the next and The idea is that our prayers The prayers by us the so-called living Can help lead the so-called Dead towards an auspicious rebirth now Whether one believes in that or not We follow the way of our teachers and their teachers and so we observe it and It certainly gives us a A marker a point in time in which we can Check in with ourselves and with each other about how we're doing in the face of this loss

[01:01]

So we will observe this on That the 49th day is figured from the day that one passes away so officially the 49th day would be on the Wednesday the 24th and so we'll have a short service on Wednesday morning the 24th and we'll have a little longer service on the Thursday nights when we've been gathering to share recollections of sojourn Thursday night the 25th of this week Now it's also really I just was Very touched to be able to Do the memorial this morning for for Moffat Hall? And to have her husband and son there I've really appreciated being able to Talk and work with them over the last over the last week after Really not being in touch with Moffat for for quite a number of years

[02:10]

She had some some really difficult and painful health issues and Now she's she's at peace and I hope you will read those memorial pages there. They're really it's like opening a window on on a Life and actually this could be true for any of us right all of us have these very complex and rich lives that Others of us only know the barest outlines of so I appreciated that a lot So over the last couple of months I've been reading the Hebrew Bible And I'm not sure why I Think it has actually something to do with Working out aspects of my relationship with sojourn

[03:11]

Although I'm not Clear I can articulate that I Was born in a Jewish family and had considerable And highly dysfunctional Jewish education at the synagogue and Following by my bar mitzvah, I never really set foot back in there. So I I am NOT a Jew boo, but I am deeply Jewish in formation Not in belief systems and I Want to Maybe reassure you that I'm not I Hope I'm not on the road to a Religious revival or reconversion But what I find I'm opening my door to the appreciation of

[04:18]

Things that are there in the tradition that I I rejected I rejected outright For reason of family dynamics For reason of that unskillful religious education and also for elements of the theology and Scripture that are still very different possible for me to accept But there are also things that are truly human deep It's worth noting I think that before he came to Zen So Chen was studying mystical Judaism Kabbalah and I Believe that he knew quite a bit about it and he referenced this in his talks from time to time I'm getting a note that my volume is low. Is that true for other people? No, okay

[05:28]

He referenced that from time to time and I regret that I Really never discussed it with him and that was you know, not that I think he would have been open to it but Okay, hang on just a second I'm gonna look at my micro my audio settings my How about this is this any better yes, okay. All right Anyway, we never discussed those traditions and I regret it it's a brilliant missed opportunity So in You very strange, you know, I've been encouraged to I've been Solely trying to move into Sojin's office and make it my own and I have a lot of difficulty. I go in there and I go kind of blank

[06:32]

Because his presence is so thick in there for me and But I found this book on his desk where it'd been I think it had been on his desk for a number of months and I I picked it up and took it home and started reading it. It's called the last of the just and It's about it follows a family One family in which was reborn every generation what was called one of the Lamed valve Sadiqeen The 36 righteous ones and there's a there's a in mystical Judaism, there's a legend that there are 36 hidden wise men in the world who preserve

[07:35]

the order of the world However flawed that order might be So in our Buddhist context we can refer to these as Bodhisattvas and actually in in Shingon Buddhism they refer to the five secret bodhisattvas and we also have the In Dogon in Genjo koan we have this wonderful line when Buddhas are truly Buddhas They do not necessarily notice that they are Buddhas However, they are actualizing Buddhas who go on actualizing Buddhas and I think that that is really resonant with this notion of the beloved of And Finding that book on sojourn's desk was a

[08:39]

Curious Coincidence because it leads me to think maybe he was one of the Lamed buff You know a A hidden a hidden wise man not so hidden, but still Not making much of it So to go to these two words that that to me Express a teaching of sojourn the two words that The Japanese word that we've all heard him say again and again is I You know you knock on his door and he would give an abbreviated height Which technically means yes But it means much more depending on the context and the tone of voice

[09:43]

It's an affirmation a confirmation that Here I am I'm responding. I am ready to turn my attention to you And in Hebrew the word Appears 178 times in the Hebrew scriptures. The word is in a knee Which also has a technical translation of Here I am And of course means so much more than that He nanny is How a child responds to a parent And also how a parent responds to a child

[10:47]

How lovers respond to each other How a person responds to God And in certain instances how God responds to a person It's a conf it's a confirmation of presence Saying you have my full attention And also that I am prepared For whatever I am called to meet And I hear the mutual resonance of sojourns high And the biblical in any They are the same thing to me And they have a different they may have some different envelopes of meaning

[11:55]

but let me just give you some context in the Hebrew Bible, so you see so you have a sense of how it was How it was written that was spoken In Genesis 22 After Abraham has been Rewarded with the birth of sons very late in his life And that is the most precious thing to him In Genesis 22 Says And it came to pass after these things that God did tempt Abraham I'm not sure how he tempted him. I looked and I can't quite see but he said unto him And said unto him Abraham And he said and Abraham said behold

[12:56]

Here I am In a knee And then God said Take now thy son thy only son Isaac whom thou lovest And get thee into the land of Moriah and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of That Is what The Hebrew God was asking of his servant Abraham And by saying here I am Abraham was Opening Himself to the possibility of anything that God might ask of him. I'm gonna come back to that In Exodus 3

[14:00]

This is when Moses is still in Egypt before the plagues He saw a flame a fire out of the midst of a bush and he looked and behold the bush burned with fire and the bush was not consumed and Moses said I Will now turn aside and see this great sight Why the bush is not burnt And when the Lord saw that he turned aside in others he he sort of turned away because it was it was A mysterious miracle God called unto him and in the midst of the bush said Moses Moses and Moses said Here I am And this is where he was instructed as

[15:06]

To how he was to lead The Jewish people out of slavery and out of Egypt And in the third A Version which is which is a little different in the book of Isaiah was one of the prophets Isaiah is saying To people you will call and the Lord will answer You will cry and the Lord will say here I am So this is the parent responding to the child And I'll say just one more example of Which this is Different very early in the book of Genesis

[16:09]

After Eve and Adam had even eaten of the fruit of the tree of life The Lord was in the garden and looking for Adam And the Lord God called unto Adam and said unto him where art thou And Adam did not say here I am Adam said I Heard thy voice in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself And that starts a whole painful dialogue between God and Adams like well, how did you know you were naked, you know, and Discovers that they had eaten of this tree that they were forbidden

[17:15]

So these are the biblical these are biblical Moments And I just ask you to hold them I'm not asking you I'm not giving them to you as religious instruction When one knocked on sojourn store If he was there and you could you know, you could usually tell if he was there by whether his blinds were open And I will confess that in the Six weeks since his death. I think every day I Look out my kitchen window To see if the blinds are open It just it's so it's so deeply imprinted in me Anyway, if he was there he would answer hi

[18:20]

And As I said in Japanese this is translated often as yes, it also means Something Like I hear you I respond to you So surgeon explained to me once that he had made a practice for himself I'm responding to every person who not No matter what he was doing whether he was reading or writing or eating or doing calligraphy He would sit down his task and turn himself to the person who came through that door Now it's true that From time to time one might not feel that one had his entirely complete attention you sometimes One's presence was in interruption, but really that was that was the exception

[19:28]

mostly He really turned his attention to you if you came to the door and that door was open to everybody And just so you understand that's actually pretty unusual That's pretty unusual. Maybe it's unusual in our life It's unusual in my experience with Zen teachers But It was really usual With him and I always I really once I understood it. I really admired this practice I still admire it and I aspire it to myself So I hear height or Hineni As parallel expressions of Readiness Willingness Receptivity

[20:29]

The readiness and the ability to respond to Whatever arises moment by moment and this I think is A Miraculous practice and actually I think it's the heart of Zazen That in Zazen our mind and body are open To what arises to the call of each moment You could think of it also as Our practice of Kinyin Every step in this walking meditation Every time I put my foot down I Have a realization

[21:35]

Here I am Hineni I feel my feet on the ground And Then I move forward I think that that's what we practice in In Zazen with every breath it's Hineni It's high yes, I am I Am or I want to be open To what whatever arises and the practice of Zazen I Think the The inner mechanism of Zazen Creates that capacity in ourselves

[22:37]

We might not have you know, some of us And I include myself Have quite a bit of impatience You know, we don't I don't want the next moment I want something that I think is going to be better Nonetheless I'm going to get the next moment and As We practice we develop The skill not to turn away from that moment And we just we develop the patience to incorporate and accept that moment as Exactly as it is So There's a difference I will say

[23:40]

between what I hear as or read as sojourn's practice and The Hebrew scriptures Now this is just my interpretation I must own that I feel Beginner In Reading these scriptures, you know, it's peculiar to read these scriptures at the age of 73 To start reading them but I appreciate That I'm able to and interested in it, but the distinction that I hear has to do with the nature of one's response Sojourn's height Was not just an announcement to the person who was knocking at the door It was a call to himself

[24:44]

To remind himself of his vow and practice Not to be attached To the last moment But to pay attention to the new moment the new call and To begin again Fresh With the awareness that that's a real opportunity starting again and again and And I would say Once more and that is the heart of Zazen In fact, I've heard sojourn say this that Often we think that there's something wrong with our Zazen because we can't Maintain our attention on our breath or because

[25:51]

our Slippery minds start thinking about Lunch or work or whatever And What I was taught very early on is that's not a problem that actually the fundamental act of Zazen is returning It's noticing. Oh, here I am I'm thinking about lunch. Okay Now, what was it that I was trying to do? I was trying to sit upright and make sure that my mudra was was open And so it's that re-centering listening to the call of one's own practice Beginning again and again and again So

[26:52]

The biblical Hineni Again My understanding may be incomplete and I know that there are there are Mystical ways of reading it that are probably a lot closer to What we're talking about in the context of Zen But What I see as a kind of Open message of the Hebrew scriptures is a Call to be obedient to God And That's difficult for me, ah I Remember Did any of you ever read the empty mirror by Jan van der Vettering?

[27:53]

He's a it's incredible book He's a Dutch Mystery writer Who in the 50s did intensive Zen training in Japan And I remember I heard him interviewed by Terry Gross once and she was asking him about his religious Orientation and he he shouted I want to beat up God And I can understand that Ah God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son and only at the last minute When when Abraham has the knife raised? Because he was a good boy and he was very obedient and he was going to kill his only son

[28:56]

Because that's what God asked him to do Only at the last moment did God stay that And Of course without getting into further theology God sacrificed his son His own son in the form of Jesus You know, you just do not see this in the Buddhist tradition What you do see in the Jataka tales the tales of the of the Buddha Of the bodhisattva before he was Shakyamuni Buddha is That Bodhisattva sacrificing his or her own body to save other beings But not to a higher power And in fact where

[29:57]

The Hebrew Bible If if you've read it includes goods vast Tracts and passages descriptive of how precisely to do animal sacrifice Which was also very common in the pramanical tradition that that the Buddha Lived in Ah There's no the Buddha eliminated animal sacrifices in in his in his religious practice so, um, I Think we are taught to be Responsive to ourself not obedient to a Higher power for another being and that's that's quite unique in Religious traditions in many ways

[31:01]

So I Just think about the sound of so Jens voice the that pretty sharp I That I always felt I Always felt that it allowed me to walk in the door And I think many of us found that hard that his door was was open to Was open to us And This is a practice that I I certainly encourage for myself and so practice that I want to continue Not just in a figurative way but in a liberal way To and I think to some extent Laurie and I have done it in terms of I Wanting our hat the door to our house to be open so that anyone can knock on it, huh?

[32:17]

And part of that motivation is Well, whatever somebody brings the door Is probably going to be interesting Sometimes could be trouble, you know, but Generally interesting and so Jim was interested. He was very interested in what was going on in his students lives and I Really cultivate I Hold to that principle, even though I may not be perfect in my attention So Just say yes Just say here I am Say it to yourself say it to those you who are around you and say it to the universe in Zazen So that that's the practice that I wanted to speak of this morning

[33:24]

Let me Leave time for for questions and thoughts now And I'll continue with other other points of practice and in the weeks to come Thank you goes on for everyone who has a question, please raise your digital hand or Send a chat to the Saturday director and I'll read that for you. Thank you Okay, I see Ben Let's see, I Don't see anybody Ben go ahead and unmute yourself Thank you for your tacos on Can you hear me? Okay. Yeah, okay great I remember from a Dharma talk that I

[34:29]

Heard on the San Francisco Zen Center website many years ago when I I first started practicing and I think the talk focused around Ananda and Ananda saying yes to the Buddha and I don't know if you or anyone else here knows of that that story It just came to my mind during your talk and I didn't know if you could share anything about that. I remember the talk Focusing on how Ananda was always ready to say. Yes. I'm here And how that was a good practice for us well, I don't remember that it's specific but That's what we're supposed to do right as good Zen students are supposed to say yes, huh? Yeah, I would say that's not an absolute Sometimes there are moments when you should say no But always I think it's good to say here I am I am paying very close attention to what's being presented, but it's not an absolute some in some

[35:34]

Zen settings and other religious settings You know if the teacher or figure of authority Says you should do something then Unquestion unquestionably You should do it, but I don't feel I never Had that instruction or message from Sojourn Roshi and I don't feel it and I think we really have to we have to hold on to our Moral agency at the same time But the Buddha never asked Ananda to do anything Untoward I truly believe that Thank you, Osana Linda Hi, good morning, I just thought I'd give you a Report on the movie that went on here when you started to compare hi to Hineni

[36:37]

I As soon as you mentioned the example of Abraham saying that to God on that occasion I Went into a kind of molten near volcanic eruption Because of the nature of that story Thank heavens that I didn't explode all over you or you I didn't have to because you then actually made those Important distinctions that you made later So the biblical Hineni Though you could say it sounds like I'm here like the Zen. I'm here. I don't Think I would compare it to me the story of Abraham is an obscenity and As you said, it's about obedience and about Abandoning our sense of moral agency So Thanks for

[37:41]

Acknowledging that and I I don't really have a question. I just wanted to report what I went through Right. Well, thank you. Um, let me say something to that because That This is my second time in the last 10 years Reading the five books of Moses and the first time Everything about them Catalyzed a response the response that I feel you're describing The second time is I'm asking myself what's going on inside me? And I'm using those stories I'm not agreeing with anything

[38:47]

I'm just using it as an examination and I feel they're Virtually every virtually every major figure in The Hebrew Bible is Seriously problematic On a Number of different perhaps moral grounds, so I don't want to get into a long discussion about it. Uh-huh but I think that What speaks to me about in any is to ask where am I? And If I can use that I will use it I will use anything I can To Try to pay attention To how I am and

[39:53]

How living without necessarily Believing the The doctrines that they said it seems to be attached to so anyway, we can certainly talk about this more, but I'm not For me, there's a resonance for you. There may not be a resonance. I understand that there wasn't you know This resonance for me is newfound And I could also move through it to another place But This is what I wanted to share today. Thank you. Good. Yeah, Kurt Thanks for the talk There's a Leonard Cohen song Yes near his death where he he wrote near his death where he kind of references that it's kind of opening himself

[40:57]

The question that I had had to do with I guess a little bit what you might see as being self-denial in Obedience to something else or it might be letting go of self And so when you were talking about Zaza and how You may want something better in the next moment But you're willing to just accept the next moment In a way, you're letting go of what you're wanting like at least when I'm practicing I'm knowing I'm always trying to get something or I'm trying to have some state or I'm wanting to get enlightened and so in some way Letting go of that letting going I'm trying and just sitting just being present is Almost it's a letting go of your own self or what you want in

[42:06]

opening to something larger and when you were talking about sojourn and Always answering it when someone not it brought to mind a Shunra Suzuki, and I think in might be in began one of his books. He mentions That if you're studying the sutras or something and someone brings you tea You should take that tea even though you feel like oh, I'm studying the sutras now Yeah, he was talking about his wife bringing them tea and he feels like saying hey quit Bob I'm doing something Really important, you know, I'm studying this great But really the important thing is to let go of what you think is so important and just meet the present moment which is Somebody's bringing you tea Somebody's knocking on your door There's a pain in your leg or whatever that is. And so I in my practice try to do that

[43:12]

Also I Guess struggle a bit with that issue of agency And and so if I'm really open to the next thing And I guess it's like being open to the doll or the way Then I'm willing to let go of my plans for some emerging thing which may not be exactly what I Mind and so asking myself How open am I to that when I think of the that story with Abraham and of course? I'm not I didn't grow up in that tradition, but it almost seems like it's it's a testing How open are you to the next thing? How willing are you to let go of? You know, what is your agenda or most important to you? Are you really and so is it obedience to God is it obedience to the doll is Obedience just the next moment. I mean not the obedience isn't a good word

[44:16]

I guess it's a dropping of self and they're realizing that that there's no separation between you and God That it isn't it's you wanting it to be something different. That's creating the space. That's right Go that space then it isn't like I have to obey. I'm just Expressing my true nature, right? Right. So there's a distinction as I said between obedience and response And I I've talked to him often about you know, there's this go on What's the what is the summation of a Buddha's whole lifetime an appropriate response? and Where do you I mean if you talk about this the story from Suzuki Roshi That's what Sojin experienced that's what shape Kim was just those kinds of teachings from Suzuki Roshi The root of our suffering to me is

[45:17]

In wanting things to be different from how they are But this is not so easy To pin down You still have to decide, you know in in a moment that arises when a thought arises of Something else or a thought arises say of something that is not right. That needs to be You know if you look at For example Sojin Roshi approaching the altar He often we've often seen this He would stop he would look He would align the the objects on the altar to according to Mysterious principles that he had in his mind To me it mysterious Now you could say Well, he wanted things to be different from how they were

[46:20]

Right Yeah He wanted he thought oh I can put this in alignment. So I have I have some agency here So let me do this. So it's not just accepting. It's not a passivity You know, it's it's not just a kind of Blind acceptance of the moment. You still have to have a Moral or ethical agency and The very thought that's coming up in your mind about what but it might be the next moment Might be the thing that you need to pay attention to You know It's not so simple Anyway, thank you. Thank you for that for that question Janay Was on a very Provocative talk. Thank you. So something you said reminded me of

[47:22]

Baker Roshi What he used to say way way back in the day and it seems I'm realizing that it's the thing. I remember most from him So he was nobody wants the next moment everybody wants the moment after next And I always thought I understood that but maybe now I'm not so sure I wonder if you might say something about that I mean, I don't know because I wasn't I wasn't there and that that sort of Makes sense. What you want is, you know is what is what you want your enjoyment? You know, do you want the enjoyment that you could that you think is going to come from the next moment that's that's How I would immediately understand that, you know, which is not the next moment itself So, maybe it's like

[48:25]

at some deep level Well, we want to keep the moment we're in Maybe not meet something that of course not what we would desire But we have a thought of the future that we're projecting into that's the moment after next Yeah, that's right. And the thing to read there is The Buddha's first sermon where he describes the nature of suffering and He explicates it very Very clearly it includes Wanting what we don't have Not wanting what we do have, you know, and all of all of these permutations of that and You can go back to that it's really easy to find Thank you. Um, I See somebody whom I don't know and I'd like to hear from him Chris

[49:28]

Is it Chris, yes Last name last name is guys guys. Where are you? I'm in Berkeley. This is my first Time joining. So thank you for the wonderful talk and it's been a nice introduction So you muted yourself, okay, sorry about that So I'm curious for those maybe like me who Tend to look inward often and even live inward a bit How to Respond to the moment And be attentive present ready to answer the call of each moment while also recognizing a need for kind of Restoration I guess I Guess everybody exists obviously on a spectrum of maybe introverted extroverted is a bit too simplified but

[50:35]

Yeah for those who kind of recognize a need for Kind of introspection to feel kind of whole and to be the best version of themselves in some way How might you? advise someone like me In terms of identifying I guess When when is sort of I don't know if healthy or adaptive is the right word, but when Maybe maybe more generally just how to find that balance and how that might how that question might be Explored within Zen Tradition, I think that it's explored within Zen tradition by the fact that our practice is really a path of It's it's really the shape of the practice is a whole life that It's not just that we meditate and face the wall

[51:39]

We eat together. We work together. We chant together. We cook together We walk Together in one kind of organism and so gradually You you can't avoid realizing who there's other people out there and That's the way we practice we don't go in a meditation hut or a cave and just and just Go inside So So that's what I would really recommend and you can you know, you can do this in your family. You can do this in your work And I would say What came to mind instantly was Take up a practice of listening Listening to your environment around you

[52:41]

Listen to Notice that You know if you're in Berkeley, you can hear the trains You know, you can hear the birds in the trees You can hear a motorcycle going by just recognize that these Sounds that are so called outside. You are also part of your entire reality and you know, I wouldn't I mean the thing is I wish I could encourage you to come and Practice with us face to face, but there'll be a time for that Yes That's that's what I would that's a start Yeah, I don't know if you or anybody else is familiar with the poet David White but he has a poem called everything is waiting for you and It has a similar feeling of like if you pay attention To the world around you it's sort of inviting you in a sense out of yourself Yeah, so

[53:44]

Modalities of meditation two major modalities of meditation one is It's a very intense inward focus a kind of visualization and a kind of closing off of the world and the other is an open awareness a Receptivity to all that is around us and I think that's our that's actually our orientation hmm Thank you very much We're near the end, I'm sorry There is a question in the chat box from Peter. Would you like to hear that early? Yeah Yes, could you say a bit more about the dysfunction of your early child early Jewish education the wish Peter is this Tulsa Okay, I need to know which Peter because it and I tell a different story for a different person I suppose Um The dysfunction was

[54:46]

Understandable Since the destruction of the temple which was destroyed twice the the temple in Jerusalem Find the Romans destroyed it The Center of Jewish Practice is really the house the household. The synagogue is not a temple. It's a gathering place and the I think that the assumption is that one would get the fundamental teachings at home and Then What you got by way of your Jewish education at the temple was kind of supplementary it filled it out And I think that part of it part of the problem was I never got it at home You know, we it was completely secular

[55:51]

And I was part of the dysfunction also was that I was compelled to have like six years of Jewish education For the sake of a grandfather that I could hardly communicate with and so it was sort of forced on me and It wasn't very skillful and I've often felt if I had if I had had Jewish education and teachers who were Anywhere near as skillful as the Buddhist teachers that I've had I might have had a different response But that that's setting aside the major Doctrinal and theological problems that I that I have with with religion Not with culture, but with the religion. So anyway, it was just it wasn't very well done and It's not that people were unkind. They just weren't They didn't feel like they had to give us the basics and

[56:56]

I Wasn't getting that at home in the same way. So that's about as far as I want to go. I See Rondi, you know, it's it last hand I see raised Or Charlie, yeah Charlie Thanks very much for an extremely engaging talk today Poisson I have two questions about The 36 hidden wise men The first question is did is it always the same 36 throughout time? No, they're I Don't know. I don't I'd have to study that the Legend but in this in this book in the last of the just what it follows. This is is that the just man was

[57:59]

One of the 36 was belonged to a particular family. It was born generation after generation Someone was born into that family who played that role. I don't understand. I don't know if that's I don't know if that's that that's That's good enough for me The second question is Contemporary Jewish theology might include 36 hidden wise women Would it would it would it not? I think some schools would and some schools You know, I mean there's just Well The reason I asked that is in the realm of politics women certainly have been leading a great great portion of political theory and practice

[59:02]

so I wondered whether That reality might carry over to Jewish theology Well, you know what I think is that all theology is still painfully patriarchal And that not just Jewish. It's like across the board and this is what we have responsibility to to change Well, I I thought of Mother Teresa is a Possibility of what are these wise women holding up the world maybe You know, I mean I These are myths and so I don't You to any of them, uh, all right, could we Blanche Hartman, you know, uh, maybe she was one of them There's lots of maybe maybe you know, uh, anyway

[60:10]

We have to find we have to find wisdom wherever it's being offered to us Of course, thank you. Okay. Is that it a co? Yes, it is sir, okay Thank you very much and enjoy the sunny crisp weather and We'll see you just remember we're going to do the sojourner she's 49 days ceremony on It'll be on Wednesday morning But if you can't join us, we'll do it on Thursday evening when we have more further recollections about sojourn Thank you

[61:00]

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