original nature. And tonight I want to say that we are, we are intimate communion. We are an intimate communion of the whole universe, with the whole universe. We include the whole universe and we are included in the whole universe. And this statement is, it's both stating a teaching about an object of devotion,

[01:00]

and it's also a teaching about what we are. We are experience, experience is us. All of our experiences are this intimate transmission of the whole with the whole. This is our original nature. This interpenetration and mutual inclusion of all things with us, and with us in all things, and all other beings included and including all things, this is our original true nature. And we can be devoted to this and through, and attend to it, and remember it, and realize it.

[02:06]

So I'd like to say tonight that if we want to awaken to our original nature, we can become awakened to it by teaching and being taught by others. And in particular, by teaching about our original nature and being taught by others about our original nature. And the practice of us right now, by teaching others right now, and being taught by others right now, that realizes, that awakens us to our original nature.

[03:12]

And this teaching has two particular realms, which I want to mention. One is intrapsychic realm or subjective realm. It's like teaching and being taught within our consciousness. Subjective, intrapsychic. And the other is an interpersonal or intersubjective realm. So in the intersubjective or the interpersonal, we also are teaching and being taught. So both within our consciousness and beyond our consciousness, the way we are teaching and being taught

[04:22]

awakens and realizes our original nature, which is also called Buddhahood. So to awaken to Buddhahood is to teach and be taught by others. So to awaken to Buddhahood is to teach by others. I reviewed last time what we had covered for earlier parts of last year. And part of the reason for that is to remind us that of the ongoing practice of compassion with all that's appearing within consciousness. Being compassionate with all of our conscious experience

[05:30]

of ourself and others makes possible us to teach and be taught. It makes possible for us to join in the actual process of teaching and being taught. I got some feedback from our first session. Some people said they wanted me to give more teachings. And so I've only given a little bit of teaching tonight. I'm wondering what more teachings shall I give at the beginning? Well, one teaching that comes to mind is many of you have heard of the expression, the finger pointing to the moon.

[06:33]

So, and then people often say, well, the finger is not the moon. But the finger is being used provisionally or temporarily or expediently. It's being used to point to the moon. So it's not exactly the same as the finger is the moon, but when I or you use the finger as an expedient provisional means to point to the moon, then the finger, the pointing is in your practice. You're practicing pointing. And in that way, your practice of pointing to the moon

[07:46]

is the moon in your practice. The pointing is provisional. The moon is the ultimate truth. But the ultimate truth comes alive in your practice when you point to it. And the ultimate truth is identical to your provisionally pointing it out in your practice. And the way that you point out the moon in your practice the way you point out the Buddhahood in your practice is the same way that others are simultaneously having the Buddhahood pointed out to them in their practice.

[08:53]

Thank you. Right now, I ask you, are you teaching? Are you being taught? Are you both teaching and being taught? Are you both being taught and teaching? And I see a yellow hand. Jeremy? Evening, Reb. Evening, everyone. You left, we left you last week asked to consider intimately transmitted. And during sitting beforehand, a story came to mind,

[10:25]

and which after you now given a teaching, the earlier one seems apt. And I'd like to share this story. It was 30 years ago on a train sitting coincidentally opposite to young art students. I've been an art student myself. And we got into a conversation that lasted a long train journey. And although I'd had more time to acquire knowledge and to consider the things that we talked about, I got off the train and thought, this is teaching.

[11:27]

I wanna be a teacher. And so set about substituting in the Bay Area and then falling in with getting a job teaching. I didn't get back to that conversational ability for a few years. It took some years of training, but after a few years, I could let all the noise in my head go away, hear what my students were saying and enter into a conversation as a class. And it was always a wonderful and very joyful event. And it was always a reminder of why I wanted to

[12:32]

so-called teach. But when you're in a circumstance like that, who's leading and who's following shifts. It's just very, very dynamic, but there's certainly a sense of losing self within the dynamism of a group of people, which I miss actually. That was my story. Thank you. That story is a description of our original nature. And also, I think I might've mentioned last time that at the beginning of the year, a number of people wrote me a request.

[13:33]

They wrote out a request. They requested me to continue to teach this year. So I've been called to teach, but the call for me to teach is also a teaching. It's teaching me that I'm being asked to teach. But I'm also being asked to be taught. I'm being asked to be taught what to teach. I think your story is very similar to that, Jeremy. I don't actually, I do wanna teach,

[14:39]

but I can only teach if I'm being taught. Yes, absolutely. Thank you. Also, I'd like to just pause for a moment. One of the members of our assembly named May Chu, whose Buddhist name is Radiant Ocean. She had a major surgery today. And I want to stop for a moment now and silently contemplate her good health

[15:41]

and her wellbeing in this great assembly. Thank you. Thank you.

[16:53]

May you be well, May Chu. May you return to this assembly soon. Also, I want to recognize Linda Hess is here. Thank you. Any teachings anyone cares to offer? Barbara, Joan, and Jeff.

[18:17]

Hello, great assembly. So I'm offering a creative writing workshop to children who are seven and eight years old for the first time in quite a few years in person. And I was very excited and it's been going really well. But there's one little boy who absolutely will not write. He won't even put the pencil on the paper and I'm teaching writing. And we're talking about the senses and we're brainstorming and they're writing and they're reading. And I let him sit in the rocking chair because it was really clear he needed soothing. He carries a pillow with him. And I finally spoke with his mother and she said, if he's sitting through the whole hour and a half session, then that's all I want. And I thought, I need to open up

[19:27]

to what teaching this child writing actually is and not be dependent on the outcome. So this one, I said, sorry, Bella's writing also. I said, would you like to play with Legos? Because he's very interested in Legos and his eyes lit up and he said, yeah. And I said, well, I also want you to write because I was trying to make an agreement with him. And he said, what if I took each Lego and made it into letters and spelled something with the characters? And I was like, it really, I think sometimes or I have felt my nature being multiple.

[20:29]

And so on the one hand, he expressed this on the one hand he's a little boy wanting to play Lego. And on the other hand, he's a sophisticated abstract thinker who can create something to make up for the gap in the penmanship aspect. And as his teacher, part of my job is to make sure is to help bridge the distance between the personas. And I felt like he did that for me without any it's so easy in that way with children because their true nature, I think is more accessible at least if we listen carefully and I've been trying to do that. So I wanted to share that. We'll see what story he writes with Legos. Well, you said their true nature or his true nature

[21:36]

but what I'm trying to emphasize is that the true nature was in this interaction, which made you make this gesture that what his response to you suddenly someone else said made the teacher very dynamic. He was teaching you. Yeah. But his nature is not his. His nature is what you two did together. And that's the same nature that you have. So true nature is the engagement of each nature. And the realization that comes out of that. It's that communion you told us about between you and him. It is you teaching him, but it's also him teaching you.

[22:41]

Yeah. Neither one of you has an original nature separate from your relationship with the other one. Well, what about the self when you're alone? When you're by yourself with your own thoughts then do you not have true nature if you're alone? How do you explain that? So that's what I was referring to by the intra-psychic subjective. In the subjective realm, there's a sense of self but that self is in relationship to other phenomena that are going on at the same time. For example, fear, confusion and some intention. Feelings of pain or pleasure. All those are going on together and are in conversation with the self within your own consciousness.

[23:48]

So there too, there's a conversation going on. There's an intimate communion within your own mind. Yeah. But you told us a story about a communion between your mind and his mind. And that was another intimate communion between your subjective self and his subjective self. And that's the inter-communication. That's right. That's the inter-subjective communion. But there's also an intra-subjective communion in your mind every moment. Yeah, I noticed. So you could say, I just thought you could call once the micro level and once the macro level. Yeah. And the micro and the macro include each other. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I see. So on.

[24:49]

And Angela. Evening. Great assembly. Evening. Today, I finished reading a book called. It is called Letters from Westerbork. And it's a. It's a. Collection of letters written by a woman named. Eddie Hellison. And she was. Jewish and she lived in Amsterdam during World War Two. And Amsterdam was occupied by the Nazis and. She. Volunteered. To be to go to the transit camp that was leaving.

[25:51]

Holland every week. With 1000. Jews bound for Poland. She volunteered to go into this camp and. Essentially minister to the people who were there. Knowing also that in all probability. She would end up on one of the transport trains eventually. Which she did. And she died at Auschwitz. But I just like to if I may read a passage that I read today that was so moving and I think it relates to what exactly what we're talking about. It's just a short paragraph. There's a quote in the middle. This is a letter she wrote to a friend. Many feel that their love of mankind languishes at Westerbork.

[26:57]

Because it receives no nourishment. Meaning that people here don't give you much occasion to love them. Then there's this quote. The mass is a hideous monster. Individuals are pitiful. Someone said. But I keep discovering that there is no causal connection between people's behavior and the love you feel for them. Love for one's fellow man is like an elemental glow that sustains you. The fellow man himself has hardly anything to do with it. Oh, Maria, it's a little bit bare of love here. And I myself feel so inexpressibly rich. I cannot explain it. Anyway, this person.

[28:00]

I think this person, if Judaism had had sainthood, they would have given this person that honor. She was incredibly selfless and. And. Just. Was able to, you know, to provide. She did. She does record getting. You know, discouraged from time to time, but her overall attitude is just completely nothing but giving all the time to everyone and taking care of every situation. And. I think that. To. But in nature is. Extends through all the face. And I thought I heard you say something about the love has nothing to do with what the person is doing.

[29:07]

Yes, right. It's including the love has nothing to do with whether she's discouraged or not. Right. Yeah, so she may be discouraged or she may be encouraged, but the love is there for both of those. And she can't explain it. And she can't explain it. And both of those. Are both all states are teaching love and learning love. And she she tapped into that. She entered that that original nature. She seemed to be someone who was just born in touch, completely in touch with that nature without, you know, any particular. Need to access it in some intentional way. But, yeah, I mean, I suppose that's what a what a what a saintly person is. Yeah.

[30:08]

So you just said she was born with this. Yes. And so part of this teaching is that we're all born with it. Yeah, we're born with this. Original nature. And. But we have to practice and we have to practice in order to awaken to it, but we are born with it. And she practiced in a way that she seemed to awaken to it. But she was born with it. I agree with you. But also, I add that we are all born with it, too. We need to practice teaching it and being taught it like she did. She taught it. And she learned it. The terrible situation she was in taught her, taught this to her. So she could realize what what she was born with. What when I was reading it, I just felt like, oh, this this is Jizo just willingly goes into hell to rescue beings.

[31:24]

This is Jizo. Yep. Yeah. And. Acting that way, Jizo does, we realize our original nature. Thank you for that. Welcome. Hello. Hello. Good evening, Angela. Hello, great community. Great assembly. An offering, perhaps teaching.

[32:31]

I resist. And I'm feeling resistance. To being taught or receive any teaching. I notice my resistance. So I would like to. Confess that. And. I confess that I resist that I observe myself resisting. All the time. Whether I'm. Teaching or receiving teaching. And I. And I'm sorry. I truly am sorry that I resist. And I wholeheartedly wish to.

[33:38]

Be open to. The teaching. And. Receive. The gifts of. Teaching and receiving teachings. Yes. Are you teaching now? Yes. Yes. Thank you. Thank you for teaching. I was taught. Good evening.

[34:42]

Good evening. I feel like. There's some subtext here for me and that. You are raising in my mind. Questions about teachers student relationships. And I want to say that. In part, I feel that at least in this context. It's a karmic relationship. And it's also kind of a social contract. And I feel like the way that you. Have opened this issue is kind of. Also suggesting that these things can change, you know. And that's kind of intense. So I guess I wanted to talk to you about the. You know, complacency and comfort and the intensity of. Even considering. Changing. Did you ask a question?

[36:14]

Said I wanted to consider the. The intensity. Of change and. Situation that seems quite. Good. And, and I also want to acknowledge, I guess. That in this situation. You have so generously exposed your. Yourself and your understanding of things through the years. You know, from. It's a bit safer to be on this side of it and not have to expose as much. Myself in the context. It's just. It's a little complacency. There's a great deal of. Fear of change. Did you just. Did you just. Communicate something, did you just tell us something?

[37:18]

I hope so. Did you just teach us something? I hope so. You know, this is. This is pretty close to my heart. It's a little. It's hard to talk about. Yeah. And I guess I'm wondering what your. Intention is in opening this dialogue. My intention is to. Realize Buddhahood. For the, for the welfare of the world. And. The teaching in this at this time is that our original nature is Buddhahood. And we need to teach it and be taught it in order to realize it. And we used it, we used to, we need to use.

[38:28]

Our experience. In order to teach and be taught that our experience is originally Buddhahood. So, my intention is to open up this communion. By using our experience. As teaching and as being taught. As a gift and as receiving a gift, as giving and receiving. That's my. Intention. That's my aspiration. In this particular series of studies. And again. As I said earlier. We've been working on developing. And learning about compassion. Compassion will sustain us. In this teaching. And being taught. Compassion will help us deal with the intensity.

[39:34]

Of this social contract. It's. It's essential, isn't it? Compassion. It's essential for us to. Have compassion in order to teach. And be taught. In that sphere. And awaken. To our original. Buddha wisdom. It seems to me like it's.

[40:39]

It's the. It's the only way to enter into the dynamism. You know that you. That you're talking about. It's the only. It's the only way to kind of stand it. Yeah. To stand it or to tolerate it. Yeah. Or just sit in the middle of it. To take. To take one's place in the middle of it. And. Okay. Okay. I have nothing else to say. To you. No. Good evening.

[41:52]

Everyone. I want first to apologize for coming joining late this evening. And I will talk more about that. Also. I want to apologize for totally missing the last class. My power went out during a big storm here in Santa Cruz. So I couldn't connect. However. I want to. I want to say how. How grateful I was. Thank you to Gay. For sending the. The audio of the last class of the first class. Which I. I listened to this morning after my. Sitting. Early. And. It just. It just went straight in. And I just feel as if all of you, you, Rob. And all of you were teaching.

[42:53]

Me. You were teaching. We were teaching each other together. And my listening. I mean, everything you said. Somehow. I just felt so wide open to. It. It just. You know, you don't know when you're going to be surprised. At least I don't anymore. You wouldn't be surprised. I mean, it. There was. It was so incredibly rich. What everyone was. Contributing. The call and response. It was just enacting what you were saying. Embodying it. And for me that it came in such a timely way. I had. A conversation with a friend. The longest one by phone.

[43:58]

In. I don't know when. And she's one of my dear poet friends. But it was for her and for me. It was. I felt like I could. I was walking around. With my phone. Just after having listened to listen to all of you. And those teachings were just, you know, coming and she was coming back. It was just. You know, like, there was just a continuation of that conversation in our own particular way, which had had to do with anxiety and suffering and. Especially coming from her. I felt like I could just be there. With her for her, like, you know, we just were like this. It was so helpful. So. Thank you so much. And I was late tonight because I was responding to someone else.

[45:04]

And I got. And as usual, for me, you know me, I can get carried away. Enthusiastically. Also with words and on paper and a difficult email. So it helped me hugely. But then I looked up. Holy smokes. I'm late. So. So thank you for indulging. And and being my teacher. All of you. What you're giving to us. Is. Is immeasurable. And vice versa. Thank you. Hello. Emil. It's 11. 1110 here in New York.

[46:05]

So, excuse my formality. Normally, my. My rocket suit and be sitting in sitting on my mat. So, excuse me for being like this. It's past my bedtime. So, yeah, I, I'm not even sure I have a question or anything. I, I, I just didn't take my hand down because I did do that once before. And I thought I'm not going to do it again. So I kept it up. Yeah, I, I have no idea why I do this. And I have no idea why I, I got so much joy out of it. And, and recently I've been feeling, maybe I felt this way for a while but it's, it seems particularly strong recently desire for right livelihood or something there's, there's, there's a hunger there.

[47:07]

I think it's always been there but it's, it's something I can maybe now confess or acknowledge, and not feel too self conscious about doing that. I also feel like I'm wandering a little bit like, and I, as I was waiting in the queue I, I had all these questions but then I answered them you know as, as you were speaking to everyone else. Um, I'm not quite sure what it is that is. Maybe I like to wander, you know, maybe that's, I've heard not all the wanderer lost so maybe there's that. And maybe it's okay to be hungry to be spiritually hungry I, I felt a little bit weirded out about that that you're not supposed to have these kinds of like cravings or anything like the Dharma whatever is supposed to like everything but I do I do have this, I, I want to know it all.

[48:15]

And, and I also know that I. And I also do know that it's not something that's out there to grasp in a way, I, I've realized this and I feel very lucky to have with teachers like like yourself to to experience that myself. So I, you know, I'll just throw this out like I wonder if one of the things that is kind of in my way or that I've put in my way is, I can't fully trust myself to be in the presence of great suffering. I mean I, I think I can. I spent two years at a monastery and I think that helped a lot and helped me help me to, to kind of, I guess, meet some things like fears I had, you know, big things, death, illness, pain, but I still don't fully trust myself to, you know,

[49:42]

I'll give an example just a few weeks ago I was, I had a confrontation with a sangha friend. It's a complex dynamic I think she's my roommate and I will not think too much I don't think I am but. And there was just like this. I could just sense this sort of resentment and anger. And it's, it didn't feel very good to be the object of this, this kind of feeling. And I feel like if I were to realize my whatever ambitions I have of being of service, and I adopt new styles of dress and new titles and whatever else, and already being in this body.

[50:43]

I feel like maybe, maybe too much. You know what might attract all kinds of projections feelings that I, I may not necessarily be able to. I don't know, I don't know how I would. I don't trust myself completely. And being able to. I don't know. I don't know if that makes any sense at all, but maybe I'm just neurotic I have a lot of excuses for not doing what I really want to do. So that's just the latest one I guess. Um, but yeah, I know, it's.

[51:50]

I mean, now I can versus a few months ago I can actually listen to a sad song, I couldn't do that before. I can maybe see, I could maybe see a sad movie I don't know. I haven't tested myself for that. Could I be with someone who's dying. Maybe. Maybe. It's all very new. It's all very new. And I heard you say that you have a hunger for right livelihood. So this series of classes is about right livelihood. Yeah, okay. When the right place. And the livelihood in this case is the livelihood of our original nature,

[52:52]

which is the livelihood of intimate communion. And we need a lot of compassion to be there for the intimate communion, because the intimate communion could be involve fear. So we need to learn how to open to and be gracious with for example, fear. You know, it's when you said that when you just said intimate communion. I thought that I had an idea, like when you said that right away I was like, I have experienced that that's not too bad. And I think I have an idea that it's that it's, it will be bad.

[53:56]

It will be something that I, but, but actually, no, even if it is, you know what I mean, it's not. Even if it is, there can still be, there can still be a right livelihood with something bad. Right livelihood with something bad is to be intimate with it. That's the right livelihood. I think that's the hunger. And you hunger for that. I hunger for it too. That's the hunger, yeah. And, and then we, and then we enjoy the intimate communion and that's good. And then we're hungry for more every moment because it's new. We want a new one, a new right livelihood. Yeah, I want to sit with that. Thank you. You're welcome.

[54:58]

Thank you. Thank you. Good evening read. Good evening Great Assembly. Um, I am in Hawaii on vacation. And I, I came here, really wanting to rest and get quiet, and the way I was describing it to myself was to, to have. Well I'm in Al-Anon so I'm using some Al-Anon language but conscious contact with, with God, or with Buddha mind. And what I found here was people who needed me. I'm staying with a friend, and she's in crisis and feels utterly powerless in her life. And there are two families here who have daughters who struggle with addiction and mental illness the way my daughter does and so I, I was asked to help and spent a lot of

[56:19]

time sharing with them and listening to them, and it was incredibly rich. It was full of, well, everything but on a more literal level you know sorrow, fear, joy, communion. And after hearing your talk tonight. I was, I was thinking wow that was really a very clear experience of intimate communion. Um, and I was wondering. Well, I have two questions. But I was wondering if that could be described as the finger pointing at the moon, because it feels like a provisional experience of intimate community. Yeah. But the, the use of a provisional teaching is what Buddha is. Buddha uses provisional teachings. So the intimate communion uses provisional teachings.

[57:40]

They are provisional. But they also are. What is Buddha's realization is realization of intimate communion. Okay. This is where my mind starts to explode a little. Yes, I think I see that I, I was going to ask if, because I, I can't help but I sort of turn into a shark, you know, once I get a little taste of, you know, something that feels sublime I want it all the time and everywhere, and I get greedy, which I confess. But I wondered if, you know, I understand, I believe that that the intimate communion is happening all the time whether or not we perceive it.

[58:43]

It's our nature. It's our original nature. And what, how can we practice to attune to it. Mm hmm. Yeah. And I was wondering if. Well, it seems like it. It requires some faith. And. But is it well and compassion, I guess compassion when you see yourself move in and out of awareness but is it is it awareness, is it like being aware that this is a process whether or not we can directly perceive it in the moment. Well, the, it is, it is our original awareness. Intimate communion is our original awareness, but also our conscious awareness can be to remember it. And to remember that it applies to what we're consciously aware of.

[59:47]

So for consciously aware of intensity or anxiety or pain. And we remember that that it will remember to learn from that, and to teach that we remember that this is another example of intimate communion, that the experience of pain is actually intimate communion. The experience of pain is the whole universe, communing with the whole universe in the form of my pain. I fear, or this person's pain, or this person's fear. So I'm remembering the teaching and using the current example. But I need to have some training and compassion in order to be here with it, and not or not run away from where the tire is what is meeting the road, or with the Dharma wheel meets the road.

[60:51]

Yes, road is really painful so I need prep. I need compassion to be with the pain. And remember that this pain is the experience of this pain is intimate communion is, is my original nature in this form. Thank you that. Yeah, thank you. And if you get a taste of this, and then you get greedy about it. This greed, the experience of greed is your original nature in this form. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Thank you, that will give me sustenance because the rubber does meet the road. Quite a bit in the form of pain in this existing. So, thank you.

[61:58]

This Dharma wheel has rubber around it. Hello. Hello. Green. Um, I was feeling courage, encouraged and supported by hearing other people speak to raise my hand, even though I'm not really sure what I'm going to say, but I, I'm, I'm, I guess I'm resonating with some of the things I feel like I'm hearing other people say about fear. And I, what can I specifically say about that, um,

[63:06]

um, I am. I'm trying to go back to work. I used to work as a massage therapist. And the, um, the intensity of the intimacy in such a situation was very strong for me. It was overwhelming. It was a lot. When I worked in that capacity in the past. Um, so I, there's like a certain thing going on in my mind, which I'm fearing reentering such intimacy with others. And, um, yeah, I guess I just wanted to name that and also confess it. And I, um, I'm hearing your teaching I'm hearing about, um,

[64:11]

um, for example, what you just shared with Gail about the way your original nature is being experienced right now is this, this particular thing, this particular fear, this particular pain. Um, and I know I'm being called to be present with it. Um, um, yeah, it's, it's really difficult. And I guess I'll just share one more aspect, um, which is. I've started to name it like a character. Like I've started to name it like my, this character that shows up, which is, um, manifesting as a version or avoidance. Um, it, I feel that it bullies me. I feel that it pushes me around. I feel that it prevents me from doing things that the,

[65:20]

the aversion or the avoidance, um, is stronger than me. And the latest thing I've been doing with it is trying to invite it to be here and like imagining it like almost like a protector, like someone who's protecting me like a grandmother or someone who's who actually has a positive intention to, to protect me. Um, I don't know how else to work with it. I, I'm trying to be friendly with it. And anyway, I, I keep inviting it to sit on my altar and I keep inviting it to receive my devotion. And that's what's happening.

[66:26]

Um, did you say, uh, you're trying to, um, be friendly to it? Does that seem appropriate to you? Yes. Yeah. Being friendly to it is, that's where it's at. Being friendly to it, whatever it is, is where it's at, which includes being patient with it, being gentle with it, being friendly with it, being welcoming of it. And nothing's harder than, you know, just being with it. But the way to be with it, there's, there is a way to be with it called being friendly and being compassionate. And it's not, it's not easy to be compassionate with X, but that's, that's what's being called for.

[67:38]

Once you can be with it, then you can remember the teaching that it is intimate communion. It is Buddhahood talking to you in this way. But to say that before you're willing to be there doesn't really work. It's just an abstract idea. Maybe a nice one, but. So, again, I don't trust myself. Somebody said about trusting themselves. I don't trust myself, but I do trust friendliness. I don't trust pain or pleasure, but I do trust friendliness to pain and pleasure. I don't trust fear. I trust friendliness with fear. And if we can be really friendly with fear, we can actually teach it and be taught by it.

[68:40]

We can realize the reality of fear, the original nature of fear. But you're having a hard time being friendly? That's normal. So, I hope you have developed faith in being friendly to these difficult guests, to these intensities. Okay, I'll think about that. Hello.

[69:46]

Is it me? Yes. Okay. I want to acknowledge and thank the community and you and relate what I experienced after the first session. So, we ended with, I think, Basu brought up Jesus at the end of the session. And Jesus has always been a problem for me. And I confess that and I wasn't steeped in that kind of religion. But the whole idea and the symbol, it's something I don't directly address particularly, but it comes up.

[70:59]

I'm going to say, he comes up. So, a couple of my friends who are Jewish told stories about how Jesus came to them in very difficult times. And what their experience with Jesus was. Which was similar in the level that Jesus has come to me in very dark, scary times. And my Jewish friend said, you know, why Jesus? I mean, he wasn't part of my background or teaching. And I was surprised too. So, it's still a bit of a mystery. And what I got after last week was, oh, and I also listened to Fu's five o'clock talk and that helped too.

[72:05]

So, here's my theory. But well, I'll say what happened in first. So, I think it was maybe the night after, about 3.30, I awakened and I couldn't get back to sleep. And I tried and it had to do with, I was angry and hurt with my adult children. Because I was feeling they're too busy. For us. And, you know, I know intellectually, you know, we raised them to be able to do the very things they're doing. Now I'm, you know, well, you're too busy for me. After all I've done for you kind of thing. And don't you know how important it is and what fun it is when we're with you. So, I thought, okay, I have to get up and meditate.

[73:08]

I didn't know what else to do. So, I sat and I tried and I couldn't allow that relaxation that happens. You know, I'm to the point where if I just focus on my breath, you know, that way, then whatever comes in the way of wisdom or doesn't come, it's fine. But I couldn't do it. So, what I did was I asked Jesus to help me. And I was embarrassed with myself. So, I thought, it's like a child, you know, praying. Please help me. And so, I did relax enough to, I don't know, I was there a long time meditating, but this voice came loud.

[74:11]

Not Jesus voice, but what came was out of the cosmos came the one word impermanence. And that was it. I thought, that's the kids are the probably one of the most difficult things to let go of that I cling to, you know, and I don't want to be a cling on kind of parent. So, anyway, it's just the impermanence. It was a deep, deeper level of viewing it. And, and I think, you know, it really reinforced the idea of course Jesus is an entry point, because he's a childhood figure.

[75:13]

We learn about Jesus when we're children. So, when we're the most, when I'm the most vulnerable and have been in my life. It's like my more adult parts don't, it's my child that, you know, is comforted and reach, I reach out to Jesus. And he's a symbol of a gentle man and kindness and good things. So, that's my story. You have anything to add about to help with my understanding of Jesus. I wouldn't say I'm adding anything. I just say, intimate communion. Yeah. Yes. He's a personal, kind of, he comes up as a person, you know, it's very intimate in a way that, yes.

[76:25]

Thank you. Yeah. Thank you for the story. You're welcome. So, thank you for the help. Good evening. And good evening, everybody. I have one thing to share, and one question, following the share. So, the one thing to share is that in the beginning of the class today, I noticed that Camille was not called, or my impression was that she was not called. And I also noticed a number that was not called because usually you will read out loud the number without knowing who that is, but I noticed there was a number that was not called. And so, I spent the first couple of minutes, kind of, like, thinking about that, like, wondering, should I say something?

[77:34]

Should I say something? And I saw that Camille put in the chat that, indicating that she was not called. And then I was like, oh, maybe a rep will see that. And then you didn't see that. And I was like, ah, should I say something? And then. I would say, please say something. I did say, did I miss anyone? So, if I do miss anyone, please tell me. Yes, you did say that. And I was realizing, I was, like, thinking, noticing my hesitant, being hesitant to take up space to, like, there's a lot of, like, different things going on there. It's like me not wanting to take up space, me not wanting to interrupt the flow, me not wanting to cause any conflict, even though I know intellectually there's not going to be any conflict. And so, when I saw that Camille was raising her hand to ask a question, I was like, oh, thank you. Thank you. Because I want you to be seen.

[78:37]

And I just feel that, I really feel that pain of seeing somebody not being called. And I also wanted to share that, because even though I don't know her, I don't even know the number. I was like, somebody in our group is not being seen. So, I just want to share that. Thank you. And following that, I have a question for you about teaching and being taught. So, I wanted to know if showing up is what you're talking about by intimate communion, or embodying something, or when you say you are, like, excuse me for paraphrasing. I think you're talking about the Buddha nature, or the nature that we need to embody, we need to practice it.

[79:37]

And is showing up, is engaging, or is being present, are all of these what you meant by teaching and being taught? Yes. Okay. Thank you for clarifying that. You're welcome. Good evening, Reb, and good evening Great Assembly. It is such a pleasure to be, to spend this time with you. Such a celebration of life. Thank you for that, for your wisdom, and your love. I just wanted, when you started with the expression of the finger pointing at the moon, that the finger is not being the moon.

[80:40]

And actually, when I reflected on that deeper, I thought, well, actually, it's a paradox. The finger pointing at the moon is also the moon pointing at itself. And the second thing I wanted to say was that my practice right now is really, well, before I say that, I'll say that when I studied child psychology, and I learned that the biggest trauma that happens in a baby's early life is a sense, a feeling of disconnection with the parent. When the parent is not attuning to the child. So, you can actually Google that on YouTube, a still face experiment and see how children suffer when the parent is not paying attention to them.

[81:48]

So, what I'm seeing right now in myself when I meet people, I feel that I experience this connection and lack of communion. Because people right now seem to be very, very solidified in their views, and not very accessible. So, meeting human beings is not very pleasant for me, because I experienced that thing of the sensation of disconnection, and it's really a humongous pain. So, I don't know whether it's just me, my personal phase of my practice, or whether it's universal for us all humans.

[82:52]

I really don't know, but this is something that is really very amplified for myself. Maybe you want to say something to that. Maybe you know what I probably will say. What do you think I'm going to say? Intimate communion. This is the whole universe intimately communing with itself in the form of your great pain. And it's the finger pointing at the moon that... Right now, it's the finger pointing at the moon, right? Right now, in that disconnection. Connect with me. So, that was something that I was thinking about. And the last thing I wanted to say was to June. For me, Jesus was the koan. I took it not just wanting to take on the historical figure, just like with the Buddha, the three bodies of the Buddha.

[84:03]

Well, you know, I'm sure all of you know, so I won't take time on that. So, I wanted to find the astral body of the Jesus. What does it really mean beyond the symbol that we know? And for me, it was, as I listened to all of your wisdom, it was really about the capacity of intimate communion. That's what he modeled to us through his carrying that cross, which was supposed to be all humanity's pain. And I used to think like, what kind of garbage is that? I really couldn't accept that as much before. And now, I fully understand what that means, because each one of us do it once we start doing it. So, we are, there's a Polish movie actually called, where all Jesus is, Christ. It's a very good movie. And maybe you can Google it and find it and watch it.

[85:08]

Thank you. Dharmic gates are boundless. I vow to be intimate. It's unsurpassable. I vow to be intimate. Good night, everybody. Thank you. Thank you.

[86:03]

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