Good morning. Several things. Can you hear me? That I want to talk about a little bit before we start studying. One is that in the course of the year, Our chanting tends to stretch out so that, you know, we start out with it kind of firm, and then over time... So every once in a while we just have to say, let's tighten it up a little bit so that, like, at the end of the meal chant we're going... So if we can just remember to keep the rhythm going and not stretching out, because it'll stretch out infinitely.

[01:08]

The other thing is that sometimes we have knee problems. And as we get older and don't move around so much, our knees tend to, the muscles around our knees tend to lose their tone. And when they lose their tone, then we start having knee problems. So it's important to keep our knees toned. And there are knee exercises which keep your knees toned. I had some knee problems about 15 years ago. I can't remember how long ago. It was a long time ago. 1984. Before 94. 20 years ago. And so I went to this doctor. And the doctor said, well, you know, there's this degenerative... I don't know how to call it...

[02:15]

arthritis, and nothing you can do about that. So when he left, I looked, he had, there was this, in the office, hanging on the wall, there are these sheets, you know, that tell you, that give you exercises. So I just took the knee exercise sheet, and I went home, and I did the knee exercises, and it totally cleared up all the problems, any problems, knee problems I had. So I'm totally sold on knee exercises for your knee problems. And I have some. I have the ones, actually, that I took from his office. And I've been handing them out for 20 years. So if you want a copy, I can hang a copy someplace. Just... I'll give it to you, and whoever is responsible for hanging things can hang it up someplace where everybody can see it. And... You might want your own copy. You can deal with that. This study book is a little bit elaborate.

[03:20]

You know, it's really stuffed with stuff. And so it's very dense and contains a lot. If you're passionate about this subject, you know, it's great. But if you're not, it seems like a difficult thing to deal with. You don't have to read the whole thing, you know. You just read what is of interest to you. And sometimes people will say, well, I don't want the book, which is okay. You don't have to have the book. You don't have to own the book. Some of the books we will put in a reserve in the library so you can check one of those out if you don't want to own the book. When we start studying, what we're going to do is continue to the end, and then come back to the five positions, five ranks, to study that more intensively.

[04:46]

So when we start studying that, we'll study Hakuin's commentary. There's an awful lot in Hakuin's commentary that doesn't appear when you read it. So I want my commentary on that to be the center of our study. So when we do study Hakuin's commentary, you will want to have a copy of the book to help you. Yes? There's a coffee layer in Lorenzai's tool, even though it's by Pellock. Even though? Yes, as a matter of fact, in the commentary, Huckerman says, people think this was just the study of another school, meaning the Soto School. Yeah. Hmm.

[05:58]

So I want to just go to the end from where we were last time and see how far we get today. So this is page 34. We haven't really studied out of this book yet, except for the fine ranks. And, of course, we have here the breakdown on the top, the breakdown of the characters, meaning of the characters. And then we have various translations...

[07:03]

Quite a few. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 different translations. And so you can get some picture, you know, when you compare the translations of what the meaning is pointing to. Some translation will look... accurate to you, another one will diverge and look like something else. So you can see that there's a wide range of, and often in the translations. So this is why it's always, whenever you read something that's translated, It's always good to find as many different translations as you can so that you can get a rounded picture because the translation is according to the translator's understanding. And sometimes we get, we only, we hear one translation and we get attached to that translation.

[08:14]

Then another translation comes along, oh no, that's all wrong. It's good to be open. to the various translations, and to not necessarily say, this one is right and that one is wrong. Because the translations are only pointing to something, the meaning. the meaning is not in the words. Here we have Cleary using our Cleary translation, he says, wondrously embraced within the Rio, drumming and singing begin together.

[09:20]

I don't know if this is Cleary or not. This might be, I don't think it is, as a matter of fact. It's the Zen Center, well, the Zen Center translation that the translation committee did, because drumming and singing was not in Cleary's translation. That's more literal. Drumming and singing. Yeah. There's still been a lot of different translations and I can't keep up with them all. Yeah. But I like inquiry and response. Cleary's up at the top. Subtly and clearly whether the true inquiry and response come together. That's very nice. You know, you ask and then you receive. Right? When you make an effort, I like that a lot. When you make an effort in practice, you get a response. You know, people say, well, what is faith in practice?

[10:24]

What does that mean, you know, faith? It's a big subject, a wonderful subject. What is faith in practice? And how does one gain faith in practice? Well, one way of looking at that is that when you put your whole body and mind into, all your effort into inquiry, so to speak, inquiry is a broad term. means inquiring after the Dharma, or simply means total practice. Inquiry is like totally throwing yourself into, as Dogen said, the house of Buddha. Then there's a response, Buddha response. And then you have faith in your nature. Buddha nature responds to, we say Buddha seeks Buddha. what are we seeking in practice?

[11:32]

We're seeking enlightenment or Buddha or our self, true self. Buddha seeks Buddha. The fire boy seeks fire. So it's like fire comes together with fire, right? So when you put your whole self into practice, then there's a response. Response not necessarily from outside, but your Buddha nature responds to your effort. And then when you feel that and realize it, then you have faith in your nature. So inquiry and response come up together. Not like that. But here, literally, it's like drumming and singing arise simultaneously. So it's the same thing, but it's more poetic, right?

[12:35]

That's more literal. Drumming and singing come up together. When you sing, a drummer will appear. And when you drum, a singer will appear. to help you, to accompany you. So, you know, if you ever had the experience of things falling into place when you're doing something, you know, and when you're doing something harmoniously and your life somehow works together, the telephone rings and you know who it is. The doorbell rings and you know who it is. Or you walk down the street and you know exactly how things are going to turn out. Because there's this harmonious connection with things. Because you're doing something, you're right on, so to speak.

[13:38]

So that's like drumming and singing. It's like you walk into the world and the world responds to you. But that's what's happening all the time anyway. And that's also the mirror. When we walk down the street and we're feeling harmonious in that way, the world reflects you and responds, because everything is responding to everything else. When you're driving down the street, when you know exactly what you're doing, all the drivers respond to you and you control the road without trying to control it. So this is like, to me, this is like drumming and singing come up together. It's like a harmonious, it's like the absolute and the relative in harmony. And so this is, the rest of this

[14:44]

Okay, as am I, just examples of this, right? Just one example after another of drumming and singing coming up together, a box and it's fitting together with this lid, like a box and a lid, perfect fit. Or two arrows meeting in air, perfect fit. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's not like there's some skill involved. It's beyond skill, yeah. You said something about like knowing exactly what you're doing at the same time not having any idea, you know, not a lot of things didn't get more of you and how that worked together, like knowing what's going to happen? Well, it's inexplicable. Inexplicable.

[15:46]

I mean, you can't really explain how that works, but you just know that it worked. I mean, because it says together, which sounds like there's no, like a moment before knowledge. Well, there's different kinds of knowledge. Yeah. It's intuition. That's where I'm confused. Are you saying that intuition sounds like it comes before the fact, and this sounds like it's coming simultaneously? Intuition is simultaneous, because intuition is knowing, knowledge, or if that's the right word, without the intermediary of thinking, the thought process. We tend to often think of the thought process as knowing. And so the more we depend on the thought process, the less we know intuitively. So that's why at the end, be like a fool or an idiot.

[16:50]

An idiot, you know, it's beyond the thought process. Not that the thought process is wrong, But thinking comes after intuition. In other words, the intuition is the reality and then the thought process processes the reality and makes it intelligible intellectually. So that's why we say that the hara is first and the brain is second. I mean, if you want to think in those terms. That's why it's so important to be here, to be centered in your hara. Recent brain studies are really interesting because it turns out that we actually act or like the impulses in our brain are moving before we have what we would consider the conscious intention that triggered the movement.

[17:52]

We're already on our way and then our brain makes up the reason that we're doing it afterwards. Verifications. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, let's turn the page. Next page, 35. Then he says, communing with the source, communing with the process. One, it includes integration, it includes the road. This is clear, he's up at the top. And then, Gil, in my translation, it says FW. We said, intimate with the essence and intimate with the path, one embraces the territory and embraces the road. So... What I glean from this is that you make the practice your own.

[19:04]

I also have this remark. To penetrate the source is what Sakita calls absolute samadhi. He talks about samadhi in two ways. If you read his book called Zen Training, he talks about absolute samadhi and positive samadhi. Absolute samadhi is like when you're sitting zazen. Positive samadhi is when you're cutting carrots or sawing wood or the samadhi of your activity. One is the, we've talked about this before, the activity of stillness and the stillness within activity. Absolute samadhi and positive samadhi. So the absolute samadhi is in the realm of the dark and the positive samadhi is the realm of the light. So there are many translations here that all say pretty much the same thing.

[20:30]

Penetrate the source and penetrating the paths. Here a short path, there is a long path and So Cleary says in his note, Fundamentally, the real is pure and does not contain a single mote of dust, but it is inclusive of all dust or phenomena. For this reason, when teaching this Dharma, both the real and the seeming should be brought out to show that host and guest are intermutable either by means of Chan's direct pointing or by means of the expedient words of a teaching school. Do you have any question about this? Interlockable means interchangeable or interlocking, interactable. Yes.

[21:41]

Let me get back to that. Okay. Okay. Oh, Kenneth Roshan. What did she say? I need to find her here. Oh, yeah. She puts everything in little different terms. I find that her translations are kind of interesting because they talk about the trainee and the teacher. She uses those terms. So, trainees embrace the ultimate and masters contain the means. I don't understand that. I kind of get what she's saying, but...

[22:42]

Well, she was probably thinking of something at the time she said that. And she said, yeah, that's what it means. But that's kind of a particular way of saying something, but I don't think it's universal somehow. It misses something. Yeah. It sounds to me like the practitioner has the potential and brings it out. Well, that's right. That's what you're saying. Yeah. So it's a little more personal feeling. The other is a little more... Yeah, it goes on to the next page.

[23:55]

Yeah, teacher and student working together. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. It says, with the teaching of this Dharma, Dostoevsky brought out to show that hosts can guess interchangeably. It's like when we talk about the self, we talk about the ego, We take them very seriously. They're just seeming. And what? We talk about self. Seriously. We take them seriously. And also now that they're seeming as well. You know what I mean? Seeming? Yeah, seeming. Well, that's a funny kind of term. Seeming. Yeah. Yeah.

[24:56]

You can't neglect it. That's right. So it's like if you say there's no self, that's right, but it's also not right. If you say there is a self, that's not right, but it's also right. So there is a self, but the self is not a self. So that's a great koan of our life, the self that's not a self and the not self that is a self. So it's easy to get one-sided and say, oh, there's no self. But then what is it that's sitting here? So it's true that what is sitting here is myself, but myself is not a substantial self. I mean, it doesn't exist by itself. I'm having trouble understanding what the light images have to do with these comments.

[26:00]

What's the source and what's the path and what's the territory and what's the road? The road? We've got these translations and commentary and I don't see... They're just different ways of saying the same thing. They're all different ways of saying the same thing. It's like looking at a multifaceted jewel and you look at this side and you say... you know, it looks like this. And then you look at it from this side and say, oh, it looks like that. And so you keep looking at it from all these sides, but you don't say what it is. As soon as you say what it is, the game's over. Because you can't. It's like looking inside of a volcano. You know, there's all just smoke there, but you go around the edge and you say, oh, it looks like, you know, that cloud looks like an elephant or something. They're talking about it. It and it's both in two aspects.

[27:05]

Pathways is like the Tao. Same thing. Yeah. It's like the path and the territory and the road are just three different aspects of the Tao. Path, territory, road. Road and path are the same. But there's the road and then there's the path. There's a saying, one is on the path but not yet in the ruts. In the rut. On the path but not in the rail. You can be on the path, but not be... There's a path that's broad, but then there's a path that's narrow.

[28:09]

And one can be on the broad path, but not necessarily on the narrow path. In the groove, that's it. Yeah, that's exactly right. Be on the path, but not in the groove. Thank you. That's what I meant to say. Well, if you're in the groove, you know you're on the broad path. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The dark is the Absolute. So, in the book of the Lord, M.W. says that the sword, when you're leaving, you're referring to Beel, the conclave of Beel, the hooker of Cain. Mm-hmm. And it comes up and ties the sword to Cain, to clear the light, and that's the book of the Lord of the Dark.

[29:18]

Yeah. So, it's a genuine commodity of Cain, the sword of Beel, the extrovert. Well, the spiritual source shines... In other words, the spiritual source shines clearly in the phenomenal. But you don't see it as the source because you see it as the phenomenal. But it's... So when we see each other, we say, oh, there's Jack and Jill. But actually, we could see each other and say, oh, there's Buddha, a Buddha nature. So we see each other in a dual way. We see each other as Jack and Jill, but we should also be able to see each other as Buddha, Buddha nature.

[30:20]

which is the source. So when we see each other as Buddha, then we relate to each other in a little different way. I'm going to turn the page. So, merging is auspicious, not violated. That's what Cleary says. Well, I'm going to just stick to this book. Merging is auspicious and not violated.

[31:22]

Merging those pieces. Devotion to it will earn blessings. On no account should it be offended. Oh yeah, here's where we get a bunch of different meanings for this word offended. Offended, stubborn, opposed, one-sided clinging, no contradiction. To be wrong is auspicious. And another one is merging is auspicious. So you can see how this translation is open to lots of interpretation. To be wrong is auspicious and merging is auspicious. Acting with circumspection is auspicious. Respecting this is fortunate. To be wrong is auspicious.

[32:29]

And we translated this as mistakes are auspicious, as it cannot be offended. Well, my take on it is one possibility is as long as you are sincere and you're bumbling... will not be considered outside of practice. You know, we say about the precepts, breaking the precepts, but we don't break the precepts when we do something wrong. It's called staining the precepts. Breaking the precepts is when you say, I don't care about precepts. They don't mean anything to me and I'll just do what I want. That's breaking the precepts. But just making a mistake is called staining the precepts because you still have respect for the precepts. You're still within the embrace of the precepts.

[33:32]

But you just can't maintain your perfection, your idea of perfection within the precepts. So we appreciate mistakes, actually. Because when we appreciate mistakes, we realize that Buddha is making mistakes. And mistakes are part of our process of creating a practice. If we don't make mistakes, it's impossible to practice. So, I think that this is somewhere in this realm that, yeah.

[34:35]

Well, sincerity means that you're doing your best. Sincere means you're being honest and doing your best. So as long as you're honest and doing your best, then your practice is in the realm of enlightenment. Enlightenment is not necessarily an end result. It's within the process of practice. within the process of practice where enlightenment is. Sometimes people say, I got this wonderful feeling, you know, and I must be enlightened now. It's off the mark. I don't say it's not true, but it's just off the mark. It's not what practice is about. It's not what enlightenment is about.

[35:37]

Enlightenment is about making your very best effort within practice. Otherwise, enlightenment looks like some big prize at the end of the road. Since there's no end to the road, and there's no end to practice, enlightenment is allowing light to come forth. And sometimes it's called darkness, sometimes it's called light. So if we can learn from our mistakes, then there's no offense. It can't be offended. So our mistakes are very valuable.

[36:40]

We don't, you know, when people make mistakes, we should be careful not to get angry. Or if we do get angry, it's skillful means. If someone makes a mistake and we are attached to our anger, then that's another mistake. Matter of fact, the sixth ancestor has this wonderful poem that we should be careful about fault-finding. We should not fall into fault-finding. Because as soon as we fall into fault-finding, then we are at fault ourselves. We just create another fault. So he has this wonderful koan of how do you maintain practice when you see faults in others and yourself without falling into fault-finding. Do you have some advice about that?

[37:44]

What? Can you give us some advice about how to practice with that? So you see, oh, I'm wrong again. Yeah, that's all. There's nothing behind it. Oh yeah, I see, that person made a mistake. Or this person's always making this mistake. You know. So... we have standards, right? And when we don't come up to these standards, uphold these standards, then we, well, you know, find fault. But that's because we're attached to standards. Well, curious about whether or not I should try and discern whether or not somebody is still just playing with me.

[38:49]

Well, you know, how do we help somebody? That should be the first thing that comes to mind. When somebody makes a mistake, how can we help that person? Rather than feeling offended... says here, no account should be offended. It cannot be offended. It cannot be offended. So, we should try to understand why something happens instead of simply reacting. There's the difference between reacting and responding. Reacting is when emotion comes up, a feeling comes up, a thought comes up about somebody. Do you have that slip of paper I gave you?

[39:51]

Knowing that this question would come up, I gave my teacher the answer to me at the appropriate time. When you let go of your old perceptions, you give people a chance to change. When you do not let go, you are participating in a continuation of their faults. So we create the situation. We create everything. Everything is totally self-created. I'll read it again. When you let go of your old perceptions about Someone, so-and-so is just like, I know what you're like. I know what you're going to do when I do this. When you let go of your old perceptions, you give people a chance to change. In other words, even though you know that so-and-so will always act in a certain way, you don't necessarily attach to that idea.

[41:02]

In other words, you don't have an assumption. So a mind that is free of assumptions is a free mind. And then you can see how things, when something comes up, it'll happen the same way, but you allow the opportunity for it to happen in a different way. So you're not assuming that something will always be the same. Well, the body is trained to have certain responses. That's very true. And you can also teach the body to let go. So when you don't let go, you're participating in the continuation of their fault.

[42:08]

So we reinforce the faults that we observe in others by not letting go. So this is called reacting. Reacting is when this moves and you move with it. That's the bodily reaction, so to speak. You do this, and then because you're trained... You do that. But when you respond, responding means not reacting. But the feeling of reaction comes up, but you don't act on it. You take the backward step, the child feels like inward, and then you see, well, what can I do about this? It's helpful, not simply reactive. And what can I do that puts me in my place without drawing me off of my place? Because reaction draws us off of our spot. And then we become attached to the thing that we're reacting to.

[43:13]

You're driving a car with someone, and they're driving a sport, and your body has a reaction to that. That kind of lets them know that they're driving a sport, or someone's cruising a sport. You know, you can kind of make a face. Isn't that kind of a reaction that helps people know that their way of being is upsetting to others? Yeah, but you can do that through proper response. That's called skill. And you've got to get a little too grasping. That gets up and goes. It doesn't sit around and think about it. Well, you have that kind of inability to, you know, you talk to him wrong. I kind of back away. I'm not going to sit and think about it. What's the best way to do this? Um, you're not allowing the ego to dominate, or you're not attaching to the situation. And if you are enlightened, you respond without thinking, from deep place.

[44:23]

Which, you know, Aikido is, the art of Aikido is not to be aggressive, but to help the person who is attacking you, to save the person that's attacking you, actually, not to harm that person. So that's practice. How do you save the situation? Well, sure, you always make, you know, but as long as you have a sincere effort, what does it say here? I cannot be offended. Um, You know, the main thing is that you have compassion.

[45:39]

If you have compassion, then you're coming from a different place than just reacting. Peter? I know for me, what Brian was talking about, that it's the effort. I mean, that's where no getting idea really becomes important. Because often I'll be trying to do the right thing, but it's so you'll like me. So you'll recognize me, you'll approve of me. And then when I make mistakes, it's not so easy to let me go because my effort really isn't sincere. It's kind of self-serving. But for me, quite a real sincere effort is, no, it's not that you'll like me or approve of me or anything. It's just sincere effort. If I'm truly sincere enough and I can think, it's like, oh, well. That's right, yeah. I think that's right. So, you know, when our effort is simply just an effort to do what we're doing, we don't get so involved emotionally in the being attached to wanting to please and then failing at that.

[46:54]

Um, It's very important. Everything you've been saying about approaching someone else who makes a mistake is very important about ourselves. Absolutely. If you didn't hold yourself and someone who always makes a mistake, then you're stuck. Then you're going to do it all the time. Yes. So it's important, you know, two things. One is to forgive yourself. But the other side is not to be complacent. So it's like Dogen says, when you fall to the ground, you use the ground to help you get up. That's very profound. You stumble, and you stumble to the ground, and you get all the way down, and then you use that firm place of being down to get up.

[47:58]

But if you just keep falling to the ground in order to get up and saying, look how good I am at doing this, then that's not so good, right? That's complacency. So to be able to forgive ourself, but at the same time to work, to make some effort to... to help ourselves. But, you know, there's always the problem that will never go away. Each one of us has the problem that will never go away. And so we just have to accept that. The tendency to self-condemnation is not good.

[49:07]

Not good. That's why I say, you know, forgive yourself first. And then work on... And turn, you know. Make the effort to keep turning. It's like in Zazen, your mind is continually... being distracted yeah I can never have a moment of clarity in the other end you know the big complaint my mind is always and then we bam bam you know my damn mind you know forget it you know We just keep coming back. So you forgive yourself. You don't even have to do that. You know, just say, oh, yeah, more thoughts. And then you come back to your posture and breathing. And then, oh, yeah, more thoughts. Then you let go and come back to your posture and breathing. There's no such thing as judgment. Absolutely no judgment. As soon as you start judging, then you're out of tune. You're out of sync. The judging mind is what does not belong there.

[50:08]

Oh, my mind is always working so, you know, clouding my clarity. That's all. Judging mind. I mean, thoughts will always keep appearing in the mind because that's the function of the mind, to produce thoughts. And we sit zazen with all those thoughts. We don't try to eliminate the thoughts. You can find moments when the thoughts are not there, but that's not clarity. That's just clarity in contrast to thoughts. The real clarity is think, not thinking. The real clarity is whether there's thoughts or no thoughts, the mind is clear. Simply, when you become attached to them, And when you start discriminating, then the mind is not clear.

[51:15]

So to stop discriminating, to stop finding fault, to stop judging, and simply over and over come back. So when I say forgive yourself, it means let go of the judgment and just turn and go in the right direction. This is what the sixth ancestor says is repentant. You know, that's more serious. But repentance means to acknowledge what you've done and turn around and go in the right direction. And we do that in Zazen a million times. In one Zazen period, you do it maybe 200 times. So I can forgive myself for the things that I don't know about, but it's something that I committed. When I believe somebody else, No. You say, this person did this and I felt this.

[52:18]

You know, someone did something and I felt this. Well, I don't know. It just depends on the situation. You want a formula. There are no formulas. You know, this is the finger pointing at the moon. You want the finger to be the moon. We always want some answer that will solve everything. We're just talking about it. We're just talking, this is like, it's pointing in a direction, right? Nothing works all, no answer works all the time. Every situation calls for its own response. But this is, what we're talking about is the underlying attitude, attitude toward things.

[53:31]

Sometimes you get angry and you get you know, pulled off your place. Sometimes someone insults you and you want to hit them, you know. But you don't hit them. What do you do? Kick them. Kick them. Depends on the situation. Depends on, you know. But the attitude of letting go means that you can free yourself from your bondage to your reactions. Forgiveness means, among other things, it means to let go of your bondage to the person that you're forgiving so that you have freedom. It's kind of selfish. We think that when we forgive somebody that we're absolving them.

[54:38]

And that's true. But what it does, it frees us from having to deal with this thing. From having to, from our own bondage to this, whatever it is that you're forgiving the person for doing. So people go for, you know, all their life being angry at somebody and never forgiving them. And so they're totally, they're handcuffed to this person. And it influences your whole life. So cut the cord. And then you're free. And so what if they're free? If you, when you let go of your old perceptions, you give people a chance to change. That's called forgiveness. Sometimes you have to cut that cord over and over. Sometimes. Sometimes, yeah.

[55:39]

But then maybe it's not really cut, it's just stretched. If it's really... Well, this is what happens. This is what happens when you fall in love. And... And the other person goes away. And you're pining and mourning. And the thread gets real thin, but it's still there. And so you can't do anything until it's cut. You can't live your life until that thread is cut. And it's so hard to cut that thread because you don't want to do that. But you have to do it. You have to go... in order for them to be free and you to be free. I'm thinking of something maybe that goes all the way back to childhood, that you've held on to for so long, and you might one day think, okay, I've finally forgiven, and then next period is Aza, and you might find out, oh, maybe I wasn't, you know, although my effort was sincere, maybe it wasn't everything that had to happen to really undo that karmic penalty.

[56:41]

Yeah. Well... You know, sometimes you have to work at, until you get to the point where you can actually... So we have these stages, maybe, of forgiveness. So fault-finding is based on standards. I feel like I can understand that fault-finding is based on standards, but I wonder then how to relate to standards, to throw them away entirely, Maybe you would lose something. Well, let's look at, you know, like, Dogan. Dogan says, you know, he has a very high standard for monks, you know. But you know that all the monks will never reach those standards. And Dogen talks about, you know, in China, the dogs and the monks acting like dogs and all this, you know, and worms and frogs and stuff.

[57:49]

But at the same time, one has to realize that although there are standards, everybody is where they are. So you have to appreciate everyone's effort for where they are. No one can ever reach the standard. The koan of precepts is that precepts are a high standard. No one can fulfill the precepts. If they could, then the precepts would have to have a higher standard. Because it's out of reach. And so standards draw you out, you know? The highest, they keep raising the bar, you know? And raising the bar draws out your energy, draws out your effort, draws out your impetus. But it doesn't mean that you should reach the standard.

[58:53]

It should always be above your head. That's why we put this robe on top of our head when we do the robe chant. We don't sit on it and say, I... We put it up here because there's something higher than our ability. Vicki told a story about when she was your pisto about folding her zagu in the morning and every day you would give her some correction about folding her zagu. Oh, that's right. Was that related to that? Well, she used to get mad at me because a lot of Zen Center priests don't know how to fold their zagu. Fold their zagu. So I was showing her what I learned about folding my Zagro. And she was attached to the Zen Center priest's way of folding Zagro.

[59:59]

And she wouldn't listen to me. I said, no, do it this way, you know. And then every day, you know, okay. Finally, she did. She gave in. But it was hard. When we learn something a certain way, and then you come back in, you know, like I learned things from Suzuki Roshi, from all my Japanese teachers, five Japanese teachers. And to me, that was the right way to do things. And since then, it's lost to Japanese teachers. The way of doing things has been modified over time. So people say, oh, you're doing that wrong. You're doing things wrong. And then they find out, well, I'm not really doing them wrong. I'm just doing them the way I learned from my Japanese teachers. And then sometimes they'll change. Or sometimes, you know, sometimes I get angry. You know, you're doing things wrong, guys. But then I say, okay, I'll just do them wrong too.

[61:03]

And then they'll be right. laughter two wrongs my mother said two wrongs make a right no she said two wrongs don't make a right but sometimes they do i guess one of the questions that came up for me about that story was your relationship over those 90 days like you're holding to a standard how did you maintain like a fresh mind and not How did she know that it didn't happen then? I just realized that she would come around. That was the hardest thing that she had during that practice period. That was a minor thing. The hardest thing she had during that practice period is just before Sachin, her husband left her. That's where she had to exercise her patience. And she did a marvelous job. Thank you. Yeah, yeah.

[62:14]

Well, you know, when I see impatience coming up, she says, how to maintain a fresh mind when in that situation, right? When you're repeating a teaching. Yeah. Yes. You made a mistake. Impatience comes up. That's what comes up, impatience. Why can't you learn this? You're so clumsy. Just to let go of that and just go through this, like you're teaching a baby. Just do it this way. And every day, just do it this way. And just keep repeating the same thing without emotions. And then, you know, temperaments are different. You know, we all have different temperaments.

[63:17]

We all have different temperaments. So we have to work within the temperament that we have. Some people are impatient. Some people are patient. Some people are angry quickly. You know, some people, you know, within whatever it is, that is our temperament, we have to be able to be patient. So patience is really important. Patience. Most important thing is to have patience. When you're teaching, to have patience is the most important thing. You just have to cultivate patience. Not let anger take over. Or impatience take over. Because a person can't learn something when you're impatient. It's interesting. If you teach a dog, the dog senses every subtle emotion. And when you're patient, they respond.

[64:23]

When you're impatient, they sense that. They get scared or whatever. And people are the same. You know? And when you get scared, you can't learn anything. Your mind starts blanking out. So when you see that you're not making progress, you just have to slow down and be patient and treat people calm, give people a calm mind so that they can learn something. I tend to sometimes be very impatient when I'm teaching, but I try. We're in way over time, huh? Somewhat over time. Okay. So, mistakes are auspicious. And it can't be offended if we are patient, if we are sincere.

[65:26]

If we're really sincere, the universe will forgive us and help us because we're just connected to it. That's kind of what I mean by when you walk out in the street and things seem to go your way because we're connected to the universe. And when we act in accord with the Tao, everything works together with us. Oh, it's called Good Luck. Didn't you know that? Oh, everything is going my way. Didn't you ever see that musical? Everything is going my way. Oklahoma. No. As I said, it's not a formula. I'm not talking about a formula. I'm talking about an attitude. Yeah, but then it sounds like, you know, oh, if I haven't asked you, like... No, I don't say that if I have this attitude.

[66:32]

I just have the attitude. And then we'll see what happens. But, like, you know, you still have bad days and, like, really awful things. Every day is a good day. Every day is a good day. Yeah. But that's really different from what I associate with, like, everything's going my way, you know, like. Do you know what Master Rinzai said? He said, I control the world because everything that happens is happening just exactly the way I want it to. Is this a translation? Is it a misprint? Probably. It's not a goody-goody kind of thing. It's like reality. I think it's something of, like, kind of, um, I think I react when I think that I hear, like, you know, low or something, being in tune with, like... Low hear what?

[68:02]

When I think that I hear, like, that, um, you know, like, the feeling of being in tune or something is the same as really being in tune, you know, like... Do you know what I'm saying? Well, being in tune is being in tune. Well, I'm not talking about an expectation. I'm not talking about, I expect that this is going to happen. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about not expecting anything. Actually, not expecting anything. No expectation.

[69:04]

Not expecting anything and then everything happens the way it happens. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Well, we, you know, we tend to think that we don't have an effect on the world. We tend to think that we don't have an effect on the world. But we do. It's conforming to my... But if there's no expectation, how can it be different? When we talk about myself and I, we're talking about our expectation and our idea about who we are.

[70:14]

But there's also, you know, we're not always aware of the effect that we have on things. We're just not aware, you know, and we think, well, I don't, you know, things happen around me and I respond to things. I respond to what's happening around me. But we also condition what happens. I'm not saying that every day, you know, we have this thing. I'm saying that sometimes we're very aware of how that works that way. We influence our surroundings.

[71:20]

And we're influenced by our surroundings. Well... I don't know, maybe. But, you know, also, because of the way we go, we keep going in that way. Right? We all each have a direction. It's called our destiny. Right? Well, yeah. I don't mean our fate. I mean our destiny. Fate is something that's preordained. Destiny is because of this, there's this.

[72:23]

And because of this, this happens. And because this happens, that happens. Yeah, and so you say, well, I can connect the dots, right? And you can see how things are going to go because of the way they've been going. And then you can see down the path and you can see how you intuit that this is going to happen and that's going to happen because of the way these things have been happening. It's nothing mysterious. Simply, you see how things fall into place. It's not that everything happened. It's not that you know exactly what's going to happen all the time. That's not what I mean. We have faith that it's the right path.

[73:31]

It reminds me of a line from a Grateful Dead song, says, I can tell your future by just looking what's in your hand. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Maybe not absolutely, but... But that's so. Because what you do this moment determines what will happen the next moment. According to Buddha Dharma, we are self-creating beings. There's nobody behind us creating us. We create our own destiny, and that's called karma, or the fruit of karma. Our volitional acts are the karmic act, and then the result of karma, when it meets conditions, creates our life.

[74:47]

So we are who we are now because of what we've done in the past. And we tend to blame others sometimes. But how we say, well, my parents were mean to me, and so I'm this way. No, you're this way because of the way you responded to the way your parents treated you. And you can change. You do not have to be tied into that. Because your parents didn't do anything other than be themselves. And you were yourself. Not that they didn't influence what you did. That's a big influence. But what you did belongs to you. And you can change your way of responding. And the best way to do that is forgive your parents for what you think they did to you.

[75:51]

And then you're free. Unless you want to be bound, which is a very safe place to be. Very safe place to be is bound. Very hard, hardest place to be is to be free. Well, because being free is insecurity. It's insecure. When you're tied to your anger, tied to your emotions with others, then it's very safe, even though it's painful. Hmm? Well, you know, of course it's insecurity. That's why people feel so insecure, because it's hard to be free. Sometimes, you know, Suzuki Yoshi used to say, be careful, you know, if you want to get enlightened, but be careful, because when you get enlightened, you may not like it.

[77:05]

I think that's the most profound statement I ever heard. That reminds me of sometimes when I'm not in a situation with a client, using a observer as well as the equipment, what was it, a wall or a door, if I leave myself outside the situation, I might be able to... Well, yes, if you, you know, be a little objective, you know. No, of course. Yeah, as long as you're practicing, You're practicing.

[78:11]

Of course, it's just heavy, obsessive practice. Yeah, absolutely. Heavy, obsessive Buddha. Oh, he said, be careful about your desire for enlightenment, because when you get it, you may not like it. And of course, the mind. Oh, there is actually. I control the world because everything happens exactly the way I want it to. That's a hard one to swallow.

[78:55]

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