Sojun Roshi's 90th Birthday Party

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good morning
so
hum
welcome to my birthday party

i am
this hat was given to me when i gave a talk at the faithful full off
gentle in the tenderloin in san francisco which i don't know if a film going but it was ah
write them a ah
ann mason at a or something
and it was a m
people could keep enough the street to
get taken care of and thousand and whatever so it was kind of them
a street vendor
and very nice idea and so i was there was a member here who was one of them at instigators and i was invited and they gave me this hat and i keep it around to remind me
suzuki roshi used to say
ah we're all have good have bad
so if you think he really good you should look at the other side
and if you think you'd really bad you should look at the other side
have gonna have bad have foolish and have a serious
so this morning with a rabbit ears or whatever they're called
monkey not my kind of ears or nose
a martian years
yeah
yeah they're all handed out morning so i
i said well this is a good opportunity for me to show off
my hat
i keep it on a wall to remind me
ah
ah i've just you know to ah
ha
remind me to be careful
so
i wonder how to see everybody and actually people i don't even know i don't think i do anyway
but i ask is great that we should do this every day

so
people wonder you know what's it like to be ninety i should wonder that
how is the kind of get in

if anybody has battery
i good

john
so

we still kept her dial telephone for a long long time
and now i have a m

good
yeah

so i want to talk a little bit about i didn't know what that
i was asked this morning where you going to talk about instead i don't know
that was about six o'clock now seven o'clock
but that i often do that i wait until they're they're talking
and so it feels more spontaneous and put it puts me in a in a good position because i kind of act under pressure
when i have a lot of pressure it isn't even a get killed altogether
so i kind of like it i wouldn't call an adrenaline rush but something like that
so
yesterday afternoon we were having tea
yeah out here in the courtyard as we do on friday and peter or to lose their and he made some mentioned about
when we opened this present on dwight way
and he should we didn't know what we're doing
and ah i took a little of front of that but

peter peter and lives my wife and peters sister twin sister
an
used to live in a house dog
six bucks
from here
and ah
they would come every morning deserted and it this isn't the sixties
sixty well the seventies seventy we've started and sixty seven but there were some early say very early sixties
i'm or seventies seventy one under seventy actually
seventy
and we opened the zendo and sixty seven and they were regulars every morning almost and they weren't so many people of course we just beginning and we had no advertising you will just word of mouth which it's always been just word of mouth
and i liked it that way and
you know we have these three positions the door on the our town
ah the coquille who announces who does have nothing and and the victor who does the drum and we have those positions are filled by three people but in in those days one person did all three
that was very common
nowadays people are flustered if somebody didn't show up but
ah and it worked very well but i didn't know what i was doing
because as when suzuki roshi asked me to come and i had not been practicing
very long
when he asked me to open the zendo in here in in a berkeley because i was living in berkeley i had a girlfriend now moved to berkeley
to be with her
otherwise i would have stayed in san francisco but we used to go to san francisco every morning i used to
i'll pick up the people sugar she had students in in a berkeley and he'd come over every monday morning
to anyone we wish it doesn't he will give a little talk and then we had service and breakfast and it was very sweet you know maybe ten people and it will move from house to house
cause we didn't have any zendo
and am
ah
he ah
asked me if i would find a place to open a debt that we can have agenda that was permanent permanent in essential
not moving from house to house and so i found this wonderful lol
victor kind of victoria american victorian and i way one of the biggest have to send right way the cop sees to come every once in a the capsule wonder what we were doing there and come and say oh yeah we used to find alice dope in the laws in this house you know
yeah it was a famous hours for trenches so but how we took good care of it that's the whole other story
and
ah
i forget where i was

yeah i know that
she like
yes
yeah astra and do it i knew it was i don't know now
i had a my vision was
to to have as and though
that a local vendor
for people living in that not ejected neighborhood but in in town because in berkeley
berkeley's a neighborhood l by itself with smaller neighborhoods so for anybody who want to become a course but ah
a local people and lay people i was not ordained anything like that but my job he never did tell me what to do he just said find the place and take care of it and i did a great i mean he could never find a place i said today course the rent was one hundred
and thirty dollars a month
and and had a look at a ron was one of the first people to a to live there in the basement and he was a run of great it feels that way so helpful and he headed a diverging of course
right wanted to be a window washer that was there was his ambition of the moment as a everything that run does
ah is to take to do it it as well as he can't as well as he could and for results being into what he's doing and at that time early seventieth he he just wanted to be a window washer and wash windows and he just did
it like you know as if it was a
taking care of the whole world and it was wonderful
so anyway
and then headed upper story an attic huge addict wonderful attic
have we turned that into presenter
we were there for twelve years
and oh
we knew that we wanted to
we will first we want to buy that place
and mr jones who owned it like to see deterioration
he was from the south
you know insulted could zoo
and couldn't do kind of destroys everything you know it make at at it
no i mean
yeah so he kind of like that feeling that southern drilling of deterioration
my son
live symbiotically bet he doesn't like berkeley because it's has the feeling of deterioration
nice nice modern stuff well anyway
so we want to buy from and we kept this is before reagan after reagan everything changed
guess what all the prices of housing went up
envy at i don't like about happen to too much better
rents for cheap we all had cheap rent and you can be a an artist or musician or whatever and you could live in the town without
ah over doing it but he didn't have to spend all your time making money in order to find place to live
like it is today but a hundred and thirty dollars a month that place
it was great it anyway so him he kept string is like we we often forty five thousand dollars
can you imagine that because that was the houses like network going for it in their seventies
so i rode my bike around town looking for places to
fernando
i didn't know how i was looking i look for something and it was really hard to find something because i'm not that they were expensive because because
it's hard to find something suitable for agenda
and i have
there was a woman who was a nurse
and she
he said that she knew a man who owned a place like this letter back this is the place he on
and
he would he would like to sell it to us and we didn't have any money
we had raised about twenty thousand dollars
you know toward buying a house
i'm someplace
and
yeah

so he wanted to sell it to us he had
i don't work on the other property and so alert by his place
we had fundraising drive course
and i asked everybody
the saga que
contribute to hundred dollars
two hundred dollars is a lot of money
ah wonder earhart member est trump you do
best was a ah
new age
improve it
ah ah
i don't hurt you call it
training yes new edge training
and
he charged everybody for weekend two hundred dollars and so if he can charge two hundred dollars i can check i can ask people for two hundred dollars for something really worthwhile
and people came forward and a contributed a loan money
this little or no interest or and some people are a lot of money so it's a great inspirational feeling
and of you know i'd wanna go to the details but
we were able to actually buy the place
i'm without telling the bank
so he financed it
ah
would so he took over his mortgage
and that was that was okay just before we bought it
then at at the time that we did by they changed the rules that you couldn't do that so he had been very quiet but we paint the mortgage every time every month for many years
and then i bank found out about it
and they didn't kick us out a repossessed day
i'm just charged us more interesting
eleven percent
from about from about five or six or something
yeah but and then a
am
a few years ago
the method members who could afford to do this got together and paid off the mortgage
so that was wonderful know we've always had some as to generosity in osaka we have always depended on the saga reading outside of the saga for
sport
that kind of support always been within the saga and i have to say how grateful we all are i am
to the generosity and all of you
in the saga
up
we've never had a
i'm fine edge of a serious financial problems in fifty years over fifty years
which is incredible i think a part of it is due to mind
niagara day and lack of understanding if i have
true through that will anybody who knew anything would never do anything like that
so forth
rush in where angels fear to tread
oh

i'm
so that's a little bit of history
i'm a displaced but you know when we moved in
ah this was a house
with the what was the while running down on the lengthwise and there were two apartments
that's what is with and so we and
ah
there was a
very nice architect young guy
net forest who volunteered to
design help us design or argento
so we worked with him for some time and anna a group of us
this is the design we came up with and then we had carpenters who are
members young carpenters who liked doing this kind of stuff and they were at that time joinery japanese joiner he was very popular with with carpenters and so they just really love the idea of doing this and when we started this project
they were working for almost nothing
at baylor coach as we get as we continued
everything costs more and takes more time in the building trades you have to know if you if you ever want to build something
out of would he's know that is gonna cause motor and tennis can take longer but you fool yourself into believing that it's not
yeah that's just a weird if you fool yourself into thinking that you can do it for the price that you thought it was at the time but anyway was a great project it really everybody on this the whole saga really participated in building this
building actually let me just carried it
i poured the concrete
ah
this for and the cedar than the ceiling and the floor is ah feeder and so we that is very low grade feeder and so we learned at a bargain and a saw it all out through the mill we had to slice the this board
a little less than three quarters
because of the side and ah
so what i saw every board go through the mill and and be tagging removed and cut and and slashed and have
let me put it all the other
and ah you know these corners to make those corners match as they come together
that takes real skill
because it looks like it you know to fall together that is both death i can i can remember working on to boards all day long to get them to meet match so this is a a a
a project of
love and devotion
yeah
so the boards that didn't have much you put in the middle and the answer under the time the ones would not surrender the tenth
if you're not sure that pretty good
and so that it's it's the world can of soft it's not real hardwood
and so we have to be careful about it but we've done pretty well
and then
we raised that building next door
it was a two story building
with it a ballot five foot
a ceiling and the basement
so in order to
use this ability which we took away the housing we had to substitute something comfortable that that's how it goes in berkeley if you take away living space you have to substitute living space in some other way to matter
well you don't take away living space for something else so we raised that building and put the floor underneath it
that where my officers
they were rushed live and that was a big job
the have raised up to half with don't how the fun of three feet down for the foundation but in the new foundation and we did all that work ourselves our members did all that work and so

ah ha
yes i'll tell ya thanks so many for you the karmapa you know to come up a the tibetan was just below the dalai lama
and an and da moda to which is forming their practice in berkeley that time
and
we were working on this building and so are zendo we be working on this bill alexander was well as the community room
we put in the times
the matter tommy's and we had the
the aisles were like this and so that was zendo while we were take care of the building this and at the karmapa wanted to come and visit us he wouldn't to visit the various places
it really nice guy so he came
the dharma da to our students were it were suits and ties and there they had a very high class kind of a finger foods and then they had the they come up as guard
and they came in limousines
and we're packing on the street all alley limousines are part on the stampede
and
so they escorted karmapa out and he was in the center of the week to listen i work lived upstairs
are the time
and so he was upstairs and downstairs i can't remember the exact thing but
we had a a whole saga with their and and in the garden and they come up and his entourage
and they brought in his chair this is it they brought in his
i was equipment in a kind of bubble you know
the invisible level of course
but his chair and and his table and his implements and
a
my wife lives had managed to serve him tea but they wouldn't let her
because she wasn't bothered with bubble
a you really pissed off

but it was it it really in need event in a very nice event and he was very gracious and
ah

so wonder that thinks that i wanted one of the
my vision
because i had studied with suzuki roshi and been a tough a horror and awe
tasha horror started at the same time is the berkeley zendo we bought it in nineteen sixty six and seven
and berkeley center started nineteen sixty seven so suzuki roshi
used to come every monday but after tassajara was going here he was too busy to come on mondays and the other japanese priests that we had category
you know say and yoshimura
we had all those japanese phrase which really gave us a wonderful flavor of japanese practice
ah ah
fujikura issues would come sometimes of it most he was taking care of the sahara and cutting here you will come in emergency
so he always had
for a long time
their presence
but then they've got too busy and so it was kind of left me when i came to an ice
i found play found this place and was beginning to practice
i was the caretaker i was nuts teacher
and i never presented myself as the teacher i was
the guy that swept the floor and kept the cushions in shape but at the same time
i didn't build it up
so it was a kind of ambiguous thing and i learned how to be the teacher through being a to caretaker
but i never presented myself as a teacher for a long long time until actually
it was ordained
social security ninety sixty nine two thousand and fifty nine
i'm physically though she had wanted to decide whether i should be dead a tough a horror of and berkeley but he decided berkeley because
ah he wanted me to continue
and what what i was doing her and encourage the students as well so excited berkeley nineteen sixty nine
so
ah my the way i
thought about the practice here was a people would take positions just like at tassajara
then everyone would have some kind of position
taking care of have to look your animals are taken care of
cooking and so forth
and it's always worked that way so it's kind of quays a monastic temple
for
basically lay people
to give lay people an opportunity to have a fuller practice and just coming on sunday for its sermon
so daily practice i was very gung-ho i said twice a day
and did everything
and then anna
when i had dharma transmission nineteen eighty four that's when i allowed myself to be the teacher
a gross was go and nineteen seventy one yes
hi
no said
my job
yeah yeah i always said i am a citizen if anybody wants to come in two thousand
with me that fine if they're not that's okay i've just always gonna be here this is what i do and you're welcome to come and i also said that
ah i'm not a teacher but if i teach you something that fun fewer if you you can always ask me questions and i will do whatever i can to meet you and
teach you whatever i can
but that my relevant what is not to be the teacher is simply to be to take care of the spliff and help everybody to do what they're doing
saline and people come and ask me they say would you be my teacher and as a well if i'm teaching you something and you're there and you'll want to continue then
as long is that's happening
that's what's happening i don't want and everyone you know some teachers at very formal teacher student relationship where they
do some kind of ah
a ritual but i never done that
if you're and at anybody street the kellogg even to have somebody been practicing for twenty years and i decided they want to go someplace else at fine because my my attitude is not to be attached to students or for them to be attached to me
but as long as we have our association like the association is working that's why when it's no longer working that's fine too
so this
lot of teachers
worry about their students i mean i'm concerned about people who of course i'm associated with and can put
i don't worry about that
everybody just free to come and go and i'm just doing what i'm doing and i just
ha ha me
you know it's like it is wonderful poem
ah
i'm not sure who it's by nobody is but they think it's maybe tarzan
the blue mountain is the parent of a white cloud
the white cloud as a child of the blue mountain
i'm
all day long they depend on each other without depending on each other
man those the blue mountain the white cloud is always the white club
that can epitomizes ah
the sense of our practice
as long as we have is
relationship and it's working that's great
when it's no longer working or needs to change your be different and people come and we practice for sometime and then people leave ten years later
someone comes back and it's just like it always was nothing's changed here
or things are changing our time but but ah
at the same time things are changing
so it's the same place
ah
and then we just take up again where we left off as if nothing had happened
so
i guess this time to go eat ranch something again