Everywhere you look for it, everywhere you look, everywhere you look, you see it. Everywhere you search, it is gone. Wisdom does not reach it. What will you do? Now if you can show me the path of being, of all being, you can chase the Garuda out of the sky. And even Takujo by a dragon's snout will be thrown deep into the ravine. Roshi, in a few days, I will be leaving this monastery, returning to my home country,

[01:06]

returning to practice in the small town Zendo. Seems like a rookie who has to go back to the minor leagues for more seasoning. Through your major league experience, is there some advice you can give me? No, we're not playing baseball. And making an accurate, good question is not enough. I think if you make, well, let's see. Complete an effort as we can, knowing the depth of Buddhism and our own shallowness,

[02:20]

we can find a way to get across. I'm sure you can take care of the practice in Lakshatri, and any place else you go. Thank you. Roshi, I want to give you a piece of my mind. May I really have it?

[03:40]

Please. I say it's a piece, but it's the whole thing. I was wondering what you were going to do with the other part. I anticipated your question. It's quite beautiful, actually. Thank you very much. Roshi, even when the mind doesn't move, things come in the back door. When you turn around, you'll find there's no back and front.

[04:44]

Thank you. Can you explain more? Your practice is pretty good, but you still have the idea of location.

[06:03]

Do you understand what I mean? No back, no front, no middle. The way I understand that is that everything is back. That's the location. In the beginning of Satsang, you suggested that we watch where our thoughts come from.

[07:14]

It seems like thoughts don't come while you're watching them. They come when you're looking some other way. How do you get on the other side of the person who looks away? Anyway, you're on the right track, but you can't figure it out so carefully. You don't want to figure it out. Before you said there's no back and front, and now you say the other side.

[08:17]

At least you have to see both sides. Thank you. You said that the relationship between Master and disciple, and that between friends practicing together, is not same again, and is unconditional. How do you go about recognizing such a relationship? How do you go about recognizing the potential for such a relationship in its formative stage? No. That's it, right? He says...

[09:26]

Shall I say it? I'm not sure even if you say it loud, they can hear. Why don't you try? You said that the relationship between Master and disciple, and that between students practicing together, such as Yaksan Igen and his brother, is unconditional. How do you go about recognizing such a relationship? In the formative stage. In the formative stages. I'm sorry, but it's not Yaksan Igen and his brother, Dogo Enchi, and Yaksan Igen. I know that's a misunderstanding. It helps to get things straight from the beginning. I know what you mean.

[10:34]

Of course. When it's not clear, look at what you're doing and not at what you want. Enchi, how can an ordinary mind be convinced that it is enlightened mind? Can you hear?

[11:40]

How can an ordinary mind be convinced that it is enlightened mind? Can you hear? Just know that it's so. If that's not enough, examine your doubt. What's your doubt? My doubt comes up in my activities. Which are what? They're not what I want them to be. But what you want isn't enlightened mind. Maybe enlightenment isn't what you want it to be. Anyway, your activities are imperfect.

[12:48]

Is that what you mean? Perfection has nothing to do with enlightenment. Is it possible to be anything but 99%? How can you let go enough to show how imperfect you are? How can you let go enough to show how imperfect you are? The same question. The how is the problem. How do we figure out a how? There's no... The how is some hesitation. You just do it. You just know and you keep trying. There's no place to hide. So you just... Knowing there's no place to hide.

[13:51]

You just... Do it. Keep spinning as completely as you can. Whatever it is, you can have some confidence, that's me. It feels uncomfortable. Actually, the feeling of having people not know quite you, or thinking better of you than you are, is worse than having them know you. So the more thoroughly you know, well, at least they know me. Then it's okay. Well, that was a mess, but... That was me. You're mine if you're noisy. You may be noisy, but that's me. I enjoy rambling around with you every day.

[15:09]

Worsen? What is the ground? You want more than that? What is this? What is this? No, your knees are on it. How can I explain what you're on? How can I explain what we are? Where does your question actually come from? If you know where your question actually comes from, you know what the ground is. How can I find out where my question comes from? How can I find out where my question comes from? You can't hear in the back? You didn't hear the first one?

[16:15]

The first one? No, the second one. How can I... How can I find out where my question comes from? How can I find out where my question comes from? Stop looking in the usual sense and realize it's not separate from you. And you remember that in everyone. It's not separate from you. As long as you think it's separate from you, you look in a way that's useless. If you search for it, you look for it, it's gone. If you search for it, you look for it.

[17:52]

Do you have a question? You have no question. Why not? Does anything go down? Anyway, I see something before me. Why not share it with me? You are, but there are more ways than one. Roshi,

[19:20]

the Sandokai begins, the mind of the great sage of India flowed unseen from west to east and kept true to its source. The clear wind in your hand, how does it blow? North, south, east, west. How do you use it? What's the how? The how is the in space of my heart. Now show me how you use it. The how I use it is by coming before you and asking a question though you can't give me any answers and appreciating you're trying to give me an answer even though you have a headache. I have a headache? What makes you think I have a headache?

[20:21]

The story you told in lecture? We come and bother you, but you enjoy it and we enjoy coming, you know, even though we bother you. And so this is the way we practice together, giving each other headaches and enjoying it. Well luckily I don't get headaches very often but I do enjoy it. Who are you? Who am I? Is that what you asked? That's what I asked. Oh, I don't know. I hope you don't get a headache. I got shows, you know.

[21:31]

I don't think I got shows. Excuse me. What's the point you want to question? Thank you. Roshi, when I leave Tassajara, what can I take with me? I don't know.

[22:38]

Hmm. The practical stem of your heartbeat. Roshi, what is the consciousness of this piece of paper? Hmm. Why do you separate yourself from the piece of paper? The same. Different. You can't fold it up and put it away. Be careful. It's very heavy. No, it's light.

[23:41]

Oh. Okay. Roshi? Roshi? It's not clear, and I seem to want an answer. It's not clear, and I seem to want an answer. But that seems okay. It's okay.

[24:54]

If you want an answer, look in the scenes. Do you understand? How do you look in the scenes? Look in the scenes of your senses. You seem to want an answer. Sentences meet together in a way separate from the feeling it's okay. What brings the sentence together?

[25:58]

Thinking mind? Inherited thinking mind? Not just inherited, and not just thinking mind. Anyway, we have to give up. Why? Being satisfied only with clarity. Can you do it? Yes. Can you do it? Yes. Roshi?

[27:11]

No Buddha? No Krishna? Everybody see in front? He is different from you. Buddha is waking up from the dragon sleep. Hit him on the nose. At the end of one of your lectures in this session, you said, you know, you know,

[28:13]

you know what your practice is. And I started to cry. But I cried, and I went deeper and deeper, and in Zazen in this session, I go deeper and deeper, and I get to a point, and I don't know. There is no solid place. It's just a part. Roshi?

[29:27]

Is there any difference between flag and wind? Yes and no. Is there any difference between self and desire? Yes and no. I have to live with that yes and no. Yes and no doesn't just mean yes. Roshi?

[30:31]

Roshi sits in serene faith and shows his boundless gravity. Does he jump in serene faith? I was with you up to the time he jumped. I was with you up to the time he jumped. If you jumped, I would have understood. Anyway, the fog was last night's mine. I don't know if you saw what you saw yesterday. Roshi?

[32:08]

What does the ability to concentrate have to do with eliminating the small self? Robert? Robert? What does the ability to concentrate have to do with eliminating the small self? Robert? Actually, there's no connection. But if you can concentrate, if you can stay with something, you can also let go of it.

[33:15]

And so letting go of it helps, not the concentration. Roshi? The soldiers have put down their swords and have joined the farmers in the fields, but they're pretty stupid. How do the potatoes feel? Sounds like you. Did you hear? The soldiers have put down their swords and have joined the farmers in the fields, but they're pretty stupid. How do the potatoes feel? Who are the soldiers? Ten students at Green Gulp?

[34:20]

It's empty. It's true, and there's no potatoes growing at Green Gulp. But you're a potato. That's true. But you're a potato. Will you help cultivate me? I don't know how. Yes, you do. Fertile ground requires seeds and your activity. Thank you. Roshi,

[35:49]

as flowers fall to the ground, the earth trembles. I take this to mean that the pain and suffering are the mind of Buddha, and the earth trembles. And also that just the ordinary mind is the mind of a dragon. I don't know, but what does that mean to you? Give up craving? Just be yourself? It's pretty hard to give up forms.

[36:56]

It's pretty hard to give up ourselves if we just be yourself. Just be yourself. Thank you. It also means to me that the pain and suffering as flowers fall to the ground as we look from and into those things as we look from and into those things means it doesn't have any meaning that flowers fall and earth trembles. And you don't need to do anything

[38:02]

except find yourself shining in your activity. Thank you. Again. Thank you, Roshi. Thank you. Roshi, you and other teachers have given me many words of encouragement, but until I decide to do Zazen,

[39:04]

what questions can I ask? You can't do much until you learn to listen. When I asked you to hit harder with the stick, twice, each time you didn't hit harder. Why not? Why not? You just wouldn't. You just wouldn't. The monk would just wouldn't. Well, we'll wait.

[40:10]

We'd like you to. Hurry up a little. Okay. Roshi, Norgan says everything is good in the kitchen. Wave follows wave, but the wave seems to be separate from the water. But they're not. From what point of view do the waves look separate?

[41:21]

Just forget a little more. Should we watch the waves? Does the water watch the waves? Or does the water just let the waves down? From your own experience, what do you say? The water doesn't care what happens. That's why you're making a question. Hmm.

[42:38]

That practice has been good, too. But you like to listen to yourself. Otherwise, stop listening. Start hearing. This session, when I started listening to your lectures more, I noticed that there's no difference between now and before of your lectures a year ago, more than a year ago. It's just now you've decided to lay it more on the home. Later, next year. Here we are,

[44:00]

practicing together in the full valley. And I just want to give all the questions the rest of them. You joined up, huh? What comes first? The chicken. The chicken! This time I thought it was the egg. And shake. And shake.

[45:02]

And shake. A hot bath is the best place for yoga to go. Yoga to go? Yoga. Oh, yoga. Thank you. Thank you. You got ripped off again. I wish I had one. I wish I had 1,000. Why don't you ask?

[46:04]

She said, question? No question. What's the difference? Am I taking your hand? I'm not taking your hand. What's the difference? Nothing. That's a good question. To me, personally, it's not good. And that was her question. It came off in my hand. It seemed... It seemed good. Yeah. May I stuck with you if I take it? Yes. Okay. That's wonderful. Okay.

[47:20]

Thank you. May I? Yes. Thank you. It's one of my thoughts. Which hand? Yeah, you were right. How come you always wiped everything back? Well, I've been thinking about that lately. It moves. But it's quite still. It doesn't shine.

[48:22]

It's appetizing, this fog. Wind. Sun. Rain. And they can't get up it. But it wears down. And I pity you. Thank you very much. Roshan, you and Roshan said you killed a bad part of yourself. Can you give us some hints how to do that? What?

[49:38]

What's the bad part of yourself? What? Yes. Specifically. Well, yes. What makes you think they're bad? Well, that's what he said. Are we concerned what he said or what you experienced? Kills of thinking they're bad. That's the bully. Until you kill the bully that thinks they're bad, you won't be able to work with them. Everything is bad and good, isn't it? It's the one who thinks they're bad that you kill.

[50:47]

Well, if you do things that are bad and you don't think about them, you still have consequences. Everything you do has consequences. You can't avoid them. If you're trying to avoid bad consequences, See? As you must find in your practice, if you were, for some selfish reason, trying to get away with something,

[51:55]

and it has some bad consequences, then you don't have a state of mind which will allow you to accept it as bad or good. Do you understand what I mean? Practically speaking, if your intentions were selfish or some narrow feeling which we don't feel so good about taking advantage of some other person or something, or trying to build up yourself, that's the meaning of the precepts, if you try to build up yourself in some way at somebody else's disadvantage, or try to take something that belongs to someone else, then the consequences of that act can't be met. But if your intentions were to try to recognize this life, each of our lives,

[52:58]

and you make a mistake, you can accept that mistake and its consequences with some clear feeling. It's still a mistake, but an entirely different mistake. And such mistakes are very rewarding, like going down a road by mistake and finding Takahara at the end of it, which I did once. Anyway, such mistakes, if you actually look at where you end up in the mistake, it's usually pretty interesting. Often it's the way we find a new land. So mistakes done with a clear mind are often a new road. Thank you. My hands are always cold.

[54:07]

I can't even see the tissue. They're cold-handed women. Mine too. Ever since I had the flu, my hands are cold. Sometimes you're a hot-headed woman. Roshi? Yesterday, in vain, I repeated the answer. It is the mind that is moving. Like a dead animal, I strapped it to my shoulders like a shroud,

[55:08]

hoping to place it on my altar and worship it. Now I just want to ask a clear question. What is moving as we name... ...turns to leave the two anonymous monks? No, it's different from what you already are. You've been following your skills for some time now. Sometimes in the same furrow. Over and over. Sometimes foot off the ground. That's good. It's getting closer.

[56:10]

That keeps flowing. It's a big field. Roshi, we come to Zen Center to pass a word. We want some friends. We want someone to be able to communicate with.

[57:17]

So we find you. You are a great friend. We also find all of us. And we want to be friends with each other. It's not so easy. What are the qualities of a good friend?

[57:40]

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