We can say Buddhism doesn't exist. And that's true. There's no reason to be Zen or Soto or Rinzai or any particular school or even a Buddhist. Just finding out what's true for us. But in a general sense, we can say we're a Buddhist and I'm a Buddhist. What does it mean if you are a Buddhist? You and I are Buddhists. Some things characterize that, you know, for example, you practice in the realm of men and not gods. For Buddhist gods are rather beside the point. They are some static idea without change and separation of the absolute and the phenomenal.

[01:27]

So for a Buddhist is a person who practices in the realm of men. And a Buddhist also practices, well, first of all, you have the idea of practice if you're a Buddhist. And the word, you know, I think we know what it means, but it's hard to describe. One way I could describe it is, existence appears to us in two modes, one ultimate or absolute and one relative. And the recognition of those two modes is practice. For although we exist in the realm of the Absolute, our social life and psychological life and visually oriented brain tends to perceive the relative surfaces as we were talking about yesterday.

[02:50]

I didn't want to go into surfaces too much because it's pretty obvious what I mean and what I mean in the sense it's not obvious is rather difficult to say something about. But as you know I'm interested in the word hubris and as being out of harmony with things things then taking their revenge. But hubris literally is the... hu means up and bris means violence. I guess brutus or brutish comes from the bris part. So being on the surface of things and the violence of that is like hubris. And it's interesting, utter darkness, because utter is the same as the hu. it also means up, but in a sense it's used to mean complete. So utter darkness, in a way, darkness is the opposite of up, or utter, or utter darkness is the opposite of hubris. Anyway, you

[04:28]

have the sense of existence through practice, if you're a Buddhist. And also you, maybe we can say, exist in the sphere or realm of oneness. And again, this is a Ideally you do anyway, but this is also a way of practice. For example, our practice is to do everything equally. I mean, whether you're, there's a saying, whether you're killing a mouse or a tiger, you kill them the same way. I don't know why that example is used in Buddhism, but I've not killed either. A mouse maybe, not for a long time.

[05:33]

Or when you're offering incense, you don't have to make much effort, but when you're lifting a big stone, you have to make some big effort. But that same concentration of lifting a big stone or offering incense is how to practice oneness, how to find the immediacy of your activity what non-discrimination is. So with same concentration. It doesn't mean to be caught by the big stone or by the incense. It means to be ready for anything that happens. So you offer incense the same way as lifting a big stone. And oneness also means how your eye sees your eye. As Suzuki Ueshiba used to say, it's difficult for your eye to see your eye. But to be, to exist beyond

[07:06]

absolute and relative. Your eye must see your eye. So the Heart Sutra, which we chant all the time, is a teaching of how the eye sees the eye. It's some great medicine. The Heart Sutra says it's the greatest of all medicines. So mind and body can realize mind and body, not without some outside agent, God or some program. So form is emptiness, emptiness is form. Emptiness is emptiness. Form is not emptiness because form is emptiness, so emptiness is emptiness. These are each practices, as I talked a while ago about it some. And the sutra ends with a mantra, you know, yatte yatte. And again, this means the realization must be physical.

[08:37]

practice is always in the immediacy of our body and mind and phenomena. And we exist as Buddhists in, what could I say, the realm of phenomena as intelligence, or the intelligence of phenomena. The world is not looked upon as something that's to be manipulated, some object of our self, for us. There's a plant in my room. It's dry. I don't know what it's doing exactly, but it seems to be wrapping a... It wants the seed to be thrown, so it seems to be wrapping one part of itself around another part of itself to make a kind of spring, and then when it dries and breaks, it goes, boop, and it bounces quite a distance. It makes quite a beautiful little object. But that's quite intelligent.

[10:09]

That doesn't prove my point, but anyway, I think it's interesting. So, umman's third gate, you know, the first is, what embraces everything? And the answer is tathagata or suchness or something. Even though there's the answer, that doesn't help you. So you have to realize what is, embraces everything. And the second one is what stops rebirth? And the answer is oneness of mind. But again, you have to realize that. And the third is, what is the realm of phenomena? And the answer is wave after wave. These also correspond to the three refuges, the three pure precepts, and the ten prohibitory precepts.

[11:43]

And wave after wave, on the one hand, means birth and death, et cetera, et cetera. Constant cycle of birth and fruition and decay and death. But it also means the intelligence of phenomena because it means Wave follows wave and wave leads wave. Each wave is leading a wave and each wave is following a wave. So it means actually the creative participation of this which is itself in itself. And when you no longer objectify yourself, as separate from one part of you, separate from something else, or separate from that which you see, the phenomena, you find the intelligence of phenomena, whether it's so-called inanimate things or our own selves, is something we minutely participate in.

[13:04]

So yesterday when I said I didn't mind doing sesshins, I was telling a lie, because it never occurs to me to mind or not mind. Not exactly a lie, but I was just saying something. Because if I always say I don't think about it, it sounds funny, but actually I don't think about it. because I don't make that kind of decision. If I make decisions, they're of the kind of wave follows wave and wave leads wave. So when an island is there or a boat or a current, there's no question. It's just choppy water or go around the island or whatever. So if you're a Buddhist, you participate with phenomena, with the intelligence of phenomena. I think you all understand what I'm talking about. So far, you could say, still, although this characterizes you as a Buddhist,

[14:48]

you could still say Buddhism doesn't exist. This is just obvious common sense. But there's another sense in which we are a Buddhist or a Buddha, a vehicle for Buddhism. which is much more difficult to talk about. And in this sense you can say more clearly, I am a Buddhist or I am a vehicle for Buddhism. We could say practicing this way is practicing in the realm or sphere of the robe. The robe is, you know, in the morning verse, a field far beyond form and emptiness.

[16:05]

or the realm of purification, or the realm of mudra. I think maybe mudra is the most useful way to try to describe what I mean. From this point of view, We say there's form and emptiness, but there are various kinds of form. And from this point of view, form equals joy, or mudra. Mudra is form when joy is there. It means ashes is ashes and firewood is firewood or something complete. So your posture, you are not just when you're sitting zazen, attempting to match some form or sit naturally. Your aim is not to sit naturally, necessarily. You know, we can say, please sit naturally or to sit formally or to sit like a Buddhist statue.

[17:50]

but to sit with that form in which joy arises. This also will include natural and formal, relaxed and energetic And this kind of practice is not just for zazen, it's also in body, speech and mind. So we are trying to find that form of body, that form of speech in which joy arises, that form of mind in which joy arises. And for us,

[19:18]

I don't know if anybody's ever explained this kind of thing before. It's, you know, to be understood intuitively. But the crystallizations of our mind, of our Western minds, are so foreign to this way of looking at things that it's very difficult. We, just using the example of natural again, we tend to think of natural as higher than formal or something. But here I'm saying something that's

[20:28]

other than natural or formal. When I talk about something like this I feel I'm crashing around in all of our mental crystallizations. It's rather exhausting actually. Trying to find some way to express this for ourselves in our own culture was something I went over and over with Suzuki Roshi. but normally it's not talked about so much and also it's both intuitive and maybe esoteric

[21:37]

Anyway, Suzuki Roshi talked about it all the time, of course, but it was rather difficult for you listening to his lectures to know what he meant. This is also the realm of... This is very much like tantric Buddhism at this point. It's because we're practicing then in the realm of the patriarchs. For tantric Buddhism, they're practicing in the realm of the Lama. And so they spell it out more clearly. They say, you take refuge in Buddha, Dharma, Sangha, and the Lama. We don't spell it out that way, but we mean the same thing. for we exist in the sphere or realm of the patriarchs, which means the Mahayana or Hinayana or some teaching or scripture cannot be the vehicle for Buddhism. You yourself are the vehicle for Buddhism.

[23:19]

In this present day and age, you yourself are the vehicle of Buddhism, as I said last night, the sole possessor of Buddha's teaching. If not you, who else? And you must teach yourself. All the schools of Buddhism try to derive their authority from saying, this is Buddha's most intimate teaching. This is what he was really saying to himself, not to others. There was no object of his teaching. The Lotus Sutra, Avantamsaka Sutra, or in Shingon, it's a sutra which Buddha supposedly said to himself before he was born. They tried to outdo everyone. It's an interesting idea, though. Maybe so. But for Zen, we just sit as Buddha sat. And the teaching arises of itself. Our Buddha nature comes out when we don't even have to tell ourselves something.

[24:50]

So, although I can say Buddhism doesn't exist, it does suggest to us spheres of practice, spheres of man, not God, of oneness, of the patriarchs. So the first, I'm going back again. So anyway, I'm now suggesting, describing how we in Buddhism suggest these spheres in which you practice, not so much what you, the specific practices, but the realm of practice. So this Buddhist life and your relationship with a teacher,

[25:59]

is to suggest the fruitful spheres of practice. Now I've divided Buddhist teaching up into three categories and a fourth in the past. Survival or precepts and Zazen or Jhana or Samadhi and service or compassion.

[26:59]

Compassion, it's very difficult to describe this as a realm of practice, but it means maybe doing things in accord with what supports others, in accordance with what supports others, or in accordance with the purposes of others. fulfilling the purposes of others. And then the fourth is lineage or wisdom or the robe or patriarchs or you as a vehicle for Buddhism. So the first

[28:05]

realization may necessarily be that you must be a vehicle for Buddhism. Now, Buddhism is a wonderful teaching. I think so, obviously. We think so. And this fourth, to be a Buddhist, there's no necessity to be a vehicle for Buddhism. If you're a vehicle for Buddhism, though, then all these change. For instance, survival or precepts no longer is

[29:15]

just how to survive, but how Buddhism survives. How you make each person realize their Buddha nature. So first is, so anyway, so I think it's useful to understand Buddhism from this more esoteric or initiation side. Because whether we like it or not, that's what we're involved in. And whether you realize it completely or partly in this life, it's not so important. Because our practice doesn't exist in time and space.

[30:19]

in the usual sense for instance it's not AD 1974 Christ didn't come once or something like that and it doesn't make any difference whether we consider all of us together the Bodhisattva or each of you individually the Bodhisattva or the Bodhisattva existing over many Eons. So first, we may have many insights or satori or kensho experiences. I think

[31:48]

you have such experiences and some of you don't know it but you have such experience. It's not always some big deal. It's just suddenly you're able to do something in your actions differently. What were problems are no longer Maybe it occurred in your sleep. But it's not an it, you know. It's not something existing in time and space. But real realization comes maybe first when you realize you must be a vehicle for Buddhism. In Buddhist terms, this is anyway, realization. and then second is becoming that vehicle, becoming the teachings themselves, becoming a living Buddha. So it means in each thing you do,

[33:14]

you know, to put it in simple terms, it means finding, existing in that mudra in which enlightenment arises or joy arises, not honesty or naturalness or something like that. So, for instance, Our speech is in accord with what makes enlightenment arise or joy arise. Our speech is not necessarily in accord with what we happen to think was the exact replica or the exact description of the event. I don't mean that you should describe things inaccurately hoping joy arises with lots of white lies or something. I don't know how to describe it exactly, but when you look at anything, you can't describe anything accurately. And if you describe things to please people, that doesn't help anything or cause joy to arise. But what we say, the practice of our speech,

[34:40]

Practice of speech exists in two realms. One, what we might call the realm of intimacy, and another the realm of action or deed. And the realm of intimacy is zazen, or you yourself, or voidness. And realm of deed is what to avoid, or the precepts. Realm of intimacy is how to meet everything. Realm of deed is how to not create entanglements. It's something different, you know, slightly, in how we realize it. Or one is containment. and one is expression. So, we have the practice of silence or speech or... Anyway, the practice of body, speech and mind exist in these two realms of action and intimacy. What your mind is, what your body is, to itself, you know,

[36:08]

And again, all Buddhist practice, it's not philosophy what I'm talking about, is in the immediacy of our intimacy and activity. This is a something of a side, an aside, but I just wanted you to reflect on Sosan's The Third Patriarch poem that we have been talking about the first stanza or two, which begins, the real way is not difficult, only no discrimination, is entitled or translated often on faith in mind or on believing in mind. But it can be translated also as believed in heart.

[37:34]

Now, it's interesting also to reflect on why Japan and China, there is one word for mind and heart. And in your practice, you of course will see that your breathing changes as your mind changes, and your mind changes as your breathing changes, but also your breathing changes as your heart changes, and your heart changes as your mind changes. It's obvious when you get anxious, your heart starts to pound. So mind and, anyway, heart and mind are One, what do we mean? Do we mean the physical organ or do you mean some vapors in the chest? What is our heart? Heartburn? There's some song, popular song of some years ago, Wind Around My Heart. Something like that. Do you remember? Anyway, some vapors or some ephemeral thing.

[38:55]

And then there's your stomach, or hara, which doesn't change so much in relationship to your breathing, your mind, and your heart. But when it does change, the changes last longer. If your stomach gets upset, it stays upset, and you don't digest properly, et cetera. But if your mind is upset and your heart starts pumping, When your mind is calm, your heart stops, but your stomach doesn't stop. So your stomach is more stable, in a way. So we put, of these four organs, brain and heart and lungs and stomach, we put our strength in our stomach and our attention on our mind-heart breathing. And you'll find just there is intimacy in this, physical intimacy in it. So finally you know the correlation or the mutual existence of mind, heart, lungs, and stomach in everything you do. It's actual existence in your actions.

[40:21]

And it's such a, it's as real as your skin or bones. So we can say bleed in heart is rather interesting. This isn't the same as Buddha nature maybe, but, and our practice begins, really begins when you have a sureness about Buddha nature. It doesn't mean soul or something. But just to see and trust the wind of your own heart and mind and lungs and stomach. If you're intimate with this and not hiding it because of your ego activity, you begin to have some path.

[41:40]

So there's speech in containment or intimacy, which we can't say just is mind, but some communication, internal communication. And there's speaking from our heart or speaking. from our mind or logic and there's how that is that speaking accords with others and affects others and to know intimately what arises in others when you speak so to find the mudra of speech is to be a teacher or to have your voice able to penetrate. It means something imperturbable, something without equivocation. Your body exists without equivocation, your life exists without equivocation, your mind exists without equivocation.

[43:34]

This is defined the mudra of body, speech, and mind, which seals. So when you are acknowledged by your teacher, you're sealed. Your activity is sealed. So vows then have some much deeper meaning. How to find our complete form? through vows, through the practice of body, speech and mind, in intimacy and in deeds, which makes us a vehicle of Buddhism, which makes us Buddha. So in our, say, speech practice, when we would call your speech a vehicle for Buddhism, it means that joy arises from our speaking because it's free from attachments, free from harming.

[45:05]

Free from creating. It disappears. There's some joy in this freedom. Free from effort. And our mind as I've said before, is characterized by it only thinks what is possible. And it is in accord with phenomena, the intelligence of phenomena and the mind of others. And so joy arises. at this freedom from entanglements. And maybe yesterday there's a similar correlation to taking refuge in that which is in front of us. That when our

[46:33]

body takes that form on each moment in which joy arises, then our body supports, our mudra supports heaven and earth, past and future, and is not going anywhere. So transmission means you have made that step to being a vehicle for Buddhism. Maybe imperfect vehicle, but you're no longer... I don't know what to say, but you're no longer...

[47:55]

Anyway, you're no longer what you were. Your mudra is in effect, or your vows are in effect. So you don't make decisions anymore. Decisions are made like wave follows wave, wave leads wave. it's not something unusual or special maybe it comes from at some point realizing our obligation gratitude to our teacher and our patriarchs and to all beings who ultimately want this kind of freedom

[48:58]

that form, that completeness in which joy arises, not entanglements. So precepts then are a kind of description of this mudra in our activity. Completely you don't possess anything. Completely you don't kill anything. Completely you don't lie to yourself or to others. So the precepts in the koan system are the last and most difficult. So we take the precepts when we receive each initiation. And over many years you'll come to realize their deep reality.

[50:26]

Some questions? Okay. You talked about what you enjoy. You talked about what you didn't enjoy in practice. dark joy doesn't seem to That'll be my autobiography. Joy isn't something you evoke. It's something that characterizes completeness. Or, as I said the other night, when you

[52:13]

Stop avoiding things. The pain in your legs. You feel like you've come home. That kind of feeling, I mean. Utter darkness means really no discrimination. This is just a half-lit world. then it's some delusion that we think we have some control over. When you realize how completely we live in the dark, you relax and act in the dark. When you realize we don't know where we are or what we're doing, then you can give yourself over to the precepts, to the refuges, to becoming a vehicle for Buddhism, for that dark, for that stream of blood that flows in utter darkness.

[53:20]

In utter darkness, there's not even joy. But if something arises, there's joy. I like utter darkness because it's almost something we can get a feel for, you know? In most of Buddhism, unless you know it, you don't have any way to sense it. But utter darkness is a phrase which is useful. It's like if suddenly all the lights were out in this room and the sky was out.

[55:12]

dark. The intimacy we'd feel without being able to think about things, the sense, the sharpness of our senses that we'd have, having to feel out what's happening, is more like practice. And in this way, it's realm, it's not important whether the light's on or off. As you know the famous story of blowing the candle out. It's dark out here so he gives his disciple or the visiting monk a candle and as soon as he takes it he blows it out. Yes.

[56:31]

There seems to be actually a big gap between the two. You know what I mean? But it still gives existence. Oh, because you think it's something... but it still exists. I understand. That's like the way they teach.

[57:04]

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