Good morning, everyone. Welcome. Welcome to Sashin. This is the third of a three-day Sashin. Sashin means to gather the heart-mind, to meet the heart-mind. So this weekend we're doing that in terms of looking at this practice we do called Zazen. Sazen literally means seated meditation. In the tradition we follow, going back to the Japanese master Dogen in the 13th century and Tsukiroshi who brought it, one version of it to America and so forth, we sometimes call this Shikantaza, just sitting. And Dogen also calls it dropping body and mind. So this practice has a lot to do with letting go.

[01:02]

Just sitting. So we've been looking at what the texture of that is. How do we just sit? In some sense, this practice is not a meditation technique. It's not about getting something. It's about just being present with everything. Each of us in our own particular way, expressing that in our own unique way, on our own cushions. So a story I started with Friday and I want to talk about a little bit more today. The 8th century master Shuto, Sekito Kisen in Japanese, who wrote the Song of the Grass Hut and the Harmony of Difference and Sameness that we chant, was asked once, what is the essential meaning of Buddha Dharma?

[02:13]

What's it all about? And Shuto said, not attaining, not knowing. This is a practice of seeing what is, of radically being yourself, expressing yourself, finding how to express Buddha in your own way, as you are, to just sit with this body and mind, not trying to reach some higher state of being or state of mind or stage of whatever, nothing to attain. So the Heart Sutra says, no attainment with nothing to attain. Already, right now, believe it or not, just as you are, Buddha is sitting there on your cushion, around your cushion.

[03:19]

As I said the other day, six feet underneath your cushion. not attaining, not knowing. This is not a practice of trying to figure out something. This isn't about, you know, trying to understand the essential meaning of Buddhadharma. This is a practice of how do we actually express it in this world? Just understanding it, who cares? How do we relieve suffering, and help awaken all beings? How do we bring insight and compassion, each in our own way, to this difficult situation of the life you happen to be in this week, this lifetime, and the world we live in, with all the corruption and cruelty and so forth?

[04:25]

Not attaining, not knowing, Right now, this body and mind, we sit and we pay attention. What is it like, this body and mind? No attainment and nothing to attain. So, the person who asked this question, who later became himself a well-known teacher, Tianwang Dao, when he heard, not attaining, not knowing, he said, Beyond that, is there any other pivotal point or not? And Shinto said, the wide sky does not obstruct the white clouds drifting. This Buddha heart, this full moon of awakening, even when it's eclipsed as it was, the other morning, returns.

[05:30]

We lose our balance. We come back. We show up in our body and mind and pay attention. What's going on? How is it? How does it feel right now? Can we be open to the greed, hate, and delusion, the confusion, the sadness, the fear, the frustration of your life? right now, and of our world, and also, out of the corner of our eye, taste, sniff the reality of our deep interconnectedness. The whole world is on your cushion right now, the whole world. So the wide sky does not obstruct the clouds drifting by. We talked about this yesterday in terms of the problem of thinking.

[06:34]

Somehow there's this very persistent and very subtle kind of thinking that thinks that the point of all this is to get rid of thinking. That's, you know, a very peculiar kind of thinking. So the wide sky doesn't mind the clouds of thought drifting by. The wide sky is wide and spacious and vast and is not obstructed by the drifting clouds and drifting thoughts. Your Buddha heart-mind When I say your, I don't mean it's something that you have or can get, but it's your own piece of the connection to the wholeness of Buddha Heart Mind. It isn't hampered by the thoughts of all the to-do lists and stuff that you have to do tonight or tomorrow.

[07:42]

the problems of what somebody said to you the other day, or, you know, all of that, all of those clouds drift by. The white sky doesn't turn away from them either. How do we be present in the wholeness of all of it? Right in the middle of thunderstorms. It's still raining out there? Yeah, rain clouds. The wide sky does not obstruct the white clouds drifting. And the white clouds, of course, do not obstruct the white sky. Maybe that goes without saying. The white sky also doesn't mind these clouds of thoughts and feelings and the clouds of war and corruption and all of this stuff going on. It doesn't mean we ignore it. How do we respond to the

[08:47]

problems in our lives. This is what the precepts are about, guidelines to how to be present in this difficult situation without ignoring also this deep reality of interconnectedness. So our just sitting practice is not about reaching some particular stage. It's not about getting anything. Of course, it is transformative just to be present and upright, to find your inner dignity within the realm of the wide sky, along with all the other clouds. This is something we do together when we just are willing to be present and upright. And keep breathing. So there is a kind of awareness that's not about thinking, it's not about not thinking, it's sometimes in our tradition called beyond thinking.

[09:56]

There's a kind of awareness that happens that connects us with everything, but that happens in a particular way in your body and mind. with the pain in your shoulders or knees or confusion in your heart, there's still this. So as I also mentioned yesterday, this poem by Chateau, The Song of the Grass Hut, which we chant sometimes and this weekend, talks about building this grass hut, this space of practice which we have here together in this circle and we do all together and each of you here showing up

[10:59]

for the day, or for this Dharma talk, is contributing to that, is helping everybody else in the room to be here. And So Shrestha says that we should bind grasses to build a hut, put together in the space of our Sangha, of our practice world, of our various Sanghas, of the space of your own cushion. Each of you is sitting on your own. Grass hut. Sabaton. I guess it's actually got Cape Hawk in it, but they used to make seating cushions out of grass, cusha grass. Find grasses to build a hut, and don't give up, he says. Keep at it. And if you forget, oh, when you remember, come back to center. Come back to presence. Come back to uprightness. Take a few minutes during your week. to just be present and upright in sin.

[12:02]

Remember to breathe in the middle of all the busyness of your life, or chant the mantra, the Heart Sutra mantra, or whatever line of the teachings helps you to remember, ah, yes, So one of the largest branches of Buddhism in Asia is about remembering Buddha. Sometimes it's done with a specific chant. But really, this is our practice here, too. We remind Buddha by sitting upright, by being present, by breathing. We recreate the heart and mind of Buddha. This is what saschina is about. This is Nembutsu practice. Remembering, oh yeah, in the midst of everything else, there's this possibility, potentiality, and reality right now of awakeness, awareness.

[13:12]

So we pay attention as we sit. So he said, buying grasses to build a hut and don't give up. Let go of hundreds of years and relax completely. So we talk about dropping body-mind. Of course, body-mind is one thing. We think they're separate. We think our thoughts happen up here in our brain. But maybe you can also be aware in many other senses. We can be aware of the sound of the air conditioning, the sound of rustling in the room, the sound of our own thoughts. How does it feel to be this particular expression of Buddha sitting on your cushion right now?

[14:18]

And can we let go of, that doesn't mean ignore, but let go of all of the entanglements, hundreds of years of karma. Whether you think of that in terms of past lives or just in our culture and in our world. Respecting you. Each of us can think of people who, you know, from a previous century, long dead, who are inspiring to us. That is part of who you are sitting on your cushion right now. Anyway, it says, let go of hundreds of years and relax completely. So this practice as As strange as that may sound, if you come into the room and see a bunch of people sitting like statues or something, or if you're sitting for the day and feel the pain in your back, or your knee or whatever, the pain in your heart, the confusion in our world,

[15:29]

Practice is just to relax completely, believe it or not. How do we let go of the tangled thoughts that we feel on our shoulders? So again, this is sometimes called beyond thinking. And everything I've said so far is a kind of review of, well, just sitting and I've what I've talked about the first two days. But I want to bring it to this issue of the wide sky not obstructing the white clouds drifting, of not attaining, not knowing, of beyond thinking. An old story, yet another old story. This tradition we have to play with, you know, as it applies here now. This is a story about a teacher of several generations after Shito and a couple generations after Yaoshan, who talked about beyond thinking.

[16:38]

His name is Dongshan, or Tozan in Japanese, and he's considered the founder of the Shito lineage in China, Japan, and so forth, here. And so the story itself is quite short. A monk asked Dongshan, among the three Buddha bodies, which one does not fall into any category? Dongshan said, I'm always close to this. That's the story. Dongshan's response could be translated also as, I'm always intimate with this. So I've talked about this before. Some of you have heard me talk about it before. Please indulge me. I like this story. And I'm sure whatever I say today won't be exactly the same thing I said whenever I said it before.

[17:41]

So what's going on here? First of all, this question. Among the three Buddha bodies, which one does not fall into any category? So we talked about just sitting as not being a matter of attaining some stage or of knowing anything. Which Buddha body does not fall into any category? This is an amazing question. So we don't know the name of this monk. I guess he didn't become a famous teacher, but he was quite a Does that add up to ask this question? Among the three Buddha bodies, which one does not fall into any category? I might ask you, amongst all the 3,000 thoughts going through your head right now, which one doesn't fall into any category? It's a trick question, of course, because our usual thinking process is a process of discriminating, of categorizing.

[18:53]

of separating this from that. What in the world does not fall into any category? He didn't ask that, though. He said, among the three Buddha bodies, which one does not fall into any category? Which one does not part of any discrimination? Of any, you know, discernment or... No categories. Which one goes beyond and connects with everything? Which one includes everything in such a way that it does not even sum? There's no category. How can we even... So it's what sentence does not fall into any category.

[19:54]

What word doesn't fall into subject, verb, object? So that's part of the commentary. I'll get to that. But among the three Buddha bodies, which one does not fall into any category? What is it? What kind of thinking is it that actually goes beyond? So these three Buddha bodies, there's a kind of technical aspect of this. In Sanskrit it's called the Trikaya, three Buddha bodies. So these three, first of all there's the body of the historical Buddha, whose image is aloft on our altar. Shakyamuni Buddha, the historical Buddha. So in Sanskrit, nirmanakaya. There will not be a test. You don't have to remember this funny foreign words. But anyway, the historically incarnated Buddha, the nirmanakaya. One example is Shakyamuni Buddha.

[20:56]

And from some points of view in some of Buddhism, we could say, you know, Dogen talks about Zhaozhou as the old Buddha, or Hongzhe as an old Buddha. I would say Dogen is an old Buddha, and Suzuki Roshi maybe. Dilgo Kinsey Rinpoche, great Tibetan Buddha of the last century, for example. So anyway, those are historical people who have incarnated bodies. That's one of the three kinds of bodies of Buddha, the Manakaya. The next one, which I'll come back to, but in some ways the heart of this story, Dharmakaya. Dharmakaya means truth body or reality body. Buddha as the body of everything in the whole universe, not just this planet, fortunately. And sometimes they make images of him. In Nara, there's this huge Buddha, beautiful Buddha. It's the largest bronze statue in the world. And it's in the largest wooden building in the world.

[22:02]

And it's a version of Bhairavachana, the Dharmakaya Buddha, whose name we'll chant in the meal chant at lunchtime. It's the largest bronze statue in the world. Speaking of the problems of history, though, it's smaller than the original one, which was destroyed in a war in the 1100s, and they had to rebuild it. But it's not as large as the first one, built in the 700s. Anyway, sometimes they actually try and depict the Dharmakaya Buddha. Sometimes they do it by putting planets and stars and stuff over his body. Anyway. Dharmakaya is the body of Buddha that's... From one point of view, that would be the obvious answer to the monk's question. Of course, the Dharmakaya Buddha doesn't go beyond any categories because it's everything. So there's this question. Then the third one is Sambhogakaya Buddha. This is literally the bliss body of Buddha. This is the reward body of Buddha.

[23:03]

This refers to cosmic Buddhas who exist in some meditative heavenly realm as a result of difficult practice. And these are important in Buddhist, in Asian Buddhism. and now in American Buddhism too. So Amida Buddha is an example, the Buddha who is chanted to in Pure Land Buddhism. And we have Pure Land Buddhist temples nearby here in Chiba. and this is a kind of Buddha that, from the point of view of Shinran theology, maybe it goes beyond the Sambhogakaya, but at least it starts as the bliss body of Buddha. Okay, that's a little bit about this question. Among the three bodies of Buddha, the monk asked, which one does not fall into any category? I kind of think there's more to this question. Among the three bodies of Buddha, how many bodies of Buddha are on your cushion right now?

[24:05]

Or I could say among the three bodies of Buddha, Nathan and Laurel and Morrow, which one doesn't fall into any category? Anyway, how do we see that which goes beyond all of the discriminations, all of the evaluations, all of the judgments that we make about reality and the world and ourselves. This was the monk's concern. Maybe he was troubled by some of the discriminations and some of the judgments that his mind was spinning around in. So he asked the great master Dongshan, how do I get beyond all that? Where is the Buddha that goes beyond? And Dongshan's response was, I am always close to this.

[25:15]

Or I am always intimate with this. So I feel very close to this story. My Dharma Transmission Rok Su, on the back of it, my teacher, Reb, wrote the Chinese characters. I am always close to this story. You know I like this story. I'm always close to this. What does it mean to always be close to this, to always be intimate with this? And what is the this in the sentence? Maybe the easiest way to read it is, I am always close to this question. or maybe I'm always close to not falling into any category. That's another way to read it. That's not bad. Maybe I respect Dong Shan enough to believe that he was very close to not falling into any category. Very close is very good.

[26:20]

Very close may be better than actually attaining something. Can you get close to it? Whatever it is that you, whatever creative activity you do in your life, can you, you know, if you play a particular musical instrument, can you play a piece that's close to perfect? If you did it perfectly, there's something wrong with that. Maybe. So, as a great American yogi once said, if the world were perfect, it wouldn't be. Maybe he was always close to this also. I'm always close to this. So this phrase, it also means I'm always close, I'm always intimate with this, this situation. Is there a category here? Well, you know, I think if you sit for a period of zazen,

[27:22]

There will be categories. There'll be to-do lists. There'll be pop song lyrics. There'll be what's going to be for lunch. There's all kinds of categories and judgments and all kinds of things that can come up. Oh no, I had that thought back just now. That was a terrible thought. You can categorize your own thinking. This is called thinking. What does it mean to always be close, to always be intimate? And maybe by saying always, he was kind of bragging. Maybe it's better to just sometimes, maybe if you're really good, a lot of the times be kind of close to whatever. I'm always close to this. I'm always intimate with this. So partly this has to do with being intimate or close with oneself. Just sitting, dropping body and mind, being present through the day or through the period or through the next inhale and exhale with this body and mind in your cushion right now.

[28:39]

Can you get close to really enjoying the wonderfulness and uniqueness of this next inhale? And the exhale. And the space at the end of the exhale. Pretty good if you can be, a lot of the time, close to this. So, we do fall into categories. Again and again, we get caught up in our judgments and discriminations. This is the thinking mind. Again, the point is not to get rid of your thinking. That's just more thinking. But how can we be close to No categories. How can we be really intimate with this pain in my foot, or my knee, or my shoulders, or my heart?

[29:47]

What is intimacy? What does it mean to be close? So this practice of just sitting, that you can't actually do correctly or incorrectly, this practice of dropping body and mind and just being here, allows us a chance to be close, to be intimate with this, this body-mind, this moment of 3,000 thoughts, 3,000 worlds. This inhale, this exhale. Dogen talks about this as studying the self. He doesn't mean, with all due respect to the psychologist, he doesn't mean psychoanalysis. Study the self.

[30:52]

What is it like to be present in this And even this. So I'm going to jump ahead just for the benefit of Artenza, because she has to go and take care of our lunch. But I'm going to be getting to this verse that talks about intimacy and closeness and says, This closeness is heart-rending if you search outside. Why does ultimate familiarity seem like enmity? It's difficult to be this close to ourselves and to each other and to this process of studying the self.

[31:57]

So what is the story about? The introduction to the story in this, for those of you who like the footnotes, case 98 of the Book of Serenity, the introduction to this says, the ancient sayings were so subtle. Where is the technique to help people? Don't forget that. We're not talking about some theoretical closeness, some theoretical Buddha bodies that aren't categorized or whatever. This is about, where is the technique to help people? How do we meet, as John said, all the lonely people, how do we meet the suffering of our own heart, mind,

[33:04]

all the people on your cushion, and all the people in the world around us. The people in your life, family, friends, co-workers who need our help, who are confused or fearful or in various kinds of pains, who've reacted to their fears by becoming bullies and so forth. Where's the technique to help people? The point isn't to get some answer. The point isn't to attain or know how to do this. The point is the question. Where's the technique to help people? Among the three Buddha bodies, which one does not fall into any category? Dongshan said, I am always close to this. So in the commentary, one of Dong Shan's well-known disciples once asked Dong Shan, please teach me a word which does not yet exist.

[34:23]

Does anyone have a word which does not yet exist? Come on out with it. I've heard that one before. Almost, almost, it's close. Dongshan, in response to the request, please teach me a word, which does not yet exist, Dongshan said, no, no one would agree. And then his disciple said, then can it be approached or not? Dongshan said, can you approach it right now? Nathan came close. And Sushant said, if not, still, there's no way to avoid it. And Dongshan agreed with him. That which, that word which has never been spoken, that body of Buddha that does not fall into any category, you can't avoid this question.

[35:42]

Well, you know, maybe you could have if you had stayed out in the world and spent all of your time you know, looking for distractions and ways of running away from yourself. But now that you're here, I'm sorry. Even if you just showed up for Dharma Talk for the first time, here you are, breathing, present on your cushion, and you've heard the story. And so you've been infected with the It's a call it a notion or ideas, not it, because that would fall into a category. What is it that does not fall into any category? What is it that goes beyond? Goes beyond what? Well, yeah, of course. Goes beyond what even? Still, where's the technique to help people? How do we stay close to that which goes beyond any categories and still realize that, you know, I have names for the different people on the cushions.

[37:00]

I have names for the different ideas in my head. We have names of three Buddha bodies. I said that before, Nirmanakaya, Jharmakaya, Sambhogakaya. So there are beings that need our help. even as we breathe into this question of what is it that goes beyond all these categories. Not just what is it, but again, one aspect of this question that I wanted to mention and I'll mention now is Buddha's body. So I talked yesterday about how this is a physical practice. You know, there are all kinds of libraries full of books you can read about it, but those are all just commentaries on the reality of this body now. So our practice is not to attain, not to figure something out, but how do you manifest Buddha's body in your body right now?

[38:11]

So we emphasize posture, sitting upright. And it's okay if you do it cross-legged or kneeling or sitting in a chair or, as I said yesterday, for some people it may be lying down. Of course we do it in walking meditation, but the posture is about being present and upright and being willing to consider, to think of not thinking, to think of that which goes beyond all the categories, to do this beyond categories, beyond thinking. to be aware with our body. So the practice really, I almost slipped into talking about what we need to accomplish. So I don't want to go there. It's not that you need to attain something other than what's right now, but how does this body express Buddha's body? How do you embody and enact and express Buddha's body?

[39:13]

Which of your bodies, which of your mudras, which of your postures and activities could be all of them? When you're washing the dishes, when you're taking out the trash, when you're playing music, when you're reading, when you're watching a movie, when you're talking with a friend, whatever, going for a walk. How does that body express Buddha? How does it not fall into just yet another category? Dongsen said, I'm always closer with this. I'm always intimate with this. This is a question. This is our problem. This is our joy in our life. So yesterday, someone talked about, late Nathan mentioned, lifelong learning. This is a practice of lifelong expression of Buddha. How do we learn new ways to express Buddha?

[40:22]

In this body, with this mind. So dropping body and mind means letting go of the ways in which we're caught by some idea of our body and mind. How do we actually become so intimate with this? How do we stay close to this? How do we keep studying the self? How do we relax completely into this dharma position, this reality, this karmic situation? Each of us with our own particular problems, and hang-ups, and confusions, and greed, and fear, and talents, and gifts, and interests. How do we use this mess on your cushion right now? On our cushion right now, I include myself. How do we use this to express that which does not fall into mere categories. To be helpful to people by just being yourself.

[41:26]

This is a practice not of trying to become some great enlightened whatever. What was that word you used, Nathan? Gugeldorf. Yeah, this is not a practice to try and become a Gugeldorf. As wonderful as Gugeldorfs are, as beautiful and mystical and glorious as all the buhledorfs in the world. You don't need to become a buhledorf. How can you just really be close to this body and mind, this person? Maybe it's many persons, Walt Whitman said, I am vast and We can't include multitudes, so he must have had some, must have done zazen sometimes. How do we include the multitudes of Gubeldorfs and other beings on our cushion right now, and use that to express Buddha for the world, to help people, to help ourselves?

[42:35]

How do we stay close to this? So, what is this intimacy? end with talking about that again. And the commentary to this story, well, it talks about how a monk asked Shaoshan, one of the most famous disciples and successors of Dongshan, what's the meaning of this, of the late teacher saying, I'm always close to this? And Shaoshan said, if you want my head, cut it off and take it. And he leaned forward to allow the sword to cut through his head. Another time, a monk asked Shishuang about the meaning of the founders coming from the West, Bodhidharma. And Shishuang gnashed his teeth to show him.

[43:38]

And later on somebody asked about that and another teacher said, I'd rather bite off my tongue than violate the nation's taboo. So if you find a teacher who can tell you what it is to always be close, they won't tell you. You have to be close. How do you get close to yourself? Be intimate with yourself, which, of course, is not the self separate from everybody else in your life and in your world. So again, there's a verse by another Chan master about this, saying, this closeness is heart-rending if you search outside. Why does ultimate familiarity seem like enmity? From beginning to end, the whole face has no color or shape. The original face has no category. Still, your head is asked for by Sao Chan. This closeness is heart-rending if you search outside.

[44:42]

You can't get it in books. You can't get it from somewhere else, anywhere else. Why does ultimate familiarity, ultimate intimacy seem like enmity? What is this closeness? that we come upon when we're willing to think beyond thinking, to be aware beyond thinking. Why does ultimate intimacy seem like enmity? Well, you know, maybe we all have some experience of that with partners or lovers or with parents or children. Why does ultimate intimacy seem like enmity? When we get really close to someone else, when we get really close to ourselves, when we're really willing to just be present, when we do the work of

[45:55]

studying this, which is to say of enjoying our inhaling and exhaling. Feeling our inner uprightness. Why does this deep intimacy seem like enmity, like opposition? So this happens on so many levels. It happens in our practice when we get close to ourselves and we feel resistance coming up. So people come to me and say, I feel all this resistance. I don't want to do this, yet here I am. It's not easy to actually be willing to be yourself. But that's what all the Buddhas are applauding, as you are. Why is it that the ultimate intimacy, the ultimate familiarity, seems like enmity?

[47:00]

This happens in the context of Sangha. Any Sangha, you know, a Buddhadharma Sangha like this, or any community you're in, when you're involved in really being close with someone you're working with, or a parent, or a child, or a partner, It's difficult because when you are studying yourself and open to yourself, we see things, we see our own self-grasping, and it hurts. We're open and vulnerable to being ourselves, just like we can be open and vulnerable to some other. It's not easy. Please feel free to take a break from that. It's important to rest and relax completely into this. This is a vital process, an alchemical, organic process of actually coming close to this, becoming intimate with yourself.

[48:10]

And it's heart-rending sometimes. Zen practice and training is like that. Can you reveal yourself to yourself? Can you... When you get in the midst of this practice, we see each other's self-grasping, you know? Can't avoid it. It's painful. And yet, This is the process by which we get really close, by which we express Buddha's body, by which we help people, by being willing to be yourself. So please do this in a gentle, relaxed way. I've talked about this before, but I just don't believe in practice that's about trying to get something, to reach some higher stage, or to get some dramatic experience.

[49:26]

I think it's harmful. I say that with all due respect, because maybe some people benefit by it. Anyway, this just sitting may include using techniques to help the people on your cushion. Enjoy your breathing. Use mantras. Use mindfulness practices. Use mental practices. Whatever will help to help you to settle, to just be close with this. This is not about something that, some dramatic experience that you have to get and then you're finished with it. This is lifelong learning. Lifelong. practice of creating a Buddha body on your cushion. It's already there. And yet... So thank you all very much for showing up.

[50:34]

That's maybe the most important thing. There's nothing to get. There's nothing to understand. Please feel free to just forget everything I just said. I'm always close to this.

[50:49]

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