Good afternoon. So I think I'll just jump in where we left off. And I have a little bit more to say about you are not it, but actually it is you. Although, maybe we should just stay there for the next ten kalpas. I did want to repeat that thing about seeing and hearing and objects of seeing and hearing, because I kind of threw that in at the end, and I think there's a way to work with that. So I wanted to just say it again, and it may not work for all of you, but for those of you who find that useful, I think it's a way to work with this relationship of, we could say subject and object, self and other, form and reflection beholding each other.

[01:03]

So again, what Hong just said, the deep source transparent down to the bottom, and maybe for deep source we could just say suchness or the dharma of suchness. It can radiantly shine and can respond unencumbered to each speck of dust without becoming its partner. Something about this line, to respond to dust is kind of Zen slang for objects, for the world of objects. So to actually, and also the whole world of the particular, all of the things in our life, how do we find the ability to respond but not be encumbered by our attachments, whether it's the attachment of attraction or aversion? How can we not be encumbered by that, not get caught up in it, not be its partner?

[02:04]

And I have to say sometimes that happens actually, and sometimes responding means we get caught up, we become partners with the dust, with what we see or what others show us, how this interrelationship and Again, Hongshou puts it in terms of the senses, but it's also there in terms of our thoughts. We think and what we think is this world of thought objects. And it's very easy to become encumbered by that and to become its partner. We think that we are what we think. We don't usually so often think that we are what we smell or taste, but we kind of get latched on to our thinking, we think we should get rid of our thinking, or we think we should have some better kind of thinking, or anyway. So this relationship between our faculty of seeing and hearing, or thinking, and then these objects, the colors and sounds and thoughts, there's a subtlety in this that maybe we can only actually pay attention to

[03:20]

when we're spending the day sitting. It's an opportunity to actually look in that kind of detail at our experience. And yet it's somehow I feel it's in this place of form and reflection of this is me and out there is whatever, other people, other things, the wall. and yet I am not it, it actually is me. So the first way that Hongzhe says it is the subtlety of seeing and hearing transcends mere colors and sounds. So we can all do that. We can listen to sounds and we can be in the listening and not get caught up in the particular sound of the heater or of somebody walking upstairs or whatever. Just to be present with listening, just to be present with seeing the wood floor in front of me, just to be present with thinking, activity, going on somewhere, wherever that is, in your head or on the wall.

[04:37]

When we get into that subtlety of seeing and hearing, when we're really present and upright and breathing in it, he says the whole affair functions without leaving traces and mirrors without obscurations. We actually are right there with the mirror. Just seeing, just hearing, just thinking, just sitting. And minds and mind objects can harmonize. So that's one side. Maybe that's you are the side of you are not it. Then at the end, and this is again at the beginning of this right, this writing by Hongshu when he's talking about. Brushing away all the tendencies we have fabricated into apparent habits, letting go of the ways we're caught by our thinking. Then, towards the end, when he's talking about, with the hundred grass tips in the busy marketplace, graciously share yourself.

[05:49]

This is, again, how we each take care of this experience we each have, as Zazen people, of this reality, this dharma of things as it is. We each have this relationship to being present, feeling our body and our breath, seeing the wall, hearing sounds, in this way that's pretty unique, that's not part of the usual educational curriculum. And yet we have this possibility. So he says, with 100 grass tips in the busy marketplace, graciously share yourself. Wide, open, and accessible. This is the side of it actually is you. When we are willing to hear and see, what others bring to us when we're willing to take that on as us. Wide open and accessible, just going along.

[06:52]

Casually mount the sounds and straddle the colors. Really take on these objects, sounds, and colors, and transcend listening and surpass watching. So in some ways, it is the same as the first one. This is subtle, and I don't know how to talk about this. get it into words, but I feel there's a turning here that has to do with this jade machine revolving. So the second one is, the first one again is, subtlety of seeing and hearing transcends mere colors and sounds. And here he says, casually mount the sounds and straddle the colors while you transcend listening, or go beyond listening and surpass watching. Just that sound. There's no one here carrying myself forward onto that. So that's the side of, well, both have you are not it.

[07:54]

Both have it actually is you in them. So again, I'm not sure if this is useful to you. And if it's not, forget it. But there's a way in which this is one way to get into this dynamic of the chain machine resolving. So listening. Sound is a traditional meditation object. And we can do the same with seeing, and we can do the same with thinking. Can we just be there, thoughts whizzing away, without getting caught up in the thoughts? There's a part of settling into just sitting that is, OK, just thinking. There's thoughts going on. We don't have to get caught up in them. How how does if this is useful to you is a way of actually studying this process. Please try it on. See if it can be informative in your Zaza. Another way of talking about this form and reflection.

[08:56]

Behold each other. You are not it. But in truth, it is you. Commentary by Dogen. He says to carry the self forward and experience myriad things is delusion. In Genji Koan, that's you are not it. So. We have to hear that it's painful sometimes to hear that the world is not. Our ideas of reality, our ideas of how things should be. You are not it. And yet. Our human delusive reality is that we are doing this all the time. We are carrying forward this you, this self, this me, onto things and seeing things in terms of that. And it's not that that's bad. Again, it's not about getting rid of delusion and getting a hold of enlightenment.

[09:58]

But just to see that, that we do that, is the practice. You are not it. to carry yourself forward and experience myriad things is not reality. And yet we do that. The other side is that the myriad things come forth and experience themselves. A token says that's awakening. This is the side of. Actually, it all of the it's is you. Everything comes forth, our experience moment after moment, and maybe it doesn't matter if we're if we're focusing on seeing or focusing on the colors, you know, maybe either way we can see the dynamics of this. You are not it, but actually it is you. So we don't have to try. This isn't about getting a hold of one side or the other. It's seeing this. And this is in the Jewel Mirror Samadhi because the Jewel Mirror Samadhi, again, in part, is about this.

[11:00]

In this jewel mirror, seeing how the whole show, the whole works, the whole absolute ultimate of reality is in each thing, each sound, each color. And really appreciating each situation as an opportunity to express and explore and face our wholeness. So this dynamic of form and reflection is one place we can dive into this dual mirror samadhi of zazen and explore a little. But I want to mention two or three others, two or three other places in this text that, again, these are just, in some sense, available facilities. It's not that there's one right way for you to sit zazen.

[12:05]

Just sitting, my own feeling anyway about just sitting is that it's not this narrow, limited, prescribed thing where we're just sitting and we're not doing anything else. Just sitting includes, can include many practices, can include many particular ways of helping ourselves to see what it is that we are doing as we sit here. Again, the practice is about One part of it is just realizing ourself, enjoying ourself, feeling the spaciousness of the situation we're in. And, you know, including the silliness of the situation we're in. And the sadness of it. And not getting caught anywhere. And yet all of this is a process. And we do get caught. And it's okay to get caught. And it's okay to be silly. And it's okay to be serious if that's what you like. Here we are. How do we explore the whole in this situation?

[13:10]

So Dongshan goes on to say that there are various teachings and various approaches. They're sudden and gradual and so forth. And each has its guiding rules. Each has its standards. But whether we reach these teachings and approaches, whether we master them or not, Reality constantly flows. So the world is turning, our planet is turning, and the sun forms different patterns on the floor. We face the wall, form and reflection, and we are not it. So there is this reality of suchness, that totally is us. Anyway, it's constantly flowing, despite our ideas about it, despite our wonderful practices of seeing it.

[14:14]

There is this constant flow of reality. And part of that, I'm going to jump a leap to the very end of this, just doing just being able to continue in this practice is the Zen slang, the host within the host. It just means the total mastery. So there may be some period of zazen where you actually feel this continuousness of attention, where you're able to stay present with watching this dynamic of form and reflection, of you and the wall, of sounds and sound objects and so forth. Total mastery, in a way, so I'm going to go back in this to say that you don't have to feel like a zen failure just because you can't do this.

[15:23]

But the point of our practice is how can we try to, how can we do our best to continue? So my own opinion is that everyday practice is more important than Seshing. Sustaining this kind of regular connection with this space of this dynamic of meeting suchness and caring for suchness, that's our job as Zen students. How do we sustain this practice? How do we, you know, make this practice available for others? How do we share this? How do we express it in our lives? Each of us has many ways in which we express our own particular creativity and interests and caring in the world. And the point of this zazen is simply that we touch this source, this deep

[16:30]

possibility of meeting suchness or suchness meeting us. So it's not about having some particular experience or some particular understanding. How can we sustain this? Of course, doing sushis may help us dive deeper into it. And part of continuing is this continuous unfolding. But again, the last line says, just being able to continue is The master of masters is the host within the host. And I want to mention it now, kind of at the beginning, even though it's the end, because it relates to this fact that reality constantly flows. So this means we can do it. Sounds continue. Thoughts continue. our ability to sit upright in whatever way we can and face what appears before us.

[17:37]

It's there anyway. Suchness is in our face. And can we attend to it? Can we stick with it? And of course, sometimes, realistically, As human-type beings, we need to take a break. We need to, you know, take a nap. We need to go for a walk or go to the movies. And, of course, while we're doing those things, there could also be this continuous attention. But if we think that there's some particular kind of continuous attention we need, we can get strained. We can get burnt out. We can feel like, oh, I can't do this. I want to encourage you all to find a way, to find your seat, to find a way of practicing that you can sustain. That's the point. To find a way that you can continue to pay attention to your life and to pay attention to reality constantly flowing. This is the point of this practice, just to continue. Whatever understanding you also might have, that's not so important.

[18:46]

So maybe I'll come back to that, but I wanted to mention a few other specific practice tips in here. And maybe it's too much to talk about all these in one Dharma talk. I don't know. So again, take what you can use and just forget the rest. Try things out. finding the way to sustain and continue your Zazen is about having a kind of experimental attitude towards it. What's Zazen for me? And, you know, maybe something that really worked for you at the last session and just, you know, it's, can't see it or it doesn't work, doesn't make it this time, whatever. Or some wonderful Zazen we had last week, it just, you know, is irrelevant to right now. How can you pay attention to being present in a way that supports you to be present?

[19:53]

So to me, all of these different ways of seeing it, all of these different, you might call them techniques. They're not techniques in the sense of getting to some particular place. They're just ways of continuing our attention. How can you find the way of continuing your attention that's interesting for you? How can you immerse yourself? How can you get into the process and treasure the roads and so forth? How can you feel? We each have our relationship to suchness. How do we how do we enjoy that? So there's this part of the of this song where he says. Outside, still on inside, trembling like tethered colts or cowering rats, well, Maybe, if you've said, maybe all of us who've experienced Zazen can relate to that, you know. We may be sitting very still on the outside and inside there's all kinds of stuff going on and we're, you know, cowering rats or tethered kuls.

[21:02]

So, I don't know, it's kind of encouraging that Dongshan would talk about this too, you know, our great ancestor. So, if you're, if you feel like a cowering rat sometimes in Zazen, you know, you're not alone. But then he talks about the process of meeting that. Because we are caught up in feeling confined and trapped rather than free in our Zazen, the ancient sages, Dongshan, and he had ancient sages before him. And we're the ancient sages for the people of Clouds and Water in 100 years, each of you. Anyway, the ancient sages grieved about this and offered the Dharma. So this is the Dharma of Sushnus. We all have this opportunity of meeting Sushnus. But we have inverted views. We take black for white. We get topsy-turvy. This is, again, our human world of carrying ourself forward and seeing the world in terms of this self we've

[22:11]

that we've invented that has been conditioned by our society, by our parents, by whatever situations we had to get through to get through adolescence and so forth. We have this more or less adult, more or less ego. And it's built on inverted views. We think that we're part of this tribe and they're part of that tribe. We see separation in everything. conflict and competition rather than connection. This is a basic part of the inverted views of human beings. So we build walls, we think those people are foreigners, we can't let them in. We all do this. This is our human life. And yet, this Dharma is about kind of readjusting that, allowing this upside down thinking to settle and being willing to meet each other, just eyes, horizontal nose, vertical.

[23:38]

Here we are together, each of us exploring and expressing this reality of suchness. I mentioned this line last night but I want to talk about it a little bit more again today. The translation I use says, the affirming mind naturally accords when inverted thinking stops. I think yours has the acquiescent heart realizes itself. But this is another one of those lines that has a lot of different meanings and I wanted to say something about it because I think they're useful in terms of our practice. um, acquiescent heart. This is shin, which means both mind and heart. So the, this character that is, that is can be translated as acquiescent or affirming or accepting. It's the mind that in heart that takes on something that takes on being ourselves. So this affirming heart, this,

[24:42]

Not passively accepting, it's an act of acceptance. It's actually taking on, okay, I'm willing to meet the situation. I'm willing to look at how I'm taking care of suchness, how suchness is me and I'm not it. When that, with that, your translation says it realizes itself. Well, the character that means self also can be read as naturally on its own spontaneously. So. In this case, the. I prefer the translation, not that not that either any of them are wrong, but the affirming or accepting or actively accepting, acquiescing. My heart, my naturally. Accords naturally. Allows. ourselves to be here. Naturally, it permits this whole process of suchness. That character also means to forgive.

[25:45]

So part of what this affirming acquiescent heart does is naturally to forgive ourselves and each other. This is important. We have to forgive ourselves for being deluded human beings before we can practice. We have to forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We have to forgive all of the subtle ways in which we can be self-centered and project ourself onto things. And this character also has the meaning of vow. We vow to, so it's, you know, some of these Chinese characters are complex. And I kind of feel like in this kind of poetry, all of the meanings are there. We can have some resolve naturally to bring forth this affirming, accepting, actively accepting, taking on kind of heart-mind.

[26:48]

This is what happens when we allow our confused, self-centered, self-projecting mind to settle. Just allow that to settle. So this affirming mind is a quality of this teaching or dharma or reality of suchness that we all already have again. It's there. All of us have this capacity to meet the situation, to accept it, to not see division but to see complementariness, to see You know, each person in this room now has his or her own way of seeing and expressing this truth of suchness. How can we carry forth this accepting heart and forgive each other for being deluded human beings and then bring forth something that is

[28:01]

this dynamic dance of suchness together. This is the challenge of Sangha. How do we harmonize all of these affirming, forgiving heartlines? How do we find accord? So last night, somebody asked about this line about a hair's breadth deviation, and you were out of tune. And this is, in a way, the response to that. Yeah, we are all a little bit out of tune. always are losing our balance against this background of the universal, of perfect balance. And yet it is possible to bring forth this affirming heart-mind. So that's really good news, just like the news that you already have this. This is something we can do, but the challenge of our practice is to just face the reality, both sides of the reality, the reality that you are not it, And we keep wanting me to be it.

[29:04]

We keep wanting to project ourselves onto reality and make it fit our idea of things. And the reality that actually it is you. And everything that anybody says to you is part of you. And you have to digest it and how to hold that and how to take care of it. What's difficult about doing, about being able to do this continuously, sometimes it's just, it's painful. Sometimes it's just tiresome. Sometimes it's, anyway, we can get burnt out if we try and hold on too tight, or if we try it, or if we turn away. So again, it's about finding that space where we're not turning away from suchness in front of us, and yet we're not trying to grab a hold of it either. Can we find our balanced breath and uprightness in this situation of suchness?

[30:08]

So I want to give some time for discussion. And there's so many more lines in this that I want to talk about. But maybe I'll just say a little bit about something I just mentioned last night. right after this business of the affirming mind, naturally according, naturally forgiving and accepting itself. If you want to follow in the ancient tracks, please observe the sages of the past. And then he mentions this reference to a Buddha described in the Lotus Sutra and the Flower Ornament Sutra. And this Buddha, right on the verge of totally realizing the Buddha way, of totally accomplishing full Buddhahood, sat under the Bodhi tree, gazing at the tree or contemplating this tree. They didn't sit facing a wall, they sat facing trees. wooden walls or wooden floors or anyways.

[31:31]

This changed in China when they started having zentos. Anyway, can we just be on this edge of totally, fully expressing and completely embodying the total buddhaness of suchness right now? And, you know, Getting it's a little too much, but turning away is not it either. Can we, you know, instead of enlightenment, sit in inversion, just be right on that edge of, right on that verge of a really wonderful breath. And then there's some breaths that, well, you know, we don't even notice. Okay. How can we, You know, part of this form and reflection beholding each other is, there's a kind of edge there. There's a kind of, you know, we can almost understand this sometimes.

[32:38]

We can almost hear what it means that now you have it. We can almost say, oh yeah, preserve it well. I can do that. I can take care of it the best I can anyway. sometimes, on good days. Well, actually, every day is a good day, some old Zen guy said. So there are various edges in here, but I think being willing to put yourself on that edge of not quite getting it, and yet here you are. You are not it, and yet it actually is you. And suchness is always right in front of us. or right underneath our cushion or chair floating around us, available. How do we continue to take care of this and continue to take care of this opportunity to meet this dynamic of the reality of our lives and practice?

[33:43]

How do we continue to make that available to others? How do we continue to express that in all kinds of ways and for the world, and the world really needs it. The world's a big mess these days. I don't believe you've all noticed. Maybe it's always been that way. It's even more so. So, how do, what do we do? And it's not enough to just take care of clouds and water, actually. Because, you know, the, I don't know, whether in California we've got earthquakes and New Orleans and the Gulf Coast they've got I don't know what happens here when things get really, when the climate gets... Tornadoes? Lizards? Floods? You get floods too? The river floods? Okay. So, you know, the planet itself is crying, you know. What do we do about our corrupt government and all of that? And the wars?

[34:45]

You know, anyway, there's a lot of problems. And it doesn't mean that each of you has to figure out what to do, but somehow our effort to be upright and to not turn away makes a difference. I really believe this. This is a really excellent, wonderful time to be doing Bodhisattva practice. Can we continue to pay attention in this way to the confusion in our own heart, minds, and in the world around us. And our efforts to do that really makes a difference now. It's important. The world needs each of you. So there's more, there are more wonderful little tidbits in this Jewel Mary Samadhi song. But I think I'll pause now and if you want to ask about some of the other lines you can or anything else that has come up for you and listening to my daughter babble.

[35:48]

Yes, Chris. That's touching. Right. So, excellent. That was a wonderful description of this process. And I think the point is to keep asking the question, what is it? What is reality? without caring about getting an answer.

[36:48]

The point of the question is not that you get some answer. The point of the question is, can you keep looking at the suchness in front of you? So the question is really important. This inquiring impulse, this pivotal moment, this arrival of energy, and there's some response. But the response isn't that you have some understanding of it and you're done with the question. Another way to talk about this, can you continuously live in the midst of question? It's okay to have a question. In fact, it's part of how we're alive. We don't know what to do. We don't know how to take care of suchness. And yet, part of taking care of suchness, maybe all of taking care of suchness, is being willing to have this question. What is it? What's in front of us? How do I live my life? How can I respond to this? There are many ways of asking the question.

[37:51]

The question may shift. The point isn't to get an answer. The point is to be willing to live in that dynamic where we're paying attention. So attention is a question. We're looking at what it is. To actually be interested and curious about what's happening. What is it? And not to need to, so, you know, giving up on questioning is turning away. Trying to get an answer is touching, trying to grab a hold of it. But just to find that space where we can be poised just on this edge of being right in question. This is what we call in Buddhism faith. To actually be willing to live with the question of not knowing some answer to what it is I'm supposed to be doing, what is the right answer, what is how to take care of clouds and water, whatever it is.

[38:53]

It's not that there's one right answer, it's the practice of uprightness is to just, this continuity, this continuous, this ability to be continuously attentive is about being willing to live in the world of questions. Sometimes you may not have a question, and that's okay. New ones will come up with new situations. The point of question isn't to get rid of the question. If you're trying to get an answer to your question, then you're kind of turning away from the question. But if you're willing to sit in the middle of it, we can talk about it. We can turn the question. And maybe an answer comes up, but then there's new questions. That's actually the dynamic of being alive and preserving well this reality where you're not it, but actually it's you.

[39:57]

So congratulations for your question. Sasan. I was interested in what you had to say about the outreach going into the trembling of colored I heard it like that, but I thought, well, it doesn't seem right to involve us. Sometimes I feel grateful.

[40:59]

Sometimes I feel insulted. So I wonder, is that right? You feel insulted because of the ancient sages, or? I'm sorry. Yeah, because I'm the common grad. Oh. And I'm a common grad. Do you guys chant the Ehekosahotsugamon? OK, but you have it in your chant book. You might look at that because he talks about that there. He says, I forget exactly, but Buddhas and ancestors were the same as we in the future. We shall be Buddhas and ancestors, whether or not you're, you know, a lay person or a priest or a dharma transmission or if you if you haven't been lay ordained or if you have just the fact that you're here, you are sons and daughters of Buddha. You are turning towards Buddha and you are keeping alive this. So those names we chant, you know, of all the, you know, when we don't have all of the right names, maybe especially in India, but those names in each generation, there was not just one person, but many people keeping alive this possibility of meeting suchness.

[42:15]

And we're doing this here. And we don't know how to do it. And we're in this, you know, really different culture. I mean, it was a big jump from India to China. This is even bigger. We don't know how to do this. There's all kinds of experimentation going on all over, you know, America about how to do Zen, how to do Soto Zen. And it's not, you know, in a hundred years we'll know what works. But that's living in question. our efforts, our mistakes are part of what is keeping this alive for people in 100 years. So yeah, congratulations. Matt. And it just occurs to me now, what if that person is one of the ancient saviors?

[43:30]

Of course. Of course. Of course he is. Why was Dogen just completely kicked out of help somehow to sustain Dharma? Of course. Just because he gave Dogen an opportunity to rant and be nasty. You know, just because it's Dogen, we don't have to agree with everything he said. I've translated lots of Dogon. Some of it I like and some of it, OK. So we don't have to have some precious attitude about the ancient sages either. They made mistakes too. But in that case, I don't know, maybe he was right to do that. The point is he was doing that to make some statement to the other students. And as I recall that situation, it was that that particular student kind of after Dogen had asked him not to, went to the Lord in Kamakura and tried to get some favor for their monastery or something. It was something like that.

[44:31]

It was that kind of thing. And Dogen was just really upset because he told him not to. And here he was, you know, trying to depend on some fancy Lord. Anyway, most Buddhist monasteries and temples depend on the benefactors and It's okay to have benefactors, but how we approach them is important, too. Can you trust yourself to live in question? Anyway, again, in each generation, many people were doing what each of you is doing. Yes, Tom. It's exactly the opposite of what you just said. The thing was, we're having these ideas actually about things that were really probably imaginary. And thinking that they were true, even though there was no evidence of reality.

[45:31]

The whole point of that is that that is, it was almost as simple as, now you have that preserved above, and what you're preserving is, Yeah, there's lots of realities and all of them are reality. But yeah, faith is not, I think, our usual, you know, to translate and use these words that are used in Western religious context, it's tricky. So the word faith. I like to use that one, though, because just to make the point that for us, faith is not having some item of belief. Believing that every word that Dogen ever said, every fart he made was holy or something like that, that that we don't have to hold on to that as some item of belief, that faith is actually our living the questions.

[46:41]

That's a real different attitude. It's not taking something on faith. I think some of the events in Christianity go on. Yes, absolutely. So just like there's misunderstandings of Christianity that we all inherited, there's misunderstandings of Buddhism that turn off people in Asian cultures now. So there's no teaching is immune from our confusion. At any rate, being in question is, I think, being actually present and attentive in the midst of question is what faith, I think, is about. Yes? an individual relationship with such and such women, two or three or four people, you know, and it gets even more complicated than how a group or community of any kind or sponsor is able to hold that moment of being present.

[48:15]

How do you see the role of the teacher and the function of the curriculum? Okay, well there were several huge questions there. Well, tell me if I got this right. One part of the question was just that for one person to be in the midst of question is pretty complicated. For one person to be facing reality and seeing that I'm not it, but it is me. What happens when we get together you know, and have however many, 20 people or whatever together, and we're all doing that in our own way, and how do we do it together? And it's, you know, big, big question. That's one part of it. And I have some things I want to, I could say about that. And then the other question was, what's the role of a teacher in that?

[49:21]

Does that kind of get it? Oh, wow. So, yeah, so sangha. is the third jewel. I can talk about this because I was just teaching last weekend in Chicago with my group there about Sangha. And A. A. Shingyi Dogen is teaching about that. Part of what Sangha is, is that it's a jewel. It's the third jewel, like the Buddha and the Dharma. So we've been talking about Buddha in various ways. We've been talking about this Dharma of the teaching a reality. Sangha is about harmony. How do we harmonize all of these different questions sitting on all these different cushions and chairs, you know? And it's again an endless process and part of it is to live in question, not to try and pin it down and define it and resolve all the questions.

[50:26]

How can we hear each other's truths, each other's version of suchness? How can we share that together and express it and really appreciate each person's individual particular expression of suchness? So compassion in Buddhism is about. Listening about appreciating diversity. So. It's one of the things I noticed when I started practicing at San Francisco Zen Center, I'd started with a small group, smaller than this in New York, kind of informal group, but with a good Japanese priest teacher. But when I started practicing at Zen Center, I noticed that the really senior people were very much themselves. And then there was some feeling because there was this big group and there was this pressure about it that the rest, the middle group of people were all kind of

[51:28]

you know, kind of trying to be, seem to be very much alike in some way. But the mature people are very much themselves. Sangha is about allowing each person to be, to have your own particularness, your own peculiarity. Each of you is a wonderful demonstration of expressing suchness. So how do we do that together and listen to each, to the differences? and appreciate them and really respect the particularities. This is the job of the endless job of harmonizing that Sangha is about. Matt talked about this guy who Dogen threw out of this community. It's another part of Sangha is that, you know, our job isn't necessarily to be nice or follow the rules as members of Sangha. So in Dogen's writing for the temple administrators, he has many stories of people he considers exemplary tenzos and directors and enos and so forth, work leaders.

[52:40]

And in a lot of the stories, a number of the stories anyway, the person he's praising as the greatest tenzo was somebody who got kicked out of the temple. There was a guy who The abbot was really kind of severe, very severe and strict. And the monks were really suffering with a, you know, very, very watery, you know, maybe a grain or two of rice in their rice water. And one time the teacher left and this tenzo went in and stole some rice from the storehouse. And he was because he was concerned about how the monks were doing. And the teacher came back right away and, of course, sat down to the meal and knew it, and called the Tenzo in right afterwards and said, did you steal this special rice? And he said, yes, I did. Please punish me. And anyway, he was kicked out of the temple. And he wasn't allowed to come back for a long time. But eventually, this guy succeeded to that teacher.

[53:43]

And he's the guy in the Rinzai lineage who kept alive the Soto tradition when there was a break. Taiyo Kyogen Daisho died before... He lived too long and he died after all of his students and there was nobody to continue it. And so he... But this guy, Fushan, transmitted for Taiyo... He was already a Rinzai master, but he transmitted for Taiyo to Tosogise Daisho, who never met Taiyo Kyogen, even though we say their names in a row. Anyway, that's just one story. There's other stories about Inos and directors and so forth who... Dogen praises, because of their determination to keep studying the question, they really cared about this question. There was the guy who, I mentioned Dao Wu, Yun Yan's brother. One time Dao Wu went to, I'm sorry you started me off on all these old stories. One time Dao Wu went to do a funeral service for one of his parishioners and his, I think it was the director, went with him.

[54:48]

this director really had this big problem about life and death. This is the great matter. They were there and the director pounded on the coffin and said, alive or dead? He really needed to know. That was it. I won't say alive, I won't say dead. The director wouldn't take that for an answer and they left. Finally, the director went and grabbed his teacher and said, you better tell me or I'm going to beat you up. And Da Wu said, I won't say alive, I won't say dead. And he beat him up. And then the teacher said, it's OK, I don't care, but you better not come back to the temple because the other students are going to be really angry with you. So he left. And then he went to see another teacher and he told the story. And the other teacher said, didn't you hear? Da Wu said, I won't say alive, I won't say dead. And he got it. But Dogen praises him for the intensity of his questioning.

[55:56]

So Sangha, part of Sangha, is that we provide an opportunity for each one of you to really ask the question, not to get an answer, but just be there right in the middle of your question, to keep questioning. That's one style of practice. It's not the only style of practice. Again, just to continue, quietly, calmly, settling into this dynamic. You know, you don't have to be that wild and intense. It's OK. You don't have to beat up the teacher. But anyway. So it's a big question. I don't have the answer to any of these. I'm just talking up here. So the last part about what is the teacher, what's the teacher's role on Sangha? Well, it's to be like the wall. Yeah. You come in and express something and. You are not him, but he actually is you or her, if it's a woman teacher.

[57:00]

So. No teacher can fix you. Or heal you or tell you how to be Buddha or tell you how to practice with suchness. And yet. The point one one word for teacher You know, we have these fancy ideas of teachers, roshis, and these great exalted beings. One traditional way of talking about teachers is, in Sanskrit, kalyanamitra, spiritual friend. Somebody who has a little more experience and practice. And so if somebody comes in and says, I can't get rid of my thinking mind. I have to give up satsang because my mind, I keep thinking. I can say, you know, that's good. Keep thinking. It's all right, but stay on your cushion. So anyway, the teacher is just to help you keep going in trying to work together to provide each of you an opportunity to express your own way of finding how to take care of it well.

[58:15]

Almost time for temple cleaning. Maybe it's a little past time, but I'll take one more comment or question. Jenny. That's one of my favorite. Hidden practice, functioning secretly. OK, I'll say a little bit about it. It's hard to say a little bit about it. So hidden practice is, you know, all these stories about these old Zen monasteries in China and Japan, and here we are doing this lay practice. Actually, I feel pretty good about American Zen practice, actually. I hate to admit it because it's such a mess, but we have what's called hidden practice. So this is a traditional you know, traditional thing in a sense. The Bodhisattva idea is not about being some fancy, you know, exalted being with lights shooting out of your fingers or anything.

[59:23]

It's just being ordinary being taking care of what's in front of you. And the idea of Bodhisattvas in Japan is just, you know, the grandmother sweeping up the street as the kids go to work, go to school, and just ordinary taking care of things. Hidden practice. So sometimes we talk about practicing under a bridge. There's a long tradition in Zen of somebody finishing their training and then practicing under a bridge. And it means figuratively going into the world and just doing anonymous practice, being in the world. And some of us take on this role of shaving our heads or whatever and wearing fancy robes. All of us in America, unless you're living in a place like Tassajara or some residential community, we're all out there in some way in the world. And how do we do this hidden practice? How do you bring your questioning and engagement with suchness into whatever realm you're in?

[60:28]

This is hidden practice. And there's the story of Daito Kokushi, who I forget what his name was before, but he became the abbot of Daitokuji, this great Rinzai Zen monastic complex. Do you all know the story about the melons? Oh, just one of the great examples. There are many, actually. There's some in America, too, of hidden practice. Daito Kokushi finished his training, and he was hanging out in some hermitage up in the eastern hills of Kyoto. And then he was also hanging out literally under a bridge with the beggars, with the homeless people and the emperor at that time wanted to build this big Rinzai Zen temple complex and he heard about this guy who was, you know, this master was living under a bridge and he wanted to find him but he didn't know, you know, he was totally, you know, just looked like any of the other beggars but he heard that he liked melons. So he sent one of his attendants to try and find him

[61:33]

And he went into the Fifth Street Bridge, the Dojo Dori, where he was hanging out. And the attendant said, I will give this melon to anybody. You will take it without any hands. Poor Daito Kokushi couldn't help himself. And he said, give it to me without any hands. And they knew it was him, and they grabbed him and hauled him away and made him the abbot of the monastery. Poor guy. Anyway, that's the story about hidden factors. Thank you all.

[62:04]

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