Last week I talked at both San Francisco and Green Gulch, here in the farm, about a non-repeatable universe. In the experience we had at Tassajara with Dr. Abe, trying to pin something down like, is there reincarnation? And you're practicing now, you know, and many of you

[01:09]

are laymen, and many of you only practice in some occasional fashion. And so, how we practice and why we practice are sometimes it seems almost impossible questions to answer. I suppose most of us do so, actually, because we find it's the most satisfying or deepest way to exist with other people, with everything. But how to give some response to somebody who either doesn't have a feel

[02:20]

for practice or is suspicious of it or can't make a distinction, can't see the distinction or the real meaning of the distinction between doing everything just as it is and, if so, why practice? So, we see the world in two aspects, mind and body or objective and subjective, but actually these distinctions don't exist between mind and body and subjective and objective. They're very tentative distinctions. Your

[03:28]

actual experience is, I think, that the way that their relationship is very tentative. Of course, for us, in Zen school, we emphasize doing Zazen beyond thinking. Zazen in which we, on the one hand, accept or maybe a better word than accept is receive, receive everything as it is. And also, we stay with whatever it is. We don't try to change situations. And within that space of staying, many worlds exist. And we do Zazen in addition to accepting

[04:47]

or receiving everything as it is, we also are ready for whatever it might be. We don't want to be hopping around in the world on one leg. Zen is, you know, many people I know who lead quite active or busy lives in New York or San Francisco, who've been trying to practice Zen for many years, now are changing to Maharishi's way. First, it was very young people who practiced Maharishi's way and older people, more or less, who practiced

[05:53]

Zen. And now, many older people are trying to practice Maharishi's way that I know anyway. By the way, if you move up a little, there's some space here for people in the back to sit down. It's like being on the beach, it's like ocean waves coming and you ripple back and forth. Anyway, the Maharishi's way is a good way to practice. I met the Maharishi

[07:09]

once and I was quite impressed with him. And also, I know many people who practice his way and it's very helpful to them. Zen is rather different, in some ways, in the degree to which it tries to be unprogrammed. So, Zen, people sometimes say, well, why don't we do ... I did a wedding, you know, with a rabbi. It was Chris and Jack Weller I married.

[08:10]

It was wonderful to do the wedding with this rabbi. We decided we were Judas priests or something. Anyway, the Jewish wedding was very up, you know. It gets more and more excited and joyful. And then you smash a glass at the end and we had this canopy. And the Buddhist wedding is very solemn. Essentially, we ordained the couple, you know. And it's very tempting, you know, to ... we could inject a little bit of dancing or something into Zen Center, you know. But the point of view of Zen, you know, is that you can dance anywhere, but where can you remove all distractions? So, instead of giving you something to do, you know,

[09:17]

especially when you are just becoming familiar with yourself for the first few years, actually, that takes, there's nothing to do but sit there, you know. You count your breaths or you follow your breathing. And I think it can get pretty boring to sit there with yourself like that. There's no reason to do it and when you sit down to do it, there's nothing to do, you know. But if we give you something to do, you know, we distract you from that really being ready. Because in the end, Zen is only interested in your ultimate satisfaction or some ultimate joy, not some conditioned joy. And it's not far away. It's right here. But anyway,

[10:22]

practically speaking, for most of you, it's not right here. If you practice Zazen with this and you're able to stay with the practice of Zazen, no matter how boring it is, waiting or staying. Staying is one side, you know. Being ready is one side. Accepting or receiving is another side. And waiting. Just waiting, not even being ready. I mean, not even readiness of something for what it is,

[11:36]

you know. Maybe ready and waiting are almost the same. Eventually, you'll find that you no longer can quite distinguish between mind and body or objective and subjective. There's some subtle gradation of so-called mind and so-called body, you know. You no longer can say, this is mind and that's body, or this is just mind or just body, you know. And I think most people experience mind and body, you know, and don't experience them actually as something that

[12:39]

you can't distinguish one from the other. Anyway, in such a way, everything becomes more and more undetermined. So how can you survive in such an undetermined situation? We don't know what mind is and we don't know what body is and everything is repeating, moment after moment, but not exactly the same. How to find your place? How to find your existence? So, Rinzai had four ways, you know. He tried to practice with people. One is he would take

[13:43]

away the subjective, take away the man and leave the objective situation. So if he found you expressing something that had some subjective, some personally oriented perception of it, he would take it away in some way. So how can you exist in a completely objective world? And what is objective world exactly? The other way he had was he would take away objective and leave subjective. Maybe this means some new kind of subjective,

[14:50]

which isn't disturbed by outer circumstances. And third is he took away both subjective and objective. Speak! In that kind of way, generally we freeze, you know, some clinging to a kind of consciousness. We want to have some continuity, some control over our situation. And the fourth, of course, is you leave subjective and objective alone. Any way you are is okay,

[15:54]

anything you do is okay. Though he has some verse, you know, the king ascends his throne and the peasants sing. Any way it is, is all right. But that last, any way it is, is all right, means that such a man can have the objective situation taken away or subjective situation taken away. Then what kind of man is there? What kind of person is there? Rinzai said you shouldn't seek outwardly, shouldn't seek outside

[17:09]

yourself or put other heads above your own. And you should be master of yourself under any circumstances. Then in such a situation, if something unexpected happens, you're not turned about by it. And he says in that same statement, whatever objective situation you are is sure to be a, he didn't say the, he said a real one. But how, what he means by circumstances is not subjective or objective, but existing, being ready for, existing in, ready in that world

[18:27]

which is beyond thinking. So, as, when Manjushri asked, as I talked about last Saturday, Manjushri asked Vimalakirti, how should we view living beings? He doesn't. Vimalakirti answered, as an illusionist views an illusion. That's really interesting. He doesn't say as an illusion. He says as an illusionist views an illusion. And then he says, as a wise man views the reflection of the

[19:39]

illusion in water, or as seeing your face in a mirror. Can, I mean, it's interesting, usually we read those things and I think you think that, well, it means that everything is transitory or illusory, it's just a reflection. But from this Vimalakirti is saying, this is real, or as real as anything else. So, likewise, Manjushri, Rinzai talking about Manjushri, a different kind of Manjushri than is in the Vimalakirti Sutra, but the

[20:40]

Manjushri that sits in the Zendo representing wisdom, not as something you can seek here and there, but as some unmovable place in yourself. But not place in yourself, but we have no words to describe it, some non-dual, not subjective or objective or material or immaterial, mind or body. So, Tozan, to go back to the poem I talked about at Green Gulch, Tozan's poem, his teacher, Ungan Dojo, said, Tozan asked him,

[21:54]

When you have entered nirvana or when I am separated from you, how can I portray your teaching, if someone asks? And Ungan Dojo says, Just this one is. And then there was some, in the various versions of the story, supposedly there was some silence for a while, and then Ungan Dojo said, You should be careful in this, you're carrying something.

[23:11]

So, anyway, Tozan left and went walking to wherever he was going, and he crossed a stream, and when he crossed the stream, he saw his reflection, and what he felt when he saw his reflection is expressed in a poem, which he left, which goes, Don't look elsewhere. Don't put other heads above your own. Just this one is. Don't look elsewhere. If you do look elsewhere, truth will be farther and farther away from you. And then the next line is, two lines are quite interesting, he said, Alone I proceed through myself, and everywhere I meet him. I meet him everywhere.

[24:30]

So, this is just the opposite of the repeatable universe, you know, that we talked about, of Safeway apples, which each one is exactly alike and there's nothing inside, and a specific apple from a specific place. We're in a world where we try to make our experience correlate with other people's experience, or try to explain our experience to ourself. Is there such a thing as reincarnation? Did so-and-so experience this? When you give up this repeatable self, this universal self, what practices Buddhism is absolutely unique, non-repeatable?

[25:40]

Each moment, each moment, each enlightenment. So, Tozan said, Alone I proceed through myself. Then he said, And I meet him everywhere. I meet him everywhere. There's no separation, you know. We have … There's an interesting little poem on the side of a … supposedly written by Irish monks who were illuminating manuscripts, and they wrote poems on the side occasionally. And Samuel Barber has set some of them to music, translated by Auden and other people. And the last one they put on the record, you know, the last line is, Alone I came into the world, and alone I shall go from it.

[26:54]

It's a very romantic feeling, some strong feeling, but it's also rather funny, you know, because you can't exactly come into the world alone. There's some ladies involved, and so what do we mean by alone? Many of you have this kind of problem with what your relationship to people are, you know, alone or friends or separate or together. Anyway, Tozan said, Alone I proceed through myself, and everywhere I meet him. And then, referring to the reflection in the water, he said, He is me, and yet I am not him.

[27:58]

And then he said, If you don't understand this, or only if you can understand this, can you know things in absolute reality. But Suzuki Roshi, speaking about this poem, said, Tozan saw his reflection with some warm, kind-hearted feeling. Or, in Buddhism we don't just talk about awareness, but appreciative awareness to some warm feeling in practice. So, there's experience in practice is maybe like Tozan's.

[29:19]

Statement that something silently responds to all things. So, in our asazen practice we enter more and more this space which is not mind or body or objective or subjective, but a realm in which maybe the most you can say is something silently responds to all things. Silently means the void, but your path, you know, what we practice with is your actual act.

[30:37]

You can think all you want about getting up in the morning, and maybe Proust wrote a number of volumes about getting up in the morning, or thinking about getting up in the morning, or deciding to stay in bed, or something. But your actual life, your actual practice, the only thing that exists is getting up, actually. That's very simple and you understand that, you know. Maybe you don't really believe it because the process of thinking about getting up is rather interesting, too. But in the end, life is quite simple as it's just a matter of what you do. But how to do that, how to act without it being something you're trying to, you know, if you get up and you're trying to manipulate the events, you're still asleep.

[31:55]

If you get up without any care about what kind of day or what the situation is or how you're going to meet it, just whatever it is. Maybe then you're actually up. Do you have some questions? How do you tell getting up or doing something, enhancing the attachment to your own life or just you doing it?

[33:05]

Do you feel like you're walking a tightrope? Do you feel like you're walking a tightrope? One way is to sit back down on the tightrope, maybe even take a nap. You know, if you're always, like you, ask questions, you don't wait for me to say, Maybe you're going to jump off the tightrope, you know, sit down, it's okay. Yeah, tightrope is always there. Yeah?

[34:40]

A thinking dualism? What do you mean by thinking dualism? Well, if you say anything, it's dualism. So, zen is how to express something so that even though it's dualistic, it points toward non-dualism. So, alone I proceed through myself and meet him everywhere, is that kind of statement. But exactly, zen stories are rather interesting.

[35:42]

You know, one story I like is, see if I can remember it, after maybe 96 attempts to express his understanding to Tozan, this monk failed every time, every time what he expressed was dualistic, was splitting up subject and object. And he was very determined, according to the story, and he had a close friend that had been practicing with him too for many years, and they were both very determined together. 96 attempts is a lot, many of you haven't made one, you know, 96. So, Tozan finally recognized him, and he said,

[36:49]

why didn't you say that sooner? And his friend had been listening, was near, you know, and his friend didn't catch exactly what his friend said. So he began asking him, please tell me, please, what did you say? Please tell me what you said. And his friend wouldn't answer. So finally, when his friend was quite sick, and he was afraid he was going to die and he'd never find out what he said, he took a hatchet, something like that, and came to him and said, you're going to die sooner than you expect if you don't tell me. And his friend was quite terrified, you know, and he said, oh, wait, wait, wait, just a minute, I'll tell you in just a minute, just put that hatchet away. So, he put the hatchet away,

[37:53]

and then he said sort of timorously, you know, even if I bring it out now, you won't understand. And his friend had some kind of understanding at that point. There's another story like that. Suzuki Roshi, I've told you this several times, but I should tell you right now again, I think. Suzuki Roshi noticed somebody who'd been practicing Zen for many, many years sitting in the audience where he gave a lecture at Stanford, I believe. And he'd never met him before, but obviously this man had been practicing for many years. But had some doubt still, you know, some problem. So, at the end of the lecture, Suzuki Roshi went out, and this man got up and came out,

[38:54]

and Suzuki Roshi said like this to him, you know. So, he didn't understand exactly why this man who'd just given this lecture beckoned to him to come. But he went with him, and Suzuki Roshi took him into a little alcove. And in the alcove, he pointed at his head three times. Like that. And then Suzuki Roshi turned and walked out. So, when Suzuki Roshi was quite sick, maybe two or three weeks before he died, this man came to me and said, I must see Suzuki Roshi. At that time, it was rather difficult to see him. And he said, I have this problem I've had for many years now. What did he mean? So, he went in to see Suzuki Roshi, and he had a very enjoyable visit, and he came out smiling, and it was wonderful to talk to him. He's so present, you know, unchanged.

[39:56]

And I said, well, what about your question? He said, well, Suzuki Roshi said he didn't remember. So, Suzuki Roshi also was, another story on the other side of that dualism trip is, Suzuki Roshi had a teacher who was named Komuzawa Zenji. I don't know if the Komuzawa Buddhist University was named for him, but Komuzawa Zenji was a very serious, famous Zen master, head of Eheji practice at that time. And during a sesshin, when all the young students were sitting very earnestly, Komuzawa Zenji gave a teisho, a lecture.

[41:00]

And he said, I want you to think about this story. And he said, a sparrow breaks a stone tori. Tori is a Shinto gate. He said, a sparrow breaks a stone gate, and they all, he repeated it several times, you know. Then he said, do you understand? None of them, they didn't understand anything, but they practiced, you know. And years later, Suzuki Roshi found out that it was a complete joke. It wasn't a Zen story at all. He just made it up, you know. Suzuki Roshi thought it was very funny that he should do that.

[42:03]

He thought so. Do you know the story about how he died, Komuzawa Zenji? No? Anyway, Suzuki Roshi also liked this story very much. Komuzawa Zenji was quite nearly almost dead, you know. And he woke up, and he reached out for the pitcher of water. And the jisha tried to hand it to him, and he took it. And he took the pitcher, and he drank, and then he threw it in the air and went, and died. Oh, yes. Oh, he did it again. Anyway, Suzuki Roshi thought it was very interesting,

[43:05]

because this man could be humorous. He said, reality is kind of serious and not so real, but humor is quite real, he said. Anyway, in a situation like this, you know, in a non-repeatable universe in which you don't even know which is a Zen story and which isn't. It's up to you. You have to figure it out, you know. So, anyway, thank you very much.

[43:43]

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