you ever noticed that, Janine? in your activities with plants, that there are different shades of green. Well, I'm colorblind, but I think I could still see. So maybe each 16-foot golden body of Buddha is a slightly different shade of Buddha.

[18:45]

So again, Dogen says in Genjo Koan that deluded people have delusions about Buddha and Buddhas are awakened about their delusions. The point isn't to get rid of your delusions, that's really a delusion. Now you probably have that one too, but that's okay, just study that delusion like all the This is the practice beyond transcendence. This is the practice of being a human being. One more of these I'll give you. Another time, Dogen said, Dropping off body and mind is good practice.

[19:55]

So dropping off body and mind was a phrase that Dogen used for ultimate, unsurpassed, complete, perfect enlightenment. Just dropping off body and mind. So it may be hard for you to think of, not to think of that as transcendence. And I know some of you think of dropping off body and mind as getting rid of or letting go of your body and mind, and maybe even not having any thoughts, not having any illusions. And Dogen does say dropping off body and mind is good practice. What does he mean by that? Dropping off body and mind is good practice. Make a vigorous effort to pierce your nostrils. This is actually, you know, this is, I don't know if they had, if they had nose rings then. Actually, you know, Shouhaku and I have realized after translating it many times that we had totally different understandings about that.

[21:05]

So one meaning, and somebody in Japan recently insisted that this was the right meaning, but I don't think so. I think they're both right. One is that you actually be able to breathe. so that your nasal passages are clear. But it also means to put it in your nose. And this is from the ox herding pictures and the image of the ox as an image of training in Zen Buddhism. And the ox is led. So the ox, whether it's by the teacher or by the student himself, the ox is trained to eventually become a tame and eventually become actually a helpful being, and actually to be calm and carry everybody to the other shore. And there's various different versions of that, but the idea of piercing your nostrils is just to put a ring in your nostrils so that you can be led, so that you can be trained, so that you're ready to practice, so that you can actually sit on your cushion. Anyway, these are two different meanings of that. And I'll let you decide which one you like.

[22:07]

But anyway, he does say, to make a vigorous effort to pierce your nostrils. Karmic consciousness is endless, with nothing fundamental to rely on, including not others, not self, not sentient beings, and not causes or conditions. So we live in this world, this endless world of karmic consciousness. Every thought we have, every sense, perception that we have, arises out of karmic consciousness. We might try and transcend karmic consciousness, but actually it's endless. There is some elaborate web of total causes and conditions that allowed each of us to be sitting here this morning. So we cannot transcend that. It's just the way things are. Karmic consciousness is endless. with nothing fundamental to rely on.

[23:09]

No matter how many times you say Buddha, your voice is still a total product of karmic consciousness. So he says, karmic consciousness is endless with nothing fundamental to rely on, including not others, not self, not sentient beings, and not even causes or conditions. Although this is so, eating breakfast comes first. So I hope you've all had your breakfast. And if not, I hope you will have lunch. So you may want to transcend eating breakfast. You may want to be able to breathe the air of uprightness and nourish yourself that way. And maybe you can't, but still we need to find a way to support ourselves to have breakfast and maybe even also lunch or dinner.

[24:23]

So Zen practice is not about transcendence. It's not about getting free of delusions. It's also not about being stuck in delusions. It's about being free right in the middle of delusion. Being free to be deluded right in the middle of delusion. So sometimes in religious theory they talk about transcendence and imminence. So the divine is, you know, transcendent, it's up there, you know, God is sitting up on a white crowd with a long white beard or whatever, you know. There may be more sophisticated theological ideas of it, but anyway. That's the divine as transcendent. The other side is immanence, that God is in everything, or the divine is in everything, that the world itself is sacred. And in some ways I kind of like to lean to that side myself, but it's not exactly that either.

[25:32]

It's not just that everything as it is, sacred, it's because we actually are there. It's not separate from us. It includes how we radiate light from our eyes. So this isn't transcendence, but how we radiate light from our eyes has something to do with how imminent this awakening and delusion is in the world. So we have to bring impermanence to impermanence. Of course, everything is impermanent. But if you're stuck in some solid illusion of Buddha, you might miss all the different shades of green in the grass. You might not allow the impermanence to be impermanent. So our practice is just about creating the world of impermanence with each breath.

[26:40]

Meeting the world of delusion with each delusion. Not turning away from our own fears and frustrations and confusion and greed and all that stuff. And if we do, then not turning away from our turning away. It actually is okay to be the person you are. It doesn't mean we don't have problems. It doesn't mean we shouldn't take care of them when we can. And if you're somebody who really likes transcendence, well, maybe you shouldn't transcend that, maybe you should be that kind of person, and that's okay, and we'll just have to somehow put up with it. And yet, that's just another delusion, and so we can include that delusion in the big sangha soup of delusions.

[28:00]

and take another inhale and exhale and share our lives with each other as best we can in this silent celebration of Zazen. So I also wanted to say a little bit about Kobinchino Roshi. We're going to have a memorial service for him and his daughter who drowned last week. But before I say something, before I talk about COVID, are there comments or questions about what I've been talking about? Well, I think the word is used to mean a lot of things. I talked about it in the beginning. reach some sometimes it's used to reach some transcendent state to reach some state beyond the usual human world of suffering well maybe maybe it would be better to just ask everybody what do you think transcendence means positive meanings of transcendence

[29:26]

Well, she's somebody anyway. But she wanted to transcend that. There was an actor who once said, I could have been a contender. I could have been somebody. So maybe he could have transcended his life on the waterfront. But anyway. And I think what I'm saying is that the idea of transcendence that most of us have as a religious ideal from the point of view of Zen is an escape. So I want you to look at how, because we all have some idea of that, we all have some idea of transcending the suffering we have, or the problems we have, or the limited state of being or awareness that we have.

[30:51]

And I think those are ideas of transcendence. And I want to encourage you to question those ideas, those particular delusions. And I think they're very deep, and I think they're part of what brought us to practice. So we don't have to, so by saying question them to go beyond transcendence, partly that includes transcendence. Partly that includes that we have some, we do have some idea of transcendence. We even have some experience of transcendence. We have periods of Zazen. Most of us probably think of them as the good periods. We'll include them in that category if we have such categories where we feel above our usual tapes of laundry lists and delusions and anxieties and so forth.

[31:55]

And it's not that that's bad, but I don't think that's really where it's at in terms of our practice, that our practice is really down to earth. And that includes that we have had this idea or experience of transcendence. But our practice is to come back to ordinary, everyday stuff and how we take care of it. And we may not do so well at that, that's okay. But that's actually where the heart of our practice is. A classic. Good book. Well, maybe Buddha was just kind of a cranky guy.

[33:00]

Well, OK. Yes it does. And it's good to read that stuff, you know. It's good to really, you know, if you want to get beyond transcendence, it's really good to steep yourself in. all the delusions of transcendence and getting free from some sort of, you know, so we actually, maybe we really do need to enter into the world of transcendence and completely, completely explore that delusion before we can get beyond transcendence. And it's a lovely delusion. And, you know, it even, you know, kind of provides practices that might allow us the delusion that we are.

[34:05]

doing those practices. And it might be very helpful. And you might even feel better. So I don't say you should not do those practices or read those books. But can you read that book about transcendence and still eat breakfast? Actually you can because it's before noon. Yes, very good. It does happen once in a while. We have these strange odd moments of clarity. And it's not that there's anything wrong with them. But another time, Zhao Zhou, who Dogen was quoting in that story, also said, I don't get stuck even in clarity. Yeah, it's lovely.

[35:12]

There are many things that are lovely. And it's OK to have lovely things in your life. It's OK to have a nice house or a nice car or good relationships. That's good. You should actually have those. And if you have some clarity, that's another one. Great. Well, maybe it's too much to call them all delusions. It's just the next thing. So maybe it's kind of on the side of transcendence to call them all delusion, to call them either one. Right, and that's why I was talking about this today, because Beverly gets attached to transcendence.

[36:23]

And some of the others of you do too, and I do too sometimes. So don't get attached to delusion either. It's not that you have to go looking for delusions. Really, you don't have to. They'll come around. Q. To talk about it as transcendence is ordinary thinking. Very good, yes. So I like the way you said it, the surprise of acceptance. Suddenly, here I am, just like this. So, you know, you can call that transcendence, but it's a little too much. And maybe it's too much to call it delusion, too. It's just this. So I was talking for a while about just this, and just this is it.

[37:26]

And I'm still talking about that, but now I'm talking about it in the ways in which we make it into something else. We want to have some glorious 16-foot golden body. But actually, already, every single blade of grass is a different shade of green. There's actually a quote somebody told me from Milton Erickson. Interesting guy. Psychologist. Anyway. How can you really, not necessarily be clear about, but really become interested in, really study, really, not study analytically necessarily, but really take on each of the particular events and circumstances and situations and people and blades of grass in your life. So I'm not saying that you have to do it well.

[38:29]

Lord knows I don't, you know, but can we be willing to take that on? Can we be willing to be the person we are and meet, you know, the events around us? Each moment is fresh. That's what presence means. Yes. I think then it fits with the eye because the presence is coming through the eyes because you're alive.

[39:30]

Presence is coming through the eyes from without and from within. That's right. Each moment is fresh and raw and tender and tragic and wonderful. Yeah, right. So it's not transcendent, it's not getting beyond that. It's not delusion. You're right, whoever said that. It's too much to call it delusion, in a way. But maybe it's better for us to call it delusion than transcendence. You're not, no, karmic consciousness is endless. It's not about getting free from cause and effect. Each moment is raw, each moment is fresh, and it's totally a product of karmic consciousness.

[40:31]

And yet, in the middle of that, we have the opportunity to be present as we are, meeting it, bringing our, you know, this is sometimes called engaged Buddhism. that we are engaged with whatever meets our eyes right now. This is a very common delusion, so maybe this We'll talk about this another time, but the idea of being free from cause and effect. This is one of the most common delusions about transcendence. And so there's an old Zen story about a fox that is about this. And one of the lines in it is about not ignoring cause and effect, not being blind to cause and effect.

[41:38]

So without trying to get, this is exactly the point, without trying to get free from or get out of the world of samsara or cause and effect, to actually be here in this situation. So this is kind of difficult, to actually be willing to be the deluded person we are. So I'll go back to calling it deluded, because I think there's some advantage to that. You're going to bring us to the world of delusion. OK, good. And you found out whether to invade Iraq or not. And you quoted Luke Carroll. And the quote was really fascinating to me because I've just re-understood it right now as we're talking. He was talking about whether, you know, if you invade Iraq, you have to have an understanding of what you want after it's gone. And Luke Carroll said, if you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.

[42:42]

It may as well drop nuclear bombs right over. By that logic. Lewis Carroll had a wonderful sense of irony. Yeah. Well, exactly. But now, I understand very differently now after this talk. It's just that if you don't have a definite idea of where you're going or supposed to go or what to call it, you can't have this or that. And anything you do will take you where you have to go. Well, okay, the part I would question about is that, is that where you have to go as if, because I hear in that, in the way you said that a little bit, this other thing I've talked about, which has to do with transcendence, which is this idea that there is some ultimate destiny. There's some right way to be Miriam or Steven, or there's some, some, some special place that Dale or, you know, Melinda has to be at or go to, or that there's some right way to be you today. I don't think, I don't think so either, but I think, I think that there's a tinge of that in the idea, maybe you were saying it or not, in the idea that if there's some place, that everybody will get you there, as if there's a there that we need to be at.

[43:53]

We don't know where we're going, actually. Yeah, well, I guess that's what I'm discovering every day, just the beauty of impact. You live all those ideas. Exactly. But partly, to get rid of them, we have to kind of be willing to look at them, as messy as they are. Q. Well, but they're constantly pure. A. Yeah, and they're deeply embedded in our karmic consciousness. This idea of transcendence takes many forms, this idea of whether it's some special way we have to be, or some special place we have to get to, or some special destiny that is meant for me, or you, or whoever, or us. some ultimate mission that, you know, is the purpose of the United States of America. Only Uncle Sam knows, anyway. Yes? Thank you.

[44:56]

I was listening for a certain number of moments I don't know how to put it into words, but I felt like I was getting something. And I felt an appreciation for all your hard work. I thought, you know, this hard work pays off because, you know, I keep transmitting something. But then what happened was interesting because I think it says to me how much my identification with my intellect has been Then I want to be able to grasp it with my hands so it would be solid in my rehabilitation. And then, of course, I got very upset. Good. You know, that kind of, when we hear something, there's a certain way of hearing that happens in

[46:02]

Zen practice, and it's a lot about what these koans are about, and it's a lot about what Zazen is about, and it's a lot about what dialogue with the teacher is about, and also talking together like this, that we get something, we hear something, we get it in a way that's not how we usually think about understanding. It's not intellectual. It might be. It's possible to actually, you know, read these texts and like, you know, have some intellectual understanding of them, but that's not what it's about. It's more about what you described that you get, you do get it. And you don't have to worry about then our usual way of putting it in some intellectual box that you can retrieve it because it has entered you already in some other way in, in your, in your upright, I was going to say Buddha body, but I'll say blade of grass body. Uh, and you've been informed by it and it's in your form. And it's there in some way that you don't necessarily have a pattern for accessing.

[47:08]

But actually, it's there. So you don't have to worry about remembering anything, actually. In fact, I did want to say something about Coburn, because we're going to have a memorial service. And some of you have heard me talk about him already Wednesday morning or Wednesday evening this week. was probably the senior Soto teacher, was the senior Soto teacher in America, and actually he would have fit right in in Bolinas. We're doing a five-day sitting at Jikoji, which is one of his temples down the peninsula, August 22 to 26. If anyone's interested, we do need to have signups by Monday. But there's information about it on the flyer on the table. And it's possible to come for three of the five days, or three or four or five days. And they're in the middle of a 49-day sashin, which happens when a teacher dies. And every seventh day after the death, there's a special memorial service. So the first night we're there will be one of those.

[48:10]

And I actually sat a sashin with him 21 years ago at Shikoji. And it was very, very helpful to me personally. And he was a wonderful, very kind, very gentle, very sensitive person. Pretty hard to get a hold of. He used to ordain people and then kind of disappear. For a long time, he wasn't so available. He was in New Mexico for a while. I should go back. First, he came to California from Japan to help Suzuki Roshi in the early days of Zen Center and was at Tassajara and City Center, well, back then at Bush Street, helping set up the practice. And then after Suzuki Yoshi died, he was, he had a group called Bodhi and taught in the South Bay, Cannondale, which is still there. Is it Palo Alto or Los Alamos?

[49:16]

Yeah, that whole area. But then he wasn't around for a while. He was in New Mexico and Colorado and was taught in Europe too. But I actually just, I didn't realize this, but he's been back teaching at, Shikoji in recent years, quite fairly actively, fairly available. Anyway, he drowned trying to save his daughter last weekend in Switzerland a week ago Thursday. He was also death trapped, a six-year-old daughter. So, but thinking about him, I realized how much, how I do this group in Bolinas has to do with him. I only said that one session with him, but I, saw him over the years, occasionally thereafter. And he was very informal, and people could just come whenever they wanted to and leave. And so she and I sat. And actually, I think every other teacher I've sat with, you have to come in at the beginning or wait outside at the right time.

[50:25]

But he just let people come and go. And as I've told some other people, and I sat with him at Jikoji, one of the people who was taking care of the place, and it used to be kind of an all-hippie kind of commune. Anyway, one of the people, in the middle of his Dharma talk, one of the people staggered in and kind of landed on the Zafu right near Kobin without dropping his bottle, and Kobin just went right on talking. So sometimes, and I know it distracts some of you, but sometimes I've let some of the homeless people in to sit a period or do get-in-with-us or something. I think I saw Coban's example. So it's important that people who are most deluded are welcomed.

[51:28]

because maybe they're also the most transcendent. And I'll share the other story that I told on Wednesdays, just because a few of you might not have heard it, and it's worth repeating that one time. And I don't know, I haven't seen this here actually, but sometimes if you go to large dharma centers and somebody's giving, a teacher's giving a dharma talk, some of the students may be sitting on their cushions and start to close their eyes and nod off and actually even fall asleep. It's happened. And one time, Kuber was giving a dharma talk and he was talking and then he kind of paused. Then he said some more and was talking and then to allow it to penetrate into us and he paused again. He was very soft-spoken, so he continued a little bit. Then he paused some more. And then he fell asleep in his own dharma talk.

[52:32]

This is my favorite Zen story. Anyway, so we're going to do a memorial service for him today at noon. And so I just wanted to say a little bit about him. So let's do the closing chants, and then I'll have some other announcements. So the four bodhisattva vows on the bottom of page eight ♪ Blues and the blues ♪

[53:01]

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