Public Dokusan 7

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i of chosen looming
oh
when i was on
reading an introduction to a new suzuki roshi book
i'm occurred to me that i when superior she was giving a talk
everybody said surgeon
as well as they could
and nobody said anything
everybody was ah
listening to the talk and there was no dialogue going on
and ah
oh we were encouraged to the to not have a dialogue going on in our mind
about the dark but simply keep our mind open and listened to the dark
and then at the appropriate time you could ask questions
but otherwise er
doesn't was more important to the talk
doesn't was first and the talk was simply encouragement about doesn't in all its forms
well that was pretty nice because we didn't have our opinions
ah
a bigs couldn't be around in the background
so i guess that was the way we were taught to ram listen to talk
i just want to let you know that
on so on his time for your questions
a corner on spotlight insulting an awesome come down on back and forth a
councils on okay for students are judy mom he can amuse yourself home
thank you thank you surgeon mercy for the wonderful introduction it feels like it really bridges well now my question
in that spirit on
the that this dialogue is unfolding the dharma a few well it's no no kata hopefully right and in my opinion on i i'm wondering what your understanding is of the relationship
between
but being able to really touched deeply and to into pain and to grieving that isn't that a stock place of grieving for the world as an unhelpful attachment no clinging cliffhanger pushing away and i
i was particularly wondering about that
in terms of the the prow the have to pekka of equanimity your understanding of equanimity who that's a good point
yes
you know
and we all feel the pain of the world
i'm compassion you know is one of the brown rehearse also and each one of them for or i contain the other three
so in the case of
equanimity and compassion
compassion is the outflow of our feelings for ah
everyone in pain and suffering
so good at teachers
we often hear this it said the only thing i teach is suffering and how you deal with it as that's my interpretation know how to get rid of it but how you deal with it
so i'm in the case of equanimity all things are equal does not duality call things are equal
does equality
so how do we express equality how do we
body it
ah
oh
in people have different ideas about what size and is
we offer duggan's as is the comfortable way run
thing is the country where or when we start settings as in diameter
ah bar so
but actually the southern is the comfortable way but we have to understand in the realm of equality that pain
suffering
include joy and happiness and joy and happiness include pain and suffering so we want one and we don't want the other
the soccer ball and paid a separate in canada but that's that's deliberate we all have the joy without the suffering we all want the pain i mean we often want a good feelings but at penn but you can't have one without the other you cannot have one without yeah
that's why we know it penetrate we know it's suffering is because even though we want a happiness we can have it without to pay a separate that's the rule that's the law of the universe
everything suffers and everything hopefully we'll have some joy
so within the joy is the just a pain and within the pain is a the joy that's the way it works and is the way they you touch him to that you know as we do on the cushion
it's not some intention to the and are looking for the joy and my pain it's just there it is again breath
well that's what yeah said that when you begin that that's true as as you become mature you just simply cross your legs and that that is this feeling
suffering is when you don't like the freely
think about that because the suffering although you know ah we don't think about it this way if it's in our mind
it's in our consciousness recreate the suffering because we don't like the situation we're in
it seems like you know what's happening is we can't will ourselves into these things it's just the repetition of of the bell rings put on your rob sit down feels like that's the simple practice that is i get you know caught in an idea of what to turn towards
there's this a simple practice is like whenever whenever i am
that experience serious that's what fair and equanimity is the ability to ah
wow
to see all sides
and to not fall into
suffering
but suffering is important without it we we can't
ha without the february with region really live my life
so suffering is an opportunity
a pain is an opportunity
dennis an opportunity to brag
equanimity
what also sounds like what you're talking about is what it is to to be a bodhisattva world course
what you gonna be a buddha
hey
hang him said
are mostly on fog
hi leslie
you done to my left hand corner but i can't hear you because you've turned off how's that good as better what's going to say yeah me too
miss having the opportunity to chat with you and have docusign so here we are
gay and i was wondering i imagine you knew yvonne react golf course very well
and winter practicing i wondered he wanted to say and it she was actually the first as teacher i encountered
is it on boy
you know back in the sixties right she was suzuki roshi is a girl
attendant for a long time and should very efficient she really was smart and efficient and really took good care of suzuki roshi
and a after he died she became the secretary of jensen
and she was so good at that shouldn't really good at it and when it came time to have a new secretary i should how can we possibly be submitted to take her place because she had her figure in every aspect of zen center and all the peripherals
a people who were
a connected with him cheddar cheese is really ran the plates basically
and then ah
as time went on and we have new average
the second album
there was a lot of inner a lot of power
discord and she finally ended up leaving zen center or less than taking up
we're practicing with the tibetans
i was kind of a refuge for her
and and then she she had this wonderful place in
doug downstream from gringotts cause golden road
the threatening
i am ah she promoted you know them she helped tibetans in own a to relate to america in so portland's that was a big contribution for her and she was somewhat estranged for a long time from the
and center and am
i will try i was a very much enjoyed her and tried to help her which was much easier at one point but in the end or we became good friends
so
and then she moved further north norseman
now she's gone
that's the short version right
now one one
quite wonderful we have consists of her thank you like welcome
so my question has to do wish
direction and intention
down the path
i've been thinking about that often on without forever hatched ha
even as old girl but ah
so
i think i was always telling to think of on finding the direction of our life is something that was kind of out there and i think partly it has to do with me now getting older and and looking back on wife is looking ahead and not i don't do too much about but
i just
think about what i might be doing and on
every so often just kind of pausing and questioning and my
what's my direction was my aim on
does that i was thinking that you know i feel like i'm pretty
peasant and responding to things as they help and kind of going with the flow lot is some
how kind of live my life and not so much being really ambitious and like a desire to go out and make something how why such it has been more of the quiet side so i just i just wondered but the i think you know where we being in the present moment and to seeing what's happen
thing there and being aware of everything seems to be service isn't just a point or is that a path with it is to get the passes
oh

come
it's like a cat and mouse
look like a cat sits quietly at the door would pay to the mouse
little home and should very quietly and can can with equipment with a grin fatigue
and soon and that doesn't move around
his coat
relaxing the mind
and then when a person the the mouse appears
very quickly takes takes on the mouth
so that's an example of how you have the path
you you practice exams and of time and meeting circumstances
why the other way you meet circumstances is with a quiet mind
that's why entered open heart
yes totally open and ready for anything
it's like it lit one of the examples like to warrior
the oil does the girl cutting people's heads off for her for her this is is quiet within himself or herself and then a super slots circumstances change
you're ready to do something
so sometimes and be internal or external why a mountain it's an internal but there is no internal and external or i'm know there is
we've got it all one piece right to be content within yourself
the that color doesn't be content with yourself and then you would meet circumstances with that quietness of mine and then you have
respond accordingly
sounds good
that's the best korea okay
what branch of planet with you thank you again
good strong in the audience oh
i think he is most again so that
alex
sir alex
i
oh alex
get see you know how you doing i'm good how good
i'm in indiana so it's past my mentor
i have a more keep up too long ago ok magazine sharp as ever simple question about dozen on everyone who's ever taught me how to use as an has told me to count my breaths oh help
by i also read about she can taza and understand that this method is one of undirected attention
him and so i'm confused about where to place my intention
okay well i'm counting your breath is a device
so it helps us to keeper my our attention focused that's that's all it's about so it's good to when you're when you learn how to it lessen it's good to count your breaths and then when you really haven't
ah difficulty you know what to do you start counting your breaths automatically because it helps you to focus instead of focusing on your pain we focus on your breath
kennedy the breath one
two and then your account becomes absorbed into your whole body it's not just counting sheep
so what is your whole breath and your whole body mind and your breath the each breath and then it takes your mind off him and you're suffering sort of
so that's useful
ah
i'm
the she contessa as you say is and more unfocused or not it is not pinpointing focus is like wide focus
so the narrow focus and wide focus so when you have trouble with your wide focus you come back to your narrow focus and count your breaths so it's a nice device situation is to say it's like to handle and a cup you can handle the up without a without the handle
but when you're in trouble it's nice to get you new trilling tribbles is used a handle on the cup
selena you know the various devices and i will say i really appreciate it that little globe you should be oh
morocco i was handling it didn't
i hope you're well i am no less than touched the us be nice thank him again
i'm not stop these are on
go don't know young okay dar done
he's from iran yes hello is in iran
oh
hi diane i can hear me o reg the out at night main thing has gotten better now is a better yep okay oh
it'll take a just a minute or two before i get to my question
i want to sort of a lay the groundwork of what
my question is if you'll just give me a minute on it
it's a question concerning small mine big mind levels of consciousness and the nature of the mind oh we're all familiar with small mind where where self-centered discriminating and monkey mind is on the most active
aspect of our mind
let's say after sixteen now we're very mindful settled present and hopefully eagles ah
then let's say we have an enlightened experience
so we have these three server
could say aspects of the mind
the
then there exists an aspect of the mind that's aware of all of those three
there's something there's a level of our mind that knows that monkey mind is active or knows that we are mindful over not mindful ah
there's an aspect of our mind that knows that we've had an enlightened experience so i'm wondering ah
what do we have a name or do we understand what aspect of our mind is that can distinguish between these kind of a competent continuum of our consciousness because in vaasa been due to the it's broken up into law
levels but i'm wondering maybe it's it's more of a continuum rather than ah
different levels well
ha
oh
you know in every moment with the new
experience
so our experience is on continually changing
oh
we enter practice because a look what causes a sin motivates us to interact as as are like mine
so you can it's not it's not
we don't really does a bookshelf talk about enlightenment experiences
and then we start working for those experiences and we ignore the everyday ordinariness of our thinking and our existence because we're looking for something better soon as you stop looking for something better and simply except with is that's your life in mind
so ah
oh
know
if you want to experience enlightenment just sit zazen because when we edges as in we entered what are we entered the enlightenment of our mind enlightenment bids producing light
what a means letting go of a naming things
i'm simply letting everything come together
okay but there exists an aspect of our mind that understands what you just said and i'm wondering what aspect of our consciousness is that understands what you just said
well
the
if you wouldn't talk about an inlet in terms of consciousness
under the in levels of consciousness and then when the eight levels of consciousness or turn
oh
the no longer called consciousness the called wisdom
so the wisdom that recognizes
enlightenment is the mirror wisdom
so ah
bit and when when the mirror wisdom is prominent
jim there is no
ah it's just like a mirror that reflects everything as it is so when you really see everything exactly as it is without coverings and without a predetermination
like i know
so soon as you don't know anything that's enlightenment
so mirror wisdom as and as victim consciousness
it's an rated find and it's not small minded slyke a with a grenade was lower an aspect of consciousness okay it's beyond consciousness
and whether the experience a play geopolitical
marco
thank you we welcome
i'll show you
amen
i don't see any i can using it out
i'm tried you i'm trying to
don't they
do you body
a
we really small
does better
i see jake up in the corner there and that doesn't mean that it saying a made me think of this ah
the monk asked judge you because about in the temple and had not received instruction yet ah that those europe's reply that you breakfast the monk said yes and just replied
then wash your ball yes
what would just you have said to among who had been washing his ball for forty years and never tasted so much as a single grain of rice
asked the monk
are you asking me i just did
why should go
when there's no and or washing or bowl we have to wash i bawl every day right but i but at some point in time would be nice if you can take a bite
well first you take the by any watch the ball on the suppose it's possible to spend many many years watching a ball and never chase rice yes and what then
i'm no oh someone asked
the jewish you
oh
what is the most wonderful thing
and he said sitting on mal guy you know guy
march
he called this wonderful mountain shooting a traveler's wonderful man and eating rice
and then what doesn't shed is and why she might go
so whenever you know you should wash it out your mind
which is you bro
don't don't hang out at to anything that you think you know
that ball was in good ball washing
you can get you can get awfully hungry them well that's good
look around for gertrude yeah
always you know it's always good to leave the table wanted your little more
thank you
i'm glad you showed up
so i
i love johnny and common

we're free
hey
i'm sorry i'm having to hold up my phone so i'll just go with one hand ah
whatever the other
and i have to hold used to hold up my phone oh i'm sorry
but i'm my question is kind of another beginner level question on if you can explain the term big mine and and small mind and where the term came from
him
was a small mind usually fruit too egotistical mind which is separation
i'm ah
condition mind it's important we are small mind actually is it helps us to oh
the
negotiate the world
georgia are discriminating line basically big mind is are not discriminating mind
it's the mind of the the in a inch or true self
but they're both out yourself so discriminating mind there are to truth one is absolute truth and the others relative truth small mine deals with the conditions of relative truth
big man deals with the condition self
absolute truth
so we should not stray from a big mind when we're dealing with
and conditions of our small mind
small mind is an expression of big mind in a small way
have you know
yes i make sense just to feel that there are times when or maybe than times when i guess one is dominant over over the other day just are constantly in in play are constantly in play
but sometimes small mind when when am
or self-centeredness takes over
then slow mind is more dominant and covers big mind so a practice is to minimize
discriminating or come
mind so the big my little or carry
a big man becomes our parent
privileged big mine is apparent and small my desire individuality
when i when i first heard the term big mind it may be think that maybe on big mind is something shared his lucifer for their guess it's are shared mind it's a it's a mattress it be
before division before discrimination where are one that's big mind
okay
okay okay thank you thank you
okay job
joe or guy jul i i see good
a
always great to see you up i wanted to ask you about arm
last time you are really emphasize saying are for me taking charge
yeah and i think that was right on the managed a because it's something that i tend to be afraid to do intimidated of doing so and so on the night came up with karen
and you were talking about as she had to take charge route in the library and so that soon of ever you can set helped me on that abuse it is a problem from it as you know
you know up it's something that it's an issue
so there's to pass him in the active
ah ah
so your practice is the balance between the pretzel the active and passive
and knowing when to be active and when to be passive
come
we say that don't touch about
come on
turning and being turned
so turning it is the active principle being turned his the basic principle and so ah if we only are passive or free only are active that's only one side and tell if when with a to cultivate knowing when
surf
when to take to the am the that when to take an active part and when to take the bone
so that you if she only pass if you just get pushed around yes are only active you push it looks around
yes the middle way
right i can that's as much as i can tell you why will i think it depends on circumstance just well partly depends on circumstances importantly depends on discernment yes mostly the penzance and discernment yeah
of what's appropriate and what's appropriate for this situation right for this moment yes and then ah you may need to take the initiative more yes
so do it now
sounds sounds good
thank you
rather not lost
although hi surgeon i'm trying to find you
he probably on the other pitch
although you are a great nice to see you
hum
so many questions ah limited time ah
ah i think maybe
i'm not sure if leslie's your response to leslie's and joe's question of the same to mine now but i'll just what i've been thinking about his arm
for a long time and you just upon this last week in talking about the three marks of existence and the last one being ah ah aimlessness and you you call definitely ticket on in his book called aimlessness known enough
i am i think you'd use a different town when you talked in a lecture last week
sorry candidate
ah
so
aimlessness and it's opposite of our i don't know if it's an opposite maybe i'll look at as opposite of
data setting a direction
yes
yes
ah ah
so
so watch
some studying with those steel like you know
ah like what
like what should the direction be yes i get the aimlessness spot but maybe i get it incorrectly though there was no
it's like when i was talking to a little about basically what i said to literally that's kind of a wilderness it's not that you don't have a direction didn't really have to decide what your direction is
it's a very important to find out what your direction is
so and then sometimes you have to change our direction you know your changer you know they are changing our direction can mean
deciding that will not gonna do something anymore which changes our karma because our karma or our actions create karma which gives us direction
shall we may have various directions but are true direction
no doubt true direction is
dash
never heard true inevitable direction and when i was dealing with that of time we have other directions which give us you know
various possibilities number doctor and the itching for new environment or simply those voser directions but a real direction is a birth and death
on each moment
so desert
how we deal with birth and death on each moment
a real direction and it's called practice
so given that what is an erection
how do we act out in the world knowing what is inevitable
tell me what i get what i lived through the about
being born and i'm and then all the rest of the stuff in between
i'm my wife doesn't little sign on an olive garden he says
life is
no
ah
key
being born and dying and in between we garden
so how do we cultivate our garden that's our practice each one of us has a garden will just go there are
a
a hard line
ah belly
well how do we integrate all that with our surroundings for dutchman catherine
the the smooch is like finding the right direction given the to circumstances in our ledge not just the imagine circumstances we have kick your that too
but that's
the great matter don't cost a great matter of birth and death catch the tea party how we live our lives in the shadow of that

the work and network that are in the light of that

we ten the the and then we know some is
i'm sorry as the that's when we know other direction is
right
so ah
that site
happy birthday by the web or thank you couldn't read your birthday party
no thank you
as i was now were happy that you knew joined earlier
back on
they will focus on question that you just dial yeah
and so so i am the karma of my life in homages the whatever it is right now at this moment no and and
for example ah
micah is to to find a job do ah ah ah ah to get money for sustenance for examples yes i and and that has become our at this point ah
ah
so i struggle with the imagined that you know maybe i should be doings
something else and and for the moment i've come to ghana made me think about it as this is just my mind wandering back and yes yes i agree
okay thank you that's all you want
you know what if i ever once whatever job that you can find your practice within that job
don't want particular
i practice is the most important part of your job
pet
but
thank you
can can they had problems with all video of of costume
thank you i'm okay hi surgeon
where are you well oh i don't know any other page
oh there you know karen yes i can tell by your voice
i slowed
you know given that were all given that i'm going in one direction which is death
i have a question about comfort him
yes when i was young i had envy of christians because i thought i thought they believed in god he got comfort from that but as somebody raised jewish it was all about you know nazi
the ques and and there was nothing loving are kind to me about it and then when i came to practice i thought that on
ah
buddhism is very self reliant you know we don't
put our faith in god and we say it's up to us to practice and have faith in our practice and faith in i'm being able to have to realize
through practice but i find myself self still yearning for something to lean on
what do you think that yes i'm a drug your question oh
oh dog buddha and so forth our names
the the their niche if we drop the names
are we can realize or home
oh our oneness
so buddhism is totally religious
if you wanna talk about guy that's fine we use various names to talk about what is the most important thing or what is your source so what is you know on her own
what is it that we rely on
should are christians lanka and soda juice you know ah
a
i would start of judaism is being a very strict religious practice
oh and god is there but they're all kinds of strange you know and
what happened in the twentieth century
certain that the jews came to america and they found the taken have real a real life in a hooker
and so the became very materialistic the can seduced by the materialism of america and so many people do christians are totally changing
fortunately the buddhist president and been here very long we haven't had the opportunity to become materialistic yet
so we have totally religious practice but it's not oriented toward god
it's like our pakistan is you know you can call it god you to call it can you want meaning ah but the thing is
yeah you know worsen buddhism is self reliant but we're reliant on everything
does nothing that we're not reliant on
it's called independence so we call it dependents
but we don't call it god recall an dependence subreddits it's just a different way of speaking that's all really i don't say it's all the same i read i don't say that but there's some sameness in it this way of expression that you need to have a
a a a an expression a name to express when it is
oh some people may called guards and people call it buddha buddha means independence everything is totally one piece what more could you want
it's not like they're no good nature is is nice to you
sometimes it's really not nice to you
but it's real
so what were but as buddhist we try to understand what is real and not what is nice and what is bad and word is good and where does and so forth
those things are important but the ultimate is what's the truth
so we are looking for the truth rather than settling on some at some ideas
we should always the best thinking what's true and not depend on what speak so although what's being said helps us to think about what is true
so that could thrust of buddhism
what about prayer up
if you wanna if you want to depend operate you know zion is is the most ultimate prayer
just communing with the absolute called excellent for you know we're caught various things emptiness absolute whenever you wanna call it it is a various names that we use depending on the circumstances
and hour what we're trying to express
we use different names but they all about the same thing
what about wanting something more powerful to
what can be more powerful yeah
you know you have all the power you need
him

i guess so
for coconut i just still feel this longing for something you know that's good take care of me i guess even though i know that i'm you know maybe i exaggerate how independent i'm supposed to be
last be so you know we have the buddha the dharma and the saga
so ah leen on the buddha really on and don't really know the sorry but those three are also just herself
you are the buddha your the tongue was turned of when you practice poses the three legs of the of the coffee
so
you know always i have faith in yourself but what is yourself
i'm tired of myself after sixty five years
i know what you're saying no we don't have none
i thank you i appreciate what you said roger the care
you can lean on me for one to thank you
over your last name of honour i can hear you
daniel or yeah work raise your hand
okay i gotcha
i
go ahead
ah
i'm asking about
ah from i go again
preaching of a dream in a dream or preaching or the teaching of the dream state in the dream state and
that's an agreement on a dream

shall i say more sure
chloe in
hmm
ah
but the two points which are stand out to me in the a passage are
about a four three points on
oh
beyond a yin and yang at which was preceded by saying
am
ah
the delusions are boundless and so at the same time ah release is boundless
i'm and then and then after that something about ah
the ordinary weighing scale like a pudding had on the head
balanced look ahead on top rome georgia me
i think i am not sure where i mean i i think i i'm saying like a
head on
oh like putting the head on her head they just
i guess i guess what i understand it with in terms of the where he laid out in terms of a ordinary weighing scale is like i just oh like the mirror or something like you should think justice it is in then nice balance kind of him
so what is your question
on how can you sum up your question
ah
i thought i am
oh on
oh in the end he says a that i'd
oh yeah summing up the question i'd say about them
add the time dream dream state not necessarily i as opposed to waking state but at the end he talks about oh
dreams are like that actual realize that practical realization of buddha's or something is ah in the dream state but he fought he proceeds out by like as like as opposed by sunk by a the constancy of the expounding the dharma in the waking state
so i'm wondering about like dream state but also like dreams day as explained in a
preaching of a dream has been a dream and as opposed to dream state as opposed to a waking state
know
i'm yet to be careful that you don't take everything literally
we are a drink did he dream state is home
know where we all lose we will you know recreated dream rich important to create a dream you know a dream is
ah basically
hello
oh
not substantial
till the waking state is without a dream
no dreaming
which means
oh we don't create
he will redo created
hey a dream within a dream is like baby listen to the outside of our world that dreaming us

and we're dreaming our own dream
our own dream means like
ah
what is my pass
so within the dream of we are of that we live where liveliness the world that's a dream
then within that dream is what we what we do when we're here

but maybe on token only understands what he understands
it's very complicated i have to read i would have to read them fascicle
ah so ah
ah if you would like i can read the physical because adam com era when a teaching job the context
i think i like that
not
ah so
a read the already the classical and get caught up on it and then we can have another conversation
okay okay thank you welcome
oppo
on loss
although this
kimberly came up to the other day and said maybe the universe is telling example
on a can konami and i said
a universe is wrong
all it made me think about that he dug up to the nature among the master says no
levels are master cells neutrophils that matter one also yes
so am i open up the wrong tree well yes
oh
no
joshua a monk as jesu does the dog of the buddha-nature he said know and then another man came and said does the dog out buddha-nature said yes so what is it yes you know
in order to do this is a dualistic question
so duggan makes it an animalistic answer
no has to include yes and your system could know in order for it to be an idealistic understanding
so the universe wrong what is it right
oh
low
lama norbu now chinese it's actually will ah
a boy wanted open again does anybody so we have a little bit extra time does anybody else wanna ask a question
raising a metronome home or something at a job up butler
saudi rushing
ah in your talk on the three marks you are briefly brought up the and intuition and i was thinking about that and just wondering if problems
are we can go about strengthening intuition or lifting my have anything to say on that sort of yeah yes and
well intuition mids basically a dictionary meaning of intuition is
ah direct retouching with black going to the process of thinking
so oh
if will we do have intuition some people's intuition is where his drawings and people's intuition is week
usually people who are intellectually oriented highly intellectual and don't depend so much and intuition but desolate necessarily so
ah because like most inventors
or a scientists
i usually have an intuition about things and then they investigate
so that's good and that's good intuition intuition we should all i know this and others wrote without evidence to be passed through our intellect and then we have to verify it
by investigation
solution that does it to the processes one is because you touch it you know it but you can't but you have to expel to expression
ah rationally or at least understandably
as much as you can and then you come up with you know conclusions know
so is it
your intuition although it
that is directly touching but that isn't necessarily
so it's it's got that kind of reputation of like a
ludo something professional
so it's it's kinda necessary to work together it's not like a thing on its own it's working together with your reasoning edge ears at a desk man
no answers but our reasoning often is dualistic
the higher reasoning is nine dollars the riches with dogs are an understand his news for where he thinks
so he goes back and forth between dualistic a million dollar listing again and then it's very confusing when his name
oh sure yeah to it used to that
so
a clicking don't have it gives us a good example post how to ah
unleash our intuition
uncover our intuition because we tended especially nowadays returned to
depend on our intellect until we can talk to me
you know
was a i have a hunch you know that there is some into it intuitive or aspect to that but it's not just a hunch it's like not really know something
and it is this like dogan as a whole or specific parts that you you think that young as point as pointing towards like how to use intuition him
image
it's all dorgan the whole thing got a muslim woman that ensued atlanta hotel thank you
charlie oh good evening surgeon i i'm completely impressed i am astonished that this afternoon i was listening to a lecture
by richard feinman and he almost word for word just said the same thing that you said only his was a little bit shorter because he was lecturing and he wasn't talked to a specific person
what scientists do is the person they do is to gets lot of thing and the second thing they do is to analyze the consequences of this gas
a third thing they do is to tested with experiment is then that's how they find a new law of science was
and that's very very similar to what you've just said and it's just incredible synchronicity
intuition
thank you for that well thank you sir puts me in a class above what i thought i would
right up there with i'm i believe it
yes but sometimes either scientists to like and a claim that of buddhism
bell
so where are we something were turned off or something eighty most
to and you are more yes says is blake explosion of k k hey said generously and the make new you always hunting for people and the hunt for you
well well color than anyone andrew andrew year and i'm in the mix
oh to about a month and half ago you were at san francisco zen center speaking be a zoom say the and you said of coben chino roshi that he was kind of a mystical character yes what did u n
as maybe a little bit opposed to suzuki roshi what did you mean by that i had added about opposed but yes right now oh well ah
how are we
oh
described lad
hum
coburn had a kind of 'em
ah
i'm i would say

he had a channel
he added channel at a mysterious channel that informed him and will totally intuitive totally intuitive
and guess he had is totally intuitive mystical channel where he would come up with you know and i don't know if i can describe it
oh
a source that he was connected to
ah you know and he would say things and and a
oh no
that were to unique you know who enjoy her and it was based on compassion benjamin you'd probably the most compassionate person you know
outwardly know
add people just loved him for that
and treated everybody like the you know he could he could see into their
then to their on a seconds
and
make decisions based on some
private
mysterious
a ability
so
is connected in connected to the source in a certain way there was very unique
just a quick add onto that did is well i mean it's obvious it's both and he was predisposed towards that and his ah his practice cultivated that was that it would you think that yeah you know which it
was brought up that aged monastery japan to a
a to be an expert in various ceremonies
and when he came to america he just dropped on that
and he just had no he didn't have judgements about people
and he just accepted everybody's practice away it was
and he didn't expect
anything but people really followed him in august
it had some charisma that ah was remarkable
i remember it we used to go to we used to practice together it just plays up north and to me with literally
and reached a home for scenes there
and one time we were it was a house with somebody lenders
oh potter valley each cops then hum
if you hung up sometimes your area
calligraphy that he did
and one time the calligraphy was just hang by one some tech and it was a headteacher and so i want to put it back up and it should no no don't put it back up leave it like that
so there was some he wanted to be as loose as possible
that's what he had his own you know he didn't want to tell people what to do we just wanted to help them do what they were doing and can just be you know
well i can't say it actually
but he had little problems
no fishing the women
ah
thank you for sharing that experience with us and with me
you are
oh what did you get your the question
off on me
thank you gary and high search and yes there's something i've been wanting to ask your surgeon and that is in a i'm not sure if it was a saturday talk or when it was but you you made the statement that quote this could all be dissolved and i wanted to to hear me
more about what you meant by the like he was it is it something more than impermanence or is it a statement about
how you feel about the song as practice or what's going on here
well you know i remember that right well
we have practice or that times and over a hundred practice of it's going really well you know people were sitting as and it was no question about what will you do it right
and then i realize that at any moment and it could all just disappear them in in a flash
like like anything else right yeah click impermanence don't hang it don't take it for granted that the exactly yes
make it for the clarification not
you don't take one
significant mistake
and the whole thing you collapse know
thank you
last long
iris iris
good rosie
our earlier this evening you said
enlightenment brings us to practice nuts
ah so
when i think about the coming to practice it was i wish on an accepting of my life and the discontent that i had and then within practice i started accepting things that would felt a little better little more okay
and in examining the mine
it seems like am
enlightenment is just acceptance
well that acceptance
septic but accepting she's a part of religion
an aspect of enlightening
well i am
not accepting also be part of enlightenment know
so for instance
wiki were just a rose is
ah
there is administration in our country that i have to accept is true is there is there
the
there is a i a non acceptance of that the as the direction that i want to i want to see this country and myself moving forward
so it's loan acceptance of those there are both there and to decent guy what it has to be the opposite has to be included for enlightenment to be realized i would say so ah
so ah i i think i understand now that my discontent which was not accepting my life and wanting something different
i'm the opposite arose of am
needing to accept that and the vehicle was the vehicle of enlightenment though i wasn't conscious of that in my delusion live knowing god delusion this enlightenment
this accepted your delusion as into delusion enlightenment is the enlightened mind the exception but in a room that his enlightenment and as if it's enlightenment is a thing
don't separate as a thing
why couldn't see that when i entered practice i had the the so-called delusion side and the plain sight but you also had the illusion that is the enlightened
enlightened by deserve his our palm basic nature nature yet the corrupt mind kids are delusion
so a little corrupt mind is no longer operating that enlightenment shines forth
though if i
but now in practice if i get frustrated and caught and diluted then i'm losing sight of
the enlightened
activity no
no though if i accept my delusion and my confusion and pain yes might minute revealed and i can perhaps continue on for a few more years to do something about it
you're doing something about it is his enlightenment yes generally nine wants to do something better
i doing something about it maybe just accepting that
yes you have to go out and do something a little for things that two parts what is acceptance and the others doing doing
yes
the the the accepted is the wisdom and the doing is a compassion the activity the activities this one
thank you
liana
hi sojourner actually can you see me and new curtains yes there are parties
with all kinds of curtains a business so you may have just answered what i'm gonna ask but i'm still trying to digest what you just explained to ras so the regret acceptance and doing an earlier you said gerrard i've that
the practically when he was questioning like i have this job to provide for my family but i think maybe i should do something else your answer was practice is the most important part of your jobs
so i wouldn't ask about how intuition
contributes to acceptance vs doing and and where my question comes from surgeon as i just so i've been in colorado now for almost four months and there is a big hiring freeze for nurses because of kobe and then all at once i got three job offers and
my intellectual rational mind sorted these three jobs out and picked one and as it got closer and closer to my start date i started to feel more and more hesitant and the morning before i was supposed to start i called one of the other job offers back and asked if it was still available and then
called that job up and told them i have made a mistake and sorry no thank you
the reason i made that phone call is because i felt in my body
when i would call my intuition i have been so convenience in my intellectual mind about what was the right choice what was the right choice but all along there was a feeling
but if i had just stayed with the job i accepted within like just be
practice like you
earlier that we shouldn't the we should be content he didn't say shit didn't say shit
but being content with what is so what happens when you have choice and you're faced with acceptance of one and doing wine and to see my question or not formulating it but i bet you hear it if you can if is not if there's no chocolate and take vanilla
but what if they're both there
will you have a double cone

how a little chocolate lover know
but the first choice might have been okay and other words this is my lot now
i have to outdo the perfect and days vertebrae but it's also okay to change your mind will see and that's what comes up for me but than my question is will how often do i change my mind how often to run away from something that i thought looked good at this point and suddenly it's not the shiny object anymore he didn't run away from it he just
i don't think you ran away from it because sometimes you make a decision and you and at the last minute we realized it's not a bright decision and then littler the decision feels good right that's exactly how it felt that's fine
okay it's okay to change your mind
so changing your mind is also part of acceptance but yes of course i changed my mind that and i feel okay about that and everything we want something better or different and that's part of the deluded mind that's also still part of it was okay because his plunder sharing the loot
in mind
does just that
new let's not overthink it is
ikea levitan zito urdu competence in overflights i the idea of definitely thank you for reminding me to welcome
for shepherd

he saw her i think i did do that work your hype yes look cousin i want to start off by saying how grateful i am that to make yourself available for docusign it is just a fit a wonderful wonderful part of you thank you very much
ah my my question is
is it has to do with a conversation that you and ron nestor had a few months ago and it was a about spontaneous enlightenment and nirvana and somewhere in there you said
maybe you just deluding yourself or maybe it's delusional
and i have a real struggle but with self doubt and delusion and distinguish between the two and i get caught up in it and i'm not quite sure how to unravel it how to stop the self doubting not and the delusional
part of my thinking doesn't make any sense to you that the us is i'm i i i sit saw them frequently and i find relief in that loop but the self doubt never really resolves itself self-doubt about what
of myself of my person of of what i'm facing at the time it takes on various aspects
yeah
come on
it can diminishes your confidence yes

how do i distinguish between self doubt and delusion
i'm
well when you have self doubt
and go read into when you're doubtful about
take a chance
take take a nap take the opportunity to go read into it out so that you can really see what it is you're doubtful about
whatever why my a doubtful about this okay glad i don't feel about myself why what is it it stopping me yes i can i can visualize what that might be but ah you know you've been successful as a doctor
right yes
yeah and now you're retired i think yes and ah ah
there's no reason for you to feel doubtful about yourself i can tell you that believe it
at that better yeah you know you're getting older now ah
yeah
home
you need some verification
okay yes but it's good advice thank you very much to go into the doubt and asked when i'm doubtful about yes what what in my natural what much matter right less thank you again
okay last question will have baker
where are you a soldier
to find you have over here the okay
hi over the years you said you submit
many suggestions to me and when i never forgot or but it took me a long time to figure it out course i always disagreed but
you right about everything i have to say
thing was our he said one time on
yeah yeah a little it
yeah i miss you so am i just wanted to say he will ride again
to ballet
i sit and devlin about i still am ambivalent about so much that my but i but i see it now i see it really clearly and i just sorta kit navigating those waters in am
and i'm still here
on whether you're still here and i read that you're showing up
but i'm glad you're still here to a call
you sir
thank you very much for the evening