Given on Tuesday, November 2, 2010
About this talk
Joining the Tassajara practice period; reminiscences of the first Tassajara practice period; kitchen practice and the Tenzokyokun;
Good morning. So thank you for. Inviting me thank you. But Steve you know again. I feel you know quite honored to be here at times Aria during a practice trade and you know bit humbled especially since you know I forgot my robes you know coming to the Formosan center in the Western Hemisphere. And I forgot my web site my oreo cookie and my big. Stick so. You know I'm dressed for the occasion though thanks to the Tonto on but he certainly has some low robes. And added you know again he's. Out for me with an OK so and so I do. But especially Billy Abbott's robes that it's kind of the large clothes the fail. And. You know wearing these robes I don't exactly feel like myself so I'm not sure what happened you know but. You know who would be talking you know if I give a talk and and this is a close one and they can say it's about having people come to you know in writing something to a practice period you don't know what they're going to say and then I'm not sure where and when you say who they are so we're going to find out so I can answer this you know. And you can say what you think you know. On one hand you know I beg to invite you to the ED BROWN magic show but you know this is right the cloud. You know right can rise Reichen magic shirt said might be women show we're not sure and on the other hand you know our tells her I'm trying to practice but this is a ninety day fifty piece right if your best is you know a participant in one of the actors and then we're also the audience you know rights and we're being matched. And we've got outfits and you know set pieces and you know that we show up for an end and then sometimes there's improvisational theater that happens even and people occasionally I would add to a toddler. You want me to face things so good through. Her. Writing remarkable event and I feel. Touched to be here for this and to be a part of it for a few days. One of the things that's happened. For me right Been here is you know certain. Times in my practice and you know I have come back and you know come back to me and. You know the whole time that. I did in the late sixty's and early seventy's I think that is variance well and the other Zendo you know that's it was burned down so many of the places right practiced I don't care anymore. But I remember sitting in the third seat and on the stone. And it's right near the door. Closes the door of the office he third seat down from there. And I remember. You know it wasn't until after I left the kitchen that when I was ten zero. We were the servers to. So we cooked when we put on clean aprons we served food in this order then we came back and ate in cleaning up and it wasn't until sometime later that. Somebody figured out people from this end up come out to help serve Did you know that I mean it was probably types of gummy Bushie. But it took him around to get around to explaining this to us because I think he was very first in one nine hundred sixty eight. When I was still tens of but it wasn't until sometime later that. The whole business with so crew and service from this end you know was somebody they're going to have to do that and I remember. You know the first practice period I did touch her there were seven people and we sat in an old Sendo it was very hot very Spector's period was in July and August and toast and I was officially dedicated. Baker was she wanted to do it that way and you know on July the fourth So we have so we would have the same birthday as you know our country and they could be our holiday and not theirs and. Me. And your brothers or drained it was first you had everybody was just sweating and the whole it was in a ceremony to become a priest it might have been like that though before the dedication like the there it. It was so hot everybody was waiting I think the most I mean was some Japanese. And we sat and sweated and you know Richard had his head shaved. And then became you know the first practice period he was a shoe so and the director. You. If you're going to be in charge you want somebody competent to be in charge. And. So on and I think this is my first time out here and I should so types in Reno and they owed it to me. And. And I think the last time I was returns home was Knight in for apprentice traders one thousand nine hundred one. I was also at a practice great in one nine hundred eighty four this time of year in the spring and. I was the head of it was in teacher for twenty two students with twenty two students and it was during a. You know she was outside the door era there she was Red said the door here at Tessa her this was a motor. So. We had a back in spirit and then in the middle of the Practice Period eighteen of us were what nineteen of us went up to the city for big meetings to discuss the future of Zen Center and for people staging protests around it for the weekend. And you know so I remember in so doing this is if you're Oceania his cabin which is now been moved but so do I remember the cabin which is meant I was space which is now the case and. Anyway it is as they say like a magic show and we. Just prove like this. You know we're disappear or. Move the waves and you know we're going to go under and it. Was ANDREW BROWN way and have it together and it turns out that even under water you know we can all agree. And I think you would have us in own way you know where you know standing. And I'd like. You know a couple lines of Roca poetry he said is about right and right is blowing. In like a breeze and listen to that the uninterrupted message flowing out forming its own out uninterrupted message from it so there's Joan has risen to interrupt with a message from him in some of the stillness and of course sometimes it's difficult to distinguish uninterrupted message flowing so if slowing forming itself out of his donors and what seems to be an interrupted message five minutes of out of one's status. By itself and how I'm doing and what other people think of me so we started where I was the difference. Messages which. And since I've been here this week. And I've been working in the kitchen and. Those are doing with people when we work and I'm talking about Gannon cooking and same if we can get some food done yet another magic show. And this week it's been occurring to me you know how much we like to play. You know hide and seek. And. Often ensure us in our own way are hiding. But it's our group ways you know when we're playing hide and seek when somebody would find us somebody will recognize this somebody will appreciate you know our good heart after some serious effort. Home heart and devotion somebody was very right a wonderful person right or somebody will be able to find you. And you know it's often pretty challenging because some of us have I'm speaking from experience here not I don't know about any of you but just to say from my experience I've often done quite a good job of hiding. And wouldn't want just anybody to find you. And want to be sure that the person who finds you with it cares enough to look through that and those behaviors you've created to actually find you somebody who cares that much so I mean it doesn't care if they find you and if so what it would what the person was going to find you to do with OK So you want to be sure. You can see yourself so. You know that the person in front you really nabs you really cares they can really. You. Have cared so it's a lot of fun to know you can do many hidings think games and when you find you know your child or a good childhood you know they're so happy. To be found but I can't see it if their child is in the band you know with some covers of them. When it's my daughter. With your front or I would the just so delighted. So as to know when when when for Theon recognized appreciated you know I think the writing and writing it was kind of defined as. Maybe if you know weight. From the schedule well enough. Look you know we have some good experience here and are successful. You know and that somebody will say thank you you know. It. But obviously that's not quite working. So we're not so quite nearly enough as we'd like to be an appreciative and so I feel you know to be invited here if you are. Going to someone you know something so thank you so again. And it turns out of course that pessimism is. You can say you know. You know it is about meeting face to face and doing something. But also we can serve but sand it is learning from finding out how to have problems what's a rooster way down your problem a difficulty how do you how do you work with a problem. Diet sleep knees bads commotion a lot of people distrust of various sorts How do you work with it. And of course is what was your job as an associate in seven says go the problem was you were no experience and will continue for the rest of your life you know that I think he was going to say we're going to return you know you wake up get in right and. See more clearly. It was there now they're going to continue for the rest of your life so this is a big. You know so if we're going to be safe. I'm going to be saying to somebody who has problems is that OK. Or would you just like to have the wonderful person. Sitting. So can you had running through every other or was there some way to sum up the screens anyway. So I'm going to. I took a few minutes. So little bit about the terms or Kyoko. And so my interest I'm going to keep it short because each topic they have here is like at least a lecture by me give you five to a big seven you know the next five letters but I'm not going to be here for now you can listen but what has been like the Bradys you can there's some to get the saying come to the same conclusions in different languages. The uninterrupted message so. In my reading of the terms are quick and I do say. You know I don't really appreciate Durbin's arrangement it doesn't suit me or structurally sound to me so anyway I put it into my arrangement so my five talking points. First of all don't so as. People who work in the kitchen should A rabs way sick in mind this is true of course not just in the kitchen but way seeking mind to mind it seeks their way so which ways things their way to be seen as not having problems their way would be seen as heaven Burtons. Their way to be yourself the way to be a broader. The way to move them peace and harmony the way to get the rice cooked their way because the most right is the way way worse and that is the way to prepare and that is another way to work with others. So. What is the way in this lab stands. You know what is the way to rock under the water you know to go under like an impact was created and that is the way to survive. Those three months mentioned show. What you need to do to survive but it's the way. You know to. Have enough strength to be with your problems to have enough what is the way to have enough what is the presence of not you need how do you do. How we sustain yourself I used to in a practice pre-one thousand nine hundred eighty four but for what it means I was and I to show to stand headstand that bans to me it was like I counted survivor you know I am not going to make it through to prove themselves and when they say do this first. If you do it in the pros you're going to you know someone to read. It but I don't do that anymore but it got me through the one nine hundred eighty four. I don't know what is the way. And the second. And I don't mean later you know gives you a particular piece of advice but you know like I do things and I show up every other things and all those stuff and whatever. But anyway and there is you know these relate to each other don't complain about the quality or quantity of the ingredients are given so. You know that might be helpful but in a major sense you know wrist or stating what I do I do this how to run up my not have Mr you know my knife which is the whole world and the second. Point that strikes me in the tens OK OK when I was doing the work same with your own I was working with your hands and once you started to study this. You may find it almost impassable. It's taken me years to find my hands you know to connect to consciousness we had so wrapped up in your head and your hands so your consciousness feels what your hands feel it's not your consciousness telling your hands where to do it. It's given your consciousness to your hands so you can feel what your hands are feeling this is in his eyes until until you feel your hands do you have it and I spent twenty years had some center I have a feeling in my hands except for when I would have never felt my hands and says and it's one thing since you know I practice that sense and here I started having hands this is not so easy but my friend said that you split your paper are the same so what do you mean he said well you know you. Want so you've had plenty of laps in so many mistakes it's going to pass lads it was right he was saying well I'm just not going to do anything just think you said might be wrong so I just meant to anything God can. Do anything I just not have I won't do anything wrong so to be sure I just might have hands. So. I suppose birds are back to sense like that but that and suggest I mean you know we can fell into that not emptiness but what about having your hands but instead I'm happy to have hands and what your hands sense and feel and know and seen with your eyes and then somehow nootropic But script was graph and now come around the room and work with paper at some point and then he was saying. People say No I don't want to do it and say today's your birthday break the rule is it's OK you can do something I've never done before and you know right now example as I go up to the kitchen people my photographer changed remarkably you know overnight when I realized you know most people take will take a picture you take a picture of on a boat or carry an Ronak. And you. Take a picture. But when you look at the picture later when you take a picture of is not the thing you've taken a picture of what was in the viewfinder. So look at what some of you find there you know otherwise you're going through the motions you're taking a picture of a thing but and then you get a picture there but it's not you haven't seen with your own eyes what you're taking a picture of what you can do that you can see what's in the finder so you can actually meet you know things in the kitchen you know just the rebels claim. What is the shape of something what does it look like it might take a grain don't go. Down the Thames or kill can is. Don't waste a single grain so apparently this is you know running to the motorway County Health Department and and the food can be here twice and then it's to be discarded. So. So well so much for getting. I Ben but I when I'm at home I take it very seriously and I am one of those strange people who like you know I rush and drive my plastic bags and then I follow them up and then I put them in a larger plastic bag and the thicker kind to turn back to the story is them so I'm guessing that in my lifetime you know it was a week five hundred a day so here ten years five thousand banks twenty years ten thousand bags you know I would have saved a lot of plastic bags I finally talked to my student couldn't so don't use this word. And I'm just wasting my time he said it's OK you know plastic bags are Patrol takes you know but you're going to make them and so I have hope but when you do it sometimes you feel this is also related to you know drug and says Don't say with ordinary eyes and ordinary mind anyway. I use what was special and I've been teaching the kids you know let's clean out the buds but you know we have time. For this and. Then if we're not going to anyway after the second time around why should we say that the first time. It's a complicated question but I don't know what to do I don't know what to suggest you know traditionally in Take One food. It goes into something else that's what I learned to cook when I was the cook here before you know when it was still it was only when Jimmy and me to take Tuesdays dinner and turn it into Thursday was a huge wins that was dinner for it was lunch and we used to have the leftovers. You know we put things into soups and I you know medicine type things. So what's the way I don't know so there are studying this. But to. Do this. Personally I've found that you know do it with your own eyes using your own hands that you know when you clean out regularly I think your consciousness changes. Just like your conscious changes when you back show regular When you babble but it was so sad isn't right Mr consciousness ships if you practice cleaning out Pods and boys what makes the food precious if it is only precious if you treat it as though it's precious if you treat yourself as though your precious your precious if you treat others as though their precious things would be precious to him for you know I had to start with good. So I could try it you know because I was so. Rooted. So I started taking care of food and about it years and just and something about taking care of myself taking care of others so I take it seriously and it hurts me in the same way to see how much food how much work is done how much effort goes into making all the food there goes into the company. But I don't know what to do. Right if you know people who are here in the same boat interested in the study it will take on that study of not knowing what to do what is the way how do I use my body how do I use my eyes you can see it going out to the coast. It's not hidden. In my first category. And the Dems are Kyoko in is to let things come and abide in your heart let your heart returning to buy things this is that saying that problems come about in your heart that your heart returning back to the problems because we're often trying to set up a place that where I don't have to relate to things and it's nice to hang out there for bed. When you simplify and you have sevens and then you can observe and study things more carefully everything's in a word to know such a blow in the breeze blowing like the breeze but for the. Things that come into your heart then how you respond from your heart you know that you've heard good things and this is different than your head your head tries to figure out how can I do so that everybody likes me so that nobody could just as me so when I let you know who said so I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. So the fifth category and going is don't see with ordinary eyes and don't. You know think with ordinary mind I'm happy you use your awareness you know it's such a gift we're in as we can treat something as being precious and then it's precious we can go for awareness to something you can such as you. You know to feelings to thoughts to some solutions we can read and think it's a knife and when it's gives life to things and them something you know by the gift of my wine is we've really seen Risi interesting for mad sometimes meet us people meet us and so. I don't want to talk too long so I'd like to. Also tell you a couple of lines of Rumi poetry. Excuse me for not having words and. What you probably get enough of not good. Things you know turns words to the weak and thinks. You know Reagan on be making you know various assessments how well I'm doing now when I'm doing compared to others am I getting it am I not getting it but when you take it that. Your people right now did it not write me did they say me did they not send me right don't they push it any more when you know. Anyway really says just to be hounded by the ocean is a great piece of luck just to be held by the ocean is a great piece of luck. It's a total awakening. I totally wake you not just to be held by the ocean is a great piece of luck it's a total waking up feeling. The motions and tenderness feels emotions a tenderness poignancy feel the emotions of tenderness the Boynes he have to speak it was like this you know we're part of the great ocean of all of us study and practice and sitting together it's very you know remarkable just to be hammered by the ocean but it's a great piece of work so you can feel day you can feel the emotions of tenderness the pointy Suzuki Roshi come with soft mind that she will not. Let your body be so. Then we might look in the kitchen and are suggesting. That your hands be so. Right by telling your hands what to do there will be hard when you're allowing your hands to be hands and receiving their hands there be stopped thank you.