Some types of compassion are imperceptible, and some types are perceptible. And sometimes the perceptible meets the imperceptible, and sometimes the imperceptible, no, yeah. And sometimes the imperceptible meets the perceptible, and sometimes the perceptible meets the perceptible. That's a kind of big statement at the beginning, and before we go into that mysterious topic more, let me say that I'd like to follow up on something I said we would follow up on at the end of last class, which was that Nata—am I saying your name right?—Nata said, well, what about planning? Didn't you? Pardon? Oh, what's your name again?

[01:07]

Michael said, what about planning? You guys look a little bit alike. You're both like in your 30s, right? And you have similar beards. Yeah, so anyway, Michael? Yeah, so Michael asked about planning, and I just thought of this funny thing. I thought it was funny. Do you want to hear it? If you want to know about planning, I'm your man. So anyway, I was actually, I was thinking about, I thought it was yours, but your question, and I was thinking about it all week off and on, and one of the times I was thinking about it

[02:10]

was in the dining room at Green Gulch. There was a long line of people queuing up for the buffet, and I was at, sort of, at the end of the line. So I sat down in a chair and sat silent and still, and then I planned when I was going to get up and go and get the food. And I wasn't exactly enjoying the planning. I was enjoying sitting silent and still and watching the planning do its thing. And I noticed stuff like, maybe, a kind of, like, somewhat, what's the word, a little bit of jumpy, a little jumpy energy around

[03:14]

the planning, like, when should I get up? You know, stuff like that. That came up there in that sitting there at the back of the room in silence and stillness. But then I just watched it, and then I sort of watched the plans come up and saw they didn't have to be jumpy. They could come up more quietly, like various possibilities, just watch them. And then I also noticed the thought coming up. Oftentimes when people are planning, they think, there's also a thought in their consciousness, they think, I don't have time to sit and look at this in silence and stillness. Part of the challenge of meditating, I should say, part of the challenge of bringing silent sitting, bringing it to some activity like planning,

[04:17]

part of the challenge is when it gets there, we sometimes think, do I have time to, like, actually find stillness and wait until the stillness seems to be here before I actually get into the planning? And you might say, well, your example was kind of easy. You know, you can sit there and, you know, if you excuse the expression, although we don't have cows anymore at Green Gulch, you can sit there until the cows come home. It doesn't matter really to you whether you have lunch or not. It doesn't, actually. But it does matter to me. What does matter to me is bringing silence and stillness to the planning. But I noticed that part of the human thing is, do we really have time? And sometimes we don't think we do. But that time I did. I actually thought, I can just sit here and watch, to see when I want to get up and go get the food.

[05:25]

In other words, my plan, when my plan to get the food comes up. And, honestly speaking, I don't do that every time I go to the dining room, of returning to silence and stillness and watching the plan unfold. But thanks to your question, I got to sit there and meditate on the formation of the plan to go get the food. And I would feel very fortunate that I had the opportunity to be able to do that, partly supported by all of you. Because I wasn't doing it just for me. I was doing it to try to come here and tell you tonight that you can do things like that. And a lot of times, people feel like they don't have time to do this, and they spend weeks thinking about the thing. They don't have time to be still, but they have time to, like,

[06:28]

agonize about the decision for weeks. Actually, they have plenty of time. And they torture themselves with it, primarily by not giving the planning this nice context where you can actually, like, be there with it and watch it. Yes. I even had time to call on you. I wanted to say that what next, that whole concept of what next, changed my whole life and my whole week. Yeah. And that I sort of booted a whole bunch of new patients that I've had in my life, all my life, out the window. I was able to stop and just be with whoever I was with and do whatever I was doing. It was just an extraordinary gift. Did you hear him? The what next. And what next is English for anxiety. It's an English sentence for anxiety. What next? So if you're planning, the what next is often in the neighborhood. So when the what next comes up, like, what next,

[07:38]

you know, when are you going to stand up and go walk over there? When that what next comes up, I didn't have to do anything with it. I could let it be there and just watch the what next. You can be here. But my practice is to be with you quietly and in stillness. And so what next? What next? What next? Or whatever. A lot of other possibilities. And then this thought might arise. I want to go get the food. And it did. And when it arose, I had no problem. It was no conflict. I just got up and walked and got the food. If on the way someone stopped me, which could happen, you know, because most people were not waiting in line anymore, someone could say, could I talk to you as I was walking? And then again, this is quicker. But in silence, I can like

[08:40]

watch how I feel about that. Mike, could you come here, please? Would you come up here, please? I didn't tell him to go that way, but he did. Would you sit here, please? Thank you. Thanks for coming. You're kind of handsome. You're also not what I expected. No, apparently it's someone else. The person over there is not there anymore. And you're not him either. You're this person, I guess. Anyway, thanks for coming. Yeah, it's been a changing experience. Did you by any chance plan coming up here? No. Would you go back now? So I'm not... Did you plan going back?

[09:55]

He could have said, yes, I planned. I planned to go down that row rather than go that way. Anyway, he didn't. He said he didn't. But I could see that, you know, I thought if I asked him, he might say, no, I didn't. You know, it was so easy for you to come up here that you maybe didn't think you had to plan it. And that's another thing about planning is we often associate it with difficulty. You know, like we do. And then because the word difficulty comes up, we then are, you know, more, what do you call it, more at risk of what next, or when am I going to get out of this, etc. But, yeah, difficulty comes up in silence and stillness. And then in that space, the planning can deal with the difficulty. And I didn't plan what I'm about to say to you, although I am now seem to be planning on saying

[11:11]

I thought, which I think I'm going to say to you, but it's really short-term planning. Because a couple of seconds ago, I hadn't even thought of it. But somehow it was given to me. Did you give it to me? Who gave it to me? Did I give it to myself? What's the answer, Barry? That's right. He said, I don't know. That's the correct answer. I don't know how it popped up in my head, but it was a very happy thing that popped into my head, and I'm going to tell you about it before long. You're going to get to hear this nice thing that came up in my consciousness, and I don't know what made it come up. You could say, well, you've been studying Buddhism a long time. Well, yes, so that's part of what makes it come up. But you've been studying for a long time, and that's part of what makes it come up. Yes? Are you demonstrating to us right now the anxiety of

[12:13]

waiting for what's next? I am not demonstrating it. However, you might say, are you trying to make it come up in me? And I'm not doing that either. But I can imagine the longer I don't tell you, the more anxious somebody might feel, so I won't go on much longer. But I was not planning on you becoming anxious, and I'm not feeling anxious. I feel like I'm being fed my lines. You're giving me, the whole world's giving me this gift, which I think I'm going to share with you, but I might not, because you might mob me before I get a chance. You might think it's more interesting to say, tell me, tell me, tell me, rather than just quietly wait until I tell you. I don't know what you're going to do, but whatever you do, it will have a consequence for me. Yeah, see what I mean? Yes?

[13:16]

You're adding to all the... What you just did about planning made planning disappear, so I'm less clear now I'm planning than when I started the talk. Well, you're less clear I'm planning, okay? And I'm equally clear on how I come to be thinking what I'm thinking. In other words, I didn't know at the beginning when I came in here, and I still don't. So I'm not less you say clear? Yeah, I'm not less clear. What's that got to do with planning? I don't know. I don't know how it all works, but I have confidence that it works, and I have confidence that it's an all-pervasive process. That part you get, and that part you can't get. Okay, that part I know I can't get. Yeah. What has to do with planning is that I was sitting here talking to you

[14:22]

and talking about where this Compassion Action Cloud comes up. Okay, and I didn't plan on this wonderful thing coming into my mind, but it did. I could have planned, you know, coming here, I got this, I'm going to plan, find something interesting to say to these people. And then, but this is an example of, even though I might have thought that, still this wonderful thing came in my mind, which I didn't plan. And somebody else could have been spending a lot of time trying to plan how to say something helpful here. Okay, but what's your bottom line? What's the bottom line? The bottom line? The bottom line is making planning a social action which expresses great compassion. Great compassion is living in silence and stillness. How do you express that great compassion in talking, walking, raising your hand, planning?

[15:29]

How do those things work with this? So that's why Mike asked, I'm talking about how to bring the compassion that's living in stillness to meet the planning. So what I did was, I sat there in the dining room and put some planning right in the middle of me sitting there quietly. And I watched the planning, the particular planning of that moment of, you know, planning to go get the food. But then I also just, since there was some time, I not only watched the potential birth of the plan to get the food, I watched a lot of other possible plans. And I watched how they all look much, I say, not exactly better, but maybe more beautiful in this space. They're no longer like, what do you call it, tormenting me. They're more like, how lovely to watch this stuff. You know, a trip to Rome,

[16:36]

somebody invited me to Rome. When am I going to go? To look at that in that space gives, you know, lets all kinds of compassion come there and come from there. Yeah, and I'm not postponing the telling of the story. Yes? Last week you talked about planning being exhausting, but I took away that. Yeah, right. It's exhausting when you don't do it in this space. Yeah. And so when Gary talked about his sense of freedom, what I interpreted this week, his freedom, that also resonates with me, because being open to the surprises that might come up when we don't plan. For instance, you normally start over there when you call people, and you started right here. So what a surprise. Yeah, for me too. There's some freedom with not planning. Freedom, and it's not as exhausting. And it's not torment. People are tormented by, often tormented by planning, because they're running around.

[17:38]

They're not settled with it. So they get pushed around by it and threatened by it. Jeff? Okay, all right, so here's the story. I can't wait any longer. I'm sitting here talking to you guys, and a story pops in my head, and the story is something like this. Something like this. What is great compassion? A Zen master says to another Zen master. And Zen master one asked Zen master two, what's great compassion? And Zen master two said, it's like reaching behind your head for a pillow in the middle of the night. Is there a plan? Well, sort of. Are you trying to be compassionate? Well, not really.

[18:51]

It's just like you want to get your pillow, and your hand goes back to get it. And then the conversation goes on. I think it goes like this. Then Zen master number one asked Zen master two, well, what are all the hands and eyes for? So Avalokiteshvara sometimes has a thousand hands. The Bodhisattva of Great Compassion sometimes is pictured with a thousand hands. Usually it's not actually a thousand, they just say a thousand, but there's a lot of them. And in the palm of each hand is an eye. So the hands are both things you can use to help people, but also they're things to see people. And so Zen master one says to Zen master

[19:52]

two, I think, what are all the hands and eyes for if it's just like reaching behind, if it's just like reaching, if it's that simple, what are all this stuff for? Something like that. And then the person being questioned said, hands and eyes all over the body. And then the other one says, well, that's pretty good, but you only got 80%. And then he said, what about you? He says, hands and eyes throughout the body. That's the story. And we can spend the rest of our lives talking about that if you want to. So Great Compassion is like, it's just like this, or just like this. It's like that. And then all the special situations,

[20:56]

well, we have abilities to relate to them all over us, but actually it's more integrated than that. It's spontaneous. And it doesn't come from me to you. It comes from the way I really am to the way you really are. And maybe I can get out of the way of where this compassion comes from. It comes from our actual relationship, the way we're actually together. That's what saves people. So again, we say, living beings are numberless, sentient beings are numberless, I vow to save them. The Chinese characters don't actually have the character for I, but it's okay to put I in there. But the point is that the thing that saves people is our actual relationship.

[22:08]

And each of us is a particular embodiment of our actual relationship with everybody else. Who is an embodiment of their actual relationship with us and everybody else? That process is, yeah, that's the process. And it's living in silence and stillness, and we're trying to let it out. I mean, one might wish to let it out. It's there, available to be released, to be unleashed. And that's compassion. Just like that story just came up in my mind. Compassion was unleashed into my mind and gave me that nice story, which then came out to you. And when you ask me questions or you comment, that also is coming from that same place.

[23:19]

But are you out of the way so you can enjoy it? That's one of your responsibilities, is not to interfere with this natural unfoldment of your true relationship with everybody. And somehow we have to train that because we kind of cannot, somehow we seem to be able to interfere with it, like not being willing to be quiet while we're planning. Because we think, I can't afford to be quiet. I got to get this done fast. And then you can go on weeks like that, which you could have been spending a week just being quiet rather than torturing yourself. Now, did you want to say something? Well, yeah, this kind of gets back to the original question, if I remember the context of your question last week was, well, when you're talking about doing some kind of a campaign, some sort of complicated...

[24:24]

Yeah, a complicated campaign. ...translates your compassion out of the social context. Yeah, yeah. As you said yourself, the examples you've been giving are simple examples. Simple examples. They don't involve something you're going to do over time, they don't involve contingencies, they don't involve all that sort of thing. So I can see from what you're saying, I can see it in my own life, in people's lives, I know that being just anxious, and I got to get this done, I got to do this, self-defeating, much better to be still, quiet, fine, in that quietness, then begin to think. But I don't think you're, you're not saying that you've been focusing on things that spontaneously arise in that space. It's not enough, I mean, that's clearly not enough to decide, well, I'm going to do this, which is going to take months at least, this happens, I'm going to have to vary what I do, and, you know, how do I, what are the different steps I'll have to take with other people to do it? I mean, you're not saying that everything just comes spontaneously out of

[25:28]

silence, it's stillness, are you? Rather than having to think things through in a kind of... I think that, yeah, what I'm saying is that you can think through complex things in that space. And one of my friends, I won't say who, but you can guess, spent many hours, you know, he was living in the community, he was a priest, he spent many hours when we were sitting, he was imagining buildings. He was envisioning how to build buildings in his mind while he was sitting. Now, I don't know if he was sitting in silence and stillness, but maybe he was, but he was doing, you can do complex things in silence and stillness, and you can also consider simple things, and you can go through them if you want to, you know, you can let the thing unfold,

[26:34]

and I would say, in some sense, each turning of the process, in a sense, is spontaneous, in the sense that spontaneous doesn't mean that it doesn't have conditions and causes, it means that you don't have to add anything to the process for it to unfold, and you're not like outside it trying to run it, you're one of the conditions, like you're an aware living creature, and you can watch thinking going on in your mind, and you can watch... you know, Albert Einstein just popped in my mind, Albert Einstein just popped in my mind, he could like sit quietly and watch various thought experiments going on, maybe it doesn't surprise you that when he was watching these thought experiments that he might have been really concentrated and quiet while he's imagining, you know, trains going and stuff like that, and various experiments, they occurred in his mind first, and then he played

[27:39]

them out in his mind, but I think he was quite quiet and still while he was watching the laws of physics being experimented with in various ways, so it can be very complex, and I'm suggesting that it might work out that the planning or the imagining of various activities might go really well in this space, but it might go well in some other space, it's just that in this space you're also opening to compassion, and if you rush around you get in the way of the compassion, so if I rush around I kind of interfere with this with this simple reaching behind the head which can apply to many different things, and also I feel anxious and stressed, I think Einstein of course sometimes felt stressed, but I think when he was doing his physics, probably he's least stressed, and also certain

[28:45]

mathematicians when they're doing the mathematics sometimes they're very unstressed, and also when Beethoven was writing his stuff, I think he was stressed in his social life, but I think when he couldn't hear anymore and the ninth symphony came up in his head, I think he was pretty happy about that, that he could still compose without being able to hear, what a joy, and it's called the ode to joy, he's very happy that his musical imagination didn't even need to be able to hear to go on, and I don't think he was like running around nervously thinking of what next, what next was the next note, and the same with Bach, I think when they were doing their thing I think they're very happy, and then when we listen to them we get to tune in to that magnificent process of compassion, it can be very complicated, very complex,

[29:46]

do we allow ourselves when we're doing complex things to be here and be quiet? I would say let's work on allowing that, and remembering that. Yeah? I'm imagining panning with other people, is that something that happens, especially in my work situation? And I'm imagining conjuring up this state where I'm not getting in the way of my own contribution, so maybe mindfulness of breathing, and we talked about, I think it was last week, that you stop elevating yourself above other people, and other qualities that kind of keep you from being ego-driven in the planning process, and that maybe that's...

[30:54]

You can say keep you from being ego-driven, or you could just say, you could remember to be silent and still with ego driving, so you can sit there and watch, oh wow, look at this, here I am with these other people, we're planning, and there's an ego running around here, and I'm silent and still with it, and yeah, I can see it, how it's working, and actually it sometimes has some good suggestions to make, and I'm not trying to stop it from running around and being driven and driving, and that's all can occur here, and then sometimes it might say, Christiane, actually, I'm going to sit down for a while and take a little rest, you know, I'm going to be quiet for a while, you say, okay, and then people might say to you, what do you think, Christiane, and then boom,

[31:56]

here comes your contribution, which comes maybe right after your ego, which you've been nice to, has just sat down and is no longer getting in the way of your suggestion, and so when you tell people, they just hear it, they don't feel this load on top of it, coming from either you're pushing it, or you're trying to push yourself away, like if you try to push yourself away, then you can be kind of resentful that you didn't get to be there when the message was delivered, or if you didn't push yourself away, and so people feel your resentment about the way you've been taking care of yourself, which gets mixed in with your message, which might be quite a nice message, or the other one is, you didn't suppress yourself, and you took possession of this nice idea, and it's mine, so they feel, here's the idea, and it's Christine's, it's Christiane's idea, and she's telling us her idea, and if we don't go along with it, who knows what might happen,

[33:00]

because she's like, here's the idea, and you're mine, and it just happens to be the best, and stuff like that, so that's what, if you're not silent and still with this ego thing, it more gets in the way of this compassion coming out of you, in the form of a suggestion. Now, you might not be surprised if I'm at a meeting in Zen Center, people probably feel like it's okay for him to sit quietly while we're having this discussion, and he's not saying anything, but we can ask him if he has an opinion at some point, if we want to hear from him, and so after they're talking and stuff like that, I'm sitting there watching, and I'm watching myself listening to them, and then they might ask me, they say, you haven't said anything, I say, uh-huh, and they say, well, what do you think? I say, well, I might say, I'm uncomfortable with this suggestion, I might say, yeah, I am, and that might be my compassionate contribution,

[34:03]

I might say, I'm okay with that, I think that's a good way to go, and that's my compassion, it's not like I'm doing anything big, I'm just doing something compassionate, I'm just telling them how I am, and supporting them in their work, and appreciating them, yeah, but I could also disagree, but I might not, my disagreement, which might have come up earlier, I would be silent and still with, and let that find its way to be expressed in the most beneficial way, which I'm not going to plan, it just comes, it'll come forth when people ask me, and stuff like that, and I can also notice when I'm hung up on it, and in that case, I might say, I must confess I'm a little hung up on my thought here, please forgive me, I'm a little worked up about this, so I want to be careful. Yes, Nata?

[35:03]

So you might be compelled to say something before you're asked about how you feel? That might happen, yeah, and when that happens, I usually feel like that's kind of too bad, that it wasn't just that I... I can also speak before I'm asked, but I might speak before I'm asked because I'm compelled by my lack of presence, so yeah, things might collide down, and nobody asks me to say anything, and I feel like I have something to say, or people might be talking, and I feel like I have something to say, but maybe I don't, because I'm feeling not quiet with my impulsiveness, my impulsiveness wins out over the being quiet and still, and I say something, and maybe the timing is a little off, but I could have said the same thing maybe from a different, from a more meditative position,

[36:06]

and I could have said at the same time, and maybe the timing would have been just right, and I do sometimes feel like, oh, I was a little ahead of when it was my turn, or I was a little behind when it's my turn, yeah, and so part of this is being compassionate to myself when I noticed my timing wasn't right on that time, yeah, but you know, I'm learning, I'm trying, I'm not too good, but you got to admit I'm trying, I'm learning, and I'm going to keep learning, I'm not going to stop learning. One of the signs of a teacher is, are they still studying? Some people, some teachers give the impression of, no more study for me, I'm a finished product. One time when I was abbot of Zen Center, I was at Tassajara in the summer when the guests are there,

[37:15]

and I had breakfast in the guest dining room with the guests, and this woman sat, or I sat down with this woman, or she sat down with me, and we were sitting together at a table, and she said, I think maybe she said, do you live here? And I said, mm-hmm, and she said, are you a student here? And I said, mm-hmm, and I wasn't being like, oh, I'm not, I am a student. I'm a student of something really good, and I'm going to continue studying it. And then later she found out that I was the abbot, and she was so happy that when she asked me if I was a student, I said, yes. Some people, I've gone some places, this is, you're going to see what I think is funny, I've gone some places, and visited some other temples, and met some priests, and I meet them, and I say, hello,

[38:19]

and they say, hello, I said, are you one of the priests here? And the person says, am I one of the priests? I'm the head of this place. I'm the teacher. I'm the cat's meow. Am I a student? I'm the teacher. People have said that. Did you think that was a little bit funny? I thought so. It's like they were kind of insulted that I couldn't tell that they were, how lofty they were. But actually, I sometimes see lofty students. And you might say, well, isn't there a limit on that? Like when you're a Buddha, are you still a student? Well, I think so. I think Buddha's still learning, and what's he learning about? He's learning about people. He's learning about what they need. People come and they say, okay, here's what I need. Oh, thanks for telling me. Okay, here it is. So the Buddha gives people what they show

[39:21]

her that they need. Buddha doesn't know before he meets people what the teaching is going to be. I assert that. Yes? Ram, could you give me a play-by-play of what happens when you sit? You've been sitting for a long time. Play-by-play? Yes, when you sit. Yeah, so I sit, and then I usually find my posture, which takes a little time because, you know, I adjust my robes, and I find the posture, and then I often do think, well, what should I contemplate? And quite frequently, what I contemplate is observing sentient beings with eyes of compassion, or I contemplate listening to the cries of the world. Usually in the Zen, though, people are not crying out loud, but sometimes they do.

[40:25]

And sometimes they tell me that they feel that they are not allowed to cry out loud, and I say, well, you know, you are allowed to cry out loud. If you cry, I can listen to that. I'm not going to tell you to shut up. Maybe some people will, but I think most people here can handle crying. If you start giggling, well, we might ask you to go outside. But crying actually is pretty easy for me to listen to, and if you are not crying, I can still listen to it. I mean, I know people are calling me, even though I can't hear them with my ears. I know you are calling me. And so I sit listening to the cries, and also I listen to my own, which I use to find my posture. You know, like earlier today, I went like this, because I had pain in my upper part of my hip. I stretched it. I listened to it.

[41:29]

So that's one of the things I usually do. Or I remember something, like I remember, what might I remember, Barry? What you spoke to about last week, I mean, what you're bringing to this. Yeah, right. And I might remember, I actually remember silence and stillness. I remember that when I'm sitting, and then so like, I'm sitting there, and then I remember it, and I'm sitting there remembering it, and it's not exactly better, it's just, if I'm going to think about something, how about stillness? And then again, when I think of stillness, and I remember it, quite naturally, I start listening. Or if I'm listening and I remember stillness, in a way, the listening is supported by remembering the stillness. In a way, the stillness makes whatever the call is, it makes it a little more interesting.

[42:30]

Like people may be, this person might say something really interesting, and this person might say something really boring. But if I'm still with this person, and still with this person, it doesn't matter too much. I'm interested in both, in the stillness. But if I'm not remembering stillness, then, okay, this is interesting, and I don't want to hear any more boring stuff from you. When you're still, what is ordinarily boring is really okay. When you're agitated, you just want the best TV show, or the most beautiful poetry, rather than just, I don't know what, the sound of the wind, or somebody being nervous and talking. Yes, and yes? Q. Last week you talked about sentimental compassion, and that was very helpful,

[43:34]

and I was quickly able to apply it. And then you talked about the three levels of compassion, and you said the second was illusory. The second kind of compassion is called compassion according to Dharma, where in you understand that the people that you are feeling compassion towards actually have no independent existence. The way they appear is an illusory form of their actual being. And also you, who's trying to be kind to them, you also are kind of like a transitory, selfless person, and the compassion is like that too. So, as you start to look at the beings, or at the situation, in terms of these teachings,

[44:39]

that's the second type. Q. Wait, I missed that last part. You start to look at the beings... In terms of the teaching, the teaching that things are dependently co-arisen, that they don't have an inherent self, that the way they appear is that they do have an inherent self. They appear to be like that, and not that. But the way they appear is just temporary, and it's kind of an illusion in your mind. So I have illusions of you in my mind. You are not the way you're appearing in my mind. You know, so if I die, and there's no more illusions of you in my mind, you don't die. You know, fortunately, in a way. The me part of you would die. So, yes. Q. Because then you said the third one is great compassion, and you were talking about great compassion at the beginning, so I was concerned that you missed a word or two.

[45:44]

Well, I'm happy to go over this, and I did bring up the illusion last time, and when I was bringing it up, you know, it's quite understandable. People start frowning because the second type of compassion is what liberates you from the first kind. And I would say the first two that I talked about, the first one is a raft, and the second one's a raft. The first one's a raft, which you should ride for a while, and as you ride it, you'll realize the defects of the raft. You'll realize the defects of the sentimental compassion. And as you continue to ride it, it will take you forth on the path, and you'll get more and more clear. There's problems with this type of compassion. It's, you know, it's the what next kind of compassion, or it's the why me compassion, or it's sentimental.

[46:45]

All of our habits are playing in with it. But we need to ride it, and learn about it, and learn its defects. And as we learn its defects, we become more and more ready to say, well, maybe I've ridden this raft long enough, and I can go on to the next one. I think I've heard about the next one, but it's somewhat repulsive. You know, the beings I'm trying to help are illusory, and I'm an illusory helper, and it's a compassionate, illusory compassion to illusory suffering. That's kind of scary. If I open to the illusoriness of the suffering I see, maybe I wouldn't practice compassion anymore. So it's kind of frightening. But as you see the drawbacks of this type, where you think compassion inherently exists, which we normally do, that's our sentiment, is this compassion is really true. It's not just a temporary composition.

[47:46]

It's really true, and I really own it, or don't. So we start that way, and we ride that raft, and we see the defects, and then we say, this other way is kind of scary, but I've heard that it will free me from the defects of this type, and also this type has lots of problems, so if that's got some problems, I think I'll go for those problems now, and I'll get on the other raft. And that way has defects, too. The defect of the second raft, the second compassion, is one that you sort of hold on to the idea of illusion, or the idea of insubstantiality of yourself, and the compassion, and the people you're being compassionate towards, and the suffering. If you hold that, that's a defect. But you have to hold it in order for it to do its job of curing you from the previous raft. To really let go of the previous raft, you need the second raft. Second raft is, again, a temporary raft.

[48:52]

It serves its purpose of freeing you from the defective type of compassion, and that takes you to the third type of compassion, which doesn't have defects, which has no duality. Which has no attachment. And that one is not a raft. That's where you're going. And where you're going is already here, in silence and stillness. But we have to practice the other two types of compassion in order to fully waken up to it and let it go. Because let it go means enter it and be its servant, rather than like you're driving the great compassion boat. The other two, you're kind of driving. And since we deal with our life that way, that we're going to do it with compassion. So also I would say that I thought of Siddharishi's talking about the teaching of emptiness, the teaching of ultimate truth, is kind of like salt.

[49:53]

And, you know, if you have rice, which is, you know, usually what we're into is this rice, our conventional ideas, our sentimental ideas of kindness and compassion. If you put a little salt on it, it might be more delicious. But don't put too much on. You know, don't put too much illusion on your compassionate activities. But a little bit makes it really taste good, and you can chew it, and then it's gone. So the second type is a little bit like salt, and the first type is a bit more like rice. So be careful not to be too salty. And I don't think I've been too salty, have I? Okay. Because you said the danger of the second one is, if everything's a loser, including the suffering, and including my separateness and all that,

[50:57]

why would you be compassionate at all? Like, well, you see, you're not doing that sentiment anymore, just make sure you feel good or whatever it is in the first stage. And, but if everything's an illusion, including the suffering, why practice compassion at all in the second stage? You know, I just recently noticed that the first type of, in one of the sutras, Vimalakirti Sutra, they write sentimental compassion or loving view compassion. Or what's... The way the literal characters for sentimental compassion in Chinese are loving view compassion, but actually I noticed that the Chinese doesn't say loving view compassion, it says loving view, loving view is great compassion. So the thing that's running the loving view compassion, the sentimental compassion, is great compassion. This is our beginning way of practicing great compassion, is this limited way. We start with a defective version of where we're going.

[51:59]

And so it's the great compassion that's actually driving the whole ship, all these rafts and ships and oceans and everything. It's the great compassion, but it takes this limited defective form first. Then it takes this way that's been sort of educated, and the second way liberates you from the first. And then the second way needs to be a drop too. And the whole process is being driven by great compassion, which is already here. So we shouldn't give up. And great compassion will help us not give up, even as we enter into the salty area where things... where we're opening to... My idea of what's helpful is actually an illusion of what helpfulness is. But I need, in order to work with being helpful, I need some illusions. And before, I didn't even know that they were illusions. I thought they were really what compassion was. Then I saw the problems in that, so then I opened to the teaching,

[53:01]

well, maybe what I think compassion is, is an illusion. And then... But if I hold on to that, that would be a defect. So I don't want to hold on to that. Just use it to get off the previous raft, and then when you ride that for a little while, then get off that one and dive into great compassion. I think... Do you want to go before, Tracy, or after? Before. Okay. He's honest. Could you just say again what the transliteration was of sentimental compassion? It's not... Sentimental compassion is a translation of that. Yeah, yeah, okay. So the original Chinese is loving view. And then it has a possessive. Loving view is great compassion, or it's the great compassion in the form of loving view. It's sentimental great compassion. So it's not like great compassion.

[54:01]

Great compassion, this is really helpful. I see that. I didn't even notice that before. Great compassion is not someplace else when we're doing this defective compassion. It's right there. But because we're involved in the defective compassion, we're kind of like not ready to open to. Again, I'm practicing. I'm trying to practice. Maybe I'm practicing compassion. I'm not yet ready to enter into compassion where I'm not doing it. Or it's not me doing it. But that's great compassion. It's not Buddhas being compassionate. It's like Buddhas there feeling everybody and resonating with everybody. And that's the process of liberation. But if you think about diving into this in inconceivable, unlimited compassion, you might go, oh, wait a minute, no, no. I want to do compassion that I can do. Okay, fine. Then do that until you've seen enough of that style

[55:03]

and seen its problems. Okay, I can always come back to this. I think I'll just let it go for a while and try this other style. And then now I see the problems of the other style. And I've heard teachings about the problems. And now I'm seeing them. I'm seeing if I hold onto the insubstantiality of Rachel that will interfere with me practicing compassion with her. I'm doing this just to really have a true relationship with her. But now I see that the insubstantiality of her, which liberated me from my ideas about her, now if I'm holding onto that, that gets in the way. So I can still see her as insubstantial and let go of it and plunge into the mystery of our relationship. Does that make sense? I'm going like this. Can you go the other way? Okay, not long enough.

[56:04]

Yes? I was a little taken aback when you said when you go to sit down and sit, you adjust your posture and then you contemplate. And it sounded to me like you were figuring out what to think about. I'm not figuring it out, although one could figure it out. But if I do get involved in trying to figure something out, I contemplate that. So I contemplate quite naturally. I calm down. I calm down and I contemplate. So I was trying to see the difference for me, because you know, when I sit on the cushion, which has been there for a while, I let myself think, but I kind of think I shouldn't be, but I'm really supposed to be there emptying my mind, but I let my thinking run out and then eventually the mind comes. So I was trying to see how to mount that on what you were saying.

[57:05]

Here's my theory, that when you say contemplate, maybe you're talking about what I call thinking, but in stillness and silence. Yep, you're right. When you think about things in stillness and silence, we call that contemplation rather than just thinking. When you're thinking in an unstable, agitated mind, then we call that thinking. But the thinking gets promoted to contemplation and then insight when you do it in tranquility. I couldn't listen to you because I'm so trying to figure out why you took the raksha off. Oh, because I'm going to go to the bathroom. I mean, that's one story. There's more to it than that. For example, why didn't I just take the raksha with me? Last time you did this, there was cheesecake.

[58:15]

That's right. You can ask me questions. I thought you were going to ask what my planning line was. Don't you count your breaths? Because typically, I'm always low.

[59:17]

I sit on the pillow. That's the first thing that I go to, is to my breath. And I'm just sitting over here and I'm just thinking about that was before my planning. But I bring that planner online sometimes, right? And there's that recognition of being the planner. And I still kind of, there's a part of me that loves that. And I kind of don't want to give it up. I can feel that. And I bring that to my, and I realize when you said that, I bring that so right into my pillow. It's actually when I sit down. It's like that sense of, I'm here. I'm thinking about maybe going to silence and stillness. And my planners are here with me. One, two.

[60:18]

I want him to look at my head. Oh, there he is. So, you see what I mean? I didn't plan it. Am I going to the toilet? Also, I listen to the cries of the world. We have a call of nature. I listen to it. And it's saying, if you don't listen to me, you're not going to be able to listen to those people. So I went. And now I'm back. While you were gone, the topic of conversation was, people expected you to be counting your breaths and doing things like that. And that's what they were doing. And I was surprised by that. You were actually contemplating,

[61:21]

as opposed to trying to still your mind. Sometimes people use meditation or contemplating, you know, following breath. They use that as an aid in letting go of their thinking and calming down. And you don't need to do that anymore, or you don't? I don't need to do it. No, I'm already... I'm already calm. Maybe you've noticed. And also, sometimes people come to Zen Center and they hear about this contemplating sentient beings with eyes of compassion. They hear about practicing for the welfare of the world. And then they come and they tell me, you know, I must confess, I'm not here for the welfare of the world.

[62:23]

And I'm not trying to attain enlightenment so that I can be more skillful helping people. I'm here just to calm my mind. I'm just here to get through the day better. And then they say, can I stay here even though I don't really have Bodhisattva vow? And I say, yeah. But if you have the Bodhisattva vow, that's the thing that you contemplate. However, if you're agitated, maybe calm down first so that you can calmly contemplate your vow, your work. My job is to calmly, gently, openly, flexibly contemplate the Bodhisattva path. Now, if I were agitated, I might do a calming exercise. Something to help me let go of my thinking. Basically, letting go of your thinking, you become calm.

[63:25]

If your mind's agitated and you practice compassion towards your agitation, you calm down. If your mind's agitated and you're generous with the agitation, you calm down. And I'm, you know, I've got a mind, I've got thinking, but I'm pretty nice to my thinking. And because I'm nice to my thinking, my consciousness says, oh, since you're so nice to all this activity here, you can be calm. And I say, thank you. And they say, you can contemplate the Bodhisattva path if you want to now. Okay, I will. And when you're calm and you contemplate the path, you also then have insight. For example, if I'm practicing sentimental compassion, and I'm calm, and I contemplate it, I might see its effects. Insight into, oh, I kind of was being self-righteous there. I was kind of hung up on that, what I thought was a good thing to do. Oh, I think I'll let go of that.

[64:30]

And then if it gets let go, oh, now we're cooking here. I still have the idea, but I'm no longer holding on to it. So I can say, here's my idea, like we were talking about before. So a lot of people come to Zen Center who have not yet had this Bodhisattva vow arise in them, and so they don't have it to contemplate. It's not in them. But what they do have is perhaps a mind, and maybe they're willing to be kind to their own mind. And if they are, they'll calm down. And sometimes following your breath will help you be kind to your mind. Good answer. Thank you. Elizabeth? Why do you want to hear all the crying in the world? Why do I want to? Why do I want to hear it? Because I've heard, and I kind of trust it, that listening to the cries of the world

[65:34]

gives rise to an ocean of blessing beyond measure. This is a teaching from one of the big sutras. It's called the Lotus Sutra. And there's a chapter in there about a great Bodhisattva and the name of the Bodhisattva is listening to the cries of the world. So the Bodhisattva has a name which is the Bodhisattva's job description. And that's traditional Buddhism. Give people a name, that's their job. So I got a name from Suzuki Roshi, and the name I got is my job description. And Avalokiteshvara, I guess, got a name from Buddha, and Avalokiteshvara's job description is listen to the cries of the world. And doing that, or you could also observe, the actual character in Chinese is observe. Observe the cries.

[66:38]

So you can be listening or observing suffering beings, and this observation creates blessings. So that's, I'm trying to, I'm the blessing creation crew. And so one of the ways you create blessing is by listening to people and watching them with compassion. How does that happen? Tell them, Barry. Huh? No. How does it happen? Okay, I'll give you one more chance, one more. How does it happen that when you listen to the cries of the world, an ocean of blessing beyond measure is created? How does that happen? No. Listen to Kim. How does it happen, Kim? I don't know. I don't either. Sometimes Barry gets it right, sometimes not.

[67:40]

Exactly. And, but anyway, you can still say that, but that's a story. Whatever you were about to say was a story. So I could tell stories, but I'm not going to tell you stories of how things work. I'm going to just say that doing this practice creates blessings. And I want to create blessings, so I want to do that practice. How it happens, how it works, nobody knows, including Buddha. It's too marvelous and wonderful. That's why you can't stop it. That's why it's always here. No matter what you think about it, it doesn't reach it. So it's actually reality. And this kind of practice creates blessings and allows you to enter reality. And we're getting close to time to stop. And I just want to say that some of the people in this class were very sleepy tonight, and I really appreciate them hanging in there

[68:47]

through their sleepiness. I myself was not. But I did take a nap after lunch. I was very tired this morning, but I somehow... And somebody came to see me and he said, How are you? I said, I'm really tired. But I made it through the morning, and then at lunch, and then afterwards I took a nap, and so here I am. And I appreciate you coming to this inconceivable event. And nobody knows how this happened, but we're glad that it did, right? Thank you very much.

[69:40]

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