In a moment you'll be hearing Part 3 of the seminar Pursuit of Pleasure by Alan Watts. First a reminder that if you want more information about the spoken word of Alan Watts, you write to MEA Box 303, Sausalito 94965. We'll be repeating the address at the end of today's talk. Now here's the late Alan Watts with the talk Pursuit of Pleasure Part 3. Now you must understand that yesterday I was doing a demolition job. The negative aspect of what we're talking about, the pursuit of pleasure, and by approaching it from two different points of view, I was explaining the fact that there really isn't anything that you can do to transform your consciousness into, shall we say, the state

[01:27]

of pleasure or ananda, bliss, ecstasy, especially the very high ecstasy of everyday consciousness. There's nothing. And I worked on this especially through an analysis of the nature of the opposites of perception by contrast. And so that leaves you flat. And so from that place where we can apply the Turkish proverb, he who sleeps on the ground will not fall out of bed. And we can proceed to the positive aspect. Now what happens when we are at the end of the negative aspect?

[02:35]

When we come to the depth of the yin motion, which is the seed point of yang, what happens when you are really convinced that, first of all, there is nowhere to be but now, impossible to be anywhere else, to be conscious of anything else except what is present, and that there is no trickery which you can play on your mind, whether it be by an iron-forced discipline, or by self-hypnosis, or by any kind of hocus-pocus, to bring about a satori, a state of illumination of cosmic consciousness, or whatever you want to call it, because this will always be a

[03:44]

case of a vicious circle in which the person who needs to be transformed is attempting to do the transforming. In other words, it's the old story of trying to lift yourself up by your own bootstraps, trying to bite your own teeth, look into your own eyes without a mirror, gild a lily, put legs on a snake, beard on a eunuch, and so on. Can't be done. So at that moment, when that is clear, where are you? Where are you now? You may feel depressed, and what will you do about that? Well, there's nothing to do about it, because you would have discovered at this point that

[04:53]

the depression, when it's there, is the you of the time. And if you try to get out of it by some sort of distraction, you won't really do anything except cover up the dirt with white paint. So if you feel let down, meaningless, somewhat depressed by this whole thing, and you see at the same time you can't do anything about it, what happens? Why you're simply watching what's happening.

[05:59]

You don't know what's going to happen next, and it isn't just watching something that is formally identified as a depressed state, because a lot of other things going on too. There's the world around you, there's your breath breathing still, your eyes looking still, your ears hearing still, all that's going on, and you don't know what to make of it anymore. You can't believe anything about it, because you know that's all a hoax. So there's nothing left for you to do but watch it. And you have become inwardly rather quiet, just because you're worn out, there's nothing to do, and you realize that all escapes lead back to the thing you were running away from.

[07:07]

You can take a detour, detours, detours, detours, but they always get shorter, and you get back to where you started. So, when this sort of defeat of all enterprises and ideals and aspirations occurs, you find yourself naturally, and not in an affected or forced way, in the contemplative state, where you're just watching what goes on. And even if you're automatically thinking about it, because you realize that those thoughts are futile so far as changing anything is concerned, you might as well try to sweep dust on the stairs with bamboo shadows. And so, you watch your thoughts as if they were the ticking of a clock, or birds chattering

[08:22]

outside the window, or water falling, or a leaky faucet, and they just chatter on, and life does its thing, and you watch. The thoughts, because they just chatter, begin to go away, and the past has disappeared, because you know it's just memory. The future has disappeared, because it hasn't happened. Never does, you know, tomorrow never comes, there is no tomorrow. And if you don't realize that, it's useless for you to make plans for it. If you do realize there's no tomorrow, then maybe plans will be of use to you, because when they work out, you can enjoy the result, but if you're not all here, you can't. So, tomorrow can only be handled by those who don't take it seriously.

[09:22]

So there you are. Now, if you've read the literature, which many of you have, of mysticism, and yoga, Buddhism, Vedanta, and so forth, you know it said again, and again, and again, that this kind of vision, this way of seeing, is always dependent upon transcending your ego, in one way or another, giving up. Well, here you are, you've given up. Only, you are not able to pride yourself on having achieved a great achievement. And this is the snare for all people who go into these spiritual disciplines. They make a project of getting rid of their ego, and they're terribly proud of it.

[10:29]

They come home and brag about how much they suffered, how long they sat, and had their legs hurt so much, and they're absolute boors. And this spiritual braggary is nothing more than blowing up and inflating the ego to a colossal degree, because the ego is undertaking the actually impossible, but seemingly incredibly difficult task of getting rid of itself. So, when you run into this kind of thing, don't be beguiled. All those disciplines to get rid of your ego, have as their underlying design to persuade you that it can't be done. Not in a merely theoretical kind of persuasion, but so that you actually realize that you can no more get rid of your ego than you can put out fire with fire.

[11:31]

It is precisely, you see, the ambition of the ego to be egoless. When you find a person who is what you might call frankly egotistic, makes no bones about it, he will be less egotistic, actually, than people who are very self-effacing. That's a curious thing. People, for example, who speak very frankly, and tell the truth, and come right out and say whether they like you or whether they don't, whether they want you around or whether they don't, and you say, well, can I stay overnight, and they say, sorry, but I'm tired and I don't want anybody around. You think, well, is that selfish? But that kind of selfishness is not really selfish, because with a person like that, you always know where you are. Nobody likes to impose on anyone else, and you can't impose on that kind of person. That makes for a very comfortable relationship. So you owe it to other people to be as egotistic as you are.

[12:38]

Then they know where you stand, but if you come out full of love and full of good intentions and make promises to all kinds of people, and say, oh, you'll do this, that, and the other for them, and then you forget about it, or you're too lazy, or you think you'd rather not, they've been relying on you for your promises, and then you let them down. Simply because you weren't selfish when it was time to be selfish. So you know, if somebody asks you, will you help me, will you give me some money, or something like that, if you're not going to do it, say no. And you shouldn't be ashamed of saying no, because if you're going to do no eventually, do it now. But if you say, well, I'll think it over, I'll go back and look at my bank balance, that means, no, but I don't want to say so. And people are always fouling each other up that way. So it's very important to be as egotistic as you are, because the ambition to be less

[13:41]

egotistic than you are, is a form, a very insidious form of egotism, and there is nothing more reprehensible than the ambition to be a saint. So, you found that out, you see, not by going through some project, some fierce discipline to get rid of your ego, unless of course you were the kind of nut who had to go through that and couldn't find it any other way. That's why I have nothing against gurus who put people through all sorts of complicated obstacle races, because those people asked for it. They wouldn't have respected the guru, unless he had made things difficult. It's on the principle of anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. There it is. Because, let me repeat the point, you are responsible.

[14:46]

And when you go to a guru, you did it. And you gave him authority to take charge of your spiritual development. And he's going to show you that the authority was always yours, but he can't do that by just talking. He has to carry the absurd things you are doing to their logical extremes, so that you will find out. You are making yourself miserable. He will increase your tendency to do so, until you find out that it's you who are doing it. Well I say you find out it's you who are doing it. Who is you? We never have to define this, because it's become like a point in modern geometry or mathematics. In the old Euclidean system, we said a point is that which has position but no magnitude.

[15:50]

A kind of absurd definition. But in mathematics today, we don't define a point at all. We say it's a limit of size. And it's much more useful that way. So when I use the word you, you know what I mean, but I'm not going to define it. Because then we get thinking about is the you immortal or immortal, or mortal or immortal, is it eternal or non-eternal, is it separate or is it one with, etc, etc, etc. And all these are silly questions. The word I, as William James said, is a pronoun of position, like this or here, or like the it in It Is Raining. So when I say I know, I do, I'm not thinking that there is some agent I who is the doer

[16:52]

of deeds. I do, I say means the saying is coming from here, as distinct from over there. And there is no disjunction between the I and the saying. I am what I say, because the saying is the act. This is I while I say it. So, with the rest of the body, I'm heading, I'm hearting, I'm stomaching, boning, and that's the I while it's happening. This particular boning and stomaching and hearting and braining, you see, it's all process, all wiggles. But so then, when you find, naturally, that the supposed I, the mythical soul in the body,

[17:53]

ego in the brain, or whatever it is, is fictitious, is a social convention like the equator, and can't do anything except the thought that it can do something simply gets your psychic process is going in a vicious circle. So then, at that moment, you are in the contemplative state naturally. You are neither trying to do something about it, you are certainly not trying to do nothing about it, because you find the only thing you can do, now this is interesting, the only thing you can do is let it happen, whatever is going on, let it happen, and you're not even letting. How could you stop it? Because if you try to stop it, that trying to stop is all part of the happening, see? So what have you discovered? When there is absolutely nothing to do except it happens, whatever it does happen, you suddenly

[19:01]

discover that you are what happens, that you're not limited to what goes on inside your skull, that the wind blowing outside, the cars pouring down the road, the rattle of human life, the sun shining, and all that, that there is no you, there is no reality that is apart from that. Then stay with that a while, just don't try and get that recognition back as something you had remembered. You had suddenly this flash, this insight of Satori, and then you think, oh, let's hold on to that, I don't want to forget that, let's make a note of it, see?

[20:01]

I don't know, you're still trying to pull a trick here. See what happens next, don't stay with that, go on. The moment is always new, always fresh, whatever is going on, don't try to fix it into any mold, and say, ha ha, that state of mind is Satori, see, that I must keep. Don't keep anything, you can't, it's just like pouring water into a bottomless bucket, let it flow through, let it go on, and as you go on you see something is coming to you all the time, you don't know what it is, you don't know what's going to happen next, so you just watch, but don't slide back, you're always right where it's happening, right at the critical moment, which is the moment. And don't worry about whether you're right or whether you're wrong, whether this is what

[21:06]

you're supposed to do or not supposed to do, there is no script, unless you insist on making somebody else's script your script, and you see it coming at you. And yet you realize, it's not coming at me from somewhere or someone else, this spontaneous arisal is me, there isn't any me besides this. So when the chickens cluck outside, that's just the same as my having belly rumbles, it's all me, from each one of our points of view. Now then, as you well know, those things in life which are most pleasurable, almost invariably happen unexpectedly, they are not contrived.

[22:09]

When I take students with me to Japan, the first thing I tell them when we sit down together, is that this is not going to be a scheduled tour, except within certain rather vague limits. Many people when traveling in foreign countries, see nothing, because they see what they're supposed to see. Somebody tells them, when you go to India, you've got to see the Taj Mahal, you must see the caves at Ajanta, you must see the burning guts at Banaras, and so on. And they all go and see that so that they can say, I've said it, I've seen it. And then they take these little black boxes, which are capturing devices for grabbing experience, and they fascinatedly go around, click, [...] like this, and

[23:15]

never see anything. They're always looking at the aperture figuring, and see that that's right, and so on. And it's an absolute drag, taking a camera, especially if you are not a professional photographer. You know, you just have to preserve this memory of this one thing, once in a lifetime, I got a chance to see the Taj Mahal, click. So what I say to these people is, look, the Japanese have a phrase, which is like our phrase, just follow your nose, they say follow your feet. Because unlike the United States, Japan is a very easy place to wander in. I mean, here it's very difficult to wander. It takes narrow streets, funny courtyards, curly kind of places for effective wandering.

[24:15]

Here, you're not allowed to wander. If you go wandering in any nice part of town, the police will stop you. Because, where are you going? Nowhere particular. Well, that's very suspicious, not to be going anywhere particular. Where are you from? Have you got a paper that proves that you were there? Paper always being more reliable than people. So, and everything is straightened out, you know, it's the shortest distance between two points. As fast as possible, no wandering allowed. But in Japan, you still can wander. It's a miracle you can still, but you can. And you can take a side turning, not knowing where the faintest idea where you're going, and suddenly you discover the most amazing garden in a courtyard. Or a funny little restaurant, where the most unusual food is being served.

[25:20]

Or a bar, where there's room only for two people to sit, and they're serving broiled sea snails. Or a shop, where rare pottery is being sold. And although the shopkeeper can't speak a word of English, you go in and the utmost courtesy is shown to you. Brought our tea to drink, and very pleasant, friendly surroundings. You didn't get shown this. You followed your feet, and discovered it. Now all the best things on any journey I've ever taken were unscheduled. And most of the scheduled things were a disappointment. Because the big build up of expectations, and then flop. So, therefore, the essential principle of the positive side of the pursuit of pleasure,

[26:22]

you see, is the unscheduled life. Now, of course, for the convenience of other people, some schedule is always necessary. But it's best to make it a kind of humdrum habit thing, and don't get uptight about it. Because it is nothing more, just as the skeleton is a framework for the flesh, so a schedule is bones for wiggles. Snakes on ladders. And we need some bones, you see. Otherwise everything gets too gooey. But don't take your bones too seriously. Always allow for the unexpected. Because this is true at the level of the most simple sensuous pleasures, as well as at the

[27:38]

level of high mystical experience. So the paradoxes that come into mystical literature, such as that he that would save his life must lose it, or lose it. Or the highest knowledge is non-knowledge. In the Kena Upanishad, where it is explained that Brahman, the supreme, is known to those who know it not. All that sort of paradox is simply this, you see, that the cosmic consciousness is what arises of itself. When you see that nothing arises at all except what arises of itself. In other words, life isn't something on the one hand happening to you on the other, or

[28:39]

being done by you on the one hand to it on the other. The whole thing, you and it, is a spontaneous occurrence that is going on. And the word spontaneous in Chinese means of itself. Zhiyuan means in Chinese, what is so of itself. And it's their word for nature. And be careful to remember what I said yesterday, that the happening, the spontaneous, is not something you can preconceive. And by preconceiving it, imitate spontaneity by going against social convention. Because then you are merely acting out the obverse of the convention, and being conditioned by it as ever. The truly spontaneous can only happen of itself, and you cannot arrange it.

[29:40]

So then, you may say, well now, does that mean, as we say in kind of everyday talk, just take things as they come? I mean, just live day to day, so on. And then I know if a person asks that, that they don't take things as they come. What they do have is they have a concept of what it would be like to take things as they come. And they would say, well the ordinary person is anxious and full of plans and schemes, and therefore let's be the opposite of that. Take things as they come. See, that's the same as fake spontaneity. Because this, true taking things as they come, doesn't mean that you imitate a placid attitude.

[30:51]

Or that you have some kind of expected behavior, like say, one expects of a psychotherapist a certain kind of act which he puts on to accommodate you. If you say to a psychotherapist, you know, I have just raped my daughter and murdered my wife, he says, mm-hmm. And you know, that's an amazingly unhuman reaction. So, also then you see, people have preconceived notions of a mystic, or a Buddha, or a sage. And they think he has no emotions. And so if, when Zen masters, for example, get angry, they get so angry that the room

[31:53]

rattles. And, but when it's over, it's gone. It's like a child's emotion, you know. A child can flare up and scream and suddenly, zhup, it's vanished. People think, well, he ought to have more control over himself. Isn't he supposed to have all that yogi self-control and all that no emotion and be completely serene and placid under all circumstances? Rubbish. That would be to say that a stone Buddha is as good as a living one. That is to say, we will test your virtue by taking out our stopwatch and we will bang you about and see how long it takes you to scream. If you don't scream at all, then of course you win. But it doesn't make much difference. You might as well be dead. Is that a test of anything? It's simply a test of insensitivity.

[32:53]

So don't think, therefore, that there is some kind of stereotype of what this state is. We don't know what this state is. And those who have tried to write it down and explain it have always said, but it's ineffable. And what I'm trying to describe is I'm doing my best, but I know I can't really get it across. So you would say then, going back to the point that I'm making here, the person who said, well, it's just taking things as they come. And by that you think of something like, you know, you get up and brush your teeth and take a shower and look out of the window and then you put on your pants and have a boiled egg for breakfast and then get on the bus and go do some business and so on.

[34:00]

And that's it. But that is not it. Because when you are in the state that I'm talking about, what, from the former point of view, would have appeared to be nothing more than ordinary everyday life, is suddenly seen to be a magical process. Absolutely weird. So that you can see that you might be just rubbing around in some ash. It becomes perfectly obvious that that's the whole point of the universe. Incredible.

[35:03]

I mean, it's all there. Infinity in the grain of sand and everything. I mean, that's it. And you look at other people rushing around. People's noses, when they're in that state of rushing around, are more pointed somehow than they would be otherwise. The nose seems to be leading out, the eyes wildly searching. And people going about their business every day, serious. I'm going to get there, I'm going to make this thing. And they're quite mad. You feel sorry for them. You don't feel angry at them. But they're quite mad. They don't realize that now is it. That's where it's all going, as well as where it all comes from. The alpha and the omega is now. And indeed the angels keep their ancient places turned but a stone.

[36:19]

The whole surround of us is completely magical. Now, of course, we become aware that imaginative people are conscious of this. Imaginative people show their consciousness of it by the way they act, by their taste in whatever they surround themselves with. You begin to notice that there are some certain people with whom you either have great accord or great fear because they're not ordinary. Because they have an atmosphere of magic. They have imagination. And they're not hiding under an attempt to conform to the ideal of being ordinary. And the artistic people are here.

[37:26]

There are also people you can call relaxed people. Relaxed society. It's a very wonderful class of people. They're not on edge. Some people are edgy all the time. And you feel that your very presence around their place is a mess. If you know what I mean. But relaxed people have what in Arabic is called Baraka. It means divine grace but it also means the quality of an old frying pan that has had long years of use and is just perfect. That's Baraka. And there are people like that too you see. And all these are the great spontaneous virtues that cannot be contrived. See we can try to produce Baraka by finding some scientific process for artificially antiquing things. For putting patina on bronze in five minutes.

[38:31]

For pre-aging wine or something like that. But none of it works. It's all phony. Because this thing can only come in the process of growth. So you say well do I have to wait? But the whole thing is in the waiting. I don't mean the virtue of patience. I mean waiting when there is nothing to do but wait. And when you see there is nothing to do but wait. Then it happens. But it won't be hurried. Because the minute you're trying to hurry it that introduces the one thing that stops it. The miracle the magic thing is happening all the time. But you can't see it when you're trying to get it.

[39:34]

And you can still less see it when you're trying to get it fast. So there is no alternative but to go through the point of you can't get it at all. You are going to be you. The same slob you've always been. See you can't change it. And all your good resolutions are just bombast. And then you start to be real. So just as the in traveling. Or in ordinary relations with your friends every day. These gorgeous things happen of themselves. Those are the true pleasures. So at the level of mystical experience. The most astounding insights. Of you know where you can go into the deep most trivial everyday affairs.

[40:37]

This is behind all those Zen stories of the monk who was sweeping the courtyard. And a small piece of broken tile zipped out from under his broom. And struck against the bamboo and made a plop. And that sound he suddenly saw as containing the entire secret of the universe. One can do it from anything. As I say it could be the ashes in the ashtray. It could be light in a dew drop. It could be the sound of a bell. Any point becomes the takeoff point. Because there's a principle in operation which the Japanese call Jiji Muge. Now the word Ji.

[41:40]

Means any experience which you could identify as a thing or an event. So the doubling of the word Jiji. Means between thing event and thing event. Muge. Mu means no. Ge means barrier or obstruction. Or put it in another way. Everything event implies all the others. And here in this way you begin to see that that is actually so. When you pick up a chain you pick up one link and the rest comes. In this you pick up one thing event and the universe comes up with it. Because you see. There are no separate things. It's all a single unified process. No longer divided into the voluntary and the involuntary.

[42:41]

The I and the you or the I and the it. Because it is the big happening. Which is neither voluntary nor involuntary. Which is neither free nor determined. All these are mere ideas about it and about. You've abandoned all that. You've abandoned philosophy totally. Because you see it's just a net designed for catching water. And when all that's gone and that whole attempt. To clutch life. To capture the pleasure. Has disintegrated. There it is. And you needn't feel anxious about will it stay. It's a gorgeous thing to feel you no longer got to worry whether it will stick around. Because you know that if you do worry you'll show it away. So it's a tremendous relief you see.

[43:46]

Not to have to bother with will it stick around. Will I lose my insight. Will my Satori take wing and go off with the bats. You just forget it. Because the more you let go of it. The more it stays. And you don't even have to worry about will you be sure to let go of it. Because that too is a hang up. And you can begin. You see from your very weakness. That's your strength. It's not your big ego and your big will. That is the strong thing here. It's your. It's your sloppiness. It's your weakness. It's your foolish side. That is your strong suit here. See. Yoko Daishi puts it in this way. You cannot take hold of it. You cannot get rid of it.

[44:48]

In not being able to get it. Let me repeat this. In not being able to get it. You get it. When you are silent. It speaks. When you speak. It is silent. The great way gate is wide open. And nobody obstructing it. So we'll have an intermission. You've been listening to part three from a seminar entitled. Pursuit of pleasure by Alan Watts. The MEA catalog number of this particular seminar is 9919. This would be part three. If you're interested in a copy of this particular lecture. If you're interested in the spoken word in general of Alan Watts. Please send a self-addressed stamped legal sized envelope. To MEA box 303. Sausalito 94965 California. That's MEA box 303. And the zip code 94965.

[45:52]

Thank you. This is KSAN in San Francisco.

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