Someone said the other day, does our survival have any meaning? Or we can ask, does our practice have any meaning? Is there any purpose in what we're doing? I think there's some purpose, yet I try to express it. It's not so.

[01:07]

There's no purpose that we can think of, and if you think there's some purpose... It's not just a matter of levels. On one level, it's of no cosmic importance. That's true. and each of us individually are of no importance. And yet there's something we feel, something we want to do. You're all practicing pretty seriously, and Tathagatagarbha as a practice place is working pretty well.

[02:54]

That's an awful lot that we just and we're becoming and what's taking care of us now is more not something you can point out particular persons or even the way of life, but a process which, by our participation in it, is actually practice. But even so, sometimes I

[03:54]

feel some maybe resignation, you know, maybe despair is too strong a word, but some resignation that you are always comparing this and that, finding out, you know, what you should do. And I feel some impatience sometimes with the impediments in your practice, the problems you have, which are so simple and you could solve them so easily.

[05:15]

And it could be what you realize by, but you can't yet face it. So sometimes I'm impatient with being caught. And sometimes I'm concerned you're going too quickly, you're understanding too soon. So you'll think there's some end of our practice. And practice itself is a word which I think stands in our way.

[06:28]

doesn't mean... Or we give it some... I don't know quite how to explain. We give it... I don't mean that we should give up the idea of practice or give up practice, but that we use practice as a way not to realize. as a way to struggle with things, so to continue things. Practice comes to mean I think you know what I mean from what I said already.

[07:37]

But we should also know some bhagavatakayas are independent Sometimes it's translated as body of enjoyment or bliss body. This, you can't say, it's not struggling or practicing. It's its own justification, self-realized. I don't know, those words aren't quite right. I think with the Shuso ceremony coming up tomorrow, it's very difficult for me to express what the Shuso ceremony is.

[09:13]

Of course it is, as it happens, but it happens according to our ideas about it. And if I try to describe it the way a Japanese priest would describe it, you'll have the wrong idea. And so if I try to counter that description in our way of speaking, also the wrong idea. As we have with this idea of being an individual or a group practice, it's almost impossible without minute philosophical analysis to show in any articulate way the various group, an individual participating in a group, an individual who is able to feel through the group, or both simultaneously.

[10:34]

There are various possibilities. Right now, of course, we just practically are living together here, so having some experience of how to accommodate ourselves to others. Or let me speak about it from another way. Suzuki Roshi always talked about how we suffer, or how we live, and not why we suffer. This is pretty important, because where does the question come from?

[11:40]

Why do we suffer? Or why is such-and-such this way? Why is life like this? Or, what is it? You say, what is it? Don't you trust your own senses? You perceive something. Where's the gap of what? What is it? Why is it so? There's some gap there. Why do we create that gap? Do we have some idea that there's some fixed reality to know, some ultimate attainment to achieve? So there's some point at which we know it exactly? And how do we get this sense of an individual?

[12:51]

who isn't known or wants to be known. And we link it somehow with procreation, as if maybe we look for our mate as the person who will know us. What's the connection there? What is this private individual we have an idea of that needs to be known? Actually, there's nothing private, you know. If you think you're able to go through life, even with private pieces of paper, when you die, someone looks up and, oh, he said this. Everything will be there. Or, you know, in the Bible, the Bible says, Jonathan knew David.

[14:05]

And often this is interpreted that Jonathan and David knew each other sexually, because we make the connection between conjugal knowing and knowing. But again, what idea of ourselves do we have? Is it that we think we're not known until we can express things a certain way and someone else can understand it? Is that some condition of being real or alive? Or do we not know what can't be known? Or do we think things can only be known through a certain media, that everything isn't already known? Someone pointed out a few weeks ago the relationship between being thankful and thoughtful.

[15:27]

He's thoughtful. He's very thoughtful. It's like being thankful. Between think and thank. It seems so. And when a book is, when you write a book, what's the first thing in the book is usually the dedication, who it's dedicated to. Maybe that means that's the most important thing in the book. Or maybe if you've ever tried to write something or paint something, or work with something, there's been a muse. You know, not maybe three goddesses that appear to you and suggest what to do, which would be very nice, but something that may be very mundane if you actually express it, something that works for you, has some power, energy for you, which actually if you express

[16:49]

will be laughed at or not understood or laughed at only because you take it so seriously, and on the surface it's just an ordinary pebble. Some combination of words, say, which produce a novel, But that combination of words can't be in the novel. So there's no reason why we should be here at all, why your life should even exist, why Zen Center should exist, why we should have a meal, why this floor should hold us up.

[18:10]

There's no reason why it should exist. That it exists is something miraculous that you should be thankful for. And our thought, our pure thought, is a constant recognition on this level or in this way, a gratefulness, some gratitude, some dedication. Most of the sutras or practice start out with a dedication, or we chant, you know, we venerate the three treasures, or I guess you say we pay homage to the three treasures But what's the first word, homage or venerate? I mean, that's maybe the most important. There should be some thankfulness for whatever you have.

[19:11]

When Suzuki Roshi had cancer even, he said, So in the context of thankfulness, we should be quite tough with each other. It's so difficult for me to say that, because if I say tough with each other, I don't know what And if I say just you should be thankful with each other, you'll go around saying the most mushy things to each other, and it'll all be unreal and loving and sweet.

[20:22]

That's not what I mean either. So thankfulness is also connected with knowing, to know, to recognize. So our practice is to recognize how we are right now, how we exist on this moment, with some independence and confidence. You know, I think when I see how people behave.

[21:25]

One of the most common things people do, which I could describe this way, is everybody they know, including themselves, they cut out in cardboard, and they paint their characteristics on them, and then they paint, stand them up, you know, in a little piece of cardboard behind, and then they figure out. I want to do such and such, and I will try to weave between these pieces of cardboard, getting this one to help me, avoiding that one, etc. And for most of us, this process is okay, because it's only something we do, but we give this cardboard figure life. Actually, we respond to it. We don't just limit ourselves to our cardboard cutout of each person, which we do to make ourselves safe.

[22:36]

Which one might hurt us? Which one would be nice to us? Which one is friendly to us? Which one is intelligent? Which one is stupid? Which one will I feel people think I'm funny if I'm friends with? Which one will people think I'm great if I'm friends with? That kind of turning everyone into cardboard figures and then plopping a course between them. But we give it life. But some people are so timid or scared that they actually don't give it life. So they take one or two steps, check out all the cardboard figures. They're all in the same place, they take another two or three steps, check out all the cardboard figures, and take another two or three steps. And they live in this way. And it must be very scary. Like behind every cardboard figure lurks a tiger, or a jungle tree, or something.

[23:40]

So, such a person has a feeling of acting very unnatural. But actually, we all do that kind of thing, unable to trust our own thoughts, our own perceptions. You can't worry about anything unless you do that kind of cutting out. You have to cut out and objectify to worry about, oh, this is, or that one. And for some reason, gratitude or thankfulness and work are closely linked.

[24:46]

People who feel just gratitude are always the people who want to work, something to do. There must be something. If I see what should be done, I'll do it. So something like that is at the basis of our practice. The question, will we exist forever, or is there any meaning, is irrelevant. Actually, what we experience is some thankfulness, amazement at being here. And isn't there something we should do? As the fifth patriarch said to the fifth patriarch. My mind is a field of blessedness in which wisdom constantly arises.

[25:56]

My mind is a field of blessedness which does not stray, in which wisdom constantly arises. I don't know what you'll give me to do. There's no cardboard figures there. No individual or group. So, in the shuso ceremony, which we are learning, you know, how to do, not just the shuso ceremony, how to practice with each other. The Shusel ceremony is one of the times when it's more clear.

[27:00]

Ed Brown is here, and he's the Shusel that practices. And he's been living here at Tassajara for most of the last six years, about. Six or six and a half years. 1966, maybe you came. 1966, 1973, 70 almost. So for seven years he's been trying, almost seven years, been trying to practice. And practicing. And taking care of Tathagata in many ways.

[28:11]

Most of the time, as you know, he took care of the kitchen. When we had a very tiny room over there, which is gone now, he cooked for. Practice period. Much bigger than this. Twenty more students or so. And the kitchen was one-third, maybe, the size of this one. And we didn't have any idea of diet or what to do or how to. Kitchen should be run. Actually, that Ed Brown died. He couldn't survive. I think this is someone different. No one could have done that. continue Tassajara and practice Suzuki Roshi's way, and how much energy he and so many people put into making Tassajara here for you.

[29:39]

And he's still here, and now he's been trying to take care of this practice and your practice, each of yours, So we should be, excuse me for saying so, but we should be quite thankful to Ed. You can't measure that kind of work. And for him, this is only the beginning. many years in which he will be practicing with people. And so you also have some responsibility to help him now encounter what he will encounter.

[30:46]

This is the best place for that. So you should ask him real questions that you don't know the answer to, that you feel deeply about, and questions which demand him to Find some way to respond. Find what he doesn't know himself. What we are encountering now is always child's play compared to what we will encounter.

[32:04]

the stronger we become, the more we enter in to each person's suffering, each person's life. And only by independent Sambhogakaya body can we do this. Which, as I said, is a body of enjoyment. So feelings, maybe feelings are, we say, this is one of those confusing points, that in Buddhism we say, get rid of your feelings. What reality is there to your feelings? Does it make any difference that you feel this or that? There should be some detachment, anger or love or something. What we feel about things is unimportant. Whether we like the taste of this or that is unimportant.

[33:09]

That's very true. And if you can't be free of likes and dislikes and those kinds of preferences and feelings, you will always live huddled. but feelings that aren't a matter of likes and dislikes. I don't know quite how to express it, you know, again. Something like knowing or thankfulness or gratitude. Or one sensation, knowing, seeing, understanding, recognizing, loving, anger, but that kind of anger you see in Fudo Myo or Achala, some fierce anger of shape-up, cut through that stuff.

[34:27]

Some expectation for people to realize themselves, all those combined in one feeling. So we divide it up here and there, you know, as it's necessary during the day to participate with people. But it shouldn't be some feeling that you're involved in, good or bad, or me, my feelings. This whole individual thing as it's mostly pushed in our school system and our common idea of achievement is a sham. You know, as that high school principal of the Indian, you know, I told you that the other night. She said, we can't get these Indian boys to be individually motivated because they always want to share. So our idea of individual

[35:37]

motivation or achievement isn't individual or private at all. It's mostly, how can I make myself more known? How can I more relate to the group by having the group admire me because I've achieved such and such? So you produce a lot of work for some company or laboratory and someone makes a great deal of money. Anyway, it's a way of getting everyone to act like bees, our idea of bees. to produce and achieve. So what I mean by independence is not that So somehow, tomorrow, Ed will be Fuso.

[36:58]

And each of you will ask him some question. And he, in his own independence, his own movement, will respond. But that is so... Although so independent, it's so intimately related to each of our ability to be independent. That's independence, where you've shaken everything free, you know, and at the same time, intimately related to everyone. And the day after the day after tomorrow, Saturday, we start Rohatsu Sashin. which is the, as you all know, most important Sashin in the Zen world each year.

[38:08]

And you should be getting prepared for that Sashin. Concentrating now being ready to sit unmoving and uninterruptedly for seven days without any dodging the difficulty. Without worrying about your health or whether you're going to get enough sleep or whether it's going to be cold just you're going to do it that's all for that strength you have by the way I wanted to say that it's getting it is getting a little colder it's not very cold yet

[39:30]

It's not very cold at all, but some of you seem to feel more comfortable if you, while you're carrying the stick or serving, wear socks. And that's okay if you want to, when you're carrying the stick or wearing sock or serving, you want to wear socks. Sometimes it's funny when you have three pairs on, but One pair should be enough. You really don't need them yet, but if you want to wear them, it's okay. Later on, when it gets to be 15 or so here, if it gets that cold this year, it's like walking on ice. It burns your feet almost, it feels like. But somehow, most of the physical trouble with cold comes in the spring when it starts to warm up. Last year all the chill blades were in the spring, when it was pretty warm, not in the cold time.

[40:35]

But you, even though it's okay to wear socks, you should of course take them off when you do zazen, you should not have your feet wrapped up when you do zazen, that's pretty important. And you should know that you should be able to have heat in your feet and hands. They're not over there, unconnected to you. You should be able to have energy and warmth in your hands and feet. Of course, I know always our state of mind is preoccupied. And if your state of mind is preoccupied, you can't have warm hands and feet. And it's not always possible to have an unpreoccupied mind.

[41:41]

It's quite natural sometimes to have an occupied mind. We don't want to freeze our hands off. It's okay to wear socks sometimes. But it should be done with the sense of, as you should dress during the cold time, not with one extra layer for sure, one extra layer just in case it's colder than you think it might be. More you should dress just enough or a little less than you think. But I don't mean you should arrived in Milarepa's one thin cotton cloth. Please dress warm enough. Don't torture yourself. Is there something you want to talk about?

[42:52]

And a chicken is a pencil? Mm-hmm. You need to eat, too? Because Mrs. Black will be hungry in New York if you don't eat, too. I know that doesn't answer your question very well. Am I still participating?

[44:43]

Before you die, are you participating? Anyway. Anyway, before you die, you're still participating. If you're participating before you die, you're participating after you die. I don't think you know what I mean, but... I don't think you... I think just ask him for help.

[46:35]

When you think you need him, ask him for help. He said, how do we realize? How do I realize? How does one realize? Achala or Fudo Myo. When we're timid or because we might be timid or something like that. I said, just ask him for help. About a person? It doesn't. Did you hear what she said? No. She said, is it useful for me? Me? Anyone? Me? Yeah.

[47:36]

Is it useful for me to know personal history? It doesn't help me. It doesn't make any difference in my understanding of the person, but it gives me something to talk about. In other words, it supplies some common ground for talking. And it's also rather curious. If you realize it's not your history, then it's rather curious. Do you understand what I mean? I have no personal history. I can't remember anything, but there are lots of funny stories I can tell. Yesterday in study hall I read words, where there is great need there is great use, where there is little need there is little use.

[48:55]

After that, we drove up the road and followed her. A girl drove down the road toward us. She asked how she could join the community. I just felt that, you know, my whole practice period, the whole practice period and everything else was a bad picture for a certain amount of time. I kept thinking of possible questions. It destroyed it. It seems like I don't have time to prepare another question.

[50:27]

Even for that girl? Or even for Ed? Or even for Ed? Whose question is it? I'm going to be able to help.

[51:32]

If it doesn't get to the river, I'm going to have a hard time. It's like a rain in the sun. I'm going to have to get back. I'm going to have to take my daughter and sister's family and help them. I'm going to have to get down. I'm going to have to get somebody down to help. Well, the word nation was the most objected to word in the former meal chants. So it's interesting to change it because then we get people to defend it. Before it had no one defend it. But I think it's okay not to have it there for several reasons. One is, in previous countries, Buddhism, in order to survive under the kind of government it had, had to justify itself as being of service to the state. Kobo Daishi, who was the founder of the Shingon sect, who's a contemporary of Padmasambhava, Shingon is tantric Buddhism for Japan,

[52:49]

He built temples and did everything as this Buddhism was going to protect the state and make Japan powerful. And almost every teacher except Dogen related the practice to the protecting of the state and the government and the leaders. this as a whole has not helped Buddhism in any country that has done it. So there's some, that's the reason the word nation's in there, mostly. But we could put the word nation in there for other reasons, any entity we could name. But nation is an entity which mostly has the sense for, which has the sense for most people of something opposed to other nations.

[54:22]

We have to have a good this nation needs a good balance of trade or needs a balance of payments in its favor, that kind of thing. So I don't think that if we say people, that that excludes nation. I think we should, above the boundaries of us and our parents and teachers, we should think of all people, not of some political division. But it's true, this country needs some help, but everybody needs some help. This country is not independent. We help this country. For this country we may sacrifice something else. As for why we don't chant homage to the sadharma-pundarika sutra anymore is for a number of reasons.

[55:28]

One is That's the ten names of Buddha. So, with the Mahapundarika Sutra, there's eleven. So now it's back to ten. We say, chant the ten names of Buddha. What we chant now is the classic ten names of Buddha. There's another ten names of Buddha, which is more complicated. This is the usual ten names of Buddha chant. The Mahaprajñāpārmita Sutra is a figure, a woman, Mother Prajñā or Great Mother or anyway it's personified as a Buddha. But also the perfection of wisdom is the Tathāgata.

[56:29]

Tathāgata is a another name for the perfection of wisdom or the Prajnaparamita. So it's a way of saying Tathagata or Vairochana. For us it's Tathagata. Perfect perfection of wisdom is Vairochana, the most wide Buddha which this is. But to put the Sardama Pundarika Sutra is partly Tendai understanding because Tendai system puts the Sardarmapundarika Sutra taught. But it's also that there's various esoteric teachings about it, because the ten names of Buddha should also represent Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. So there's some meaning to putting the Sardarmapundarika Sutra in, to make the chant complete to also represent Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha.

[57:32]

But those kinds of things are some person-to-person teaching, which means that you vary that sutra, that chant, according to the circumstances. Sometimes we'll chant it with, in most cases we should chant ten names, I think. At least that's my feeling now. At some point in Soto history, and not other sects, that one with the sardama-pundarika sutra became the one everyone chanted. But Sota has many esoteric sides to it. Even Dogen's teaching, as you may know, was kept as a secret book until recently, until the 19th century, I believe, and some parts were only released in this century. But there's many sides. So Sota has a various secret teachings, shall we say, that are there if you're alert, but if you're not so alert, you don't notice.

[58:34]

And that is some esoteric teaching, why Maha, why the Sardarmapundarita Sutra is there. And Soto then began using it all the time because everybody knew what it meant. But classically, the Ten Names of Buddha does not have it. It's only ten and doesn't have it. That's complicated, I'm sorry. Yeah. Evelyn? If you say no.

[60:25]

Do you have to say yes or no? Can't you just be neutral? Being neutral is pretty good. It gives everything its independence. If you say yes or no, it's like pushing the boat off from the dock or tying it up to the dock. But if you say, don't say anything, you don't know what that boat will do. You may go for a ride somewhere.

[61:42]

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